Quo Vadis: A Narrative of the Time of Nero
was near the Emporium, that they must be hungry and wearied since they
had spent the greater part of the day at the gate.
They went with him, and, after rest and refreshment in his house,
returned to the Trans-Tiber only toward evening. Intending to cross the
river by the Æmilian bridge, they passed through the Clivus Publicus,
going over the Aventine, between the temples of Diana and Mercury. From
that height the Apostle looked on the edifices about him, and on those
vanishing in the distance. Sunk in silence he meditated on the immensity
and dominion of that city, to which he had come to announce the word of
God. Hitherto he had seen the rule of Rome and its legions in various
lands through which he had wandered, but they were single members as
it were of the power, which that day for the first time he had seen
impersonated in the form of Nero. That city, immense, predatory,
ravenous, unrestrained, rotten to the marrow of its bones, and
unassailable in its preterhuman power; that Cæsar, a fratricide, a
matricide, a wife-slayer, after him dragged a retinue of bloody spectres
no less in number than his court. That profligate, that buffoon, but
also lord of thirty legions, and through them of the whole earth; those
courtiers covered with gold and scarlet, uncertain of the morrow, but
mightier meanwhile than kings,--all this together seemed a species of
hellish kingdom of wrong and evil. In his simple heart he marvelled that
God could give such inconceivable almightiness to Satan, that He could
yield the earth to him to knead, overturn, and trample it, to squeeze
blood and tears from it, to twist it like a whirlwind, to storm it like
a tempest, to consume it like a flame. And his Apostle-heart was alarmed
by those thoughts, and in spirit he spoke to the Master: “O Lord, how
shall I begin in this city, to which Thou hast sent me? To it belong
seas and lands, the beasts of the field, and the creatures of the water;
it owns other kingdoms and cities, and thirty legions which guard them;
but I, O Lord, am a fisherman from a lake! How shall I begin, and how
shall I conquer its malice?”
Thus speaking he raised his gray, trembling head toward heaven, praying
and exclaiming from the depth of his heart to his Divine Master, himself
full of sadness and fear.
Meanwhile his prayer was interrupted by Lygia.
“The whole city is as if on fire,” said she.
In fact the sun went down that day in a marvellous manner. Its immense
shield had sunk half-way behind the Janiculum, the whole expanse of
heaven was filled with a red gleam. From the place on which they were
standing, Peter’s glance embraced large expanses. Somewhat to the right
they saw the long extending walls of the Circus Maximus; above it the
towering palaces of the Palatine; and directly in front of them, beyond
the Forum Boarium and the Velabrum, the summit of the Capitol, with the
temple of Jupiter. But the walls and the columns and the summits of the
temples were as if sunk in that golden and purple gleam. The parts of
the river visible from afar flowed as if in blood; and as the sun sank
moment after moment behind the mountain, the gleam became redder
and redder, more and more like a conflagration, and it increased
and extended till finally it embraced the seven hills, from which it
extended to the whole region about.
“The whole city seems on fire!” repeated Lygia.
Peter shaded his eyes with his hand, and said--
“The wrath of God is upon it.”
Chapter XXXVII
VINCIUS to LYGIA:
“The slave Phlegon, by whom I send this letter, is a Christian; hence he
will be one of those to receive freedom from thy hands, my dearest.
He is an old servant of our house; so I can write to thee with full
confidence, and without fear that the letter will fall into other hands
than thine. I write from Laurentum, where we have halted because of
heat. Otho owned here a lordly villa, which on a time he presented
to Poppæa; and she, though divorced from him, saw fit to retain the
magnificent present. When I think of the women who surround me now and
of thee, it seems to me that from the stones hurled by Deucalion there
must have risen people of various kinds, altogether unlike one another,
and that thou art of those born of crystal.
“I admire and love thee from my whole soul, and wish to speak only of
thee; hence I am forced to constrain myself to write of our journey, of
that which happens to me, and of news of the court. Well, Cæsar was the
guest of Poppæa, who prepared for him secretly a magnificent reception.
She invited only a few of his favorites, but Petronius and I were among
them. After dinner we sailed in golden boats over the sea, which was as
calm as if it had been sleeping, and as blue as thy eyes, O divine one.
We ourselves rowed, for evidently it flattered the Augusta that men of
consular dignity, or their sons, were rowing for her. Cæsar, sitting at
the rudder in a purple toga, sang a hymn in honor of the sea; this hymn
he had composed the night before, and with Diodorus had arranged music
to it. In other boats he was accompanied by slaves from India who knew
how to play on sea-shells while round about appeared numerous dolphins,
as if really enticed from Amphitrite’s depths by music. Dost thou know
what I was doing? I was thinking of thee, and yearning. I wanted to
gather in that sea, that calm, and that music, and give the whole to
thee.
“Dost thou wish that we should live in some place at the seashore far
from Rome, my Augusta? I have land in Sicily, on which there is an
almond forest which has rose-colored blossoms in spring, and this forest
goes down so near the sea that the tips of the branches almost touch the
water. There I will love thee and magnify Paul’s teaching, for I
know now that it will not be opposed to love and happiness. Dost
thou wish?--But before I hear thy answer I will write further of what
happened on the boat.
“Soon the shore was far behind. We saw a sail before us in the
distance, and all at once a dispute rose as to whether it was a common
fishing-boat or a great ship from Ostia. I was the first to discover
what it was, and then the Augusta said that for my eyes evidently
nothing was hidden, and, dropping the veil over her face on a sudden,
she inquired if I could recognize her thus. Petronius answered
immediately that it was not possible to see even the sun behind a cloud;
but she said, as if in jest, that love alone could blind such a piercing
glance as mine, and, naming various women of the court, she fell to
inquiring and guessing which one I loved. I answered calmly, but at last
she mentioned thy name. Speaking of thee, she uncovered her face again,
and looked at me with evil and inquiring eyes.
“I feel real gratitude to Petronius, who turned the boat at that moment,
through which general attention was taken from me; for had I heard
hostile or sneering words touching thee, I should not have been able to
hide my anger, and should have had to struggle with the wish to break
the head of that wicked, malicious woman with my oar. Thou rememberest
the incident at the pond of Agrippa about which I told thee at the house
of Linus on the eve of my departure. Petronius is alarmed on my account,
and to-day again he implored me not to offend the Augusta’s vanity. But
Petronius does not understand me, and does not realize that, apart from
thee, I know no pleasure or beauty or love, and that for Poppæa I
feel only disgust and contempt. Thou hast changed my soul greatly,--so
greatly that I should not wish now to return to my former life. But have
no fear that harm may reach me here. Poppæa does not love me, for she
cannot love any one, and her desires arise only from anger at Cæsar, who
is under her influence yet, and who is even capable of loving her
yet; still, he does not spare her, and does not hide from her his
transgressions and shamelessness.
“I will tell thee, besides, something which should pacify thee. Peter
told me in parting not to fear Cæsar, since a hair would not fall from
my head; and I believe him. Some voice in my soul says that every word
of his must be accomplished; that since he blessed our love, neither
Cæsar, nor all the powers of Hades, nor predestination itself, could
take thee from me, O Lygia. When I think of this I am as happy as if I
were in heaven, which alone is calm and happy. But what I say of heaven
and predestination may offend thee, a Christian. Christ has not washed
me yet, but my heart is like an empty chalice, which Paul of Tarsus is
to fill with the sweet doctrine professed by thee,--the sweeter for me
that it is thine. Thou, divine one, count even this as a merit to me
that I have emptied it of the liquid with which I had filled it before,
and that I do not withdraw it, but hold it forth as a thirsty man
standing at a pure spring. Let me find favor in thy eyes.
“In Antium my days and nights will pass in listening to Paul, who
acquired such influence among my people on the first day that they
surround him continually, seeing in him not only a wonder-worker, but
a being almost supernatural. Yesterday I saw gladness on his face, and
when I asked what he was doing, he answered, ‘I am sowing!’ Petronius
knows that he is among my people, and wishes to see him, as does Seneca
also, who heard of him from Gallo.
“But the stars are growing pale, O Lygia, and ‘Lucifer’ of the morning
is bright with growing force. Soon the dawn will make the sea ruddy; all
is sleeping round about, but I am thinking of thee and loving thee. Be
greeted together with the morning dawn, sponsa mea!”
Chapter XXXVIII
VINICIUS to LYGIA:
“Hast thou ever been in Antium, my dear one, with Aulus and Pomponia? If
not, I shall be happy when I show this place to thee. All the way from
Laurentum there is a line of villas along the seashore; and Antium
itself is an endless succession of palaces and porticos, whose columns
in fair weather see themselves in the water. I, too, have a residence
here right over the sea, with an olive garden and a forest of cypresses
behind the villa, and when I think that the place will sometime be
thine, its marble seems whiter to me, its groves more shady, and the
sea bluer. Oh, Lygia, how good it is to live and love! Old Menikles, who
manages the villa, planted irises on the ground under myrtles, and at
sight of them the house of Aulus, the impluvium, and the garden in which
I sat near thee, came to my mind. The irises will remind thee, too, of
thy childhood’s home; therefore I am certain that thou wilt love Antium
and this villa.
“Immediately after our arrival I talked long with Paul at dinner. We
spoke of thee, and afterward he taught. I listened long, and I say only
this, that even could I write like Petronius, I should not have power to
explain everything which passed through my soul and my mind. I had not
supposed that there could be such happiness in this world, such beauty
and peace of which hitherto people had no knowledge. But I retain all
this for conversation with thee, for at the first free moment I shall be
in Rome.
“How could the earth find place at once for the Apostle Peter, Paul
of Tarsus, and Cæsar? Tell me this. I ask because I passed the evening
after Paul’s teaching with Nero, and dost thou know what I heard there?
Well, to begin with, he read his poem on the destruction of Troy, and
complained that never had he seen a burning city. He envied Priam, and
called him happy just for this, that he saw the conflagration and ruin
of his birthplace. Whereupon Tigellinus said, ‘Speak a word, O divinity,
I will take a torch, and before the night passes thou shalt see blazing
Antium.’ But Cæsar called him a fool. ‘Where,’ asked he, ‘should I go
to breathe the sea air, and preserve the voice with which the gods