Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
animal was sent from these unknown regions as a present to a certain
great personage in this country, who having a superabundancy of native
bears already prowling about him, was pleased to order the dismission
of this northern stranger, without a pension; and thus it came into the
possession of its present exhibiter!”
~146~~ This irresistible invitation was accepted by several of the
auditory, including the baronet, Dashall, and the Squire, who were
gratified beyond their anticipations, with a sight of the great polar
bear, the desolate inhabitant of a frigid and dismal clime, where
Nature has forbid the vegetative, and stinted the growth of the animal
creation, with the exception of the shaggy wanderer of the desert
and the floundering leviathan of the ocean. The animal was perfectly
tractable; and its exhibition well compensated both for time and
gratuity.
The proprietor, however, in answer to an enquiry apart by Dashall,
acknowledged that his Ursine companion had never been attached to the
household of any great personage; although a northern quadruped of
lesser interest was under the protection of one of the Royal Dukes and
frequently played its mischievous gambols in the environs of Kensington
Palace.{1}
1 The Bear at Kensington Palace. Early on Sunday morn-ing it
was discovered, that a large black bear, sent as a present
to His Royal Highness the Duke of Sussex, had contrived to
break out of his cage, which was placed in a coach-house,
and Bruin, having an inclination to explore these premises,
containing a hand-some new chariot, mounted the foot-board,
and began to play with the tassels; he next ascended the
roof and the box, the covering of which became a prey to his
claws; after enjoying himself as an outside passenger, as
long as he thought proper, he proceeded to examine the
interior of the vehicle, and turning from the box, made his
entre through the front windows into the carriage, which
bore serious marks of his savage curiosity. No one dared to
approach this northern visitor, and in order to prevent
further depredations in his probable rambles, guards were
placed, with fixed bayonets, until some keepers arrived from
a Menagerie, who secured him, after great difficulty, in one
of their strong cages.
CHAPTER X
“Oh the dear pleasures of the velvet plain,
The painted Tablets, deal't and deal't again
Cards, with what rapture, and the polish'd die
The yawning chasm of indolence supply.
Then to the Dance and make the sober moon
Witness of joys that shun the sight of noon.
Blame cynic if you can, quadrille or ball,
The snug close party, or the splendid hall,
“Where night down stooping from her ebon throne
Views constellations brighter than her own.
'Tis innocent and harmless, and refined,
The balm of care, elysium of the mind.”
~147~~ THE rapid succession of novelty in a Life in London where the
scenes like those of a Pantomime are constantly changing
“From grave to gay, from lively to severe,”
scarcely required those attentions which the Hon. Tom Dashall continued
to enjoy on the score of arrangements for the gratification and
information of his cousin. He was ever watchful of opportunities to
furnish new views of Real Life and character to Tallyho, and who never
failed to profit by his observations upon Men and manners: for Tom,
notwithstanding the gaiety of his disposition, was an acute and
discerning companion, who having mingled in all ranks and degrees of
Society, was able to associate himself with the high or the low, as
circumstances might require, and to form tolerably accurate estimates of
those by whom he was surrounded.
It was, therefore, with his usual view to the accomplishment of his
cousin as a votary of Real Life in London, that he had proposed a visit
to a fancy dress Ball at Almack's, and preparations had accordingly been
made between them.
“A Fancy dress Ball,” said Tom, in order to give his cousin an idea
of the entertainment he was to partake, “bears some similitude to a
Masquerade, with two important exceptions: first, Masks are not general;
and second, ~148~~ No practical Jokes are expected or admitted. Dress
however, is left wholly to the taste or inclination of the visitors, and
the amusements consist principally of dancing and cards. The Rooms are
of the most splendid description, and the company generally of the first
order; combining all that is elegant and fashionable in what is termed
the higher ranks of society,--'Tis said
“If once to Almacks you belong,
Like monarchs you can do no wrong.
But banish'd thence on Wednesday night,
By Jove you can do nothing right.
I hear (perhaps the story false is,)
From Almacks, that he never waltzes
With Lady Anne or Lady Biddy,
Twirling till he's in Love, or giddy.
The girl a pigmy, he a giant,
His cravat stiff, her corset pliant.
There, while some jaded couple stops,
The rest go round like humming tops.
Each in the circle with its neighbour
Sharing alternate rest and labour;
While many a gentle chaperon
As the fair Dervises spin on,
Sighs with regret that she was courted,
Ere this new fashion was imported.
Ere the dull minuet step had vanished, .
With jigs and country scrapers banished.
But ---- whose energy relaxes
No more revolves upon his axis,
As sounds of cymbal and of drum
Deep clanging from the orch'tra come,
And round him moves in radiance bright
Some beauteous beaming sattelite.
Nor ventures as the night advances,
On a new partner in French dances,
Nor his high destiny fulfilling
Through all the mazes of quadrilling,
Holds, lest the figure should be hard
Close to his nose a printed card,
Which for their special use invented,
To beaus on entrance is presented.
A strange device one must allow,
But useful as it tells them how
To foot it in their proper places,
Much better than their partners faces.
Mark how the married and the single,
In yon gay groupes delighted mingle:
Midst diamonds blazing, tapers beaming,
Midst Georges, Stars, and Crosses gleaming.
We gaze on beauty, catch the sound
Of music, and of mirth around.
And discord feels her empire ended
At Almacks--or at least suspended.”
“Zounds,” said Dashall, “I am happy to see the Rooms so well attended
this evening, and particularly to find Mr. Maitland and his two lovely
sisters. Do you observe,” continued he, “that Gentleman in Regimentals
on the opposite side?”
“I do, and is he in the Army?” enquired Bob “No,” replied Tom, “that is
only an assumed character for the Evening, but I must introduce you to
them, though the Ladies are considered to be sharp shooters with their
eyes, therefore it will be necessary for you to be on your guard.”
“I've heard that by a single glance
Strange witchery is sometimes done,
And only by a look askance,
Ladies have many a lover won.”
The elegant and tasteful illuminations of the Room, the sprightly sound
of the music by a well selected band, and the gay movements of the well
dressed circles, were attractive in the mind of Tallyho, and alternately
rivetted his attention, while his cousin was as frequently addressed and
congratulated by his friends.
“My Dear Tom,” said Maitland, who was lounging round the Room with his
two sisters, and who seemed to consider himself the rose of the party by
the affected levity of a military character, “I am glad to see
you--'pon Honor--just going to make up a quadrille--know you are a good
dancer--list you in my Corps with Misa Maitland's permission--but can't
be denied 'pon Honor.”
“That is very gallant, truly,” replied a lovely and interesting girl,
his eldest sister. “With my permission, and yet he won't be denied.”
“If Miss Maitland were to command,” said the Hon. Tom Dashall, “denial
were impossible, disobedience were disgrace and dishonor.”--bowing
politely to the Ladies.
“Vastly pretty indeed Mr. Dashall, and to speak the truth I am very glad
to find you here; for you know my brother is but a nobody, except when
he shews himself off in Regimentals:” replied Miss Maitland.
~150~~ “Aye, and we want somebody to talk to,” continued her sister.
“'Pon my word, this is strange ill usage,” said Maitland.-“I shall
desert.”
“Nay,” said Tom, “there is no need of that: but if you do, the ladies
shall not be deserted while I have a hand at their service, and I
believe I may venture to offer additional protection on the part of my
Cousin.”
Bob nodded assent, and assured the party he was proud of the honor
of the introduction; while Maitland eyed him from top to toe, and was
heartily laughed at by his sisters, which not a little mortified him.
“If that's the case,” said he, taking out his quizzing-glass, and
staring each of them in the face in succession, “why I've nothing more
to say upon it, so come along, I am anxious for a dance.” The music
just at the moment striking off, a Quadrille was formed, but the younger
sister having declined dancing, Bob, who had no great inclination
to “trip it on the light fantastic toe,” had a good opportunity of
following her example, and during the dance they amused themselves with
observations on the dresses and manners of the company before them, in
the course of which he discovered that Maitland was something of the
fashionable insipid, and not very high in the general estimation of the
Ladies, and the contrast between the easy and graceful movements of the
Hon. Tom Dashall, with those of Maitland braced up in military uniform,
and dancing with the stiffness of a Halbert, afforded them high
amusement, it brought to Tallyho's recollection a French Dancing Master
in the country, who, upon the occasion of his annual Ball, perceiving a
gentleman and lady in person and figure perfectly contrasted, the latter
being short and stout, and the former tall and thin, addressed the
Gentleman in the following complimentary stile, as well as his broken
English would admit, “Ma dear sare--bien obligé--ah! ma goot sare--you
vill do me the honneur to lead off de next dance--you do dance as de
_Poker_, and your Lady she do dance as de _Butter fierke_”--(meaning
a butter firkin.) The allusions were exactly in point, and the company
within hearing, did not suffer the sarcasm to escape unnoticed. How far
the observations were well timed by the dancing master, or well received
by the loving couple, is not our business here to enquire.
~151~~ Miss Caroline Maitland was about 20 years of age, of a most
prepossessing and engaging form, fond of dress and full of vivacity with
no mean conception of her own wit or captivating powers, her attire
was elegant and shewy, almost approaching to the gaudy, rather than the
selection of refined Taste and Judgment.
Miss Amelia was about 19 with features calculated to make conquest
certain where the attack was not made on hearts of stone, the simple
modesty of her wardrobe seemed rather to indicate the thoughtful and
contemplative mind, rich in its own resources, and requiring no foil to
render conspicuous its real value, her auburn locks parted in the front,
discovered a fine well arched forehead, from under which darted