River Legends; Or, Father Thames and Father Rhine
carcase, which would moreover attract all the wolves, foxes, vultures,
crows, and other disagreeable animals from far and near, and render the
place unbearable for months to come. A happy thought struck him, and he
instantly struck the giant in consequence, climbing back again on to his
lip in order to do so. ‘Listen to me, Daddy roarer!’ he cried at the top
of his voice. ‘You can purchase your life if you wish it. What do you
say to that?’
“Fastened as he was, and unable to speak or move his mouth, the old
fellow could only signify his delight by {171}winking his eyes, which he
forthwith did with as much expression as could be expected from a
person of his intellectual capacity. Hans perfectly understood that an
affirmative reply was intended, and he thus proceeded to explain his
meaning to the giant. ‘Now, look here, old chap! you must confess that
you have been a regular ruffian: destroying crops, throwing down houses,
bagging sheep and cattle, stamping upon people who never did _you_ any
harm, and generally playing Old Harry with the whole country. Now, if I
and my mates let you off this time, and spare your life, you must vow,
promise, and solemnly declare that you will do just exactly the reverse
and opposite of all you have hitherto done. You must watch over the
interests of mankind, and, in fact, you must be our slave, perform the
tasks which we shall impose upon you, and yield a ready and implicit
obedience to all commands which shall be laid upon you by properly
constituted authorities among mankind, from the Emperor of Germany down
to the parish constable. If you’re game for this, old fellow, wink your
eye again, and it’s a bargain.’
“It may perhaps be objected to our hero Hans, Brother Thames, that his
language was somewhat of what is termed a ‘slang’ character; but if
critics make, as critics will, such remarks, they should remember that,
in the days of which I am speaking, tailors were not, as now, upon an
equality with educated gentlemen, and their language was not unnaturally
somewhat less polished and refined than might otherwise have been the
case. I should willingly put into the mouth of Hans expressions of a
nature better calculated to please the superlatively well-conditioned
gentlemen who, in these days {172}when all men are equal, speak with
acknowledged accuracy of taste and grammar, whether they chance to have
been half, wholly, or not at all educated, and cannot endure in the
mouths of others anything which falls short of their own high standard;
but I speak of things and people as they really were in those old days,
and I cannot alter the truth for anybody.
“Hans was only a tailor, and perhaps a little vulgar into the bargain,
and he certainly accosted the old giant with more slang expressions and
less respect than his age and rank might have entitled him to expect. So
it was, however, and, what is more, the result was the same as it would
probably have been if Hans had used other and better language to express
his meaning.
“Old Bramble-buffer no sooner heard the conditions imposed than he
winked his eye again without the smallest hesitation, in order to
signify that he agreed to the bargain. Upon this our friend Hans
immediately summoned his companions, who came at once, and, being
ordered by him to do so, climbed upon the face of the still-prostrate
foe, and, at Hans’ further commands, took up the positions which he
indicated. Three of them sat quietly upon his forehead, whilst two
others sat, one over each of his eyes, holding in their hands a sharp
dagger which they kept suspended just above his eyelids.
“‘Now, old boy,’ shouted Hans again, right into the ear of the giant,
‘look here; I am going to keep my part of the bargain, and begin to set
you free. If, when your mouth is open, you cry out for help, or say or
do anything unpleasant, straight into your eyes go these two daggers,
and you will find that you will fare much {173}worse than if you had
kept your word. As soon as your voice is free, you will swear the Big
Oath of the giants to be the slave of our people henceforth; and
you shall then be set free from the other bonds by which you are now
constrained.’
“Having said these words, Hans boldly descended once more into the huge
mouth of his former enemy, accompanied by his remaining companions, who
carried a lantern. Then, taking up his spear, which he had removed from
its position in the giant’s jaws as soon as the beams and rafters had
been all fixed and securely built in, he carefully moved one of these,
which was the key {174}to the whole edifice, and then, jumping out of
the mouth, told the owner thereof that he could do the rest himself.
This, indeed, was the case, for with a vigorous crunch of his jaws,
Bramble-buffer now smashed beams, rafters, joists, and planks all into
one shapeless mass, which he forthwith spat out of his mouth as fast as
he could, and afterwards indulged in a long, deep sigh of relief. It was
a moment of agonizing suspense to the men. Suppose the giant should play
false? They might indeed put out his eyes, but his roars would probably
bring other giants to his aid before long, and, when free, his vengeance
would be terrible. A very few seconds, however, put an end to their
doubts, and dissipated all their fears. The race of giants are a curious
combination of good and evil, and if the latter generally predominates,
it is really not so much from natural or inherent vice as from defective
education, there being a sad want of elementary schools among giants,
and few people big enough to undertake the instruction of their youth.
But no well-born giant of average respectability breaks the great giant
oath, and this was what Bramble-buffer had promised to take. Nor was he
false to his promise: as soon as he had recovered his powers of speech,
his very first words were as follows, pronounced in rhyme, doubtless for
the sake of emphasis:--
‘By the mountains of the earth;
By the ground which gave me birth;
By the streams which here do flow;
By the cots I’ve oft laid low;
By the woods and forests great;
By the woven web of Fate;
By the waters of the Rhine,
Swear I now this oath of mine:--
War with man henceforth t’ eschew,
To their cause for e’er be true,
All their mandates to obey,
Willing slave by night or day,
To their will submissive bow,
Since they grant my freedom now!’
“It {175}is but doing justice to the estimation in which the character
of the giants as vow-keepers stood, to say that from the moment that old
Bramble-buffer pronounced these words, not one of the seven heroes who
stood on and about his face at the time of his dozing had the smallest
fear for themselves, or for those to whom he had just vowed obedience.
They felt, on the contrary, such entire confidence in the moral probity
of their old enemy, and in his honest intention to observe his oath
in the most religious manner, that they immediately threw down their
daggers (in such a reckless manner as might have proved serious to
the face of the old giant if they had not fortunately fallen in his
whiskers), and proceeded without delay to climb down and set free the
hairs which they had so securely fastened with cords and ropes. Little
by little they separated those disagreeable knots and ties, and the
emancipated Bramble-buffer at last rose once more from the ground a free
giant.
“As soon as he was upon his legs, the first thing he did was to shake
himself violently, and in so doing cause the earth to tremble beneath
him as from the shock of an earthquake. He then spoke humbly to Hans,
and asked his will; but as in doing this he employed his ordinary voice,
which was not unlike thunder, his conqueror made the first use of
his power by desiring his slave to speak in a whisper for the future,
{176}unless he should happen to be standing at a great distance from the
person addressed. He next directed the captive Bramble-buffer to carry
him and his companions to the cave in which they had left the rest of
the mortals. This cave was formed out of rocks, close to the vast ruins
of an ancient castle, which at some distant time had been built in a
very strong position, but which age or giants had long ago partially
demolished. In front of the cave huge rocks jutted out on all sides, and
on a plateau of rock there came out several of the mortals to receive
Hans and his prisoner, as soon as the news had spread that they were
near at hand.
“Bramble-buffer had meekly obeyed the commands of his master, and
brought him and his six volunteers safely to the place they desired.
Then Hans, having directed that he should be placed upon a table of rock
just opposite that on which the other mortals were standing, and which
was about on a level with the giant’s head as he stood below, introduced
their new slave to his fellow-men, and related to them the perils and
adventures through which he and his six friends had passed, and the
successful issue to which they had brought the affair which had been
entrusted to them. Upon this the men all set up a shout of joy, as they
gazed with unfeigned delight upon their old enemy, humbled and brought
low as he was.
“Then there followed the usual course of action in such matters.
Everybody praised Hans, and everybody pretended that _they_ had known
his talents, skill, and bravery from the first, and had always been in
favour of the expedition which he had planned and executed.
One {177}would have thought that the old gentleman, at least, would have
remained silent, but this was far from being the case. On the contrary,
he was foremost in offering his congratulations to the triumphant Hans,
and even went so far as to say that he could not help taking some credit
to himself in the matter, for that, highly approving of his scheme from
the first moment he heard it, and being most anxious for its success, he
had known that a little pretended opposition was the only way to get up
a feeling in favour of it among the general throng, and had therefore
spoken doubtfully in order to secure this result. His wisdom, he added,
had been amply justified; Hans had succeeded as he, the old gentleman,
had always known he must and would succeed, and he hoped he would ever
be grateful to those whose age and experience had assisted him at the
first beginning of the affair.
“Hans listened with respectful attention to this speech, and to many of
a similar character from that large class of persons who always tell
one after an event has happened that they perfectly well knew it would
occur, and had often prophesied it beforehand. He did not deem it
necessary to make any answer, but accepted all the compliments offered
him with becoming modesty, and told his friends plainly that he had
acted for the general benefit, and was very thankful that success had
crowned his efforts. Many rewards were, of course, bestowed upon the
hero: he was made a knight of several orders, which conferred the right
to wear certain stars and crosses at court, which was accounted a great
privilege in those days, and was all the more valued because it was
always so uncertain to whom {178}it would be given, some persons who had
done nothing to deserve it being frequently thus decorated, while
others were left out who had fairly earned it by service rendered to the
public. But everybody rejoiced in the honours showered upon Sir Hans,
and tailoring immediately grew fashionable and has so continued ever
since.
“From that time forth there is but little of interest to relate to
you concerning the giant Bramble-buffer. He honestly and diligently