Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
~392 ~~ THE following Tuesday having been appointed by the knowing ones
for a pugilistic encounter between Jack Randall, commonly called the
Nonpareil, and Martin, as well known by the appellation of The Master of
the Rolls, from his profession being that of a baker; an excellent day's
sport was anticipated, and the lads of the fancy were all upon the “_qui
vive_.”
Our friends had consequently arranged, on the previous night, to
breakfast at an early hour, and take a gentle ride along the road, with
a determination to see as much as possible of the attractive amusements
of a milling-match, and to take a view as they went along of the company
they were afterwards to mingle with.
“We shall now,” said Dashall (as they sat down to breakfast) “have a
peep at the lads of the ring, and see a little of the real science of
Boxing.”
“We have been boxing the compass through the difficult straits of a
London life for some time,” replied Bob, “and I begin to think that,
with all its variety, its gaiety, and
~393~~ its pride, the most legitimate joys of life may fairly be said to
exist in the country.”
“I confess,” said Dashall, “that most of the pleasures of life are
comparative, and arise from contrast. Thus the bustle of London
heightens the serenity of the country, while again the monotony of the
country gives additional zest to the ever-varying scenes of London. But
why this observation at a moment when we are in pursuit of fresh game?”
“Nay,” said Tallyho, “I know not why; but I spoke as I thought, feeling
as I do a desire to have a pop at the partridges as the season is now
fast approaching, and having serious thoughts of shifting my quarters.”
“We will talk of that hereafter,” was the reply. “You have an excellent
day's sport in view, let us not throw a cloud upon the prospect before
us--you seem rather in the doldrums. The amusements of this day will
perhaps inspire more lively ideas; and then we shall be present at the
masquerade, which will doubtless be well attended; all the fashion of
the Metropolis will be present, and there you will find a new world,
such as surpasses the powers of imagination--a sort of Elysium
unexplored before, full of mirth, frolic, whim, wit and variety, to
charm every sense in nature. But come, we must not delay participating
in immediate gratifications by the anticipations of those intended for
the future. Besides, I have engaged to give the Champion a cast to the
scene of action in my barouche.”
By this time Piccadilly was all in motion--coaches, carts, gigs,
tilburies, whiskies, buggies, dog-carts, sociables, dennets, curricles,
and sulkies, were passing in rapid succession, intermingled with
tax-carts and waggons decorated with laurel, conveying company of the
most varied description. In a few minutes, the barouche being at
the door, crack went the whip, and off they bowled. Bob's eyes were
attracted on all sides. Here, was to be seen the dashing Corinthian
tickling up his tits, and his bang-up set-out of blood and bone, giving
the go-by to a heavy drag laden with eight brawney bull-faced blades,
smoking their way down behind a skeleton of a horse, to whom in all
probability a good feed of corn would have been a luxury; pattering
among themselves, occasionally chaffing the more elevated drivers by
whom they were surrounded, and pushing forward their nags with all the
ardour of a British ~394~~ merchant intent upon disposing of a valuable
cargo of foreign goods on 'Change. There, was a waggon, full of all
sorts upon the lark, succeeded by a donkey-cart with four insides; but
Neddy, not liking his burthen, stopt short on the way of a Dandy, whose
horse's head coming plump up to the back of the crazy vehicle at the
moment of its stoppage, threw the rider into the arms of a Dustman, who,
hugging his customer with the determined grasp of a bear, swore d------n
his eyes he had saved his life, and he expected he would stand something
handsome for the Gemmen all round, for if he had not pitched into their
cart, he would certainly have broke his neck; which being complied with,
though reluctantly, he regained his saddle, and proceeded a little more
cautiously along the remainder of the road, while groups of pedestrians
of all ranks and appearances lined each side.
At Hyde-Park Corner, Tom having appointed to take up the prime
hammer-man, drew up, and was instantly greeted by a welcome from the
expected party, who being as quickly seated, they proceeded on their
journey.
“This match appears to occupy general attention,” said Tom.
“I should think so,” was the reply--“why it will be a prime thing
as ever was seen. Betting is all alive--the Daffy Club in tip-top
spirits--lots of money sported on both sides--somebody must make a
mull{1}--but Randall's the man--he is the favourite of the day, all the
world to a penny-roll.”
The simile of the penny roll being quite in point with the known title
of one of the combatants, caused a smile on Dashall's countenance, which
was caught by the eye of Tallyho, and created some mirth, as it was
a proof of what has frequently been witnessed, that the lovers of the
fancy are as apt in their imaginations at times, as they are ready for
the accommodating one, two, or the friendly flush hit which floors their
opponents.
The morning was fine, and the numerous persons who appeared travelling
on the road called forth many inquiries from Bob.
“Now,” said he, “I think I recollect that the admirable author of the
_Sentimental Journey_ used to read as he went along--is it possible to
read as we journey forward?” “Doubtless,” replied Tom, “it is, and will
produce
1 Mull--Defeat, loss, or disappointment.
~395~~ a fund of amusing speculation as we jog on. Lavater founded his
judgment of men upon the formation of their features; Gall and Spurzheim
by the lumps, bumps and cavities of their pericraniums; but I doubt not
we shall be right in our views of the society we are likely to meet,
without the help of either--do you see that group?”
Bob nodded assent.
“These,” continued Tom, “are profitable characters, or rather men of
profit, who, kindly considering the constitution of their friends,
provide themselves with refreshments of various kinds, to supply the
hungry visitors round the ring--oranges, nuts, apples, gingerbread,
biscuits and peppermint drops.”
“Not forgetting _blue ruin and French lace_,”{1} said the man of fist;
“but you have only half done it--don't you see the _Cash-cove_{2}
behind, with his stick across his shoulder, _padding the hoof_{3} in
breathless speed? he has _shell'd out the lour_{4} for the occasion, and
is travelling down to keep a _wakeful winker_{5} on his retailers, and
to take care that however they may chuse to lush away the profit, they
shall at least take care of the principal. The little Dandy just before
him also acts as Whipper-in; between them they mark out the ground,{6}
watch the progress, and pocket the proceeds. They lend the money for the
others to traffic.”
“I confess,” said Tom, “I was not exactly up to this.”
“Aye, aye, but I know the _Blunt-monger_,{7} and am up to his ways and
means,” was the reply.--“Hallo, my eyes, here he comes!” continued he,
rising from his seat, and bowing obsequiously to a Gentleman who passed
them in a tandem--“all right, I am glad of it--always good sport when
he is present--no want of sauce or seasoning--he always _comes it
strong_.”{8}
“I perceive,” replied Tom, “you allude to the noble Marquis of W------.”
1 French lace--A flash or cant term for brandy.
2 Cash-cove--A monied man.
3 Padding the hoof--Travelling on Shanks's mare, or taking
a turn by the marrow-bone stage, i.e. walking.
4 Shell'd out the lour--Supplied the cash.
5 Wakeful winker--A sharp eye.
6 Mark out the ground--Is to place his retailers in various
parts of the Ring for the accommodation of the company, any
where he may expect to find them himself.
7 Blunt-monger--Money-dealer, or money-lender.
8 Comes it strong--No flincher, a real good one.
~396~~ Travelling gently along the road, they were presently impeded by
a crowd of persons who surrounded a long cart or waggon, which had just
been overturned, and had shot out a motley group of personages, who
were being lifted on their legs, growling and howling at this unforeseen
disaster. A hard-featured sailor, whose leg had been broken by the fall,
brandished a splinter of the fractured limb, and swore--“That although
his timbers were shivered, and he had lost a leg in the service, he
would not be the last in the Ring, but he'd be d------d if he mount the
rubbish-cart any more.” It is needless to observe his leg was a wooden
one.
Upon examining the inscription on the cart, it was found to contain the
following words:--“Household Furniture, Building Materials, and Lumber
carefully removed.” As it was ascertained that no real injury had
been sustained, our party speedily passed the overturned vehicle and
proceeded.
The next object of attraction was a small cart drawn by one poor animal,
sweating and snorting under the weight of six Swells, led by an old man,
who seemed almost as incapable as his horse seemed unwilling to perform
the journey. A label on the outside of the cart intimated that its
contents was soap, which created some laughter between Tom and Bob. The
man in the front, whose Jew-looking appearance attracted attention, was
endeavouring to increase the speed of the conveyance by belabouring the
boney rump of the _prad_{1} with his hat, while some of their pedestrian
_palls_{2} were following close in the rear, and taking occasionally
a _drap of the cratur_, which was handed out behind and returned after
refreshment.
“These,” said Tom to his Cousin, “are also men of profit, but
not exactly in the way of those we passed--second-rate Swells and
broken-down Gamesters, determined, as the saying is, to have a shy,
even if they lose their sticks, and more properly may be termed men of
plunder; desperate in their pursuits, they turn out with intent to
make the best of the day, and will not fail to nibble all they can come
easily at.”
“They are not worth the blood from a broken nose,” said the Pugilist,
with a feeling for the honour of his profession which did him
credit.--“They are all prigs, their company
1 Prad--A cant term for a horse.
2 Palls--Partners, accomplices, colleagues.
~397~~ spoils all genteel society, and frequently brings disgrace
upon others with whom they are unworthy to associate, or even to be
seen--there's no getting rid of such gentry. Is it not d------d hard a
man can't have a pleasant bit of a turn-up, without having his friends
filched?--But here comes the gay fellows, here they come upon the trot,
all eager and anxious to mark the first blow, start the odds, and curry
the coal.{1} These are the lads of life--true lovers of the sport--up to
the manouvre--clear and quick-sighted, nothing but good ones--aye aye,
and here comes Bill Gibbons, furnished with the fashionables.”
“What do you call the fashionables?” inquired Bob.
“Why, the Binders.”
Here he was as much at a loss as ever, which the other perceiving, he
continued--“The Binders are the stakes and ropes, to fence in the Ring.”
Bill Gibbons, who was well known on the road, and was speeding down
pretty sharp, was followed by crowds of vehicles of all descriptions; as
many to whom the place of meeting was but conjectured, upon seeing
him felt assured of being in the right track. Here were to be seen the
Swells in their tandems--the Nib Sprigs in their gigs, buggies, and
dog-carts--and the Tidy Ones on their trotters, all alive and leaping.
Mirth and merriment appeared spread over every countenance, though