Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
in 1781; containing portraits of all the principal members of the
Corporation of London at that time. Meanwhile the benches were filling
with the Deputies and Common Councilmen from their several wards. At one
o'clock, the Lord Mayor entered the Court, attended by several Aldermen,
who took their seats around him, and the business of the day commenced.
Among those on the upper seats, Tom gave his Cousin to understand which
were the most popular of the Aldermen, and named in succession Messrs.
Waithman, Wood, Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter, Birch, Flower, and Curtis;
and as their object was not so much to hear the debates as to see the
form and know the characters, he proposed an adjournment from their
present rather uncomfortable situation, where they were obliged to stand
wedged in, by the crowd continually increasing, during which they could
take a few more observations, and he could give some little clue to the
origin and present situations of the persons to whom he had directed his
Cousin's attention. Making the best of their way out of the Court, they
found themselves in an anti-room, surrounded by marshalmen, beadles of
Wards waiting for their Aldermen, and the Lord Mayor's and Sheriffs'
footmen, finding almost as much difficulty to proceed, as they had
before encountered.
~~212~~~ Having struggled through this formidable phalanx of judicial
and state appendages,
“Now,” said Dashall, “we shall be enabled to breathe again at liberty,
and make our observations without fear; for where we have just quitted,
there is scarcely any possibility of making a remark without having it
snapped up by newspaper reporters, and retailers of anecdotes; here,
however, we can indulge _ad libitum_.”
“Yes,” replied Tallyho, “and having seen thus far, I am a little
inquisitive to know more. I have, it is true, at times seen the names
of the parties you pointed out to me in the daily prints, but a sight of
their persons in their official stations excites stronger curiosity.”
“Then,” said Tom, “according to promise I will give you a sort of
brief sketch of some of them. The present Lord Mayor is a very eminent
wholesale stationer, carrying on an extensive trade in Queen-street;
he ought to have filled the chair before this, but some temporary
circumstances relative to his mercantile concerns induced him to give up
his rotation. He has since removed the obstacle, and has been elected
by his fellow-citizens to the high and important office of Chief
Magistrate. I believe he has not signalized himself by any remarkable
circumstance, but he has the character of being a worthy man. Perhaps
there are few in the Court of Aldermen who have obtained more deservedly
the esteem of the Livery of London, than Alderman Waithman, whose
exertions have long been directed to the correction of abuses, and who
represented them as one of their members during the last Parliament,
when he displaced the mighty Alderman Curtis. Waithman is of humble
origin, and has, like many others of Civic notoriety, worked his way
by perseverance and integrity as a linen-draper, to respectable
independence, and the hearts of his fellow-citizens: he has served the
office of Sheriff, and during that time acted with a becoming spirit at
the death of the late Queen, by risking his own life to save others. His
political sentiments are on the opposition side, consequently he is no
favorite with ministers.”
“And if he were,” replied Tallyho, “that would scarcely be considered an
honour.”
“True,” continued Tom, “but then it might lead to profit, as it has done
with many others, though he appears to hold such very light.
~~213~~~ “Alderman Wood has not yet been so fortunate as the celebrated
Whittington, whom you may recollect was thrice Lord Mayor of London; but
he has had the honour to serve that office during two succeeding years:
he is a member of Parliament, and his exertions in behalf of the late
Queen, if they have done him no great deal of good among the higher
powers, are at least honourable to his heart.
“Of Sir Claudius Stephen Hunter there is but little to be said,
except that he has served the office, and been a Colonel of the City
Militia--led off the ball at a Jew's wedding--used to ride a white
charger--and is so passionately fond of military parade, that had
he continued another year in the office, the age of chivalry would
certainly have been revived in the East, and knights-errant and esquires
have completely superseded merchants, traders, and shopkeepers.
“Alderman Birch is an excellent pastry-cook, and that perhaps is the
best thing that can be said of him: he has written some dramatic pieces;
but the pastry is beyond all comparison best of the two, and he needs no
other passport to fame, at least with his fellow-citizens.
“But last, though not least, under our present consideration, comes the
renowned Sir William, a plain bluff John Bull; he is said to be the
son of a presbyterian citizen, and was rigidly educated in his father's
religion. He obtained the alderman's gown, and represented the City in
the year 1790: he is a good natured, and, I believe, a good hearted man
enough, though he has long been a subject for satirical wit. He was Lord
Mayor in 1796: you may recollect what was related of him by the literary
labourer we met with in the Park--anecdotes and caricatures have been
published in abundance upon him: he may, however, be considered in
various points of view--as an alderman and a biscuit baker--as a
fisherman “--
“How!” cried Tallyho!
“Why, as a fisherman, he is the Polyphemus of his time.
“His rod was made out of the strongest oak,
His line a cable which no storm e'er broke,
His hook was baited with a dragon's tail,
He sat upon a rock and bobb'd for a whale.”
“Besides which,” continued Dashall, “he is a great sailor; has a yacht
of his own, and generally accompanies
~~214~~~ Royalty on aquatic excursions. I remember a laughable
caricature, exhibiting the alderman in his own vessel, with a turtle
suspended on a pole, with the following lines, in imitation of
Black-eyed Susan, said to be written by Mr. Jekyll:--
“All in the Downs the fleet lay moor'd,
The streamers waving in the wind,
When Castlereagh appeared on board,
'Ah where shall I my Curtis find.
Tell me ye jovial sailors, tell me true,
Does my fat William sail among your crew.'”
He is a banker, a loan-monger, and a contractor, a member of Parliament,
and an orator; added to which, he may be said to be a man of wit
and humour--at all events he is the cause of it in others. His first
occupations have procured him great wealth, and his wit and humour great
fame.
“The worthy Alderman's hospitality to the late good humoured and
gossiping James Boswell, the humble follower and biographer of Dr.
Johnson, is well known; and it is probable that the pleasures of the
table, in which no man more joyously engaged, shortened his life. To
write the life of a great man is no easy task, and to write that of a
big one may be no less arduous. Whether the Alderman really expected to
be held up to future fame by the Biographer of Johnson, cannot be
very easily ascertained; however that wish and expectation, if it ever
existed, was completely frustrated by the death of poor Boswell.
“I recollect to have seen some lines of the worthy Alderman, on the
glorious victory of the Nile, which shew at once his patriotism, his
wit, and his resolution, in that he is not to be laughed out of the
memorable toast he once gave--
“Great Nelson, in the grandest stile,
Bore down upon the shores of Nile,
And there obtained a famous victory,
Which puzzled much the French Directory.
The impudence of them there fellows,
As all the newspapers do tell us,
Had put the grand Turk in a pet,
Which caus'd him send to Nelson an aigrette;
Likewise a grand pelisse, a noble boon--
Then let us hope--a speedy peace and soon.”{1}
1 Whether the following lines are from the same hand or not,
we are unable to ascertain; at least they wear a great
similarity of character:
I give you the three glorious C's.
Our Church, Constitution, and King;
Then fill up three bumpers to three noble Vs.
Wine, Women, and Whale fish-ing.
~~215~~~ “Egad,” said Bob, “if this be true, he appears to knock up
rhymes almost as well as he could bake biscuits” (smothering a laugh.)
“Why,” replied Dashall, “I believe that it has not been positively
ascertained that these lines, which unlike other poetry, contain no
fiction, but plain and undeniable matter of fact, were wholly indicated
by the worthy Alderman; indeed it is not impossible but that his
worship's barber might have had a hand in their composition. It would
be hard indeed, if in his operations upon the Alderman's pericranium,
he should not have absorbed some of the effluvia of the wit and genius
contained therein; and in justice to this operator on his chin and
caput, I ought to give you a specimen which was produced by him upon the
election of his Lordship to the Mayoralty--
“Our present Mayor is William Curtis,
A man of weight and that your sort is.”
“This epigrammatic distich, which cannot be said to be destitute of
point, upon being read at table, received, as it deserved, a large share
of commendation; and his Lordship declared to the company present, that
it had not taken his barber above three hours to produce it extempore.”
Tallyho laughed heartily at these satirical touches upon the poor
Alderman.
“However,” continued Tom, “a man with plenty of money can bear laughing
at, and sometimes laughs at himself, though I suspect he will hardly
laugh or produce a laugh in others, by what he stated in his seat in
the House of Commons, on the subject of the riots{1} at Knightsbridge.
I suspect his wit and good humour will hardly protect him in that
instance.”
1 On a motion made by Mr. Favell in the Court of Common
Council, on the 21st of March, the following resolution was
passed, indicative of the opinion that Court entertained of
the conduct of Alderman Curtis on the occasion here alluded
to:
“That Sir William Curtis, Bart, having acknowledged in his
place in this Court, that a certain speech now read was
delivered by him in the House of Commons, in which, among
other matters which he stated respecting the late riot at
Knightsbridge, he said, 'That he had been anxious that a
Committee should investigate this question, because he
wished to let the world know the real character of this
Great Common Council, who were always meddling with matters
which they had nothing to do with, and which were far above
their wisdom and energy. It was from such principles they
had engaged in the recent inquiry, which he would contend
they had no right to enter upon. Not only was evidence
selected, but questions were put to draw such answers as the
party putting them desired.'
“That the conduct of Sir William Curtis, one of the repre-
sentatives of this City in Parliament, lias justly merited
the censure and indignation of this Court and of his fellow
Citizens.”
~~216~~~ After taking a cursory look into the Chamberlain's Office, the
Court of King's Bench and Common Pleas, they took their departure from
Guildhall, very well satisfied with their morning's excursion.
It was between three and four o'clock when our friends left the Hall.
Tom Dashalt, being upon the qui vive, determined to give his Cousin a