Roughing It
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ROUGHING IT
By Mark Twain
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PREFATORY.
This book is merely a personal narrative, and not a pretentious history
or a philosophical dissertation. It is a record of several years of
variegated vagabondizing, and its object is rather to help the resting
reader while away an idle hour than afflict him with metaphysics, or
goad him with science. Still, there is information in the volume;
information concerning an interesting episode in the history of the Far
West, about which no books have been written by persons who were on the
ground in person, and saw the happenings of the time with their own
eyes. I allude to the rise, growth and culmination of the silver-mining
fever in Nevada—a curious episode, in some respects; the only one, of
its peculiar kind, that has occurred in the land; and the only one,
indeed, that is likely to occur in it.
Yes, take it all around, there is quite a good deal of information in
the book. I regret this very much; but really it could not be helped:
information appears to stew out of me naturally, like the precious ottar
of roses out of the otter. Sometimes it has seemed to me that I would
give worlds if I could retain my facts; but it cannot be. The more I
calk up the sources, and the tighter I get, the more I leak wisdom.
Therefore, I can only claim indulgence at the hands of the reader, not
justification.
THE AUTHOR.
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I. My Brother appointed Secretary of Nevada—I Envy His
Prospective Adventures—Am Appointed Private Secretary Under Him—My
Contentment Complete—Packed in One Hour—Dreams and Visions—On the
Missouri River—A Bully Boat
CHAPTER II. Arrive at St. Joseph—Only Twenty-five Pounds Baggage
Allowed—Farewell to Kid Gloves and Dress Coats—Armed to the Teeth—The
“Allen”—A Cheerful Weapon—Persuaded to Buy a Mule—Schedule of
Luxuries—We Leave the “States”—“Our Coach”—Mails for the Indians—Between
a Wink and an Earthquake—A Modern Sphynx and How She Entertained Us—A
Sociable Heifer
CHAPTER III. “The Thoroughbrace is Broke”—Mails Delivered
Properly—Sleeping Under Difficulties—A Jackass Rabbit Meditating, and on
Business—A Modern Gulliver—Sage-brush—Overcoats as an Article of
Diet—Sad Fate of a Camel—Warning to Experimenters
CHAPTER IV. Making Our Bed—Assaults by the Unabridged—At a Station—Our
Driver a Great and Shining Dignitary—Strange Place for a
Frontyard—Accommodations—Double Portraits—An Heirloom—Our Worthy
Landlord—“Fixings and Things”—An Exile—Slumgullion—A Well Furnished
Table—The Landlord Astonished—Table Etiquette—Wild Mexican Mules—Stage-
coaching and Railroading
CHAPTER V. New Acquaintances—The Cayote—A Dog’s Experiences—A Disgusted
Dog—The Relatives of the Cayote—Meals Taken Away from Home
CHAPTER VI. The Division Superintendent—The Conductor—The Driver—One
Hundred and Fifty Miles’ Drive Without Sleep—Teaching a Subordinate—Our
Old Friend Jack and a Pilgrim—Ben Holliday Compared to Moses
CHAPTER VII. Overland City—Crossing the Platte—Bemis’s Buffalo
Hunt—Assault by a Buffalo—Bemis’s Horse Goes Crazy—An Impromptu Circus—A
New Departure—Bemis Finds Refuge in a Tree—Escapes Finally by a
Wonderful Method
CHAPTER VIII. The Pony Express—Fifty Miles Without Stopping—“Here he
Comes”—Alkali Water—Riding an Avalanche—Indian Massacre
CHAPTER IX. Among the Indians—An Unfair Advantage—Laying on our Arms—A
Midnight Murder—Wrath of Outlaws—A Dangerous, yet Valuable Citizen
CHAPTER X. History of Slade—A Proposed Fist-fight—Encounter with
Jules—Paradise of Outlaws—Slade as Superintendent—As Executioner—A
Doomed Whisky Seller—A Prisoner—A Wife’s Bravery—An Ancient Enemy
Captured—Enjoying a Luxury—Hob-nobbing with Slade—Too Polite—A Happy
Escape
CHAPTER XI. Slade in Montana—“On a Spree”—In Court—Attack on a
Judge—Arrest by the Vigilantes—Turn out of the Miners—Execution of
Slade—Lamentations of His Wife—Was Slade a Coward?
CHAPTER XII. A Mormon Emigrant Train—The Heart of the Rocky
Mountains—Pure Saleratus—A Natural Ice-House—An Entire Inhabitant—In
Sight of “Eternal Snow”—The South Pass—The Parting Streams—An Unreliable
Letter Carrier—Meeting of Old Friends—A Spoiled Watermelon—Down the
Mountain—A Scene of Desolation—Lost in the Dark—Unnecessary
Advice—U.S. Troops and Indians—Sublime Spectacle—Another Delusion
Dispelled—Among the Angels
CHAPTER XIII. Mormons and Gentiles—Exhilarating Drink, and its Effect on
Bemis—Salt Lake City—A Great Contrast—A Mormon Vagrant—Talk with a
Saint—A Visit to the “King”—A Happy Simile
CHAPTER XIV. Mormon Contractors—How Mr. Street Astonished Them—The Case
Before Brigham Young, and How he Disposed of it—Polygamy Viewed from a
New Position
CHAPTER XV. A Gentile Den—Polygamy Discussed—Favorite Wife and D.
4—Hennery for Retired Wives—Children Need Marking—Cost of a Gift to No.
6—A Penny-whistle Gift and its Effects—Fathering the Foundlings—It
Resembled Him—The Family Bedstead
CHAPTER XVI. The Mormon Bible—Proofs of its Divinity—Plagiarism of its
Authors—Story of Nephi—Wonderful Battle—Kilkenny Cats Outdone
CHAPTER XVII. Three Sides to all Questions—Everything “A
Quarter”—Shriveled Up—Emigrants and White Shirts at a Discount—“Forty-
Niners”—Above Par—Real Happiness
CHAPTER XVIII. Alkali Desert—Romance of Crossing Dispelled—Alkali
Dust—Effect on the Mules—Universal Thanksgiving
CHAPTER XIX. The Digger Indians Compared with the Bushmen of
Africa—Food, Life and Characteristics—Cowardly Attack on a Stage Coach—A
Brave Driver—The Noble Red Man
CHAPTER XX. The Great American Desert—Forty Miles on Bones—Lakes Without
Outlets—Greely’s Remarkable Ride—Hank Monk, the Renowned Driver—Fatal
Effects of “Corking” a Story—Bald-Headed Anecdote
CHAPTER XXI. Alkali Dust—Desolation and Contemplation—Carson City—Our
Journey Ended—We are Introduced to Several Citizens—A Strange Rebuke—A
Washoe Zephyr at Play—Its Office Hours—Governor’s Palace—Government
Offices—Our French Landlady Bridget O’Flannigan—Shadow Secrets—Cause for
a Disturbance at Once—The Irish Brigade—Mrs. O’Flannigan’s Boarders—The
Surveying Expedition—Escape of the Tarantulas
CHAPTER XXII. The Son of a Nabob—Start for Lake Tahoe—Splendor of the
Views—Trip on the Lake—Camping Out—Reinvigorating Climate—Clearing a
Tract of Land—Securing a Title—Outhouse and Fences
CHAPTER XXIII. A Happy Life—Lake Tahoe and its Moods—Transparency of the
Waters—A Catastrophe—Fire! Fire!—A Magnificent Spectacle—Homeless
Again—We take to the Lake—A Storm—Return to Carson
CHAPTER XXIV. Resolve to Buy a Horse—Horsemanship in Carson—A
Temptation—Advice Given Me Freely—I Buy the Mexican Plug—My First Ride—A
Good Bucker—I Loan the Plug—Experience of Borrowers—Attempts to
Sell—Expense of the Experiment—A Stranger Taken In
CHAPTER XXV. The Mormons in Nevada—How to Persuade a Loan from
Them—Early History of the Territory—Silver Mines Discovered—The New
Territorial Government—A Foreign One and a Poor One—Its Funny Struggles
for Existence—No Credit, no Cash—Old Abe Currey Sustains it and its
Officers—Instructions and Vouchers—An Indian’s Endorsement—Toll-Gates
CHAPTER XXVI. The Silver Fever—State of the Market—Silver Bricks—Tales
Told—Off for the Humboldt Mines
CHAPTER XXVII. Our manner of going—Incidents of the Trip—A Warm but Too
Familiar a Bedfellow—Mr. Ballou Objects—Sunshine amid Clouds—Safely
Arrived
CHAPTER XXVIII. Arrive at the Mountains—Building Our Cabin—My First
Prospecting Tour—My First Gold Mine—Pockets Filled With
Treasures—Filtering the News to My Companions—The Bubble Pricked—All Not
Gold That Glitters
CHAPTER XXIX. Out Prospecting—A Silver Mine At Last—Making a Fortune
With Sledge and Drill—A Hard Road to Travel—We Own in Claims—A Rocky
Country
CHAPTER XXX. Disinterested Friends—How “Feet” Were Sold—We Quit
Tunnelling—A Trip to Esmeralda—My Companions—An Indian Prophesy—A
Flood—Our Quarters During It
CHAPTER XXXI. The Guests at “Honey Lake Smith’s”—“Bully Old
Arkansas”—“Our Landlord”—Determined to Fight—The Landlord’s Wife—The
Bully Conquered by Her—Another Start—Crossing the Carson—A Narrow
Escape—Following Our Own Track—A New Guide—Lost in the Snow
CHAPTER XXXII. Desperate Situation—Attempts to Make a Fire—Our Horses
leave us—We Find Matches—One, Two, Three and the Last—No Fire—Death
Seems Inevitable—We Mourn Over Our Evil Lives—Discarded Vices—We Forgive
Each Other—An Affectionate Farewell—The Sleep of Oblivion
CHAPTER XXXIII. Return of Consciousness—Ridiculous Developments—A
Station House—Bitter Feelings—Fruits of Repentance—Resurrected Vices
CHAPTER XXXIV. About Carson—General Buncombe—Hyde vs. Morgan—How Hyde
Lost His Ranch—The Great Landslide Case—The Trial—General Buncombe in
Court—A Wonderful Decision—A Serious Afterthought
CHAPTER XXXV. A New Travelling Companion—All Full and No
Accommodations—How Captain Nye found Room—and Caused Our Leaving to be
Lamented—The Uses of Tunnelling—A Notable Example—We Go into the “Claim”
Business and Fail—At the Bottom
CHAPTER XXXVI. A Quartz Mill—Amalgamation—“Screening Tailings”—First
Quartz Mill in Nevada—Fire Assay—A Smart Assayer—I stake for an advance
CHAPTER XXXVII. The Whiteman Cement Mine—Story of its Discovery—A Secret
Expedition—A Nocturnal Adventure—A Distressing Position—A Failure and a
Week’s Holiday
CHAPTER XXXVIII. Mono Lake—Shampooing Made Easy—Thoughtless Act of Our
Dog and the Results—Lye Water—Curiosities of the Lake—Free Hotel—Some
Funny Incidents a Little Overdrawn
CHAPTER XXXIX. Visit to the Islands in Lake Mono—Ashes and
Desolation—Life Amid Death Our Boat Adrift—A Jump For Life—A Storm On
the Lake—A Mass of Soap Suds—Geological Curiosities—A Week On the
Sierras—A Narrow Escape From a Funny Explosion—“Stove Heap Gone”
CHAPTER XL. The “Wide West” Mine—It is “Interviewed” by Higbie—A Blind
Lead—Worth a Million—We are Rich At Last—Plans for the Future
CHAPTER XLI. A Rheumatic Patient—Day Dreams—An Unfortunate Stumble—I
Leave Suddenly—Another Patient—Higbie in the Cabin—Our Balloon
Bursted—Worth Nothing—Regrets and Explanations—Our Third Partner
CHAPTER XLII. What to do Next?—Obstacles I Had Met With—“Jack of All
Trades”—Mining Again—Target Shooting—I Turn City Editor—I Succeed Finely
CHAPTER XLIII. My Friend Boggs—The School Report—Boggs Pays Me An Old
Debt—Virginia City
CHAPTER XLIV. Flush Times—Plenty of Stock—Editorial Puffing—Stocks Given
Me—Salting Mines—A Tragedian In a New Role
CHAPTER XLV. Flush Times Continue—Sanitary Commission Fund—Wild
Enthusiasm of the People—Would not wait to Contribute—The Sanitary Flour
Sack—It is Carried to Gold Hill and Dayton—Final Reception in
Virginia—Results of the Sale—A Grand Total
CHAPTER XLVI. The Nabobs of Those Days—John Smith as a Traveler—Sudden
Wealth—A Sixty-Thousand-Dollar Horse—A Smart Telegraph Operator—A Nabob
in New York City—Charters an Omnibus—“Walk in, It’s All Free”—“You Can’t
Pay a Cent”—“Hold On, Driver, I Weaken”—Sociability of New Yorkers
CHAPTER XLVII. Buck Fanshaw’s Death—The Cause Thereof—Preparations for
His Burial—Scotty Briggs the Committee Man—He Visits the Minister—Scotty
Can’t Play His Hand—The Minister Gets Mixed—Both Begin to See—“All Down
Again But Nine”—Buck Fanshaw as a Citizen—How To “Shook Your Mother”—The
Funeral—Scotty Briggs as a Sunday School Teacher
CHAPTER XLVIII. The First Twenty-Six Graves in Nevada—The Prominent Men
of the County—The Man Who Had Killed His Dozen—Trial by Jury—Specimen
Jurors—A Private Grave Yard—The Desperadoes—Who They Killed—Waking up
the Weary Passenger—Satisfaction Without Fighting
CHAPTER XLIX. Fatal Shooting Affray—Robbery and Desperate Affray—A
Specimen City Official—A Marked Man—A Street Fight—Punishment of Crime