Sartor Resartus: The Life and Opinions of Herr Teufelsdröckh
figure of Demon-Worship, I have, so far as is yet visible, no objection.
"For the rest, these people, animated with the zeal of a new Sect,
display courage and perseverance, and what force there is in man's
nature, though never so enslaved. They affect great purity and
separatism; distinguish themselves by a particular costume (whereof some
notices were given in the earlier part of this Volume); likewise, so
far as possible, by a particular speech (apparently some broken
_Lingua-franca_, or English-French); and, on the whole, strive to
maintain a true Nazarene deportment, and keep themselves unspotted from
the world.
"They have their Temples, whereof the chief, as the Jewish Temple did,
stands in their metropolis; and is named _Almack's_, a word of
uncertain etymology. They worship principally by night; and have their
High-priests and High-priestesses, who, however, do not continue for
life. The rites, by some supposed to be of the Menadic sort, or perhaps
with an Eleusinian or Cabiric character, are held strictly secret.
Nor are Sacred Books wanting to the Sect; these they call _Fashionable
Novels_: however, the Canon is not completed, and some are canonical and
others not.
"Of such Sacred Books I, not without expense, procured myself some
samples; and in hope of true insight, and with the zeal which beseems an
Inquirer into Clothes, set to interpret and study them. But wholly to
no purpose: that tough faculty of reading, for which the world will not
refuse me credit, was here for the first time foiled and set at naught.
In vain that I summoned my whole energies (_mich weidlich anstrengte_),
and did my very utmost; at the end of some short space, I was uniformly
seized with not so much what I can call a drumming in my ears, as a kind
of infinite, unsufferable, Jew's-harping and scrannel-piping there; to
which the frightfullest species of Magnetic Sleep soon supervened. And
if I strove to shake this away, and absolutely would not yield, there
came a hitherto unfelt sensation, as of _Delirium Tremens_, and a
melting into total deliquium: till at last, by order of the Doctor,
dreading ruin to my whole intellectual and bodily faculties, and a
general breaking up of the constitution, I reluctantly but determinedly
forbore. Was there some miracle at work here; like those Fire-balls,
and supernal and infernal prodigies, which, in the case of the Jewish
Mysteries, have also more than once scared back the Alien? Be this as
it may, such failure on my part, after best efforts, must excuse the
imperfection of this sketch; altogether incomplete, yet the completest I
could give of a Sect too singular to be omitted.
"Loving my own life and senses as I do, no power shall induce me, as a
private individual, to open another _Fashionable Novel_. But luckily,
in this dilemma, comes a hand from the clouds; whereby if not victory,
deliverance is held out to me. Round one of those Book-packages, which
the _Stillschweigen'sche Buchhandlung_ is in the habit of importing
from England, come, as is usual, various waste printed-sheets
(_Maculatur-blatter_), by way of interior wrappage: into these the
Clothes-Philosopher, with a certain Mahometan reverence even for
waste-paper, where curious knowledge will sometimes hover, disdains not
to cast his eye. Readers may judge of his astonishment when on such
a defaced stray-sheet, probably the outcast fraction of some English
Periodical, such as they name _Magazine_, appears something like a
Dissertation on this very subject of _Fashionable Novels_! It sets out,
indeed, chiefly from a Secular point of view; directing itself, not
without asperity, against some to me unknown individual named _Pelham_,
who seems to be a Mystagogue, and leading Teacher and Preacher of the
Sect; so that, what indeed otherwise was not to be expected in such a
fugitive fragmentary sheet, the true secret, the Religious physiognomy
and physiology of the Dandiacal Body, is nowise laid fully open there.
Nevertheless, scattered lights do from time to time sparkle out, whereby
I have endeavored to profit. Nay, in one passage selected from the
Prophecies, or Mythic Theogonies, or whatever they are (for the style
seems very mixed) of this Mystagogue, I find what appears to be a
Confession of Faith, or Whole Duty of Man, according to the tenets of
that Sect. Which Confession or Whole Duty, therefore, as proceeding
from a source so authentic, I shall here arrange under Seven distinct
Articles, and in very abridged shape lay before the German world;
therewith taking leave of this matter. Observe also, that to avoid
possibility of error, I, as far as may be, quote literally from the
Original:--
ARTICLES OF FAITH.
'1. Coats should have nothing of the triangle about them; at the same
time, wrinkles behind should be carefully avoided.
'2. The collar is a very important point: it should be low behind, and
slightly rolled.
'3. No license of fashion can allow a man of delicate taste to adopt the
posterial luxuriance of a Hottentot.
'4. There is safety in a swallow-tail.
'5. The good sense of a gentleman is nowhere more finely developed than
in his rings.
'6. It is permitted to mankind, under certain restrictions, to wear
white waistcoats.
'7. The trousers must be exceedingly tight across the hips.'
"All which Propositions I, for the present, content myself with modestly
but peremptorily and irrevocably denying.
"In strange contrast with this Dandiacal Body stands another British
Sect, originally, as I understand, of Ireland, where its chief seat
still is; but known also in the main Island, and indeed everywhere
rapidly spreading. As this Sect has hitherto emitted no Canonical Books,
it remains to me in the same state of obscurity as the Dandiacal, which
has published Books that the unassisted human faculties are inadequate
to read. The members appear to be designated by a considerable diversity
of names, according to their various places of establishment: in England
they are generally called the _Drudge_ Sect; also, unphilosophically
enough, the _White Negroes_; and, chiefly in scorn by those of other
communions, the _Ragged-Beggar_ Sect. In Scotland, again, I find them
entitled _Hallanshakers_, or the _Stook of Duds_ Sect; any individual
communicant is named _Stook of Duds_ (that is, Shock of Rags), in
allusion, doubtless, to their professional Costume. While in Ireland,
which, as mentioned, is their grand parent hive, they go by a perplexing
multiplicity of designations, such as _Bogtrotters, Redshanks,
Ribbonmen, Cottiers, Peep-of-Day Boys, Babes of the Wood, Rockites,
Poor-Slaves_: which last, however, seems to be the primary and generic
name; whereto, probably enough, the others are only subsidiary species,
or slight varieties; or, at most, propagated offsets from the parent
stem, whose minute subdivisions, and shades of difference, it were
here loss of time to dwell on. Enough for us to understand, what seems
indubitable, that the original Sect is that of the _Poor-Slaves_;
whose doctrines, practices, and fundamental characteristics pervade and
animate the whole Body, howsoever denominated or outwardly diversified.
"The precise speculative tenets of this Brotherhood: how the Universe,
and Man, and Man's Life, picture themselves to the mind of an Irish
Poor-Slave; with what feelings and opinions he looks forward on the
Future, round on the Present, back on the Past, it were extremely
difficult to specify. Something Monastic there appears to be in their
Constitution: we find them bound by the two Monastic Vows, of Poverty
and Obedience; which vows, especially the former, it is said, they
observe with great strictness; nay, as I have understood it, they are
pledged, and be it by any solemn Nazarene ordination or not, irrevocably
consecrated thereto, even _before_ birth. That the third Monastic
Vow, of Chastity, is rigidly enforced among them, I find no ground to
conjecture.
"Furthermore, they appear to imitate the Dandiacal Sect in their grand
principle of wearing a peculiar Costume. Of which Irish Poor-Slave
Costume no description will indeed be found in the present Volume; for
this reason, that by the imperfect organ of Language it did not seem
describable. Their raiment consists of innumerable skirts, lappets
and irregular wings, of all cloths and of all colors; through the
labyrinthic intricacies of which their bodies are introduced by some
unknown process. It is fastened together by a multiplex combination of
buttons, thrums and skewers; to which frequently is added a girdle of
leather, of hempen or even of straw rope, round the loins. To straw
rope, indeed, they seem partial, and often wear it by way of sandals.
In head-dress they affect a certain freedom: hats with partial brim,
without crown, or with only a loose, hinged, or valve crown; in the
former case, they sometimes invert the hat, and wear it brim uppermost,
like a university-cap, with what view is unknown.
"The name Poor-Slaves seems to indicate a Slavonic, Polish, or Russian
origin: not so, however, the interior essence and spirit of their
Superstition, which rather displays a Teutonic or Druidical character.
One might fancy them worshippers of Hertha, or the Earth: for they dig
and affectionately work continually in her bosom; or else, shut up in
private Oratories, meditate and manipulate the substances derived from
her; seldom looking up towards the Heavenly Luminaries, and then with
comparative indifference. Like the Druids, on the other hand, they live
in dark dwellings; often even breaking their glass windows, where they
find such, and stuffing them up with pieces of raiment, or other
opaque substances, till the fit obscurity is restored. Again, like all
followers of Nature-Worship, they are liable to out-breakings of an
enthusiasm rising to ferocity; and burn men, if not in wicker idols, yet
in sod cottages.
"In respect of diet, they have also their observances. All Poor-Slaves
are Rhizophagous (or Root-eaters); a few are Ichthyophagous, and use
Salted Herrings: other animal food they abstain from; except indeed,
with perhaps some strange inverted fragment of a Brahminical feeling,
such animals as die a natural death. Their universal sustenance is the
root named Potato, cooked by fire alone; and generally without condiment
or relish of any kind, save an unknown condiment named _Point_, into
the meaning of which I have vainly inquired; the victual
_Potatoes-and-Point_ not appearing, at least not with specific accuracy
of description, in any European Cookery-Book whatever. For drink, they
use, with an almost epigrammatic counterpoise of taste, Milk, which
is the mildest of liquors, and _Potheen_, which is the fiercest. This
latter I have tasted, as well as the English _Blue-Ruin_, and the Scotch
_Whiskey_, analogous fluids used by the Sect in those countries:
it evidently contains some form of alcohol, in the highest state of
concentration, though disguised with acrid oils; and is, on the whole,
the most pungent substance known to me,--indeed, a perfect liquid
fire. In all their Religious Solemnities, Potheen is said to be an
indispensable requisite, and largely consumed.
"An Irish Traveller, of perhaps common veracity, who presents himself
under the to me unmeaning title of _The late John Bernard_, offers
the following sketch of a domestic establishment, the inmates whereof,
though such is not stated expressly, appear to have been of that Faith.
Thereby shall my German readers now behold an Irish Poor-Slave, as it
were with their own eyes; and even see him at meat. Moreover, in the
so precious waste-paper sheet above mentioned, I have found some
corresponding picture of a Dandiacal Household, painted by that same
Dandiacal Mystagogue, or Theogonist: this also, by way of counterpart