Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
celebrated place of public resort, and, in spite of wind and weather,
will return in the evening. They always have a band of music on board,
for the amusement of their passengers.”
“Zounds,” said Bob, “they ought to have a smoke-consumer.”
“They had one just now,” replied Tom; “for I apprehend you assisted them
in some degree, though not voluntarily.”
“You are smoking me,” said Bob.
“Never mind, you have only been puffing a cloud.”
“However, as the mist is dispelled,” said Tallyho, “and we have, a clear
sky before us again, let us make use of our senses.”
“To the right you perceive Blackfriars' Bridge, and beyond that the
Southwark Bridge. By the way, we were speaking of the alterations to be
witnessed in a country life. We will now pursue the subject, and suppose
for a moment our two-thousand-years-ago friend, after his visit among
the Swains, inclined to transfer his observations to the Great Town. The
first question would be, How shall I get there? Oh, there are plenty of
night coaches, and day coaches too, Sir. Well, then “fancy him seated in
a night coach, and having supped on the road, on resuming his corner
of the vehicle, he falls into a sound sleep. Guess what must be his
surprise on waking in the morning, to find himself in the bustle and
apparent confusion of the streets of the Metropolis. But how altered!
Wide streets and upright houses, instead of narrow lanes with houses
meeting each other at the tops. Then what elegant shops!--He would
exclaim, rubbing his eyes, 'Why, this is all a dream
“Proceeding from the heat-oppressed brain!”
~73~~ 'It cannot be reality!'--However, he swallows a hasty breakfast,
and sallies out again to look about him. From London Bridge he espies
the one I have just mentioned, the Southwark Bridge.--'What have we
here?'--'Oh, Sir, that is the cast-iron bridge, with three arches,
over the Thames.' He hastens to it, and when upon it, what must be his
astonishment, at the power of the human mind to form, and of the human
body to bring together, such immense pieces of iron? To connect Queen
Street, Cheapside, with the Kent and Surrey Roads by three arches, the
centre of which is 240 feet span, and the side ones 210 feet each, the
arches all composed of cast iron, the piers and abutments of stone.
'Zounds,' he would exclaim, 'if the race of man dwindle in stature, they
grow daily more stupendous in intellect! 'But we will suppose, like
you, with an anxiety to see all that can be seen, he perceives a machine
sailing down the river with astonishing velocity; 'Why, formerly,' said
he, 'wind and tide against a vessel were insurmountable obstacles in its
passage, but now they seem to add to its swiftness; how is this to be
accounted for? '--'Easily enough,' replies a bye-stander; 'Lord
bless you, it's all done by steam. Hot water and smoke do every thing
now-a-days! Why there are a great number of machines, which formerly
required from two to forty or more horses each to put and keep in
motion, entirely worked by the steam arising from boiling water.'--'
Prodigious! Steam do all that! Astonishing!'”
“And truly,” replied Bob, “notwithstanding I have witnessed many
improvements, I confess I am astonished at the various uses to which
this discovery has already been devoted, and the extraordinary powers it
possesses.
“Well, we will pursue the train of thought a little further: Suppose,
perambulating the streets till he is quite tired, and seeing alterations
and changes out of number, he enters a Coffee House, eats a hearty meal,
and taking a glass or two of wine, he falls into a musing train of ideas
of the wonders he has been witnessing, from which he is not disturbed,
till the hoarse voice of a Charley sounds in his ear, 'Past ten o'clock,
and a cloudy night,' at which he hastily starts up, discharges his bill,
and prepares, by buttoning up close and securing his trusty stick, for
(as he would naturally expect) a dull dreary walk. He sallies out thus
equipped, and, to his utter astonishment, finds the streets as busy as
in the middle of the day, and almost as light. He steps up to one of the
lights to ~74~~ examine it--'What can this be? It is not oil, there is
no vessel to contain it; surely this can't be steam also! But what can
it be?'--'Gas, Sir,' says a passenger, who overhears the question, 'Gas;
it is produced from coals set on fire and confined in a furnace, the
subtle vapour from which is conveyed by means of pipes, and, light
applied to it, immediately bursts into a flame.' His astonishment would
now be complete, and if he did sleep after, it would be difficult to
persuade him it was not all a dream.”
“Our wise forefathers knew the worth of land,
And bank'd the Thames out with laborious hand;
From fresh encroachments bound it's restless tide
Within a spacious channel deep and wide.
With equal pains, revers'd, their grandsons make
On the same spot a little inland lake;
Where browsing sheep or grazing cattle fed,
The wondrous waters new dominion spread;
Where rows of houses stood through many a street
Now rows of ships present a little fleet.
Nay, we had made, had Nature not refus'd,
Had Father Thames not begg'd to be excus'd,
A pretty tunnel underneath his bed,
And left him running, grumbling, over head;
Had scratch'd a track out, like a grubbing mole,
Through a long, dark, and damp and dirty hole--
Like rats in sewers, had flounder'd through the mud,
Instead of sailing, duck-like, o'er the flood;
But bubbling springs chok'd up the project deep,
And trickling waters on our folly weep.”
By this time they had crossed the Bridge, and having regained the
curricle, the Hon. Tom Dashall tickled the _tits_ in prime style along
the Strand, in the road to the City. Soon after passing Temple Bar, they
were attracted by a vast concourse of persons surrounding the shop of
Mr. Carlile,{1} from whence upon enquiry they learnt the
1 Perhaps some of the most remarkable occurrences in the
City of London have taken place at the house of Carlile. The
whole family have been tried and convicted of selling
treasonable or seditious works, and are now suffering the
sentence of the law. But, notwithstanding the combined
efforts of a powerful body, the shop is kept open, and it is
more than likely that a greater business is carried on now
than ever. In a recent Number of the Re-publican, published
by him, he makes the following observations:--
“Since my last went to press, we have thought it prudent to
resort to stratagem to defeat the schemes of the Gang, in
taking out every new hand from the shop by a warrant. We
now sell all publications, to suspicious and unsuspicious
customers, through a hole in a part of the shop, where it is
impossible for the purchaser to identify the seller, as
there are always two or three serving in the back ground,
none of whom can be seen or heard, to be identified
individually. These persons are frequently changed, so that
even if the enemy resorted to burglary and house-breaking,
upon the strength of any warrant, the seller of any pamphlet
or pamphlets could not be identified. Where the statue of
Paine stood, we are about to caricature the defeat of Murray
and Sharpe, and make them watch the hole through which the
money and pamphlets pass, without being able to prevent it.
There are fifty stratagems by which I could give full effect
to the sale of my publications, as well as if they were
sold openly, and which would defy prosecution, as the vender
could not be identified. I dislike this mode of doing
business; I like open, fair play; and I now make a
proposition to Stoddart, Clarke, Murray, and Sharp, that I
will do every thing openly, and give them the name of every
individual in my employ from time to time, if they will
confine themselves to the professions they have made through
“Cato,” their scribe, and not arrest until a Grand Jury have
pronounced a true Bill against the individual. If they will
not accept this proposition, they shall arrest no more, and
my business shall go on just the same. I tell them, for
their comfort, that the pamphlets sold daily through the
hole, have doubled the number of those sold openly
heretofore. Public curiosity they have excited, and am
reaping the benefit. They cannot put-me down. I will put
them down. Let the result bear witness. My friend in the
enemy's camp and councils, has my thanks for his valuable
information. He will perceive that all his information and
instructions have been acted upon.”
The previous observations of Mr. Carlile are admirably
elucidated by the following Police Report of one of the
Newspapers:
The Bridge-street Association.--After a cessation of
hostilities for two or three days, Mr. Secretary Murray, and
the forces of the Bridge Street Association under his
command, re-assembled at this Justice-room [Guildhall] on
Saturday.
Mr. Honorary Secretary Sharp was also in attendance, and
remained in the public room with the Yeomen, while the Co-
Secretary was indulged with a private interview with the
Magistrate, Mr. Alderman Birch, in the parlour. Mr. Newman,
the City Solicitor, was also called into council, and
remained iu consultation with Secretary Murray some time;
there was much marching and countermarching in and out of
the office on the part of the Secretary and the Yeomen, but
no public application on the part of the Association was
made to the Alderman, and it was understood that there was
much difficulty in determining the manner of renewing, with
any prospect of success, the attacks upon the inmates of
“The Temple of Reason.”
The difficulty, it seems, arose from the new mode of defence
adopted by the besieged. The little parlour which
adjoins the shop has been converted into a citadel, the
glass partition which separates them is closely blinded, and
the operations carried on in ambush behind it; two of the
squares of glass have been taken out, and in the place of
one of them is erected a box with an aperture for the
receipt of money, over which is an inscription, “Put your
money in here;” and in the other, a contrivance by which the
pamphlet wanted is slid down to the purchaser from the
inside of the citadel. This machinery, however, is used only
for the sale of such works as have already been made the
object of prosecution. The seller is invisible, and the
identification of his person rendered impracticable, unless
the citadel be taken by storm. Little Waddington, heretofore
the Radical standard-bearer, whose own experience has
procured for him an extensive acquaintance with the persons
of officers and informers, has assumed the command, and
conducts the operations in the front shop, where the sale of
such of Carlile's publications as have not as yet come under
the censure of the law, is carried on as usual.
~76~~ officers of the Police had just taken one of the shopmen in
custody, for vending an alleged seditious or treasonable publication,
upon the information of a Yeoman in the pay of the Bridge Street Gang.
The crowd of persons induced our friends to make a little further
enquiry into the cause, who were soon informed, that in consequence of