About this book

R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots)

Karel Čapek

DOMIN. Because they’re _all_ going to ask you in turn. HELENA. (_Crossing him to L.C._) How could they dare do such a thing? DOMIN. I’m very sorry, Miss Glory. It seems they’ve fallen in love with you. HELENA. Please don’t let them. I’ll--I’ll go away at once. (_Starts R. He stops her, his arms up._) DOMIN. Helena-- (_She backs away to desk. He follows_) You wouldn’t be so cruel as to refuse us. HELENA. But, but--I can’t marry all six. DOMIN. No, but one anyhow. If you don’t want _me_, marry Fabry. HELENA. I won’t. DOMIN. Ah! Doctor Gall? HELENA. I don’t want any of you. DOMIN. Another two minutes. (_Pleading. Looking at watch._) HELENA. I think you’d marry any woman who came here. DOMIN. _Plenty_ of them have come, Helena. HELENA. (_Laughing_) Young? DOMIN. Yes. HELENA. Why didn’t you marry one of _them_? DOMIN. Because I didn’t lose my head. Until today--then as soon as you lifted your veil-- (_HELENA turns her head away._) Another minute. (_WARN Curtain._) HELENA. But I don’t want you, I tell you. DOMIN. (_Laying both hands on her shoulder_) One more minute! Now you either have to look me straight in the eye and say “no” violently, and then I leave you alone--or-- (_HELENA looks at him. He takes hands away. She takes his hand again._) HELENA. (_Turning her head away_) You’re mad. DOMIN. A man _has_ to be a bit mad, Helena. That’s the best thing about him. (_He draws her to him._) HELENA. (_Not meaning it_) You are--you are-- DOMIN. Well? HELENA. Don’t, you’re hurting me! DOMIN. The last chance, Helena. Now or never-- HELENA. But--but-- (_He embraces her; kisses her. She embraces him. KNOCKING at R. door._) DOMIN. (_Releasing her_) Come in. (_She lays her head on his shoulder._) (_Enter BUSMAN, GALL and HALLEMEIER in kitchen aprons, FABRY with a bouquet and ALQUIST with a napkin under his arm._) DOMIN. Have you finished your job? BUSMAN. Yes. DOMIN. So have we. (_He embraces her. The MEN rush around them and offer congratulations._) THE CURTAIN FALLS QUICKLY ACT TWO SCENE: _HELENA’S drawing room. Ten years later. The skeleton framework of Act I is still used. Tall windows put in back instead of Act I windows. Steel shutters for these windows. Where the green cabinet of Act I at Left has stood is a door, L.2, leading to the outside. Where the cabinet stood at Right, a fireplace is placed. The tall open hallway R.C. of Act I is blocked up with a flat piece. The doors at Right and Left 1 have been changed to those of a drawing room. Door at Right leads to HELENA’S bedroom. Door at Left 1 leads to library._ _The furniture consists of a reading table at Left Center covered with magazines. A chair to the Left of table. In front of table is an armchair covered in chintz. A couch Right Center and back of it is a small table with books and book-ends. On this table a small reading lamp. At Right between doorway and fireplace is a small table. There is a work-basket upon it, with pincushion, needles, etc. Down stage at Right and facing the couch is another armchair used by ALQUIST. To the Left of fireplace is a straight-backed chair. Upstage at Left near the L.2 door to the outside is a writing desk. There is a lamp upon it, writing paper, etc., a telephone and binoculars._ _The walls of the room have been covered with silk to the height of seven feet. This is done in small flats to fit the different spaces and are in place against the permanent set. The two French windows open into the room. At the rise they are open. There is a balcony beyond looking over the harbor. The same telegraph wires and poles from Act I are again visible through the window. The windows are trimmed with gray lace curtains. Binoculars on desk up stage by television._ _It is about nine in the morning and SUNLIGHT streams into the room through the open windows. DOMIN opens the door L.2; tiptoes in. He carries a potted plant. He beckons the OTHERS to follow him, and HALLEMEIER and FABRY enter, both carrying a potted plant. DOMIN places flowers on the library table and goes to Right and looks toward HELENA’S bedroom R._ HALLEMEIER. (_Putting down his flowers on L.C. table and indicates the door R._) Still asleep? DOMIN. Yes. HALLEMEIER. Well, as long as she’s asleep she can’t worry about it. (_He remains at L.C. table._) DOMIN. She knows nothing about it. (_At C._) FABRY. (_Putting plant on writing desk_) I certainly hope nothing happens today. HALLEMEIER. For goodness sake drop it all. Look, this is a fine cyclamen, isn’t it? A new sort, my latest--Cyclamen Helena. DOMIN. (_Picks up binoculars and goes out into balcony_) No signs of the ship. Things must be pretty bad. HALLEMEIER. Be quiet. Suppose she heard you. DOMIN. (_Coming into room, puts glasses on desk_) Well, anyway the _Ultimus_ arrived just in time. FABRY. You really think that today--? DOMIN. I don’t know. (_He crosses to L.C. table_) Aren’t the flowers fine? HALLEMEIER. (_Fondles flowers_) These are my primroses. And this is my new jasmine. I’ve discovered a wonderful way of developing flowers quickly. Splendid varieties, too. Next year I’ll be developing marvelous ones. DOMIN. What next year? FABRY. I’d give a good deal to know what’s happening at Havre with-- HELENA. (_Off R._) Nana. DOMIN. Keep quiet. She’s awake. Out you go. (_ALL go out on tiptoe through L.2 door. Enter NANA L.1_) HELENA. (_Calling from R._) Nana? NANA. Horrid mess! Pack of heathens. If I had _my_ say, I’d-- HELENA. (_Backwards in the doorway from R._) Nana, come and do up my dress. NANA. I’m coming. So you’re up at last. (_Fastening HELENA’S dress_) My gracious, what brutes! HELENA. Who? (_Turning._) NANA. If you want to turn _around_, then turn around, but I shan’t fasten you up. HELENA. (_Turns back_) What are you grumbling about now? NANA. These dreadful creatures, these heathens-- HELENA. (_Turning toward NANA again_) The Robots? NANA. I wouldn’t even call them by name. HELENA. What’s happened? NANA. Another of them here has caught it. He began to smash up the statues and pictures in the drawing room; gnashed his teeth; foamed at the mouth. Worse than an animal. HELENA. Which of them caught it? NANA. The one--well, he hasn’t got any _Christian_ name. The one in charge of the library. HELENA. Radius? NANA. That’s him. My goodness, I’m scared of them. A spider doesn’t scare me as much as them. HELENA. But Nana, I’m surprised you’re not sorry for them. NANA. Why, you’re scared of them too. You know you are. Why else did you bring _me_ here? HELENA. I’m not scared, really I’m not, Nana. I’m only sorry for them. NANA. You’re scared. Nobody could _help_ being scared. Why, the dog’s scared of them. He won’t take a scrap of meat out of their hands. He draws in his tail and howls when he knows they’re about. HELENA. The dog has no sense. NANA. He’s better than _them_, and he knows it. Even the _horse_ shies when he meets them. They don’t have any young, and a _dog_ has young, _everyone_ has young-- HELENA. (_Turning back_) Please fasten up my dress, Nana. NANA. I say it’s against God’s will to-- HELENA. What is it that smells so nice? NANA. Flowers. HELENA. What for? NANA. Now you can turn around. HELENA. (_Turns; crosses to C._) Oh, aren’t they lovely? Look, Nana. What’s happening today? NANA. It ought to be the end of the world. (_Enter DOMIN L.2. He crosses down front of table L.C._) HELENA. (_Crosses to him_) Oh, hello, Harry. (_NANA turns upstage to L._) Harry, why all these flowers? DOMIN. Guess. (_This scene is played down in front of L.C. table._) HELENA. Well, it’s not my _birthday_! DOMIN. Better than that. HELENA. I don’t know. Tell me. DOMIN. It’s ten years ago _today_ since you _came_ here. HELENA. Ten years? Today? Why-- (_They embrace._) NANA. (_Muttering_) I’m off. (_She exits L.1._) HELENA. Fancy you remembering. DOMIN. I’m really ashamed, Helena. I didn’t. HELENA. But you-- DOMIN. _They_ remembered. HELENA. Who? DOMIN. Busman, Hallemeier--_all_ of them. Put your hand in my pocket. HELENA. (_Takes necklace from his Left jacket pocket_) Oh! Pearls! A necklace! Harry, is this for me? DOMIN. It’s from Busman. HELENA. But we can’t accept it, can we? DOMIN. Oh, yes, we can. (_Puts necklace on table L.C._) Put your hand in the other pocket. HELENA. (_Takes a revolver out of his Right pocket_) What’s that? DOMIN. Sorry. Not that. Try again. (_He puts gun in pocket._) HELENA. Oh, Harry, why do you carry a revolver? DOMIN. It got there by mistake. HELENA. You never used to _carry_ one. DOMIN. No, you’re right. (_Indicates breast pocket_) There, that’s the pocket. HELENA. (_Takes out cameo_) A cameo. Why, it’s a Greek cameo. DOMIN. Apparently. Anyhow, Fabry says it is. HELENA. Fabry? Did Mr. Fabry give me that? DOMIN. Of course. (_Opens the L.1 door_) And look in here. Helena, come and see this. (_BOTH exit L.1._) HELENA. (_Off L.1_) Oh, isn’t it fine? Is this from you? DOMIN. (_Off L.1_) No, from Alquist. And there’s another on the piano. HELENA. This must be from you? DOMIN. There’s a card on it. HELENA. From Doctor Gall. (_Reappearing in L.1 doorway_) Oh, Harry, I feel embarrassed at so much kindness. DOMIN. (_Enters to up R. of table L.C._) Come here. This is what Hallemeier brought you. HELENA. (_To up L. of desk_) These beautiful flowers? DOMIN. Yes. It’s a new kind. Cyclamen-Helena. He grew them in honor of _you_. They are almost as beautiful as you. HELENA. (_Kissing him_) Harry, why do they all-- DOMIN. They’re awfully fond of you. I’m afraid that my present is a little--Look out of the window. (_Crosses to window and beckons to her._) HELENA. Where? (_They go out into the balcony._) DOMIN. Into the harbor. HELENA. There’s a new ship. DOMIN. That’s _your_ ship. HELENA. Mine? How do you mean? DOMIN. (_R._) For you to take trips in--for your amusement. HELENA. (_L._) Harry, that’s a gunboat. DOMIN. A gunboat? What are you thinking of? It’s only a little _bigger_ and more _solid_ than most ships. HELENA. Yes, but with guns. DOMIN. Oh, yes, with a few guns. You’ll travel like a _queen_, Helena. HELENA. What’s the meaning of it? Has anything happened? DOMIN. Good heavens, no. I say, try these pearls. (_Crosses to R. of table L.C._) HELENA. Harry, have you had bad news? DOMIN. On the contrary, no letters have arrived for a whole week. HELENA. Nor telegrams? (_Coming into the room C._) DOMIN. Nor telegrams. HELENA. What does that mean? DOMIN. _Holidays_ for us! We all sit in the office with our feet on the table and take a nap. No letters--no telegrams. Glorious! HELENA. Then you’ll stay with me today? DOMIN. Certainly. (_Embraces her_) That is, we will see. Do you remember ten years ago today? (_Crosses to L. of table L.C._) Miss Glory, it’s a great honor to welcome you. (_They assume the same positions as when they first met ten years before in DOMIN’S office._) HELENA. (_To table_) Oh, Mr. Manager, I’m so interested in your factory. (_She sits R. of table._) DOMIN. I’m sorry, Miss Glory, it’s strictly forbidden. The manufacture of artificial people is a secret. HELENA. But to oblige the young lady who has come a long way. DOMIN. (_Leans on table_) Certainly, Miss Glory. I have no secrets from you. HELENA. Are you sure, Harry? (_Leaning on desk, seriously, his right hand on hers._) DOMIN. _Yes._ (_They gradually draw apart._) HELENA. But I warn you, sir, this young lady intends to do terrible things.