Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
It was now obvious to Dash all and his friend, that this young man,
Jasper Surety, was not altogether the ignoramus at first presumed. They
had already been entertained by his remarks, and his annotations were
of a description to warrant the expectancy of further amusement in the
progress of their inspection.
From the hall the visitors were led through an iron gateway to the
great staircase, opposite the bottom of which is preserved a model in
mahogany, exhibiting the method used by Mr. Milne in constructing the
works of Blackfriars' Bridge; and beneath it are some curious fragments
from the Giant's Causeway in Ireland.
These fragments, however highly estimated by the naturalist and the
antiquary, were held in derision by the worldly-minded Tim. Surety,
who exclaimed against the folly of expending money in the purchase of
articles of no intrinsic value, calculated only to gratify the curiosity
of those inquisitive idlers who affect their admiration of every
uninteresting production of Nature, and neglect the pursuit of the main
chance, so necessary in realizing the comforts of life.
~13~~ These sordid ideas were opposed by Dashall and the 'Squire, to
whom they seemed particularly directed. Mrs. Tabitha smiled a gracious
acquiescence in the sentiments of the two strangers, and Jasper
expressed his regret that Nuncle was not gifted and fated as Midas of
ancient times, who transformed every thing that he touched into gold!
The Egyptian and Etruscan antiquities next attracted the attention of
the visitors. Over a doorway in this room is a fine portrait of Sir
William Hamilton, painted by Sir Joshua Reynolds. Dashall and Tallyho
remarked with enthusiasm on these beautiful relics of the sculpture
of former ages, several of which were mutilated and disfigured by the
dilapidations of time and accident. Of the company present, there stood
on the left a diminutive elderly gentleman in the act of contemplating
the fragment of a statue in a posterior position, and which certainly
exhibited somewhat of a ludicrous appearance; on the right, the
exquisite Jasper pointed out, with the self-sufficiency of an amateur,
the masculine symmetry of a Colossian statue to his Aunt of antiquated
virginity, whose maiden purity recoiling from the view of nudation,
seemed to say, “Jaz, wrap an apron round him!” while in the foreground
stood the rotunditive form of Timothy Surety, who declared, after a
cursory and contemptuous glance at the venerable representatives of
mythology, “That with the exception of the portrait of Sir William
Hamilton, there was not in the room an object worth looking at; and as
for them there ancient statutes,” (such was his vernacular idiom and
Bearbinder barbarism) “I would not give twopence for the whole of this
here collection, if it was never for nothing else than to set them up as
scare-crows in the garden of my country house at Edmonton!”
Jasper whispered his aunt, that nuncks was a vile bore; and the
sacrilegious declaration gave great offence to the diminutive gentleman
aforesaid, who hesitated not in pronouncing Timothy Surety destitute of
taste and vertu; to which accusation Timothy, rearing his squat form
to its utmost altitude, indignantly replied, “that there was not an
alderman in the City of London of better taste than himself in the
qualities of callipash and callipee, and that if the little gemmen
presumed again to asperse his vartue, he would bring an action against
him tor slander and defamation of character.” The minikin man gave
Timothy a glance of ineffable disdain, and left the room. Mrs. ~14~~
Tabitha, in the full consciousness of her superior acquirements, now
directed a lecture of edification to her brother, who, however, manfully
resisted her interference, and swore, that “where his taste and
_vartue_ were called in question he would not submit to any _she_ in the
universe.”
Mrs. Tabitha, finding that on the present occasion her usual success
would not predominate, suspended, like a skilful manoeuvreist,
unavailable attack, and, turning to her nephew, required to know what
personage the tall figure before them was meant to represent. Jasper
felt not qualified correctly to answer this enquiry, yet unwilling to
acknowledge his ignorance, unhesitatingly replied, “One of the ancient
race of architects who built the Giant's Causeway in the north of
Ireland.” This sapient remark excited a smile from the two friends,
who shortly afterwards took an opportunity of withdrawing from further
intercourse with the Bearbinder triumviri, and enjoyed with a more
congenial party the remaining gratification which this splendid national
institution is so well calculated to inspire.
Extending their observations to the various interesting objects of this
magnificent establishment, the two prominent heroes of our eventful
history derived a pleasure only known to minds of superior intelligence,
to whom the wonders of art and nature impart the acmé of intellectual
enjoyment.
Having been conducted through all the different apartments, the
two friends, preparing to depart, the 'Squire tendered a pecuniary
compliment to the Guide, in return for his politeness, but which, to the
surprise of the donor, was refused; the regulations of the institution
strictly prohibiting the acceptance by any of its servants of fee or
reward from a visitor, under the penalty of dismissal.{1}
1 Although the limits of this work admit not a minute detail
of the rarities of the British Museum, yet a succinct
enumeration of a few particulars may not prove unacceptable
to our Readers.
In the first room, which we have already noticed, besides
the Egyptian and Etruscan antiquities, is a stand filled
with reliques of ancient Egypt, amongst which are numerous
small representatives of mummies that were used as patterns
for those who chose and could afford to be embalmed at their
decease.
The second apartment is principally devoted to works of art,
be-ginning with Mexican curiosities. The corners opposite
the light are occupied by two Egyptian mummies, richly
painted, which were both brought from the catacombs of
Sakkara, near Grand Cairo.
The third room exhibits a rich collection of curiosities
from the South Pacific Ocean, brought by Capt. Cook. In the
left corner is the mourning dress of an Otaheitean lady, in
which taste and barbarity are curiously blended. Opposite
are the rich cloaks and helmets of feathers from the
Sandwich Islands.
The visitor next enters the manuscript department, the first
room of which is small, and appropriated chiefly to the
collections of Sir Hans Sloane. The next room is completely
filled with Sir Robert Harley's manuscripts, afterwards Earl
of Oxford, one of the most curious of which is a volume of
royal letters, from 1437 to the time of Charles I.. The next
and last room of the manuscript department is appropriated
to the ancient royal library of manuscripts, and Sir Robert
Cotton's, with a few-later donations. On the table, in the
middle of the room, is the famous Magna Charta of King John;
it is written on a large roll of parchment, and was much
damaged in the year 1738, when the Cotton library took fire
at Westminster, but a part of the broad seal is yet annexed.
We next reach the great saloon, which is finely ornamented
with fresco paintings by Baptiste. Here are a variety of
Roman remains, such as dice, tickets for the Roman theatres,
mirrors, seals for the wine casks, lamps, &c. and a
beautiful bronze head of Homer, which was found near
Constantinople.
The mineral room is the next object of attention. Here are
fossils of a thousand kinds, and precious stones, of various
colours and splendours, composing a collection of
astonishing beauty and magnificence.
Next follows the bird room; and the last apartment contains
animals in spirits, in endless variety. And here the usual
exhibition of the house closes.
~15~~ Issuing from the portals of the Museum, “Apropos,” said Dashall,
“we are in the vicinity of Russell-square, the residence of my
stock-broker; I have business of a few moments continuance to transact
with him--let us proceed to his residence.”
A lackey, whose habiliment, neat but not gaudy, indicated the
unostentatious disposition of his master,, answered the summons of the
knocker: “Mr. C. was gone to his office at the Royal Exchange.”
“The gentleman who occupies this mansion,” observed Dashall to his
friend, as they retired from the door, “illustrates by his success in
life, the truth of the maxim so frequently impressed on the mind of the
school-boy, that perseverance conquers all difficulties. Mr. C, unaided
by any other recommendation than that of his own unassuming modest
merit, entered the very ~16~~ respectable office of which he is now
the distinguished principal, in the situation of a young man who has no
other prospect of advancement than such as may accrue from rectitude of
conduct, and the consequent approbation and patronage of his employer.
By a long exemplary series of diligence and fidelity, he acquired the
confidence of, and ultimately became a partner in the firm. His strictly
conscientious integrity and uniform gentlemanly urbanity have thus
gained him a preference in his profession, and an ample competency is
now the well-merited meed of his industry.”
“Combining with its enjoyment,” responded the 'Squire, “the exercise of
benevolent propensities.”
“Exactly so much so, that his name appears as an annual subscriber to
nearly all the philanthropic institutions of the metropolis, and his
private charities besides are numerous and reiterated.”
“This, then, is one of the few instances (said the 'Squire) of Real Life
in London, where private fortune is so liberally applied in relief of
suffering humanity--it is worthy of indelible record.”
Circumambulating the square, the two observers paused opposite the fine
statue of the late Francis Duke of Bedford.
The graceful proportion, imposing elevation, and commanding attitude of
the figure, together with the happy combination of skill and judgment
by the artist, in the display on the pedestal of various agricultural
implements, indicating the favourite and useful pursuits of this
estimable nobleman, give to the whole an interesting appearance, and
strongly excite those feelings of regret which attend the recollection
of departed worth and genius. Proceeding down the spacious new street
directly facing the statue, our perambulators were presently in
Bedford-square, in which is the effigy of the late eminent statesman
Charles James Fox: the figure is in à sitting posture, unfavourable
to our reminiscences of the first orator of any age or country, and
is arrayed in the Roman toga: the face is a striking likeness, but the
effect on the whole is not remarkable. The two statues face each other,
as if still in friendly recognition; but the sombre reflections of
Dashall and his friend were broke in upon by a countryman with, “Beant
that Measter Fox, zur?” “His effigy, my ~17~~friend.” “Aye, aye, but
what the dickens ha've they wrapt a blanket round un vor?”
Proceeding along Charlotte Street, Bloomsbury, the associates in
search of Real Life were accosted by a decent looking countryman in a
smock-frock, who, approaching them in true clod-hopping style, with a
strong provincial accent, detailed an unaffectedly simple, yet deep tale
of distress:
“----Oppression fore'd from his cot,
His cattle died, and blighted was his corn!”
The story which he told was most pathetic, the tears the while coursing