Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
of benevolence,--“And is it for letting the carriage block up the
cross-way, and forcing me through the mud,” asked the Baronet;--” but
whether or not, I have not got any halfpence about me, so that I must
pay you when I come again.”--“Ah! your honour,” exclaimed the man, “it
is unknown the credit I give in this way.” Sir Felix thrust his hand
into his pocket, and rewarded the applicant with a tester.
~~327~~~ Proceeding along Piccadilly, our party were followed by
a Newfoundland dog, which circumstance attracted the notice of the
Baronet, to whom more than to either of his associates the animal seemed
to attach itself. Pleased with its attention, Sir Felix caressed it, and
when the triumvirate entered a neighbouring coffee-house, the dog was
permitted to accompany them. Scarcely had the three friends seated
themselves, when a man of decent appearance came into the room, and,
without ceremony, accused the Baronet of having, by surreptitious means,
obtained possession of his property; in other words, of having inveigled
away his dog; and demanding instant restitution.
Sir Felix fired at the accusation, divested as it was of the shadow of
truth, yet unsuspicious of design, would have instantly relinquished his
canine acquaintance, but for the interposition of Dashall, who suspected
this intrusive personage to be neither more nor less than a dog-stealer,
of whom there are many in London continually on the alert for booty.
These fellows pick up all stray dogs, carry them home, and detain them
until such time as they are advertised, and a commensurate reward is
offered by the respective owners. If, then, the dog is intrinsically
of no value, and consequently unsaleable, the adept in this species of
depredation, finding he can do no better, takes the dog home,
receives the promised reward, and generally an additional gratuity in
compensation of keep and trouble; but, should it so happen, that the
proffered remuneration is not equivalent to the worth of the animal, the
conscientious professor of knavery carries his goods to a more lucrative
market. At the instance of Dashall, therefore, Sir Felix was determined
to retain the animal until the claimant brought irrefragable proof
of ownership. The fellow blustered,--the Baronet was immovable in his
resolution;--when the other threw off all disguise, and exhibiting
himself in pristine blackguardism, inundated Sir Felix with a torrent
of abuse; who disdaining any minor notice of his scurrility, seized the
fellow, with one hand by the cape of his coat, with the other by the
waistband of his breeches, and bearing him to the door, as he would any
other noxious animal, fairly pitched him head foremost into the street,
to the manifest surprise and dismay of the passengers, to whom he told a
“pitiable tale,” when one of the crowd pronounced him to be a notorious
dog-stealer, and the fellow, immediately on this recognition, made a
precipitate retreat. ~~328~~~ “I am glad,” said Dashall to his friends,
who had witnessed the result of this affair from one of the windows of
the coffee-room, “that our canine acquaintance (patting the animal
at the same time) is now clearly exonerated from any participation of
knavery. I had my suspicions that he was a well-disciplined associate
in iniquity, taught to follow any person whom his pretended owner might
point at, as a fit object of prey.”
The Baronet and the Squire, particularly the latter, had heard much of
the “Frauds of London,” but neither of them was aware that metropolitan
roguery was carried on and accelerated through the medium of canine
agency.
In confirmation of this fact, however, Dashall mentioned two
circumstances, both of which had occurred within these few years back,
the one of a man who, in different parts of the suburbs, used to secrete
himself behind a hedge, and when a lady came in view, his dog would go
forth to rob her; the reticule was the object of plunder, which the dog
seldom failed to get possession of, when he would instantly carry the
spoil to his master. The other case was that of a person who had trained
his dog to depredations in Whitechapel-market. This sly thief would
reconnoitre the butcher's stalls, particularly on a Saturday night
amidst the hurry of business, and carry off whatever piece of meat was
most conveniently tangible, and take it home with all possible caution
and celerity. We have heard of their answering questions, playing
cards, and casting accompts,--in fact, their instinctive sagacity has
frequently the appearance of reasoning faculties; they even now are
competent to extraordinary performances, and what further wonders the
ingenuity of man may teach them to accomplish, remains hereafter to be
ascertained.{1}
1 The following anecdote is particularly illustrative of
canine sagacity. It shews that the dog is sensible of
unmerited injury, and will revenge it accordingly; it
exhibits the dog also, as a reflective animal, and proves
that, though he has not the gift of speech, he is yet
endowed with the power of making himself understood by his
own species. Some years ago, the traveller of a mercantile
house in London, journeying into Cornwall, was followed by
his favourite dog, to Exeter; where the traveller left him,
in charge of the landlord of the Inn, until his return. The
animal was placed in an inner yard, which, for sometime
back, had been in the sole occupation of the house-dog; and
the latter, considering the new comer an intruder, did not
fail to give the poor stranger many biting taunts
accordingly. Deserted, scorned, insulted and ill-treated,
the poor animal availed himself of the first opportunity,
and escaped. The landlord scoured the country in quest of
the fugitive, without effect. After the lapse of a few days,
the traveller's dog returned to the Inn, accompanied by two
others, and the triumvirate entering the yard, proceeded to
execute summary vengeance on the house-dog, and drove him
howling from his territories. The two dogs were from
London,--
“Their locket letter'd braw-brass collars,
Shew'd they were gentlemen and scholars.”
Hence it appears, that the traveller's dog went to London,
told his grievance to his two friends, and brought them to
Exeter to avenge his cause!
~~329~~~ Emerging from the coffee-house, companied by their newly
acquired canine friend, our observers proceeded along Piccadilly, when
reaching its extremity, and turning into the Park by Constitution-hill,
they were met by the servant, Thady.
“Your honour,” said the valet, “haven't I been after soaking you, here
and there, and every where, and no where at all, at all, vrid this
letter, bad luck to it, becays of the trouble it may give you; and
indeed I was sent after your honour by Miss Macgilligan;--there's ill
luck at home, your honour.”
“Then I shall not make any haste,” said Sir Felix, “to meet such a
guest.”
He then read aloud the ominous epistle:--
“My dear Nephew.--A vexatious affair has occurred.--I shall be glad to
see you, as soon as possible.--J. M.”
“Perhaps you can oblige us with the history,” said the Baronet, “of this
same 'vexatious affair;' but observe me, let it be an abridgement,--Miss
Macgilligan will favour us with it in detail.”
“Why then, your honour,” said the valet, “you had not gone out many
minutes, when there came a _rit-tat_ to the door, and a gintail
good-looking gentleman inquired for Mr. A----a. Begging your pardon,
says I, if it is my master vou mane, he does not belong to the family
of the Misters at all; his name is Sir Felix O'Grady, of the province of
Munster, Baronet, and I am his valet; long life and good luck to both of
us!”
~~330~~~ “This is rather a tedious commencement,” observed Sir Felix to
his marvelling associates,--“but I believe we must let the fellow tell
the story in his own way.--Well, Tliady, what next?”
“So, your Honour, he inquired whether he could spaak wid you, and I told
him that it was rather doubtful, becays you were not at home; but, says
I, Miss Judy Macgilligan, his Honour's reverend aunt, is now in
her dressing-room, and no doubt will be proud in the honour of your
acquaintance.”
“My 'reverend aunt' certainly ought to feel herself very much obliged to
you.--Well, Sir!”
“And so, your Honour, the maid went for instructions, and Miss
Macgilligan desired that the gentleman should be shewn into the
drawing-room, until she could make her appearance. Well, then, after
waiting some little time, he rings the bell, with the assurance of a
man of quality, just as if he had been at home. So up stairs I goes, and
meets him in the hall. 'Pray,' says he, 'have the goodness to present my
best respects to the lady; I will not obtrude upon her at present, but
shall call again tomorrow,' and away he walked; and that's all, your
Honour.” “That's all! What am I to understand then by the 'vexatious
affair' my aunt speaks of?”
“O,” exclaimed Thady, recollecting himself,--“may be she manes her gold
watch, which the gentleman discovered in the drawing-room, and carried
away in his pocket, by mistake!”
“Very well, Sir,” said the Baronet; “now that we have «orne to the
finis, you may go home.”
It is evident the gentleman had availed himself of the Baronet's absence
from home, and that the information derived from the communicative valet
encouraged the hope of success which he so adroitly realized.
Dashall and his Cousin were about sympathizing with the Baronet on this
new misfortune, when he gave vent to bis feelings by an immoderate fit
of laughter!--“Miss Macgilligan has had the benefit of a practical
lesson,” he exclaimed, “which she cannot fail to remember;--her vanity
would not permit her seeing the stranger until the frivolities of
the toilet were adjusted, and thus he made the most of a golden
opportunity.”
~~331~~~ The three friends now retraced their steps along Piccadilly,
until they arrived at the residence of Dashall, when they separated; the
Baronet to condole with Miss Macgilligan, and the two Cousins to dress,
preparatory to their dining with an eminent merchant in the city.
Leaving then, for the present, Sir Felix and his aunt to their own
family cogitations, we shall accompany the Hon. Tom Dashall and the
Squire of Belville-hall on their civic expedition.
The wealthy citizen at whose table they were now entertained, rose, like
many others, the children of industry, from comparative indigence to
affluence, and from obscurity to eminence.
The party was select; the dinner was sumptuous, yet unostentatious; and
the conversation, if not exactly in the first class of refinement, was
to the two strangers interestingly instructive, as embracing topics of
mercantile pursuit with which they had hitherto been unacquainted. It
was also highly enlivened by the sprightly sallies of three beautiful
and elegantly accomplished young ladies, the daughters of the amiable
host and hostess; and to these fair magnets of attraction, whom Dashall
happily denominated the Graces, our gallant cavaliers were particularly
assiduous in their attentions. The party broke up, after an evening of
reciprocal enjoyment; and Dashall on the way home expressed his belief
that, with the solitary exception of one colossal instance of ignorance
and brutality, “the very respectable man” in society is most generally
to be found among the merchants of London.{1}
1 “The very respectable. Man” is the true representative of
the commercial character of Great Britain. He possesses more
information than the Dutch trader, and more refinement than
the Scotch manufacturer, with all the business