Quo Vadis: A Narrative of the Time of Nero
expression of unspeakable delight. Petronius after a while raised her
exquisite head, and said, turning to Vinicius,--“But think now, what are
thy gloomy Christians in comparison with this? And if thou understand
not the difference, go thy way to them. But this sight will cure thee.”
Vinicius distended his nostrils, through which entered the odor of
violets, which filled the whole chamber, and he grew pale; for he
thought that if he could have passed his lips along Lygia’s shoulders
in that way, it would have been a kind of sacrilegious delight so great
that let the world vanish afterward! But accustomed now to a quick
perception of that which took place in him, he noticed that at that
moment he was thinking of Lygia, and of her only.
“Eunice,” said Petronius, “give command, thou divine one, to prepare
garlands for our heads and a meal.”
When she had gone out he turned to Vinicius.
“I offered to make her free, but knowest thou what she answered?--‘I
would rather be thy slave than Cæsar’s wife!’ And she would not consent.
I freed her then without her knowledge. The pretor favored me by not
requiring her presence. But she does not know that she is free, as also
she does not know that this house and all my jewels, excepting the gems,
will belong to her in case of my death.” He rose and walked through the
room, and said: “Love changes some more, others less, but it has changed
even me. Once I loved the odor of verbenas; but as Eunice prefers
violets, I like them now beyond all other flowers, and since spring came
we breathe only violets.”
Here he stopped before Vinicius and inquired,--“But as to thee, dost
thou keep always to nard?”
“Give me peace!” answered the young man.
“I wished thee to see Eunice, and I mentioned her to thee, because thou,
perhaps, art seeking also at a distance that which is near. Maybe for
thee too is beating, somewhere in the chambers of thy slaves, a true and
simple heart. Apply such a balsam to thy wounds. Thou sayest that
Lygia loves thee? Perhaps she does. But what kind of love is that
which abdicates? Is not the meaning this,--that there is another force
stronger than her love? No, my dear, Lygia is not Eunice.”
“All is one torment merely,” answered Vinicius. “I saw thee kissing
Eunice’s shoulders, and I thought then that if Lygia would lay hers bare
to me I should not care if the ground opened under us next moment. But
at the very thought of such an act a certain dread seized me, as if I
had attacked some vestal or wished to defile a divinity. Lygia is not
Eunice, but I understand the difference not in thy way. Love has changed
thy nostrils, and thou preferrest violets to verbenas; but it has
changed my soul: hence, in spite of my misery and desire, I prefer Lygia
to be what she is rather than to be like others.”
“In that case no injustice is done thee. But I do not understand the
position.”
“True, true!” answered Vinicius, feverishly. “We understand each other
no longer.”
Another moment of silence followed.
“May Hades swallow thy Christians!” exclaimed Petronius. “They have
filled thee with disquiet, and destroyed thy sense of life. May Hades
devour them! Thou art mistaken in thinking that their religion is good,
for good is what gives people happiness, namely, beauty, love, power;
but these they call vanity. Thou art mistaken in this, that they are
just; for if we pay good for evil, what shall we pay for good? And
besides, if we pay the same for one and the other, why are people to be
good?”
“No, the pay is not the same; but according to their teaching it begins
in a future life, which is without limit.”
“I do not enter into that question, for we shall see hereafter if it
be possible to see anything without eyes. Meanwhile they are simply
incompetents. Ursus strangled Croton because he has limbs of bronze; but
these are mopes, and the future cannot belong to mopes.”
“For them life begins with death.”
“Which is as if one were to say, ‘Day begins with night.’ Hast thou the
intent to carry off Lygia?”
“No, I cannot pay her evil for good, and I swore that I would not.”
“Dost thou intend to accept the religion of Christ?”
“I wish to do so, but my nature cannot endure it.”
“But wilt thou be able to forget Lygia?”
“No.”
“Then travel.”
At that moment the slaves announced that the repast was ready; but
Petronius, to whom it seemed that he had fallen on a good thought,
said, on the way to the triclinium,--“Thou has ridden over a part of the
world, but only as a soldier hastening to his place of destination, and
without halting by the way. Go with us to Achæa. Cæsar has not given up
the journey. He will stop everywhere on the way, sing, receive crowns,
plunder temples, and return as a triumphator to Italy. That will
resemble somewhat a journey of Bacchus and Apollo in one person.
Augustians, male and female, a thousand citharæ. By Castor! that will be
worth witnessing, for hitherto the world has not seen anything like it!”
Here he placed himself on the couch before the table, by the side of
Eunice; and when the slaves put a wreath of anemones on his head, he
continued,--“What hast thou seen in Corbulo’s service? Nothing. Hast
thou seen the Grecian temples thoroughly, as I have,--I who was passing
more than two years from the hands of one guide to those of another?
Hast thou been in Rhodes to examine the site of the Colossus? Hast thou
seen in Panopeus, in Phocis, the clay from which Prometheus shaped man;
or in Sparta the eggs laid by Leda; or in Athens the famous Sarmatian
armor made of horse-hoofs; or in Euboea the ship of Agamemnon; or the
cup for whose pattern the left breast of Helen served? Hast thou seen
Alexandria, Memphis, the Pyramids, the hair which Isis tore from her
head in grief for Osiris? Hast thou heard the shout of Memnon? The world
is wide; everything does not end at the Trans-Tiber! I will accompany
Cæsar, and when he returns I will leave him and go to Cyprus; for it
is the wish of this golden-haired goddess of mine that we offer doves
together to the divinity in Paphos, and thou must know that whatever she
wishes must happen.”
“I am thy slave,” said Eunice.
He rested his garlanded head on her bosom, and said with a smile,--“Then
I am the slave of a slave. I admire thee, divine one, from feet to
head!”
Then he said to Vinicius: “Come with us to Cyprus. But first remember
that thou must see Cæsar. It is bad that thou hast not been with him
yet; Tigellinus is ready to use this to thy disadvantage. He has no
personal hatred for thee, it is true; but he cannot love thee, even
because thou art my sister’s son. We shall say that thou wert sick. We
must think over what thou art to answer should he ask thee about Lygia.
It will be best to wave thy hand and say that she was with thee till she
wearied thee. He will understand that. Tell him also that sickness kept
thee at home; that thy fever was increased by disappointment at not
being able to visit Naples and hear his song; that thou wert assisted to
health only by the hope of hearing him. Fear no exaggeration. Tigellinus
promises to invent, not only something great for Cæsar, but something
enormous. I am afraid that he will undermine me; I am afraid too of thy
disposition.”
“Dost thou know,” said Vinicius, “that there are people who have no fear
of Cæsar, and who live as calmly as if he were non-existent?”
“I know whom thou hast in mind--the Christians.”
“Yes; they alone. But our life,--what is it if not unbroken terror?”
“Do not mention thy Christians. They fear not Cæsar, because he has not
even heard of them perhaps; and in every case he knows nothing of them,
and they concern him as much as withered leaves. But I tell thee that
they are incompetents. Thou feelest this thyself; if thy nature is
repugnant to their teaching, it is just because thou feelest their
incompetence. Thou art a man of other clay; so trouble not thyself or me
with them. We shall be able to live and die, and what more they will be
able to do is unknown.”
These words struck Vinicius; and when he returned home, he began to
think that in truth, perhaps, the goodness and charity of Christians was
a proof of their incompetience of soul. It seemed to him that people
of strength and temper could not forgive thus. It came to his head that
this must be the real cause of the repulsion which his Roman soul
felt toward their teaching. “We shall be able to live and die!” said
Petronius. As to them, they know only how to forgive, and understand
neither true love nor true hatred.
Chapter XXX
Cæsar, on returning to Rome, was angry because he had returned, and
after some days was filled anew with a wish to visit Achæa. He even
issued an edict in which he declared that his absence would be short,
and that public affairs would not be exposed to detriment because of it.
In company with Augustians, among whom was Vinicius, he repaired to the
Capitol to make offerings to the gods for an auspicious journey. But on
the second day, when he visited the temple of Vesta, an event took place
which changed all his projects. Nero feared the gods, though he did not
believe in them; he feared especially the mysterious Vesta, who filled
him with such awe that at sight of the divinity and the sacred fire his
hair rose on a sudden from terror, his teeth chattered, a shiver
ran through his limbs, and he dropped into the arms of Vinicius, who
happened there behind him. He was borne out of the temple at once, and
conveyed to the Palatine, where he recovered soon, but did not leave the
bed for that day. He declared, moreover, to the great astonishment of
those present, that he deferred his journey, since the divinity had
warned him secretly against haste. An hour later it was announced
throughout Rome that Cæsar, seeing the gloomy faces of the citizens, and
moved by love for them, as a father for his children, would remain
to share their lot and their pleasures. The people, rejoiced at
this decision, and certain also that they would not miss games and
a distribution of wheat, assembled in crowds before the gates of
the Palatine, and raised shouts in honor of the divine Cæsar, who
interrupted the play at dice with which he was amusing himself with
Augustians, and said:
“Yes, there was need to defer the journey. Egypt, and predicted dominion
over the Orient, cannot escape me; hence Achæa, too, will not be lost.
I will give command to cut through the isthmus of Corinth; I will rear
such monuments in Egypt that the pyramids will seem childish toys in
comparison; I will have a sphinx built seven times greater than that
which is gazing into the desert outside Memphis; but I will command that
it have my face. Coming ages will speak only of that monument and of
me.”
“With thy verses thou hast reared a monument to thyself already, not
seven, but thrice seven, times greater than the pyramid of Cheops,” said
Petronius.
“But with my song?” inquired Nero.
“Ah! if men could only build for thee a statue, like that of Memnon, to
call with thy voice at sunrise! For all ages to come the seas adjoining
Egypt would swarm with ships in which crowds from the three parts of the
world would be lost in listening to thy song.”
“Alas! who can do that?” said Nero.
“But thou canst give command to cut out of basalt thyself driving a
quadriga.”
“True! I will do that!”
“Thou wilt bestow a gift on humanity.”
“In Egypt I will marry the Moon, who is now a widow, and I shall be a
god really.”
“And thou wilt give us stars for wives; we will make a new
constellation, which will be called the constellation of Nero. But do
thou marry Vitelius to the Nile, so that he may beget hippopotamuses.
Give the desert to Tigellinus, he will be king of the jackals.”
“And what dost thou predestine to me?” inquired Vatinius.