Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
manner engaged, while the surrounding seats were in similar occupation;
Dashall and Bob, of the many hundreds of individuals present, were
perhaps the only two led to the place by curiosity alone.
Tallyho, who, on every occasion of “doubtful dilemma,” looked to his
cousin Dashall for extrication, expressed his surprise at the appearance
of a squalid figure, whose lank form, patched habiliments, and unshorn
beard, indicated ~325~~extreme penury; in familiar converse with a
gentleman fashionably attired, and of demeanour to infer unquestionable
respectability.
“Interest,” said Tallyho, “supersedes every other consideration, else
these two opposites would not meet.”
“Your observation is just,” replied his cousin; “the tatterdemallion to
whom you allude, is probably less impoverished than penurious; perhaps
of miserly habits, and in other respects disqualified for polite
society. What then, he is doubtless in ample possession of the essential
requisite; and here a monied man only is a good man, and without money
no man can be respectable.”{1}
Here the continued and deafening noise of a hand-bell, rung by one
of the Exchange-keepers underlings, perched on the balcony over the
southern gate, interrupted Mr. Dashall's remarks; it was the signal for
locking up the gates, and inferring at the same time obedience to the
summons with due promptitude and submission, on pain of being detained
two hours “in duresse vile.”
Sufficient alacrity of egression not having been shown, the Keepers
closed the two gates, and at the same time locked the east and western
avenues; thus interdicting from egress above three hundred contumacious
individuals, including the Hon. Tom Dashall and his Cousin.
A considerable time having now elapsed without any prospect of
enlargement, dissatisfaction gained ground apace, and shortly ripened
into actual mutiny. The disaffected now proceeded to hold a council of
war, and after a few moments deliberation, it was resolved unanimously
to storm the avenues! Dashall and
1 Some years ago, a gentleman of extensive property, residing in the
country, was desirous of raising, by way of loan on the security of
landed estates, the sum of 30,000L. His Solicitor in London, with whom
he had corresponded on the subject, summoned him at last to town; a
lender was found, who was to meet the Solicitor at a certain time and
place appointed, in the neighbourhood of the Exchange. The borrower,
on the day and near the hour fixed upon, was in the area of the Royal
Exchange, when there crossed over a wretched looking being, the very
personification of misery. The gentleman, unsolicited, gave the poor
object a shilling. On going to the appointed rendezvous, how great was
his astonishment to find in the person of the wealthy monied man the
identical receiver of his bounty!--“Ha, ha,” cried he, “you shall not
fare the worse for your generosity!” and actually advanced the money
on terms much easier than expected. This personage was the celebrated
Daniel Dancer.
~326~~ Tallyho declined taking any part in the enterprise; they took a
right view of the affair; they were mere casual visitants, not likely
ever again to suffer a similar restraint, while the others were in the
daily practice of transacting business on the spot: to them therefore
the frequent recurrence of the present disaster might happen--theirs
then was the cause, as being most particularly interested.
An attack was made by the prisoners upon the portals opening into Bank
Buildings and Sweeting's Kents; but the former having been shattered
sometime since on a similar occasion, and subsequently very strongly
repaired, it was found impregnable, at least to any immediate exertion
of force, and being neither furnished with a park of artillery, nor with
the battering ram of the ancients, the little army faced to the right
about, enfiladed the area, and took up a new position, in due order of
assault, against the door of the avenue leading into Sweeting's Rents.
The affair was decided, and without bloodshed; the bars soon bent before
the vigour of the assailants; one of these was taken into custody by a
Beadle, but rescued, and the attack recommenced with success; when the
opposite door was also opened by the Shop-keeper living in that avenue,
and the Exchange was finally cleared at four minutes past five o'clock,
after above an hour's detention, including the time occupied in storming
the avenues.
The triumph of liberty was now complete; the intrepid phalanx disbanded
itself; and our Heroes having made the farewell conge to their
victorious compeers, proceeded into Cornhill, where, Dashall espying
his curricle at the door of Tom's Coffee House, they, after refreshing
themselves, took a cheerful country drive over London Bridge, Clapham
Common, Wandsworth, &c. from which they returned at six o'clock to
dinner, determined to have a night's rest before they proceeded in
search of further adventures.~327~~
CHAPTER XXI
“Happy the man, who void of cares and strife,
In silken or in leathern purse retains
A SPLENDID shilling! he nor hears with pain
New oysters cried, nor sighs for cheerful ale;
But I, whom griping penury surrounds,
And hunger, sure attendant upon want,
With scanty offal and small acid tiff,
Wretched repast, my meagre corse sustain!
Or solitary walk, or dose at home
In garret vile!”
TALKING over, at the breakfast-table, the occurrences of the preceding
day--“On my conscience!” exclaimed Tallyho, “were the antediluvian
age restored, and we daily perambulated the streets of this immense
Metropolis during a hundred years to come, I firmly believe that every
hour would bring a fresh accession of incident.”
“Ad infinitum,” answered Dashall; “where happiness is the goal in
view, and fifteen hundred thousand competitors start for the prize, the
manouvres of all in pursuit of the grand ultimatum must ever exhibit an
interesting and boundless variety. London,
“. . . the needy villain's general home,
The common sewer of Paris and of Rome!”
where ingenious vice too frequently triumphs over talented worth--where
folly riots in the glare of luxury, and merit pines in indigent
obscurity.--Allons donc!--another ramble, and chance may probably
illustrate my observation.”
“Take notice,” said the discriminating Dashall to his friend, as they
reached the Mall in St. James's Park, “of that solitary knight of the
woeful countenance; his thread-bare raiment and dejected aspect, denote
disappointment and privation;--ten imperial sovereigns to a plebeian
~328~~ shilling, he is either a retired veteran or a distressed poet.”
The object of curiosity, who had now seated himself, appeared to have
attained the age of fifty, or more--a bat that had once been
black--a scant-skirted blue coat, much the worse for wear--a striped
waistcoat--his lank legs and thighs wrapt in a pair of something
resembling trowsers, but “a world too wide for his shrunk shanks”--short
gaiters--shoes in the last stage of consumption--whiskers of full
dimensions--his head encumbered with an unadjusted redundancy-of grey
hair: such were the habiliments and figure of this son of adversity!
The two friends now seated themselves on the same bench with the
stranger, who, absorbed in reflection, observed not their approach.
The silence of the triumvirate was broken in upon by Tom, who, with his
usual suavity of manners, politely addressed himself to the unknown,
on the common topic of weather, _et cetera_, without eliciting in reply
more than an assenting or dissenting monosyllable, “You have seen some
service, Sir?”
“Yes.”
“In the army, I presume?”
“No.”
“Under Government?”
“Yes.”
“In the navy, probably?”
“No.”
“I beg your pardon,” continued Dashall--“my motives originate not in
idle inquisitiveness; if I can be of any service------”
The stranger turned towards him an eye of inquiry. “I ask not from
impertinent curiosity,” resumed Dashall, “neither would I wish
indelicately to obtrude an offer of assistance, perhaps equally
unnecessary as unacceptable; yet there are certain mutabilities of life
wherein sympathy may be allowed to participate.”
“Sir,” said the other, with an immediate grateful expansion of mind, and
freedom of communication--“I am inexpressibly indebted for the honour
of your solicitude, and feel no hesitation in acknowledging that I am
a literary writer; but so seldom employed, and, when employed, so
inadequately requited, that to me the necessaries of life are frequently
inaccessible.”
~329~~ Here Tallyho interrupted the narrator by asking--whence it
was that he had adopted a profession so irksome, precarious, and
unproductive?
“Necessity,” was the reply. “During a period of eight years, I performed
the duties as senior Clerk of an office under Government; four years
ago the establishment was broken up, without any provision made for its
subordinate dependents; and thus I became one of the twenty thousand
distressed beings in London, who rise from bed in the morning, unknowing
where to repose at night, and are indebted to chance for a lodging or a
dinner!”{1} 1 The following calculation, which is curious in all its
parts, cannot fail to interest the reader:--
The aggregate Population on the surface of the known
habitable Globe is estimated at 1000,000,000 souls. If
therefore we reckon with the Ancients, that a generation
lasts 30 years, then in that space 1000,000,000 human beings
will be born and die; consequently, 91,314 must be dropping
into eternity every day, 3800 every hour, or about 63 every
minute, and more than one every second. Of these
1000,000,000 souls, 656,000,000 are supposed to be Pagans,
160,000,000 Mahomedans, 9,000,000 Jews, only 175,000,000 are
called Christians, and of these only 50,000,000 are
Protestants.
There are in London 502 places of Worship--one Cathedral,
one Abbey, 114 Churches, 132 Chapels and Chapels of Ease,
220 Meet-ings and Chapels for Dissenters, 43 Chapels for
Foreigners, and 6 Synagogues for Jews. About 4050 public and
private Schools, including Inns of Courts, Colleges, &c.
About 8 Societies for Morals; 10 Societies for Learning and
Arts; 112 Asylums for Sick and Lame; 13 Dispensaries, and
704 Friendly Societies. Charity distributed £800,000 per
annum.
There are about 2500 persons committed for trial in one
year: The annual depredations amount to about £2,100,000.
There are 19 Prisons, and 5204 Alehouses within the bills of
Mortality. The amount of Coin counterfeited is £200,000 per
annum. Forgeries on the Bank of England in the year
£150,000. About 3000 Receivers of Stolen Goods. About 10,000
Servants at all times out of place. Above 20,000 miserable
individuals rise every morning without knowing how or by
what means they are to be supported during the passing day,
or where, in many instances, they are to lodge on the
succeeding night.
London consumes annually 112,000 bullocks; 800,000 sheep and
lambs; 212,000 calves; 210,000 hogs; 60,000 sucking pigs;
7,000,000 gallons of milk, the produce of 9000 cows; 10,000
acres of ground cultivated for vegetables; 4000 acres for
fruit; 75,000 quarters of wheat; 700,000 chaldrons of coals;
1,200,500 barrels of ale and porter; 12,146,782 gallons of
spirituous liquors and compounds; 35,500 tons of wine;
17,000,000 pounds of butter, 22,100,000 pounds of cheese;
14,500 boat loads of cod.
~330~~ “May I ask,” said Mr. Dashall, “from what species of literary