Real Life In London, Volumes I. and II.
The novitiate, neither surprised at his reception, nor adverse to the
custom of the place, seemed quite at home, paid his garnish without
hesitation, and entered at once into the vacuum of indifference with his
new associates.
The attention of Dashall and Tallyho was attracted by the clank of
fetters, as one of the prisoners squatted himself on the pavement of
the yard. Leaning his back against the wall, he commenced darning an old
stocking, chanting at same time an old song from the Beggar's Opera,
as if predicting his own fate, yet with a manner indicating the most
callous indifference--
“Since laws were made for every degree,
To curb vice in others as well as in me,
I wonder we ha'n't better company
Upon Tyburn tree.----
But gold from law can take out the sting,
And if rich men like us were to swing,
'Twould thin the land, such numbers would string
Upon Tyburn tree.----
The irreclaimable depravity of this man could not excite any urgent
feeling of sympathy in his behalf, and our two friends took no further
notice of him.
~32~~ Their Intelligencer, who in the meanwhile had gone forth for
information, now advancing,--“I thought,” said he, “that I had seen
elsewhere this Johnny Newcome; he is a sharper, another precious
addition to our respectable community.”{1}
“Respectable, indeed,” exclaimed Tallyho, as he detected an urchin thief
in the act of picking his pocket of his handkerchief. This hopeful imp,
though young in years, was experienced in iniquity, had served an active
apprenticeship to the art of picking pockets with impunity,
1 The Sharper, who has generally had a genteel education, is
a person of good address and conversation, has more the
power of delusion at will than the unlettered cheat, devoid
of address and other requisites to complete the pretended
gentleman, and therefore should be more carefully avoided.
These villains, having run through their fortunes at an
early period of life by associating with professed gamblers
and sharpers, (who having eased them of their money, in
return complete them for the profession by which they have
been ruined) set up for themselves, throw aside honour and
conscience, and quote the lex talionis for deceiving others,
as they themselves have been deceived. These gentry are to
be met with at horse-races, cock-fights, the billiard and
hazard tables, and at all public places of diversion. On
your entering the coffee-house, tavern, or gaming-house, the
Sharper views you with attention, and is not long before he
becomes acquainted and very intimate with you; if you agree
to his proposal to play, if he cannot beat you by fair, he
will by foul means. Rather than lose, he will elude your
attention, and raise your passion sufficiently to put you
off your guard, while he plays his underhand game, and
cheats you before your face; and though you are sensible of
being cheated, yet you shall not be able to discover by what
means it is effected. The various methods sharpers have to
cheat and deceive are so many and unaccountable, that it
would exceed the limits of our publication to detail even
the tenth-part of them; their study is to supply their
exigencies by means within their power, however wicked or
villanous. If you associate with sharpers, you must not only
expect, but deserve to be cheated by them for your
credulity; for who would go with his eyes open into a den of
thieves, but in expectation of being robbed? Or, who would
herd with sharpers, and not expect to be cheated? We would
therefore advise the stranger in London to shun these
reptiles of the creation, fraught with guile, and artful as
the serpent to delude. Beware of their conversation, avoid
their company, take no notice of their tricks, nor be caught
by their wheedling professions of friendship; listen not to
any of their enticements, if you would preserve your peace
and property; be not fond of making new acquaintance with
persons you do not know, however genteel in appearance and
behaviour, for many a villain lurks under the disguise of a
modern fine gentle-man; and if any stranger asks you to play
with him for money, set him down in your mind as a Sharper,”
and leave the room immediately.
~33~~and at last became so great an adept in the profession, that at
the early age of thirteen years he was unanimously elected captain of
an organized band of juvenile depredators, some much younger, none older
than himself, who for a considerable length of time set at defiance the
vigilance of the police. These young fry carried on a long protracted
successful war of extermination against ladies' reticules. One urchin,
watching her approach, would lay himself across the path she must pass,
and it frequently happened that she tumbled over him; a grab was then
made at the reticule, the watch, and the shawl, with which the young
villains generally got clear off. Others, in detachments of two or
three, would hover about the door or window of a tradesman's shop, cut
out a pane of glass, and abstract some valuable trinket; or watch the
retirement of the shopkeeper into his back-room, when one of the most
enterprizing would enter on hands and knees, crawl round the counter
with the stillness of death, draw out the till with its contents, and
bear off the spoil with impunity. One night, however, luckily for the
public, the whole gang was made prisoners of, and dispersed to various
gaols, each delinquent being ordered a severe flogging and solitary
confinement. Availing himself of this indulgence, the Captain had
watched the opportunity of approximating towards Tallyho, and was
detected, as we said before, in the exercise of his former propensities;
so difficult it is to eradicate vice from the human mind, even though
in this instance so early implanted. Lenity in this case would have been
equally misplaced as unjust, although the Squire humanely pressed his
intercession; the incorrigible pilferer was therefore handed over to
the custody of one of the turnkeys, until the Governor might award a
punishment suitable to the heinousness of the offence.
The two friends had been here above an hour--it was an hour they thought
not idly spent. And now leaving a small donation for distribution
amongst such as appeared deserving objects, they returned home gratified
by the additional knowledge acquired of _Real Life in London_.~34~~
CHAPTER III
“......Would you see
The Debtors' world, confide yourself to me.
Come; safely shall you pass the fatal door,
Nor fear it shuts you in, to ope no more.
See, frowning grimly o'er the Borough Road,
The crossing spikes that crown the dark abode!
O! how that iron seems to pierce the soul
Of him, whom hurrying wheels to prison roll,
What time from Serjeants' Inn some Debtor pale
The Tipstaff renders in default of bail.
Black shows that grisly ridge against the sky,
As near he draws and lifts an anxious eye:
Then on his bosom each peculiar spike,
Arm'd with its proper ill, appears to strike.”
THE recollection of past enjoyments in the vivacious company of Merry
well, could not fail to be revived in the minds of Dashall and his
Cousin; and as some persons, with due attention to his safety, had
manifested their interest and regard for him by obtaining his admission
to the Priory, where he was at this moment pursuing his studies,
and could not quite so conveniently call on them, an early visit was
determined on.
“We shall,” said Tom, “by a call on Merrywell after six weeks residence
among the gay blades that inhabit the walls of the King's Bench,
have all the benefit of his previous observation. He will be able to
delineate the characters, consciences, and conduct of his neighbours.
He will describe all the comforts and advantages of a college life,
introduce us to the Bloods and the Blacks, and, in short, there are few
persons I know, except Sparkle himself, more able to conduct us through
the intricacies of the Building, to point out the beauty and excellence
of the establishment, its uses and abuses, than Merrywell.”
“Do they charge any thing on admittance?” enquired Bob.
“O yes,” was the reply, “they charge you, by a public ~35~~ notice in
the lobby, not to convey into the interior any spirituous liquors, on
pain of being yourself discharged from thence, and confined elsewhere.
Bless your soul, why the King's Bench is a little world within itself,
a sort of epitome of London; it is in a healthy situation, and the space
which it occupies is extensive. There are in all 224 rooms, and they
measure each about 14 or 16 feet by 12 or 13; of these, eight are called
State-rooms, are much larger than the rest, and more commodious; and
a well-breech'd customer may have almost any accommodation. It is the
prison most immediately belonging to the Court of King's Bench, and,
exclusive of debtors there sued, all persons standing in contempt
of that Court, and most of those committed under its sentence, are
confined.”
“And pretty generally all inhabited?” interrogated Tallyho.
“Yes, and frequently it is difficult to obtain a place to sleep in even
as a chum.”
Bob found himself at fault, and required an explanation of the word
chum.
“The chum,” replied Dashall, “is a partner or bed-fellow, a person
who has an equal right to all the comforts and conveniences of a room,
previously wholly in the possession of one.”
“I understand,” said Bob; “then when every room has already one
occupant, they accommodate him with a companion.”
“Exactly so, and he may prove friend or foe. This, however, may be
avoided, if the student is in possession of the rubbish, by an escape
into the Rules, which extend for three miles round the priory. These
Rules are purchaseable after the following rate, viz. Ten guineas for
the first hundred pounds, and about half that sum for every hundred
pounds afterwards; day-rules, of which three may be obtained in every
term, may be purchased for 4s. 2d. for the first day, and 3s. 10d. for
the rest. Each also must give good security to the Marshal.~36~~
“----The fiction of the law supposes,
That every prisoner, with means to pay,
(For he that has not this advantage loses,)
Either has business in the courts, or may;
Bond, fee, and sureties fresh prepare the way
And Mister Broothoft's manual sign declares
'That Mister such-a-one, on such a day,
'Hath got a rule of Court, and so repairs
'To town, or elsewhere, call'd by his affairs.'
This little Talisman of strange effect,
(Four shillings just and sixpence is the price)
From Bailiff's power the wearer will protect,
And nullify a Capias in a trice:
It bears a royal head in quaint device,
At least as true as that which Wellesley Pole,
With taste for English artists much too nice,
Stamp'd by Pistrucci's aid (Heaven rest his soul!
And shield henceforth the Mint from his controul.)
In various ways the various purchasers
That sally forth with this protecting spell,
Employ the privilege this grant confers:
Some, like myself, their lawyer's citadel
Besiege, his speed long striving to impel;
To take a dinner with a friend some go;
In fashion's haunts some for an hour to swell;