Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
two gentlemen in the presence of the fair object of their
attack. The principal was immediately introduced as the
son of Sir George ----, a highly respectable Baronet of the
same name, but of a very different character. His manners
were chastened for the occasion, his appearance fashionable,
and his address distinguished by a warmth which the
acknowledged purpose of his visit, that of soliciting the
honor of being permitted to pay his addresses, in some
measure justified. The lady was not displeased: to all
appearance the connexion, which was thus offered to her was
most nattering; the son of a baronet, and one especially who
had expressed himself in a most disinterested manner, was
not to be dismissed without due deliberation; she,
therefore, with becoming frankness, consented to grant
another interview on the ensuing day. The friends were
punctual to the time appointed, and came in the carriage
(_pro tempore_) of the suitor. They were shown into the
drawing-room, and the conversation was mutually pleasing. At
length our hero proposed to the lady to take a short airing
in his carriage. At first she exhibited the usual coyness at
such an invitation from one, to whom she was almost a
stranger; but was ultimately bantered into a consent, and
accordingly dressed for a ride. Having taken her seat
between the two gentlemen, they engaged her on such topics
as they thought most amusing, and the time passed so
agreeably that she scarce knew where she was going, till she
had arrived at Barnet, on the north road. They stopped at
one of the principal inns, and alighting, a slight cold
repast was ordered. The convenient friend shortly after
quitted the apartment to look to the horses, and the _soi-
disant_ son of the Baronet instantly commenced an
assault upon the lady's heart, which it would seem, was but
too well received. He protested that he had long sighed at a
distance, without having the courage to confess his flame;
and, in short, that he could not exist unless she became
his. The lady, whatever might be the feelings of her heart,
laughed at the warmth of his declarations. This only induced
him to become more impetuous; and at last, as a proof of his
sincerity, he proposed, as they were so far on the north
road, that they should order four horses, and set off at
once to Gretna Green. This produced additional merri-ment on
the part of the lady, which, as there was no specific
refusal, was taken for consent; and on the return of the
friend, he received a wink, which instructed him in the
course he was to pursue, and in a moment, four horses were
clapped to the travelling chariot in which they had arrived.
The lady was shortly afterwards handed to her seat, and,
accompanied as before, was whirled off with the utmost
velocity. She had gone thirty miles of the road, however,
before she believed that her lover was really serious. On
alighting at the end of the third stage, reflection came to
her aid, and she began to repent of having suffered herself
to be prevailed on to consent so far to what she still
pretended to believe was but a joke. On our hero quitting
the coom, she represented to his friend the utter
impossibility of proceeding further, and entreated that he
would take means to have her re-conducted to town. The
friend, however, who was too much interested in the success
of a plot so well commenced, endeavoured to dissuade her, by
every argument of which he was master, to go on; but she
positively refused; when, as the last resource, he
determined to work on her fears, and accordingly told her,
that Mr.---- had long spoken of her, in terms of impatient
rapture; that he was a man, unhappily, of a most passionate
temper, and that he had vowed, sooner than he would go back
to London without making her his wife, he would blow out his
brains, for which purpose he was provided with a brace of
pistols, then in his pocket, and double loaded. To this was
added the still more persuasive observation, that he was a
gentleman of family and fortune and figure, to whom no
rational objection could be taken by any woman whose heart
had not been previously engaged. The result was, that the
unfortunate woman, half consenting, half relenting, agreed
to go forward, and on they drove till they arrived full
speed at Gretna Bridge, in Yorkshire. Here a new difficulty
arose; our hero had exhausted his purse, and had not a
shilling left to enable him to complete his journey; his
good genius, however, had not deserted him, and, with that
effrontery for which he is distinguished, he called the
landlord into a private room, told him he was on his way to
Gretna Green with an heiress, again described himself to be
the son of a baronet, and finally requested him to give cash
for a cheque which he proposed drawing on a respectable
banking-house in town, (where, by the bye, he happened to
have no account.) The cause he assigned for his distress was
the suddenness of his flight from town. His appeal
proved successful, and he was furnished with the means of
completing his journey. Again the trio resumed their course,
and in the end reached the quarters of the celebrated
Blacksmith, who was immediately summoned to their presence.
Here another impediment threw them into fresh alarm; the
Blacksmith seeing the style in which they had arrived, and
judging from that circumstance that they were persons of no
mean consequence, refused to rivet their chains under a
douceur of One hundred pounds. This sum it was impossible,
at so short a notice, they could raise; and their hopes
would have been altogether frustrated, had not the eloquence
of our hero once more proved successful. He explained to the
venerable priest that their finances were but slender; and
having assured him of that fact, he induced him to accept of
Five pounds down, and a note of hand for Fifty pounds more.
The Gordian knot was then tied, and Mr. and Mrs.----
having received the congratulations of their friend, who
witnessed the ceremony, returned to Gretna Bridge; where
they agreed to wait a few days, until a remittance for which
the lady, under some plausible excuse, was induced to draw,
had arrived. The necessary sum at length reached their
hands; the bill was dis-charged; the cheque upon which the
cash had been previously advanced, redeemed; and the party
pursued their journey back to the metropolis.
On reaching London, the marriage ceremony was repeated in a
more formal manner, and thus all question of the validity of
the union was set at rest. Our hero had now to render
available the funds of his Lady; and in a morning _tete-a-
tete_ requested some information as to the state of her
fortune? It was a subject, he said, of no great importance
in his estimation, but still he wished to know what she had?
The Lady candidly told him that all she had under her own
control, was £1,100 in the 5 per Cents, and a bond of her
brother's for £2,500 payable on demand. On the very same
day, the disinterested husband was found soliciting several
brokers in the city, to sell out the stock which his wife
had described, but they all declined, unless the lady were
present. This was an objection easily got over; he returned
to his wife, and having assigned some feasible reason for an
immediate want of ready cash, induced her to accompany him
to the market, where the value of the stock was soon
transferred into his pocket.
The friends of the lady had by this time been apprised of
her marriage, and naturally felt anxious to ascertain the
character of the connexion which she had formed. She, of
course, repeated the story told her by her “Lord and
Master;” but inquiry having been made as to its truth, it
was found to be fictitious in all its main features. Her
husband, although of the same name, was not the son of Sir
George, nor was he at all connected with that family; and in
addition to this, it was ascertained that he was, as we have
already described him to be, a gentleman “much better known
than trusted.” It is needless to say that the feelings of
the lady were greatly agitated at these discoveries, and she
did not hesitate to upbraid her husband with his deceitful
conduct. His sensibility, however, was not to be excited
on such an occasion; he coolly told her he knew all she
could say on that subject without putting her to any further
trouble; and, in fine, confirmed all that she had heard to
his prejudice. She had taken him “for better for worse,”
and she must make the best of a bad bargain. The brother
of the lady now interfered; he had an interview with her
husband, and could not suppress the indignation which he
felt in his presence. Our hero had too long been accustomed
to the reverses of the sporting world to be easily ruffled;
he preserved his temper with admirable presence of mind, and
having heard the enraged brother to a conclusion, at last
very coolly replied, that “all he had said might be very
true, but that did not alter the fact that his sister was
his lawful wife; and further, that, as her husband, he held
a bond of his (the brother's) for £12,500, payable on
demand, and of which he requested immediate payment as he
was short of “the ready.” The cold-blooded gravity with
which this demand was made, incensed the brother still
more, and he gave vent to the feelings which were excited in
his breast. Our hero was in no respect thrown off his
guard, and at last, after having heard that the brother, as
well as the lady, whose eyes were now open to his real
character, would be glad to get rid of him on any terms; he
proposed to “do the thing,” what he called “handsomely,” and
with very little qualification suggested, that in order to
settle the business “amicably,” he had no objection to give
up his wife and her brother's bond for £1,000 in addition to
the £1,000 he had already received. Unprincipled as this
offer was, the brother, upon reflection, felt that he was
“in the jaws of the lion,” and therefore, after consultation
with his sister, who was but too happy in escaping from such
a companion, he agreed to the terms proposed. The £1,000
was paid, the bond returned, and a separation mutually
agreed upon without further delay, to the infinite
satisfaction of our hero, who tells the adventure among his
friends with extra-ordinary glee, taking no small credit to
himself for its happy issue. We have suppressed the names of
the parties, for obvious reasons; there are those by whom
they will be immediately recognised. We wish, however,
not to give unnecessary pain to the individuals really
injured; and have only to hope the facts we have detailed
may operate as a sufficient caution to others who may be
placed in similar situations in future.
~135~~ Sir Felix O'Grady was all a-gog to learn from the postillions the
names of the party, but nothing satisfactory could be elicited.