Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
to his rage in the most buskin'd strain, and concluded by
swearing that he would have her ousted. To this assault she
was not backward in reply, but soon convinced him that she
was much more powerful in abusive language than our Roscius,
though he had recourse in his speech to Milton's “hell-born
bitch,” and other phrases of similar celebrity, whilst she
entirely depended on her own natural resources. Those to
whom this oratory is not new, have no need of our reporting
any of it; and those to whom it is a perfect mystery, boast
a “state the more gracious,” and are the more happy in their
ignorance. None of this rhapsody, however, although teeming
with blasphemy and abuse, had any effect on Garrick, and he
would have remained unmoved had she not terminated in the
following manner, which so excited the laughter of the
collected mob, and disconcerted “the soul of Richard,”
that, without another word to say, he hastily took shelter
in the theatre. Putting her arms akimbo, and letting down
each side of her mouth with wonderful expression of
contempt, she exclaimed--“You whipper snapper! you oust me!
You be d-----d! My house is as good as your's--aye, and
better too. I can come into your's whenever I like, and
see the best that you can do for a shilling; but d-----me if
you, or any body else, shall come into mine for less than a
fifteen-penny negus.”
~340~~ “This street and neighbourhood was wont to exhibit, nightly,
a melancholy proof of early infamy. Here might be seen a prolonged
succession of juvenile voluptuaries, females, many of them under
fourteen years of age, offering themselves to indiscriminate
prostitution, in a state verging on absolute nudity, alluring the
passengers, by every seductive wile, to the haunts of depravity, from
which retreat was seldom effected without pecuniary exaction, and
frequently accompanied by personal violence. The nuisance has been
partly abated, but entirely to remove it would be a task of more
difficult accomplishment than that of cleansing the Augean stable, and
would baffle all the labours of Hercules!”
“This fact,” observed Tallyho, “throws an indelible stain on
metropolitan police.”
“Not so,” answered his companion, “scarce a day passes without groups of
these unfortunates being held before a magistrate, and humanely disposed
of in various ways, with the view of preventing a recurrence to vicious
habits,--but in vain;--the stain is more attributed to the depraved
nature of man, who first seduces, and then casts off ~341~~ to infamy
and indigence the unhappy victim of credulity. Many of these wretched
girls would, in all probability, gladly have abstained from the career
of vice, if, on their first fall, they had experienced the consoling
protection of parents or friends;--but, shut out from home,--exiled from
humanity,--divested of character, and without resources,--no choice is
left, other than mendicity or prostitution!”{1}
The sombre reflections occasioned by these remarks gradually gave way to
those of a more enlivening hue, as the two friends proceeded along the
Strand. The various display, at the tradesmen's shop windows, of useful
and ornamental articles,--the continued bustle of the street,--the
throng of passengers of every description, hurrying on in the activity
of business, or more leisurely lounging their way under the impulse of
curiosity,--the endless succession of new faces, and frequent occurrence
of interesting incident;--these united in forming an inexhaustible fund
of amusement and admiration.
1 “Hatton Garden.--On Saturday, no less than fifteen
unfortunate girls, all elegantly attired, were placed at the
bar, charged by Cadby, the street-keeper on the Foundling
Estate, with loitering about the neighbourhood for their
nocturnal purposes. The constable stated, that repeated
complaints had been made to him by many of the inhabitants,
of the disgraceful practice of vast numbers of frail ones,
who resort every night to Brunswick Square. He had been
therefore instructed to endeavour to suppress the nuisance.
About twelve o'clock on Friday night, while perambulating
the district, he found the fifteen prisoners at the bar in
Brunswick Square, at their usual pursuits, and all of them
were in the act of picking up gentlemen. He procured
assistance, and they were taken into custody, and conveyed
to the watch-house.
None of the prisoners could deny the charge, but expressed
great contrition at being under the painful necessity of
procuring their subsistence in so disgraceful a manner. They
were examined individually, by the magistrates, as to the
origin that brought them to disgrace. Some, from their
admission, were farmers' daughters, and had been decoyed
from their relatives, and brought to London, and
subsequently deserted by their seducers. Some were nursery-
maids--others, girls seduced from boarding schools. Their
tales were truly distressing--some had only been six months
in such infamy, others twelve months, and some two years and
upwards.
The worthy magistrate, with much feeling, admonished them on
the evil course they were following, and pointed out the
means still left for them to return to the paths of virtue;
and on their severally promising never to appear again in
that quarter, they were discharged.”
Passing through Temple Bar, “Once more,” said ~342~~ Dashall, “we enter
the dominions of another Sovereign,--the Monarch of the City,--than
whom there is none more tenacious of the rights and immunities of
his subjects. Professing a strictly civil government, and consequent
hostility to military interference, it does not always happen that the
regal sway of the East harmonizes with that of the West, and the limited
reign of the former is generally most popular when most in opposition
to that of the latter. Several important events have occurred wherein a
late patriotic Right Honourable Chief Magistrate has had the opportunity
of manifesting a zealous, firm, and determined attachment to the
privileges of the community: the good wishes of his fellow-citizens have
accompanied his retirement, and his private and public worth will be
long held in deserved estimation.”
Turning up the Old Bailey, and passing, with no pleasing sensations,
that structure in front of which so many human beings expiate their
offences with their lives, without, in any degree, the frequency of
the dreadful example lessening the perpetration of crime,--“The crowd
thickens,” exclaimed the 'Squire; and advancing into Smithfield, a
new scene opened on the view of the astonished Tallyho. An immense and
motley crowd was wedged together in the open space of the market, which
was surrounded by booths and shows of every description, while the
pavement was rendered nearly impassable by a congregated multitude,
attracted by the long line of stalls, exhibiting, in ample redundancy,
the gorgeously gilt array of ginger-bread monarchs, savory spice-nuts,
toys for children and those of elder growth, and the numerous other
_et cetera_ of Bartholomew Fair, which at that moment the Lord Mayor
of London, with accustomed state and formality, was in the act of
proclaiming.
A more dissonant uproar now astounded the ears of Bob than ever issued
from the hounds at falt in the field or at variance in the kennel! The
prolonged stunning and vociferous acclamation of the mob, accompanied
by the deeply sonorous clangor of the gong--the shrill blast of the
trumpet--the hoarse-resounding voices of the mountebanks, straining
their lungs to the pitch of extremity, through speaking tubes--the
screams of women and children, and the universal combination of discord,
announced the termination of the Civic Sovereign's performance in the
drama; “the revelry now had began,” ~343~~ and all was obstreperous
uproar, and “confusion worse confounded.”
In the vortex of the vast assemblage, the Hon. Tom Dashall and his
Cousin were more closely hemmed in than they probably would have been at
the rout of female distinction, where inconvenience is the order of the
night, and pressure, to the dread of suffocation, the criterion of rank
and fashion. Borne on the confluent tide, retreat was impracticable;
alternately then, stationary and advancing with the multitude, as it
urged its slow and undulating progress; or paused at the attractions of
Wombwell and Gillman's rival menageries--the equestrian shows of Clark
and Astley--the theatres of Richardson and Gyngell, graced by the
promenade of the _dramatis personæ_ and lure of female nudity--the young
giantess--the dwarfs--and the accomplished lady, who, born without arms,
cuts out watch-papers with her toes, and takes your likeness with her
teeth!--Amidst these and numerous other seductive impediments to their
progress, our pedestrians, resisting alike temptation and invitation,
penetrated the mass of spectators, and gained an egress at Long Lane,
uninjured in person, and undamaged in property, “save and except” the
loss, by Bob, of a shoe, and the rent frock of his honourable Cousin.
To repair the one and replace the other was now the predominant
consideration. By fortunate proximity to a descendant of St. Crispin,
the latter object was speedily effected; but the difficulty of
finding, in that neighbourhood, a knight of the thimble, appearing
insurmountable, the two friends pursued their course, Dashall drawing
under his arm the shattered skirts of his garment, until they reached
Playhouse Yard, in Upper Whitecross Street, St. Luke's, to which they
had been previously directed, the epitome of Monmouth Street, chiefly
inhabited by tailors and old clothes retailers, where purchase and
repair are equally available.
Entering a shop occupied by an intelligent Scotch tailor, who, with
his son, was busily employed in making up black cloth and kerseymere
waistcoats, his spouse, a native of Edinburgh, with a smile of
complacency and avidity of utterance that strongly indicated a view to
the main chance, put her usual inquiry:
“What is your wull, Gentlemen--what wad you please to want?”
“My good lady,” answered Dashall, “we would be ~344~~ glad to accept the
services of your husband,” exhibiting at same time the rent skirts of
his frock. “This accident was sustained in passing, or rather in being
squeezed through the Fair; my friend too, experienced a trifling loss;
but, as it has been replaced, I believe that he does not require present
amendment.”
The materials destined to form the black waistcoats were then put aside,
while the northern adept in the exercise of the needle proceeded
to operate on the fractured garment; and a coat being supplied, _ad
interim_, Tom and his friend accepted the “hospitable invitation of the
guid wife, and seated themselves with unhesitating sociability.
“And sae ye hae been to the Fair, gentlemen?” “We have, madam,” said
Dashall, “and unintentionally so; we were not, until on the spot, aware
of any such exhibition, and got within its vortex just as the Lord Mayor
had licensed, by proclamation, the commencement of this annual scene of
idleness, riot and dissipation!”
“Hoot awa, Sir, ye wadna wish to deprive us o' our amusements; poor
folks dinna often enjoy pleasure, and why should na they hae a wee bit
o' it now and then, as weel as the rich?”
“I know not, my good lady,” exclaimed Bon, “that I can altogether
assimilate with your's my ideas of pleasure; if it consists in being
pressed nearly to death by a promiscuous rabble, in attempts on your
pocket, shoes trod off your feet by the formidable iron-cased soles of a