Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
House of Lords. Mr. Roger Hunt appeared in the same capacity for the
Earl Marshal, and both advocates, in their exordium, made most humble
protestations, entreating the lord against whom they were retained, not
to take amiss what they should advance on the part of their own client.
Another point on which the lawyers of the present age differ from their
ancestors, is in their prolixity. It was reserved for modern invention
to make a trial for high treason last eight days, or to extend a speech
to nine hours duration.
1 Abbot's Park--The King's Bench.
2 On board the Fleet--The Fleet Prison.
~248~~“These societies have the following officers and servants: a
treasurer, sub-treasurer, steward, chief butler, three under-butlers,
upper and under cook, a pannierman, a gardener, two porters, two
wash-pots, and watchmen.
“The Benchers assume and exercise a power that can scarcely be
reconciled to the reason of the thing. They examine students as to their
proficiency in the knowledge of the law, and call candidates to the bar,
or reject them at pleasure, and without appeal. It is pretty well known
that students in some cases eat their way to the bar; in which there can
be no great harm, because their clients will take the liberty afterwards
of judging how far they have otherwise qualified themselves. But every
man that eats in those societies should be called, or the rejection
should be founded solely on his ignorance of the law, and should be
subject to an appeal to a higher jurisdiction; otherwise the power of
the Benchers may be exercised on private or party motives.
“The expence of going through the course of these Societies is not
great. In the Inner Temple, a student pays on admission, for the fees of
the society, 3L. 6s. 8d. which, with other customary charges, amounts to
4L 2s. A duty is also paid to the King, which is high. Terms may be kept
for about 10s. per week, and, in fact, students may dine at a cheaper
rate here than any where beside. The expences in the principal societies
of like nature are something more.
“Their kitchens, and dinner-rooms, merit the inspection of strangers,
and may be seen on applying to the porter, or cooks, without fee or
introduction. Our time is short now, or we would take a peep; you must
therefore content yourself with my description.
“The Temple is an irregular building. In Fleet-street are two entrances,
one to the Inner, and the other to the Middle Temple. The latter has a
front in the manner of Inigo Jones, of brick, ornamented with four large
stone pilastres, of the Ionic order, with a pediment. It is too narrow,
and being lofty, wants proportion. The passage to which it leads,
although designed for carriages, is narrow, inconvenient, and mean.
“The garden of the Inner Temple is not only a most happy situation, but
is laid out with great taste, and kept ~249~~in perfect order. It
is chiefly covered with green sward,, which is pleasing to the eye,
especially in a city, and is most agreeable to walk on. It lies, as you
perceive, along the river, is of great extent, and has a spacious
gravel walk, or terrace, on the bank of the Thames. It forms a crowded
promenade in summer, and at such times is an interesting spot.
“The Middle Temple has a garden, but much smaller,, and not so
advantageously situated.
“The hall of the Middle Temple is a spacious and elegant room in its
style. Many great feasts have been given in it in old times. It is well
worth a visit.
“The Inner Temple hall is comparatively small, but is a fine room. It is
ornamented with the portraits of several of the Judges. Before this
hall is a broad paved terrace, forming an excellent promenade, when the
gardens are not sufficiently dry.
“There are two good libraries belonging to these societies, open to
students, and to others on application to the librarian, from ten in the
morning till one, and in the afternoon from two till six.
“The Temple church belongs in common to the two societies. The Knights
Templars built their church on this site, which was destroyed, and the
present edifice was erected by the Knights Hospitallers. It is in the
Norman style of architecture, and has three aisles, running east and
west, and two cross aisles. At the western end is a spacious round
tower, the inside of which forms an elegant and singular entrance into
the church, from which it is not separated by close walls, but merely by
arches. The whole edifice within has an uncommon and noble aspect. The
roof of the church is supported by slight pillars of Sussex marble, and
there are three windows at each side, adorned with small pillars of the
same marble. The entire floor is of flags of black and white marble;
the roof of the tower is supported with six pillars, having an upper and
lower range of small arches, except on the eastern side, opening into
the church: The length of the church is eighty-three feet; the breadth
sixty; and the height thirty-four; the height of the inside of the tower
is forty-eight feet, and its diameter on the floor fifty-one.
“In the porch or tower are the tombs of eleven Knights Templars; eight
of them have the figures of ~250~~armed knights on them, three of them
being the tombs of so many Earls of Pembroke. The organ of this church
is one of the finest in the world.
“The Temple church is open for divine service every day, at eleven
o'clock in the morning, and at four in the afternoon. There are four
entrances into the Temple, besides those in Fleet-street; and it is
a thoroughfare during the day, but the gates are shut at night. The
gardens are open to the public in summer. It is a place of much business
and constant traffic, I assure you.”
“I perceive it,” said Bob, “by the number of persons passing and
repassing, every one apparently animated and impelled by some business
of importance.”
“Yes, it is something like a steam-boiler, by which a considerable
portion of the engines of the Law are kept in motion. They can alarm and
allay according to the pockets of their customers, or the sagacity which
they are able to discover in their heads. There are perhaps as many
Quacks in this profession as in any other,” continued Tom, as they
regained Fleet-street; when, perceiving it was half past four o'clock by
St. Dunstan's--“But we must now make the best of our way, or we may be
cut out of the good things of this _Globe_.”
“What are so many persons collected together here for?” enquired Bob.
“Merely to witness a little of ingenious machinery. Keep your eye on the
two figures in the front of the church with clubs in their hands.”
“I do,” said Bob; “but there does not appear to me to be any thing very
remarkable about them.”
He scarcely uttered the words, when he observed that these figures
struck their clubs upon the bells which hung between them to denote the
time of day.
“These figures,” said Tom, “and the circumstance of giving them motion
every fifteen minutes by the movements of the clock, have attracted a
great deal of notice, particularly among persons from the country, and
at almost every quarter of an hour throughout the day they are honoured
with spectators. The church itself is very ancient, and has been
recently beautified. The _Bell thumpers_, whose abilities you have just
had a specimen of, have been standing there ever since the year 1671.”
“It is hard service,” said Bob, “and they must certainly deserve a
pension from Government more than many of ~251~~the automatons who are
now in the enjoyment of the national bounties.”
“You are right enough,” said a Translator of Soles,{1} who had overheard
Bob's last remark, with a pair of old shoes under his arm; “and d----n
me if I would give a pair of _crazy crabshells_{2} without _vamp or
whelt for the whole boiling of 'em_{3}-there is not one on 'em worth a
bloody jemmy.”{4}
Upon hearing this from the political Cobbler, a disturbed sort of shout
was uttered by the surrounding spectators, who had rather increased than
diminished in number, to hear the observations of the leathern-lung'd
Orator; when Tom, giving his Cousin a significant pinch of the arm,
impelled him forward, and left them to the enjoyment of their humour.
“Political observations are always bad in the street,” said Tom; “it is
a subject upon which scarcely any two persons agree distinctly-_Old Wax
and Bristles_ is about _three sheets in the wind_,{5} and no doubt there
are enough to take advantage of any persons stopping at this time of the
day.”{6}
“What have we here?” said Bob, who observed a concourse of people
surrounding the end of Fetter Lane.
“Only a couple more of striking figures,” replied Tom, “almost as
intelligent as those we have just seen.”
1 Translator of Soles--A disciple of St. Crispin, alias a
cobbler, who can botch up old shoes, so as to have the
appearance of being almost new, and who is principally
engaged in his laudable occupation by the second-hand shoe-
sellers of Field Lane, Turn Stile, &c. for the purpose of
turning an honest penny, i.e. to deceive poor purchasers.
2 Crab-shells--A cant term for shoes.
3 Whole boding of 'em--The whole kit of 'em, &c. means the
whole party.
4 Bloody Jemmy--A cant term for a sheep's head.
5 Three sheets in the wind--A cant phrase intending to
explain that a person is more than half drunk.
6 This was a hint well given by Dashall; for, in the present
times, it is scarcely possible to be aware of the numerous
depredations that are committed in the streets of the
Metropolis in open day-light; and it is a well-known fact,
that Fleet Street, being one of the leading thoroughfares,
is at almost all times infested with loose characters of
every description, from the well-dressed Sharpers, who hover
round the entrances to billiard-tables to mark new comers,
and give information to the pals in waiting, somewhere
within call, and who are called Macers-to the wily Duffers
or Buffers, willing to sell extraordinary bargains, and the
_Cly-faker_, or Pickpocket.
~252~~Bob bustled forward, and looking down the lane, perceived two
Watchmen, one on each side the street, bearing poles with black boards
inscribed in white letters, “Beware of bad houses,” and a lantern
hanging to each.
“These,” said Tom, “are not decoy ducks, but scare crows, at least they
are intended for such; whether their appearance does not operate as much
one way as it does the other, is, I believe, a matter of doubt.”
“Beware of bad houses,” said Bob--“I don't exactlY see the object.”
“No, perhaps not,” continued his Cousin; “but I will tell you: this is a
method which the Churchwardens of parishes sometimes take of shaming
the _pa-pa_ or _fie fie_ ladies from their residences, or at least of
discovering their visitors; but I am half inclined to think, that nine
times out of ten the contrary effect is produced; for these men who are
stationed as warnings to avoid, are easily to be blinded by the gay and
gallant youths, who have” an inclination to obtain an admission to
the fair cyprians; besides which, if the first inhabitants are really
induced to quit, the house is quickly occupied by similar game, and
the circumstance of the burning out, as it is termed, serves as a
direction-post to new visitors; so that no real good is eventually
effected-Come, we had better move on--there is nothing more
extraordinary here.”
“This is Peele's Coffee House,” continued he--“a house celebrated for
its general good accommodations. Here, as well as at the Chapter Coffee
House, in Paternoster Row, all the newspapers are kept filed annually,
and may be referred to by application to the Waiters, at the very