Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
there, I must take a lesson from the man of profit, and keep a wakeful
winker on the possibles. Really, I could not help feeling astonished at
the immense number of persons assembled on such an occasion.”
“Zounds!” said Tom, “'tis the real centre of attraction, the thing,
the tippy, and the twig, among the Lads of the Fancy. Why, it is pretty
generally known, through the medium of the newspapers, that a certain
Nobleman paid the debts of one of these Pugilists, amounting to 300L.
that he might be released from Newgate in order to fight a prize battle;
and it is not long since that the Marquis of T--ed--e, whilst
entertaining a large party, after dinner introduced the subject with so
much effect, that a purse of 100 guineas was subscribed among them for a
turn up between two of the _prime hammermen_; who, being introduced,
actually set-to in his drawing-room for the amusement of his friends.
Nor is it less true, that this sporting Nobleman gloriously took up the
conqueror, (as the saying is) and evinced his patronage and his power at
once, by actually subduing his antagonist, proving to certitude, that if
his Lordship would but practise this sublime art, he ~403~~ could hardly
fail of adding to his present title that of the Champion of England! It
is the theme of constant conversation, and in many cases there is more
anxiety about contests of this sort than there is about the arrival of a
Monarch on the Irish coast among the lads of _praties_, whiskey, and
buttermilk--thoughts are busy, energies are active--and money in galore
is circulated upon it.”
Bob laughed heartily at these observations of his Cousin upon what he
termed the sublime art.
“You don't appear to enter into the spirit of it,” continued Tom; “but
I can assure you, it is a very animating subject, and has occupied the
attention of all classes, from the peer to the prelate, the peasant
and the pot-boy; it is said that one of the lower order of ranting
Preachers, not many miles from Bolton-on-the-Moors, lately addressed
his auditory in the following metaphorical language, accompanied with
striking and appropriate attitudes:--'I dare say, now, you'd pay to see
a boxing-match between Randall and Turner, or Martin--yet you don't like
to pay for seeing a pitched-battle between me and the Black Champion
Beelzebub. Oh! my friends, many a hard knock, and many a cross-buttock
have I given the arch bruiser of mankind--aye, and all for your dear
sakes--pull--do pull off those gay garments of Mammon, strike the devil
a straight-forward blow in the mouth, darken his spiritual daylights.
At him manfully, give it him right and left, and I'll be your
bottle-holder--I ask nothing but the money, which you'll not forget
before you go.' ”
“The true spirit moved him,” said Bob, “and a very laudable one too; but
he very emphatically deprecated the votaries of Mammon.”
“Certainly, he being called, would have been unworthy of his calling if
he had not.”
This conversation was carried on over a glass of generous wine, and,
dwindling into indifferent subjects, is not necessary to be detailed;
suffice it to say, that, fatigued with the day's exertions, they sought
repose in the arms of Morpheus at an early hour, determined on the
pursuit of fresh game with the dawn of the morning.404~~
CHAPTER XXVI
“See yonder beaux, so delicately gay;
And yonder belles, so'deck'd in thin array--
Ah! rather see not what a decent pride
Would teach a maiden modestly to hide;
The dress so flimsy, the exposure such,
“twould almost make a very wanton blush.
E'en married dames, forgetting what is due
To sacred ties, give half clad charms to view.
What calls them forth to brave the daring glance,
The public ball, the midnight wanton dance?
There many a blooming nymph, by fashion led,
Has felt her health, her peace, her honour fled;
Truss'd her fine form to strange fantastic shapes,
To be admir'd, and twirl'd about by apes;
Or, mingling in the motley masquerade,
Found innocence by visor'd vice betrayed.”
AN agreeable lounge through the Parks in the morning afforded them an
opportunity of recalling in idea the pleasures of the past Real Life in
London, of which Tallyho had been enabled to partake, and during which
he again signified a desire to change the scene, by a departure at
an early period for his native vales, to breathe, as he observed, the
uncontaminated air of the country--to watch the wary pointer, and mark
the rising covey--to pursue the timid hare, or chase the cunning
fox; and Dashall finding him inflexible, notwithstanding his glowing
descriptions of scenes yet unexplored, at length consented to accompany
him to Belville Hall, upon condition that they should return again in
a month. This mode of arrangement seemed perfectly satisfactory to Bob;
and a view of the Panorama and a peep at the Tennis Court would have
finished their rambles for the day, but at the latter place of
amusement and healthful exercise, meeting with young Mortimer, a further
developement of facts relative to Sparkle and his Bride transpired; in
which it appeared that they had arrived at their place of destination,
and had forwarded an invitation to his brother-in-law to ~405~~ pay them
an early visit, and who proposed starting in a few days.
“Well,” said Dashall, “we will all go together, and no doubt with our
old friend Sparkle we shall be able to endure the unchanging prospects
of a country life.”
“In the Country how blest, when it rains in the fields,
To feast upon transports that shuttle-cock yields;
Or go crawling from window to window, to see
An ass on a common, a crow on a tree.
In the Country you're nail'd, like some pale in your park,
To some stick of a neighbour, crammed into the ark;
And if you are sick, or in fits tumble down,
You reach death ere the Doctor can reach you from town.”
“Never mind,” cried Tallyho, “a change of scene will no doubt be useful,
and, at all events, by enduring the one, we may learn more judiciously
to appreciate the other.”
“True,” said Tom, “and I shall like myself all the better for being
in good company. But pray, Mr. Mortimer, what do you mean to do at the
approaching masquerade?”
“Not quite decided yet,” was the reply.
“You go, of course?”
“Certainly--as Orpheus, or Apollo. But pray what character do you intend
to sustain?”
“That's a secret--”
“Worth knowing, I suppose--well, well, I shall find you out, never
fear.”
“Time's a tell-tale,” said Dashall, “and will most likely unfold all
mysteries; but I always think the life and spirit of a masquerade is
much injured by a knowledge of the characters assumed by friends, unless
it be where two or more have an intention of playing, as it were,
to, and with each other; for where there is mystery, there is always
interest. I shall therefore propose that we keep to ourselves the
characters in which we mean to appear; for I am determined, if possible,
to have a merry night of it.”
“On the lightly sportive wing,
At pleasure's call we fly;
Hark! they dance, they play, they sing,
In merry merry revelry;
Hark! the tabors lively beat,
And the flute in numbers sweet,
Fill the night with delight
At the Masquerade.
Let the grave ones warn us as they may,
Of every harmless joy afraid;
Whilst we're young and gay,
We'll frolic and play
At the Masquerade.”
~406~~ Tom's observations upon this subject were in perfect accordance
with those of. Mortimer and Tallyho; though he had intended to consult
his Cousin as to the character he should appear in, he now determined
to take his own direction, or to have advice from Fentum in the Strand,
whose advertisements to supply dresses, &c. he had observed in the
newspapers.
These preliminaries being decided upon, as far as appeared needful at
the moment, Mortimer departed towards home, where he expected to meet
his Uncle upon his return from the chase after the fugitives, Sparkle
and Miss Mortimer, now Mrs. Sparkle; and Tom and Bob to Piccadilly,
where a select party of Dashall's friends were invited to dinner, and
where they enjoyed a pleasant evening, drank rather freely, and had but
little to regret after it, except certain qualmish feelings of the head
and stomach the next morning.
The anticipated Masquerade had been the principal subject of
conversation, so long as reason held her sway; but the hard exercise of
the arm, and the generosity of the wine, had an early and visible effect
upon some of the party, who did not separate till a late hour, leaving
Bob just strength and intelligence enough to find the way to his
dormitory.
By the arrival of the appointed evening for the grand Masquerade at
Vauxhall Gardens, Tom Dashall, who had a particular view in keeping
his intended proceedings a secret, had arranged all to his wishes, and
anticipated considerable amusement from the interest he should take
in the safety of his Cousin, whom he entertained no doubt of quickly
discovering, and with whom he determined to promote as much mirth as
possible.
Tallyho, in the mean time, had also made occasional calls upon Merrywell
in his confinement, and, under his direction, been preparing for the
occasion, equally determined, if possible, to turn the laugh on his
Cousin; ~407~~ and it must be acknowledged, he could scarcely have
found a more able tutor, though he was doomed rather to suffer by
his confidence in his instructor, as will hereafter be seen; for, in
escaping the intended torment of one, he was unexpectedly subjected to
the continual harassing of another.
It was about half after eleven o'clock, when Tallyho, duly equipped in
his country costume, as a Huntsman, entered this splendid and spacious
scene of brilliancy. The blaze of light which burst upon him, and the
variety of characters in constant motion, appeared almost to render him
motionless; and several of the would-be characters passed him with a
vacant stare, declaring he was no character at all! nor was he roused
from his lethargic position till he heard a view halloo, which seemed
to come from a distant part of the Garden, and was so delivered, as
actually to give him an idea of the party being in pursuit of game, by
growing fainter towards the close, as if receding from him. The sound
immediately animated him, and answering it in a truly sportsman-like
style, he burst from his situation, and cracking his whip, at full speed
followed in the direction from which it came, under the impression that
he knew the voice of Dashall, and should discover him. In his speed,
however, he was rather rudely attacked by a small dandy personage,
whose outward appearance indicated some pretensions to manhood, with a
“Demmee, Sir, how dare you be rude to my voman! for egad I shall have
you clapped in the Round-house--here, Vatchman, take this here man in
charge--Vatch! Vatch!” The voice however soon told him he had a lady to
deal with, and he entered into a long harangue by way of apology. This
not being acceptable to the offended party, he was surrounded by a host
of Charleys springing their rattles all at once, and, notwithstanding
the dexterous use of his whip, he was obliged to yield. At this moment,
Tallyho was again sounded in his ears, issuing from another quarter; but
his struggles to pursue the party from whom it came were ineffectual. A
rough-hewn Sailor with a pipe in his mouth, and an immense cudgel in