Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
matter. This was peremptorily refused. The turnkey insisted
upon opening the coffin, and whilst the defendant went to
explain his conduct to Mr. Walter, he did open it, and found
that it contained nothing but earth. It appeared that the
defendant had been applying to the sexton in the course of
the week for a certificate of the burial, but was unable to
succeed, the body not having been buried. Search was then
made for the body, and at length it was traced to Mr.
Brooks's dissecting rooms in Blenheim-street, Marlborough-
street, where it had undergone a partial dissection. The
upper part of the scull had been removed, but replaced.
Several persons identified the body as that of Edward Lee.
It was proved that about ten o'clock in the evening of
Tuesday, the 11th September, a hackney-coach had stopped at
the defendant's house, and the defendant was seen assisting
two men in lifting a large hamper into the carriage, which
then drove off. This was the substance of the case for the
prosecution.
Mr. Adolphus, in an able and ingenious address to the Jury,
contended that the indictment must fail, inasmuch as the
evidence did not satisfy the allegation in the indictment,
that the defendant had sold the body for lucre and gain. Now
there was no proof whatever that it had been sold, which
might have easily been made out, if the fact was so, by
summoning Mr. Brooks, the anatomist. The real fact was, that
the body had been stolen by other persons from the
defendant's house, and the defendant had been driven to the
miserable shifts proved in evidence, in order to conceal the
misfortune, and prevent the loss of his lucrative situation
in the gaol.
No witnesses to facts were called for the defendant; but
several persons gave him a good character for honesty and
industry.
The Jury, under the learned Judge's directions, found the
defendant Guilty.
~192~~ The Squire having perused this appalling account of human
depravity, expressed himself in energetic terms of indignation against
the miscreant, who to the acute miseries of maternal affliction at
the premature loss of a son, and by such a death! could add the bitter
anguish of consigning his cold remains, unseen by any earthly spirit of
sympathy, to the knife of the dissector, in breach of every law moral
and divine! In the warmth of his kindly feelings, the Squire would have
uttered a curse, had he not been prevented by the entrance of his
old friend, Sir Felix O'Grady. The two friends received their quondam
acquaintance with much cordiality. “Cuish la mevchree! exclaimed the
Baronet, shaking heartily the hands of Tom and Bob; “and how have
you done these many long days past?”--This inquiry having been
satisfactorily answered, Sir Felix explained the object of his
visit:--“Aunts of all sorts, or any sort, or no sort at all at all,”
said he, “are cursed bad things, sure enough; as somebody in the play
says.”
This abrupt commencement excited the risible feelings of Dashall and his
Cousin, which were further stimulated by Sir Felix seriously appealing
to their commiseration, under the pressure of misfortune,--“for this
same respectable maiden lady, Mrs. Judith Macgilligan, my venerable aunt
as aforesaid, has recently imported her antiquated piece of virginity
from her native mountains near Belfast, and having had my address
pat enough, the worse luck, the sowl, with an affected anxiety for my
welfare, must take up her residence, while in town, in the same house
with her dutiful nephew, that she may have the opportunity of watching
over him in his erratic pursuits, as she says, with maternal solicitude;
that is, in other words, to spy into all my actions, and bore me
everlastingly with her intolerable company. It was but the blessed
morning of yesterday that she took a fancy to exhibit her beautiful
person at the lounge in Bond-street;--by-the-bye, this same paragon of
perfection has passed her grand climacteric, being on the wrong side
of sixty;--is as thin as a lath and as tall as a May-pole;--speaks an
indescribable language of the mongrel kind, between Irish and Scotch, of
which she is profuse to admiration; and forgetting the antiquity of her
person, prides herself on the antiquity of her ancestry so much, that
she is said to bear a strong resemblance to her grandmother, judging
from the full-length portrait (painted seventy years ago,) of that
worthy progenitor of our family, who was a descendent, lineally,
from O'Brien king of Ulster, that she copies her dress on all public
occasions, to the great amusement and edification of the spectators; and
in these venerable habiliments she promenaded Bond-street, hanging on my
arm;--by the Powers, till I felt ashamed of my precious charge, for all
the world was abroad, and my reverend aunt was the universal magnet of
attraction.”
“Well, and you find yourself comfortable,” said Dashall,--“we have all
of us foibles, and why expect your aunt to be exempted from them?--Have
you any thing in expectance,--is she rich?”
~193~~ “Twenty thousand pounds, twice told,” replied Sir Felix,
“sterling money of Great Britain, in which I have a reversionary
interest.”
“Why then,” said Tallyho, “you cannot do better than contribute all in
your power to her ease and pleasure; and in exercising this commendable
duty, you will gain present satisfaction, and may justly anticipate
future benefit.”
“And,” added Dashall, “if my Cousin or myself can by any means further
your object, in contributing towards the full attainment of your aunt's
amusement while she remains in town, you may command our services.”
“By the powers of fortune,” exclaimed the Baronet, “you have just given
me the opportunity I was wishing for; that is, I had a favour to ask,
but which I could not find courage enough to do, notwithstanding my
native assurance, until now. You must know, then, that on Easter Monday,
the illustrious Judith Macgilligan, descendant lineally from O'Brien
king of Ulster, means to honour the Civic entertainment with her sublime
presence, and grace the Ball at the Mansion-house in a dress resembling
that of her grandmother the princess, worn seventy years ago. Now, my
dear friends, having pledged yourselves to contribute all in your power
towards the pleasure of my venerable aunt, which of you will be her
partner for the evening?”
The pause of a moment was succeeded by a hearty laugh; Tallyho had
no objections to the hand, as a partner at the ball, of Miss Judith
Macgilligan, even should she choose to array herself after the manner
of the princess her grandmother. But Dashall observing that as no masque
balls were given at the Mansion-house, it would be necessary that Miss
Macgilligan should forego her intention of appearing otherwise than
in modern costume. Sir Felix undertook to arrange this point with
his relative, and in the name and on behalf of Squire Tallyho, of
Belville-hall, to engage the distinguished honour of her hand at
the ensuing Mansion-house Ball. This important affair having been
satisfactorily adjusted, it was proposed by Dashall that, as his Cousin
and the Baronet had neither of them ever been present at the Epping Hunt
on Easter Monday, they should form themselves into a triumvirate for the
purpose of enjoying that pleasure on the morrow. The Squire having in
town ~194~~ two hunters from his own stud, embraced the proposition with
the avidity of a true sportsman, and Sir Felix declining the offer of
one of these fleet-footed coursers, it was agreed they should be under
the guidance of Tom and Bob, and that Sir Felix should accompany them,
mounted on his own sober gelding, early in the morning, to the field of
Nimrod, from which they purposed to return to town in sufficient time to
witness other holiday sports, before dressing for the entertainment at
the Mansion-house.
These preliminaries settled, and Sir Felix agreeing to take a pot-luck
dinner with his two friends, the trio resolved on a morning lounge
of observation, and sallying forth, took their way along Piccadilly
accordingly.
Although it was Sunday morning, this street presented, with the
exception of the shops being closed, nearly the same appearance of
bustle as on any other day; the number of pedestrians was not apparently
less, and of equestrians and carriage-occupants, an increase; the two
latter description of the ton, actually or would-be, passing onwards to
the general Sunday rendezvous, Hyde-Park, where Real Life in London is
amusingly diversified; and where may be seen frequently, amongst
the promiscuous promenaders of the Mall, a prince of the blood-royal
undistinguishable by external ornament from any of the most humble in
the moving panorama; while an endless succession of carriages, in which
are seated, what England beyond any other country may proudly boast of,
some of the most beautiful women in the world, present the observer
with an enlivening theme of admiration; and, together with the mounted
exhibiters, from the man of fashion on the “pampered, prancing steed,”
to the youth of hebdomadary emancipation on “the hacked Bucephalus of
Rotten Row,” form an assemblage at once ludicrous and interesting.
Having circumambulated the “Ring,” our triumvirate returned by the gate
in Piccadilly, and crossing from thence to Constitution-hill, Dashall
pointed out to his companions the seat, as now fixed upon (on the
summit of the Green Park) of a Military Pillar, intended to be raised
in commemoration of the many victories achieved by British valour in the
last war. “This plan, if properly carried into effect by the erection
(said Dashall) of a column equal in splendor of execution ~195~~ with
the glory it is meant to record, will be the greatest ornament of the
metropolis.”
“If again,” added the Squire, “it does not prove like some other recent
projections, a Castle in the air!”{1}
1 Tallyho probably alludes to the long meditated Monument in
memory of the late Princess Charlotte, towards the memory of
which a very large sum of money was raised by public
subscription.
Without any other occurrence worthy of remark, the perambulators reached
home, and enjoyed the comfortable quietude of an excellent domestic
dinner, without interruption. Every arrangement having been made for the
amusements of next day, the party broke up, Sir Felix returning to
his lodgings, to gladden the heart of Miss Judith Macgilligan with the
anticipation of conquest; and Dashall and Tallyho retiring to early
repose, that they might encounter the business of the morning with
recruited renovation.--Next day
The feathered songster chanticleer
Had wound his bugle horn,
And told the early villager
The coming of the morn;--
When the Baronet made his appearance “on a milk-white steed,” before the
mansion of Dashall. In a few moments the friendly trio were assembled in
the breakfast-parlour, and partook of a hasty repast while the coursers
from the Belville-stud, destined to perform a prominent part in the
forthcoming adventures of the day, were getting in readiness. The
preparations were soon completed,--the hunters, two noble animals, were
brought to the door,
Each “with neck like a rainbow, erecting his crest,
Paniper'd, prancing and pleas'd, his head touching his breast.”
“Saddle White Surrey for the field to-morrow,”
was the order of Richard,” said the Baronet; “but had he been in
possession of such a horse as either of these, 'White Surrey' might have
gone to the devil.”
“I'll warrant them both, sound, wind and limb, and gentle to boot,”