Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
greater share in the transaction; we will therefore leave
our readers to judge:--as to the statement of the fact, it
is impossible we can err, as we were concerned for the
defendants, and the case, singular as it is, was literally
and accurately thus:--One of those unfortunate females who
contribute to the existence of a miscreant crew of bawds,
milliners, hair-dressers, tally-women, and many other
reptiles of the same class, was arrested for ten pounds, at
the house of the celebrated, or, more properly speaking,
the notorious, Mrs. Johnson, of Jermyn-street:--the
attorney accompanied the officer; and it happened that a
young gentleman connected with a banking-house of great
respectability was present, whom the attorney directed to
take in a bail bond, with the lady-abbess herself; but as
they were not sufficiently responsible, ten more of the
cyprian tribe, all nuns of the same convent, were likewise
required to execute this bond; of course they complied.
The attorney, after having made the parties acquainted
with the great favour he had shewn them, and the vast
responsibility he had taken upon himself, required no more
than two guineas for the officer and himself; telling them
he would give them information when any thing further was to
be done; instead of which he took an assignment, sued out
process, prepared declarations, and served the parties.
The gentleman, rather alarmed at the idea of the
circumstance being known, desired us to pay the debt and
costs: for that purpose we applied to the attorney, and to
our astonishment we were informed that the costs amounted to
Thirty Pounds! for that there were twelve defendants. The
reader cannot suppose that any thing further could pass upon
such a preposterous subject, than giving notice of an
application to the court, to set aside the proceedings. On
our return home we found eleven of the defendants,
consisting of the old brood hen and her chickens, each with
a copy of the process in her hand. The business now most
certainly put on the appearance of some costs. We again
applied to the attorney, and, by way of cutting it short,
offered him five pounds; but he, like many others who rely
on the integrity and propriety of their practice, disdained
a compromise, or abridgement of his lawful fees, and he was
hardy enough to suffer the application. It is almost
needless to say, the proceedings were set aside. We have
forebome to mention the name of the attorney, on account of
the misery in which this dreadful transaction has involved
him, a misery which amply atones for his offences, and
deprives him of the power of ever offending again as an
attorney. Far be it from us then to sink him deeper in the
gulph of wretchedness: we kick not the dead lion; it is
athletic triumphant villany against which we wage war.
~~202~~~ By this time they were arrived in Piccadilly, where they sat
down to a cheerful refreshment, and proceeded to make arrangements
for Merry well's departure: previous to this, however, Dashall and his
Cousin had an engagement to keep with their Hibernian friends, of which
particulars will appear in the next Chapter.
CHAPTER XX
All hail to the day of the tutelar Saint,
Old George, not the King, but the Prince of brave fellows,
And Champion of England, by Providence sent
To slay a fierce Dragon as histories tell us!
And hail to the King of the first Isle on Earth,
His fame with St. George and the Dragon who blending,
Has chosen to celebrate this as his birth,
The day of all others, good fortune portending.
Away then with Care, let us haste to the Park,
Where Buckingham-house will exhibit a levy
Resplendent in rank, youth and beauty;--and hark!
Hoarse cannon announce both the birth-day and Levee.
Reverberate then, in each sea-port the roar!
And wave England's Standard on high, from each steeple,
And skip from the oiling, each ship, to the shore,
And joyfully dance on dry land with the people!{1}
1 That we may not be accused of plagiarism, we acknowledge
ourselves indebted for the hyperbole contained in the last
two lines of these introductory stanzas, to an original
recommendation for a proper display of rapture, as
contained in the following couplet by one Peter Ker, wherein
he very humanely invites all the vessels belonging to Great
Britain to strand themselves out of joy for the accession of
James I.
“Let subjects sing, bells ring, and cannons roar,
And every ship come dancing to the shore.”
The morning of St. George's Day was ushered in, as the
appointed anniversary of his Majesty's birth, by all the
church-bells of the metropolis, the waving of the royal
standard from the steeples, the display of the colours of
all nations by the vessels in the Thames, and Cumberland
mentions in his Memoirs, that when his father the Bishop
revisited his estate in Ireland, an affectionate rustic hit
upon an ingenious mode of shewing his happiness, by leaping
from a tree, and breaking his leg! We do not find that any
of his Majesty's loving subjects in the Park on St. George's
Day followed the example of the Irish rustic!
Other manifestations of affection by a grateful people to the best of
Sovereigns!--
“The sky was overcast, the morning lower'd,
And heavily in clouds brought on the day.”
~~264~~~ But despite of wind or wet, female curiosity must be gratified.
Miss Judith Macgilligan had some time previous to this auspicious
day, expressed a desire to witness the gay and brilliant assemblage
of company in progress to the Levee, and Tom and Bob having gallantly
volunteered their services on this important occasion, they now sallied
forth, just as the Park and Tower guns were thundering the announcement
of festivity, and joining Sir Felix O'Grady and his aunt at their
lodgings, the party immediately moved onward to the scene of action.
Already had Royalty taken wing, and dignified with his presence the late
maternal Palace, before our pedestrians reached the Park, to the great
disappointment of Miss Macgilligan, who however consoled herself with
the hope of being able to obtain a glimpse of monarchy as his Majesty
passed on his return to Carlton-house.
The Baronet in the meanwhile was in a reverie, which at last broke out
in the following rhapsody:--
Oh! blest occasion of dispensing good,
How seldom used, how little understood!--
To nurse with tender care the thriving arts,
Watch every beam philosophy imparts:
To give religion her unbridled scope,
Nor judge by statute a believer's hope;
With close fidelity and love unfeign'd,
To keep the matrimonial bond unstain'd;
Covetous only of a virtuous praise,
His life a lesson to the land he sways.
Blest country where these kingly glories shine!
Blest England, if this happiness be thine!
But,--
If smiling peeresses, and simp'ring peers,
Encompassing his throne a few short years;
If the gilt carriage and the pamper'd steed,
That wants no driving and disdains the lead;
If guards, mechanically form'd in ranks,
Playing at beat of drum their martial pranks,
Should'ring, and standing as if stuck to stone,
While condescending majesty looks on;--
If monarchy consists in such base things,
Sighing, I say again, I pity Kings.
~~265~~~ An immense number of splendid carriages now presented
themselves to view, in continued and uninterrupted succession,
stretching from the Horse Guards the whole length of the Mall, to
Buckingham-house, where each setting down, and thence taking up a
position in the Bird-cage Walk, they formed a circle of nearly two
miles, and exhibited, in the magnificence of the vehicles, the admirable
symmetry of the horses, and rich liveries of the attendants, a scene of
interest, matchless perhaps by any other metropolis in the universe.
Skirting the indeterminable line of carriages, that slowly and under
frequent stoppages proceeded to the goal of attraction, our party
penetrated at last the dense mass of spectators, and gaining
a favourable post of observation, took a position adjacent to
Buckingham-house, where the band of music of the Foot Guards within,
and that of the Horse Guards without the iron-railing circumscribing the
palace, alternately enlivened the scene with “concord of sweet sounds.”
But the great and general object of attention, was that of female
loveliness, occupying almost every passing vehicle. Dashall remarked,
that he had never before been gratified with such an extensive and
captivating display. Sir Felix and the Squire were in raptures, and even
the primitive austerity of Miss Macgilligan yielded to the influence of
beauty, and acknowledging its predominancy, she at same time observed,
that its fascination was enhanced by the dress of the ladies, which,
though splendid, exhibited genuine taste, and was more remarkable for
its uniform adherence to modesty than she had hitherto seen it on any
similar occasion.{1}
1 We are not fastidious, neither would we wish the charms of
youth and beauty inaccessible to admiration; but certainly
the dress, or rather undress of our fair countrywomen, has
of late years bordered closely on nudity.--Female delicacy
is powerfully attractive; we were glad to observe its
predominancy at the last Levee, and we trust that it will
gain universal prevalence.--Edit.
~~266~~~ Dashall, whose place would more properly have been in the
circle within the palace than amongst the spectators without, was
frequently saluted by the passing company; and when the fair hand
of beauty waved gracefully towards him, Sir Felix felt happy in
the friendship and society of a gentleman thus honoured with such
distinguished recognition, and in the warmth of his feelings exclaimed
aloud, that, “by the immortal powers, were he King of England, he would
be more proud of the irradiating charms of these celestial visiters,
than in the diadem of royalty and extension of empire!” This remark was
universally acquiesced in, and most cordially so by a group of lively
girls, to whom it had apparently given much pleasure; one of whom
thanked the Baronet in the name of the sex, and complimented him on his
gallantry, which she said was truly characteristic of his country.
To Sir Felix an encomium from a fair lady was ever irresistible.
He bowed, expressed a commensurate feeling of gratitude for the honour
conferred upon him, and professed himself an ardent admirer of the whole
of women kind; concluding by humming a stanza from Burns,--
“Auld Nature swears the lovely dears
Her noblest work she classes, O;
Her 'prentice han' she tried on man,
And then she made the lasses, O.”
Unluckily for the apophthegm of the Baronet, it so happened, that a
quarrel took place in the immediate vicinity and hearing of the party,
between two rival female fruiterers of the Emerald Isle; during which
incivilities were exchanged in language not altogether acceptable to the
auricular organs of delicacy. The brogue was that of Munster,--the