Plutarch's Morals
regulates his life. For it is peculiar to vice to be more afraid of
enemies than friends in regard to our faults. And so Nasica, when some
expressed their opinion that the Roman Republic was now secure, since
Carthage was rased to the ground and Achaia reduced to slavery, said,
"Nay rather we are now in a critical position, since we have none left
to fear or respect."
Sec. IV. Consider also that very philosophical and witty answer of Diogenes
to the man who asked, "How shall I avenge myself on my enemy?" "By
becoming a good and honest man."[508] Some people are terribly put about
if they see their enemies' horses in a good condition, or hear their
dogs praised; if they see their farm well-tilled, their garden
well-kept, they groan aloud. What a state think you then they would be
in, if you were to exhibit yourself as a just man, sensible and good, in
words excellent, in deeds pure, in manner of life decorous, "reaping
fruit from the deep soil of the soul, where good counsels grow."[509]
Pindar says[510] "those that are conquered are reduced to complete
silence:" but not absolutely, not all men, only those that see they are
outdone by their enemies in industry, in goodness, in magnanimity, in
humanity, in kindnesses; these, as Demosthenes says, "stop the tongue,
block up the mouth, choke people, and make them silent."[511]
"Be better than the bad: 'tis in your power."[512]
If you wish to vex the man who hates you, do not abuse him by calling
him a pathick, or effeminate, or intemperate, or a low fellow, or
illiberal; but be yourself a man, and temperate, and truthful, and kind
and just in all your dealings with those you come across. But if you are
tempted to use abuse, mind that you yourself are very far from what you
abuse him for, dive down into your own soul, look for any rottenness in
yourself, lest someone suggest to you the line of the tragedian,
"You doctor others, all diseased yourself."[513]
If you say your enemy is uneducated, increase your own love of learning
and industry; if you call him coward, stir up the more your own spirit
and manliness; and if you say he is wanton and licentious, erase from
your own soul any secret trace of the love of pleasure. For nothing is
more disgraceful or more unpleasant than slander that recoils on the
person who sets it in motion; for as the reflection of light seems most
to injure weak eyes, so does censure when it recoils on the censurer,
and is borne out by the facts. For as the north-east wind attracts
clouds, so does a bad life draw upon itself rebukes.
Sec. V. Whenever Plato was in company with people who behaved in an
unseemly manner, he used to say to himself, "Am I such a person as
this?"[514] So he that censures another man's life, if he straightway
examines and mends his own, directing and turning it into the contrary
direction, will get some advantage from his censure, which will be
otherwise idle and unprofitable. Most people laugh if a bald-pate or
hump-back jeer and mock at others who are so too: it is quite as
ridiculous to jeer and mock if one lies open to retort oneself, as Leo
of Byzantium showed in his answer to the hump-back who jeered at him for
weakness of eyes, "You twit me with an infirmity natural to man, while
you yourself carry your Nemesis on your back."[515] And so do not abuse
another as an adulterer, if you yourself are mad after boys: nor as a
spendthrift, if you yourself are niggardly. Alcmaeon said to Adrastus,
"You are near kinsman to a woman that slew her husband." What was his
reply? He retaliated on him with the appropriate retort, "But you killed
with your own hand the mother that bore you."[516] And Domitius said to
Crassus, "Did you not weep for the lamprey that was bred in your
fishpond, and died?" To which Crassus replied, "Did you weep, when you
buried your three wives?" He therefore that intends to abuse others must
not be witty and noisy and impudent, but a man that does not lie open to
counter-abuse and retort, for the god seems to have enjoined upon no one
the precept "Know thyself" so much as on the person who is censorious,
to prevent people saying just what they please, and hearing what don't
please them. For such a one is wont, as Sophocles[517] says, "idly
letting his tongue flow, to hear against his will, what he willingly
says ill of others."
Sec. VI. This use and advantage then there is in abusing one's enemy, and
no less arises from being abused and ill-spoken of oneself by one's
enemies. And so Antisthenes[518] said well that those who wish to lead a
good life ought to have genuine friends or red-hot enemies; for the
former deterred you from what was wrong by reproof, the latter by abuse.
But since friendship has nowadays become very mealy-mouthed in freedom
of speech, voluble in flattery and silent in rebuke, we can only hear
the truth from our enemies. For as Telephus[519] having no surgeon of
his own, submitted his wound to be cured by his enemy's spear, so those
who cannot procure friendly rebuke must content themselves with the
censure of an enemy that hates them, reprehending and castigating their
vices, and regard not the animus of the person, but only his matter. For
as he who intended to kill the Thessalian Prometheus[520] only stabbed a
tumour, and so lanced it that the man's life was saved, and he was rid
of the tumour by its bursting, so oftentimes abuse, suddenly thrust on a
man in anger or hatred, has cured some disease in his soul which he was
ignorant of or neglected. But most people when they are abused do not
consider whether the abuse really belongs to them properly, but look
round to see what abuse they can heap on the abuser, and, as wrestlers
get smothered with the dust of the arena, do not wipe off the abuse
hurled at themselves, but bespatter others, and at last get on both
sides grimy and discoloured. But if anyone gets a bad name from an
enemy, he ought to clear himself of the imputation even more than he
would remove any stain on his clothes that was pointed out to him; and
if it be wholly untrue, yet he ought to investigate what originated the
charge, and to be on his guard and be afraid lest he had unawares done
something very near akin to what was imputed to him. As Lacydes, the
king of the Argives, by the way he wore his hair and by his mincing walk
got charged with effeminacy: and Pompey's scratching his head with one
finger was construed in the same way, though both these men were very
far from effeminacy or wantonness. And Crassus was accused of an
intrigue with one of the Vestal Virgins, because he wished to purchase
from her a pleasant estate, and therefore frequently visited her and
waited upon her. And Postumia, from her readiness to laugh and talk
somewhat freely with men, got accused and even had to stand her trial
for incest,[521] but was, however, acquitted of that charge: but Spurius
Minucius the Pontif ex Maximus, when he pronounced her innocent, urged
her not to be freer in her words than she was in her life. And though
Themistocles[522] was guiltless of treason, his intimacy with Pausanias,
and the letters and messages that frequently passed between them, laid
him under suspicion.
Sec. VII. Whenever therefore any false charge is made against us, we ought
not merely to despise and neglect it as false, but to see what word or
action, either in jest or earnest, has made the charge seem probable,
and this we must for the future be earnestly on our guard against and
shun. For if others falling into unforeseen trouble and difficulties
teach us what is expedient, as Merope says,
"Fortune has made me wise, though she has ta'en
My dearest ones as wages,"[523]
why should we not take an enemy, and pay him no wages, to teach us, and
give us profit and instruction, in matters which had escaped our notice?
For an enemy has keener perception than a friend, for, as Plato[524]
says, "the lover is blind as respects the loved one," and hatred is both
curious and talkative. Hiero was twitted by one of his enemies for his
foul breath, so he went home and said to his wife, "How is this? You
never told me of it." But she being chaste and innocent replied, "I
thought all men's breath was like that."[525] Thus perceptible and
material things, and things that are plain to everybody, are sooner
learnt from enemies than from friends and intimates.
Sec. VIII. Moreover to keep the tongue well under control, no small factor
in moral excellence, and to make it always obedient and submissive to
reason, is not possible, unless by practice and attention and
painstaking a man has subdued his worst passions, as for example anger.
For such expressions as "a word uttered involuntarily," and "escaping
the barrier of the teeth,"[526] and "words darting forth spontaneously,"
well illustrate what happens in the case of ill-disciplined souls, ever
wavering and in an unsettled condition through infirmity of temper,
through unbridled fancy, or through faulty education. But, according to
divine Plato,[527] though a word seems a very trivial matter, the
heaviest penalty follows upon it both from gods and men. But silence can
never be called to account, is not only not thirsty, to borrow the
language of Hippocrates, but when abused is dignified and Socratic, or
rather Herculean, if indeed it was Hercules who said,
"Sharp words he heeded not so much as flies."[528]
Not more dignified and noble than this is it to keep silent when an
enemy reviles you, "as one swims by a smooth and mocking cliff," but in
practice it is better. If you accustom yourself to bear silently the
abuse of an enemy, you will very easily bear the attack of a scolding
wife, and will remain undisturbed when you hear the sharp language of a
friend or brother, and will be calm and placid when you are beaten or
have something thrown at your head by your father or mother. For
Socrates put up with Xanthippe, a passionate and forward woman, which
made him a more easy companion with others, as being accustomed to
submit to her caprices; and it is far better to train and accustom the
temper to bear quietly the insults and rages and jeers and taunts of
enemies and estranged persons, and not to be distressed at it.
Sec. IX. Thus then must we exhibit in our enmities meekness and
forbearance, and in our friendships still more simplicity and
magnanimity and kindness. For it is not so graceful to do a friend a
service, as disgraceful to refuse to do so at his request; and not to
revenge oneself on an enemy when opportunity offers is generous. But the
man who sympathizes with his enemy in affliction, and assists him in
distress, and readily holds out a helping hand to his children and
family and their fortunes when in a low condition, whoever does not
admire such a man for his humanity, and praise his benevolence,
"He has a black heart made of adamant
Or iron or bronze."[529]
When Caesar ordered the statues of Pompey that had been thrown down to be
put up again,[530] Cicero said, "You have set up again Pompey's statues,
and in so doing have erected statues to yourself." We ought not
therefore to be niggardly in our praise and honour of an enemy that
deserves a good name. For he who praises another receives on that
account greater praise himself, and is the more credited on another
occasion when he finds fault, as not having any personal ill-feeling
against the man, but only disapproving of his act; and what is most
noble and advantageous, the man who is accustomed to praise his enemies,
and not to be vexed or malignant at their prosperity, is as far as
possible from envying the good fortune of his friends, and the success
of his intimates. And yet what practice will be more beneficial to our
minds, or bring about a happier disposition, than that which banishes