Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
4 The Lay--Upon the look-out for opportunities for the
exercise of their profession.
5 Flash Molishers--a term given to low Prostitutes.
~150~~said a tall man standing near them, “or b---- me if I don't mill
you.”
“You mill me, vhy you don't know how to go about it, Mr. Bully Brag, and
I doesn't care half a farden for you--you go for to say as how I--”
“Take that, then,” said the other, and gave him a floorer; but he was
prevented from falling by those around him.
The salute was returned in good earnest, and a random sort of fight
ensued. The accompaniments of this exhibition were the shrieks of the
women, and the shouts of the partisans of each of the Bruisers--the
cries of “Go it, little one--stick to it--tip it him--sarve him
out--ring, ring--give 'em room--foul, foul--fair, fair,” &c.” At this
moment the Firemen, who had been actively engaged in endeavours to
subdue the devouring flames, obtained a supply of water: the engines
were set to work, and the Foreman directed the pipe so as to throw the
water completely into the mob which had collected round them. This had
the desired effect of putting an end to the squabble, and dispersing
a large portion of the multitude, at least to some distance, so as to
leave good and sufficient room for their operations.
“The Devil take it,” cried Sparkle, “I am drench'd.”
“Ditto repeated,” said Tom.
“Curse the fellow,” cried Bob, “I am sopp'd.”
“Never mind,” continued Tom,
. . . “By fellowship in woe,
Scarce half our pain we know.”
“Since we are all in it, there is no laughing allowed.”
In a short time, the water flowed through the street in torrents; the
pumping of the engines, and the calls of the Firemen, were all
the noises that could be heard, except now and then the arrival of
additional assistance.
Bob watched minutely the skill and activity of those robust and hardy
men, who were seen in all directions upon the tops of houses, &c. near
the calamitous scene, giving information to those below; and he was
astonished to see the rapidity with which they effected their object.
Having ascertained as far as they could the extent of the damage,
and that no lives were lost, Tom proposed a move, and Sparkle gladly
seconded the motion--“for,” said he, “I am so wet, though I cannot
complain of being ~151~~cold, that I think I resemble the fat man who
seemed something like two single gentlemen roll'd into one,' and 'who
after half a year's baking declared he had been so cursed hot, he was
sure he'd caught cold;' so come along.”
“Past twelve o'clock,” said a Charley, about three parts sprung, and
who appeared to have more light in his head than he could shew from his
lantern.
“Stop thief, stop thief,” was vociferated behind them; and the night
music, the rattles, were in immediate use in several quarters--a rush of
the crowd almost knock'd Bob off his pins, and he would certainly have
fell to the ground, but his nob{l} came with so much force against the
bread-basket{2} of the groggy guardian of the night, that he was turn'd
keel upwards,{3} and rolled with his lantern, staff, and rattle, into
the overflowing kennel; a circumstance which perhaps had really no
bad effect, for in all probability it brought the sober senses of the
Charley a little more into action than the juice of the juniper had
previously allowed. He was dragged from his birth, and his coat, which
was of the blanket kind, brought with it a plentiful supply of the
moistening fluid, being literally sous'd from head to foot.
Bob fished for the _darkey_{4}--the _musical instrument_{5}--and the
post of honour, alias the _supporter of peace_;{6} but he was not yet
complete, for he had dropped his _canister-cap_,{7} which was at length
found by a flash molisher, and drawn from the pool, full of water, who
appeared to know him, and swore he was one of the best fellows on any of
the beats round about; and that they had got hold of a Fire-prigger,{8}
and bundled{9} him off to St. Giles's watch-house, because he was
bolting with a _bag of togs_.
1 Nob--The head.
2 Bread-basket--The stomach.
3 Keel upwards--Originally a sea phrase, and most in use
among sailors, &c.
4 Darkey--Generally made use of to signify a dark lantern.
5 Musical instrument--a rattle.
6 Post of honour, or supporter of his peace--Stick, or
cudgel.
7 “Canister-cap--& hat.
8 Fire-prigger--No beast of prey can be more noxious to
society or destitute of feeling than those who plunder the
unfortunate sufferers under that dreadful and destructive
calamity, fire. The tiger who leaps on the unguarded
passenger will fly from the fire, and the traveller shall be
protected by it; while these wretches, who attend on fires,
and rob the unfortunate sufferers under pretence of
coming to give assistance, and assuming the style and manner
of neighbours, take advantage of distress and confusion.
Such wretches have a more eminent claim to the detestation
of society, than almost any other of those who prey upon it.
9 Bundled--Took, or conveyed.
~152~~The feeble old scout shook his dripping wardrobe, d----d the
water and the boosy kid that wallof'd him into it, but without appearing
to know which was him; till Bob stepped up, and passing some silver into
his mawley, told him he hoped he was not hurt. And our party then, moved
on in the direction for Russel-street, Covent-garden, when Sparkle again
mentioned his wet condition, and particularly recommended a glass of
Cogniac by way of preventive from taking cold. “A good motion well made
(said Tom;) and here we are just by the Harp, where we can be fitted to
a shaving; so come along.”
Having taken this, as Sparkle observed, very necessary precaution,
they pursued their way towards Piccadilly, taking their route under the
Piazzas of Covent-garden, and thence up James-street into Long-acre,
where they were amused by a circumstance of no very uncommon kind in
London, but perfectly new to Tallyho. Two Charleys had in close custody
a sturdy young man (who was surrounded by several others,) and was
taking him to the neighbouring watch-house “What is the matter?” said
Tom.
“Oh, 'tis only a little bit of a dead body-snatcher,” said one of the
guardians. “He has been up to the resurrection rig.{1} Here,” continued
he, “I've got the bone-basket,”
1 Resurrection rig--This subject, though a grave one, has
been treated by many with a degree of comicality calculated
to excite considerable risibility. A late well known
humorist has related the following anecdote:
Some young men, who had been out upon the spree, returning
home pretty well primed after drinking plentifully, found
themselves so dry as they passed a public house where they
were well known, they could not resist the desire they had
of calling on their old friend, and taking a glass of brandy
with him by way of finish, as they termed it; and finding
the door open, though it was late, were tempted to walk in.
But their old friend was out of temper. “What is the
matter?”--“Matter enough,” replied Boniface; “here have I
got an old fool of a fellow occupying my parlour dead drunk,
and what the devil to do with him I don't know. He can
neither walk nor speak.”
“Oh,” said one of the party, who knew that a resurrection
Doctor resided in the next street, “I'll remove that
nuisance, if that's all you have to complain of; only lend
me a sack, and I'll sell him.”
A sack was produced, and the Bacchanalian, who
almost appeared void of animation, was without much
difficulty thrust into it. “Give me a lift,” said the
frolicsome blade, and away he went with the load. On
arriving at the doctor's door, he pulled the night bell,
when the Assistant made his appearance, not un-accustomed to
this sort of nocturnal visitant.
~153~~holding up a bag, “and it was taken off his shoulder as he went
along Mercer-street, so he can't say nothing at all.
“I have brought you a subject--all right.”
“Come in. What is it, a man or a woman?”
“A man.”
“Down with him--that corner. D----n it, I was fast asleep.
“Call for the sack in the morning, will you, for I want to get to bed.”
“With all my heart.”
Then going to a drawer, and bringing the customary fee, “Here, (said he)
be quick and be off.” This was exactly what the other wanted; and having
secured the rubbish,{1} the door was shut upon him. This, however,
was no sooner done, than the Boosy Kid in the sack, feeling a sudden
internal turn of the contents of his stomach, which brought with it a
heaving, fell, from the upright situation in which he had been placed,
on the floor. This so alarmed the young Doctor, that he ran with all
speed after the vender, and just coming up to him at the corner of the
street.
“Why, (said he) you have left me a living man!”
“Never mind, (replied the other;) kill him when you want him.” And
making good use of his heels he quickly disappeared.
A Comedian of some celebrity, but who is now too old for theatrical
service, relates a circumstance which occurred to him upon his first
arrival in town:--
Having entered into an engagement to appear upon the boards of one of
the London Theatres, he sought the metropolis some short time before the
opening of the House; and conceiving it necessary to his profession
to study life--real life as it is,--he was accustomed to mingle
promiscuously in almost all society. With this view he frequently
entered the tap rooms of the lowest public houses, to enjoy his pipe and
his pint, keeping the main object always in view--
“To catch the manners living as they rise.”
Calling one evening at one of these houses, not far from Drury Lane, he
found some strapping fellows engaged in conversation, interlarded with
much flash and low slang; but decently dressed, he mingled in a sort of
general dialogue with them on the state of the weather, politics, &c.
After sitting some time in their company, and particularly noticing
their persons and apparent character--
“Come, Bill, it is time to be off, it is getting rather
darkish.” “Ah, very well (replied the other,) let us have
another quart, and then I am your man for a bit of a lark.”
By this time they had learned that the Comedian was but
newly arrived in town; and he on the other hand was desirous
of seeing what they meant to be up to. After another quart
they were about to move, when, said one to the other, “As we
are only going to have a stroll and a bit of fun, perhaps
that there young man would like to join us.”
“Ah, what say you, Sir? have you any objection? but perhaps
you have business on hand and are engaged--”
“No, I have nothing particular to do,” was the reply. “Very
well, then if you like to go with us, we shall be glad of
your company.”
“Well (said he,) I don't care if I do spend an hour with
you.” And with that they sallied forth.
After rambling about for some time in the vicinity of
Tottenham Court Road, shewing him some of the Squares, &c.
describing the names of streets, squares, and buildings,
they approached St. Giles's, and leading him under a
gateway, “Stop, (said one) we must call upon Jack, you know,
for old acquaintance sake,” and gave a loud knock at the
door; which being opened without a word, they all walked in,
and the door was instantly lock'd. He was now introduced to
a man of squalid appearance, with whom they all shook hands:
the mode of introduction was not however of so satis-factory