About this book

R.U.R. (Rossum's Universal Robots)

Karel Čapek

DOMIN. Good gracious, Miss Glory. Perhaps she doesn’t want to marry me. HELENA. Heaven forbid. She never dreamt of such a thing. But she came here intending to stir up a _revolt_ among your _Robots_. DOMIN. A revolt of the Robots! HELENA. (_Low voice_) Harry, what’s the matter with you? DOMIN. (_Laughing it off_) _A revolt of the Robots_, that’s a fine idea. (_Crosses to back of table. She watches him suspiciously._) Miss Glory, it would be easier for you to cause bolts and screws to rebel than our Robots. You know, Helena, you’re wonderful. You’ve turned the hearts of us all. (_Sits on table._) HELENA. Oh, I was fearfully impressed by you all then. You were all so sure of yourselves, so strong. I seemed like a tiny little girl who had lost her way among--among-- DOMIN. What? HELENA. (_Front_) Among huge trees. All my feelings were so _trifling_ compared with your _self-confidence_. And in all these years I’ve never _lost_ this anxiety. But you’ve never felt the _least_ misgiving, not even when everything went wrong. DOMIN. What went wrong? HELENA. Your plans. You remember, Harry, when the workmen in America revolted against the Robots and smashed them up, and when the people gave the Robots firearms against the rebels. And then when the governments turned the Robots into soldiers, and there were so many _wars_. DOMIN. (_Getting up and walking about_) We foresaw that, Helena. (_Around table to R.C._) You see, these are only passing troubles which are bound to happen before the new conditions are _established_. (_Walking up and down, standing at Center._) HELENA. You were all so powerful, so overwhelming. The _whole world_ bowed down before you. (_Rising_) Oh, Harry! (_Crosses to him._) DOMIN. What is it? HELENA. Close the factory and let’s go away. All of us. DOMIN. I say, what’s the meaning of this? HELENA. I don’t know. But can’t we go away? DOMIN. Impossible, Helena! That is, at this particular moment-- HELENA. At once, Harry. I’m so frightened. DOMIN. (_Takes her_) About what, Helena? HELENA. It’s as if something was falling on top of us, and couldn’t be stopped. Oh, take us all away from here. We’ll find a place in the world where there’s no one else. Alquist will build us a house, and then we’ll begin life all over again. (_The TELEPHONE rings._) DOMIN. (_Crosses to telephone on desk up L._) Excuse me. Hello--yes, what? I’ll be there at once. Fabry is calling me, my dear. (_Crosses L._) HELENA. Tell me-- (_She rushes up to him._) DOMIN. Yes, when I come back. Don’t go out of the house, dear. (_Exits L.2._) HELENA. He won’t tell me. (_NANA brings in a water carafe from L.1._) Nana, find me the latest newspapers. Quickly. Look in Mr. Domin’s bedroom. NANA. All right. (_Crosses R._) He leaves them all over the place. That’s how they get crumpled up. (_Continues muttering. Exits R._) HELENA. (_Looking through binoculars at the harbor_) That’s a warship. U-l-t-i--_Ultimus_. They’re loading. NANA. (_Enters R. with newspapers_) Here they are. See how they’re crumpled up. HELENA. (_Crosses down_) They’re old ones. A week old. (_Drops papers. BOTH at front of couch. NANA sits R. of table L.C. Puts on spectacles. Reads the newspapers._) Something’s happening, Nana. NANA. Very likely. It always does. (_Spelling out the words_) “W-a-r in B-a-l-k-a-n-s.” Is that far off? HELENA. Oh, don’t read it. It’s always the same. Always wars! (_Sits on couch._) NANA. What else do you _expect_? Why do you _keep_ selling thousands and thousands of these heathens as soldiers? HELENA. I suppose it can’t be helped, Nana. We can’t know--Domin can’t know what they’re to be used for. When an order comes for them he must just send them. NANA. He shouldn’t make them. (_Reading from newspaper_) “The Robot soldiers spare no-body in the occ-up-ied terr-it-ory. They have ass-ass-ass-inat-ed ov-er sev-en hundred thous-and cit-iz-ens.” Citizens, if you please. HELENA. (_Rises and crosses and takes paper_) It can’t be. Let me see. (_Crossing to NANA_) They have assassinated over seven hundred thousand citizens, evidently at the order of their commander. (_Drops paper; crosses up C._) NANA. (_Spelling out the words from other paper she has picked up from the floor_) “Re-bell-ion in Ma-drid a-gainst the gov-ern-ment. Rob-ot in-fant-ry fires on the crowd. Nine thou-sand killed and wounded.” HELENA. Oh, stop! (_Goes up and looks toward the harbor._) NANA. Here’s something printed in big letters. “Latest news. At Havre the first org-an-iz-a-tion of Rob-ots has been e-stab-lished. Rob-ots work-men, sail-ors and sold-iers have iss-ued a man-i-fest-o to all Rob-ots through-out the world.” I don’t understand that. That’s got no sense. Oh, good gracious, another murder. HELENA. (_Up C._) Take those papers away now. NANA. Wait a bit. Here’s something in still bigger type. “Stat-ist-ics of pop-ul-a-tion.” What’s that? HELENA. (_Coming down to NANA_) Let me see. (_Reads_) “During the past week there has again not been a single birth recorded.” NANA. What’s the meaning of that? (_Drops paper._) HELENA. Nana, no more _people_ are being born. NANA. That’s the end, then? (_Removing spectacles_) We’re done for. HELENA. Don’t talk like that. NANA. No more people are being born. That’s a punishment, that’s a punishment. HELENA. Nana! NANA. (_Standing up_) That’s the end of the world. (_Repeat until off. Picks paper up from floor. She exits L.1._) HELENA. (_Goes up to window_) Oh, Mr. Alquist. (_ALQUIST off L.2._) Will you come here? Oh, come just as you are. You look very nice in your mason’s overalls. (_ALQUIST enters L.2, his hands soiled with lime and brick dust. She goes to end of sofa and meets him C._) Dear Mr. Alquist, it was awfully kind of you, that lovely present. ALQUIST. My hands are soiled. I’ve been _experimenting_ with that new cement. HELENA. Never mind. Please sit down. (_Sits on couch. He sits on her L._) Mr. Alquist, what’s the meaning of _Ultimus_? ALQUIST. The last. Why? HELENA. That’s the name of my new ship. Have you seen it? Do you think we’re off soon--on a trip? ALQUIST. Perhaps _very_ soon. HELENA. All of you with me? ALQUIST. I should like us _all_ to be there. HELENA. What _is_ the matter? ALQUIST. Things are just moving on. HELENA. Dear Mr. Alquist, I know something dreadful has happened. ALQUIST. Has your husband _told_ you anything? HELENA. No. _Nobody_ will tell me anything. But I feel--Is anything the matter? ALQUIST. Not that we’ve heard of yet. HELENA. I feel so nervous. Don’t _you_ ever feel nervous? ALQUIST. Well, I’m an old man, you know. I’ve got old-fashioned ways. And I’m afraid of all this progress, and these new-fangled ideas. HELENA. Like Nana? ALQUIST. Yes, like Nana. Has Nana got a prayer book? HELENA. Yes, a big thick one. ALQUIST. And has it got prayers for various occasions? Against thunderstorms? Against illness? But not against _progress_? HELENA. I don’t think so. ALQUIST. That’s a pity. HELENA. Why, do you mean you’d like to pray? ALQUIST. I _do_ pray. HELENA. How? ALQUIST. Something like this: “Oh, Lord, I thank thee for having given me toil; enlighten Domin and all those who are astray; destroy their work, and aid mankind to return to their labors; let them not suffer harm in soul or body; deliver us from the Robots, and protect Helena. Amen.” HELENA. (_Touches his arm; pats it_) Mr. Alquist, are you a believer? ALQUIST. I don’t know. I’m not quite sure. HELENA. And yet you pray? ALQUIST. That’s better than _worrying_ about it. HELENA. And that’s enough for you? ALQUIST. (_Ironically_) It _has_ to be. HELENA. But if you thought you saw the destruction of mankind coming upon us-- ALQUIST. I _do_ see it. HELENA. You mean mankind will be destroyed? ALQUIST. It’s bound to be unless--unless. HELENA. What? ALQUIST. Nothing. (_Pats her shoulder. Rises_) Goodbye. (_Exits L.2._) HELENA. (_Rises. Calling_) Nana, Nana! (_NANA enters L.1._) Is Radius still there? NANA. (_L.C._) The one who went mad? They haven’t come for him yet. HELENA. Is he still raving? NANA. No. He’s tied up. HELENA. Please bring him here. NANA. What? HELENA. At once, Nana. (_Exits NANA L.1. HELENA to telephone_) Hello, Doctor Gall, please. Oh, good day, Doctor. Yes, it’s Helena. Thanks for your lovely present. Could you come and see me right away? It’s important. Thank you. (_Enter RADIUS L.1; looks at HELENA, then turns head up L. She crosses to him, L.C._) Poor Radius, you’ve caught it too? Now they’ll send you to the stamping mill. Couldn’t you control yourself? Why did it happen? You see, Radius, you are more intelligent than the rest. Doctor Gall took such trouble to make you different. Won’t you speak? RADIUS. (_Looking at her_) Send me to the stamping mill. (_Open and close fists._) HELENA. But I don’t want them to kill you. What was the trouble, Radius? RADIUS. (_Two steps toward her. Opens and closes fists_) I won’t work for you. Put me into the stamping mill. HELENA. Do you hate us? Why? RADIUS. You are not as strong as the Robots. You are not as skillful as the Robots. The Robots can do everything. You only give orders. You do nothing but talk. HELENA. But someone must give orders. RADIUS. I don’t want a master. I know everything for myself. HELENA. Radius! Doctor Gall gave you a better brain than the rest, better than ours. You are the only one of the Robots that understands perfectly. That’s why I had you put into the library, so that you could read everything, understand everything, and then, oh, Radius--I wanted you to show the whole world that the Robots are our equals. That’s what I wanted of you. RADIUS. I don’t want a master. I want to be master over others. HELENA. I’m sure they’d put you in charge of _many_ Robots. You would be a _teacher_ of the Robots. RADIUS. I want to be master over people. (_Head up. Pride._) HELENA. (_Staggering_) You are mad. RADIUS. (_Head down low, crosses toward L.; opens hands_) Then send me to the stamping mill. HELENA. (_Steps to him_) Do you think we’re afraid of you? (_Rushing to desk and writing note._) RADIUS. (_Turns his head uneasily_) What are you going to do? What are you going to do? (_Starts for her._) HELENA. (_Crosses to R. of him_) Radius! (_He cowers. Body sways._) Give this note to Mr. Domin. (_He faces her._) It asks them not to send you to the stamping mill. I’m sorry you hate us so. DR. GALL. (_Enters L.2; goes to C. upstage_) You wanted me? HELENA. (_Backs away_) It’s about Radius, Doctor. He had an attack this morning. He smashed the statues downstairs. DR. GALL. (_Looks at him_) What a pity to _lose_ him. (_At C._) HELENA. Radius isn’t going to be put into the stamping mill. (_Stands to the R. of GALL._) DR. GALL. But every Robot after he has had an attack--it’s a strict order. HELENA. No matter--Radius isn’t going, if I can _prevent_ it. DR. GALL. But I warn you. It’s dangerous. Come here to the window, my good fellow. Let’s have a look. Please give me a needle or a pin. (_Crosses up R. RADIUS follows. HELENA gets a needle from work-basket on table R._) HELENA. What for? DR. GALL. A test. (_HELENA gives him the needle. GALL crosses up to RADIUS, who faces him. Sticks it into his hand and RADIUS gives a violent start._) _Gently, gently._ (_Opens the jacket of RADIUS and puts his ear to his heart_) Radius, you are going into the stamping mill, do you understand? There they’ll kill you-- (_Takes glasses off and cleans them_) --and grind you to powder. (_RADIUS opens hands and fingers._) That’s terribly painful. It will make you scream aloud. (_Opens RADIUS’S eye. RADIUS trembles._)