The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
this happy favourite, and be revenged on her petulant rival, she
prevailed upon the jeweller to employ a scout, who should watch all
night upon the stair, without the knowledge of any other person in the
family, alleging, that in all likelihood, the housemaid gave private
admittance to some lover who was the author of all the losses they had
lately suffered, and that they might possibly detect him in his
nocturnal adventures; and observing that it would be imprudent to
intimate their design to Wilhelmina, lest, through the heedlessness and
indiscretion of youth, she might chance to divulge the secret, so as to
frustrate their aim.
A Swiss, in whose honesty the German could confide, being hired for
this purpose, was posted in a dark corner of the staircase, within a
few paces of the door, which he was directed to watch, and actually
stood sentinel three nights, without perceiving the least object of
suspicion; but, on the fourth, the evil stars of our adventurer
conducted him to the spot, on his voyage to the apartment of his
Dulcinea, with whom he had preconcerted the assignation. Having made
the signal, which consisted of two gentle taps on her door, he was
immediately admitted; and the Swiss no sooner saw him fairly housed,
than he crept softly to the other door, that was left open for the
purpose, and gave immediate intimation of what he had perceived. This
intelligence, however, he could not convey so secretly, but the lovers,
who were always vigilant upon these occasions, overheard a sort of
commotion in the jeweller’s chamber, the cause of which their
apprehension was ingenious enough to comprehend.
We have formerly observed that our adventurer could not make his
retreat by the door, without running a very great risk of being
detected, and the expedient of the chimney he had no inclination to
repeat; so that he found himself in a very uncomfortable dilemma, and
was utterly abandoned by all his invention and address, when his
mistress, in a whisper, desired him to begin a dialogue, aloud, in an
apology, importing, that he had mistaken the door, and that his
intention was to visit her father, touching a ring belonging to the
young Count Melvil, which she knew Fathom had put into his hands, in
order to be altered.
Ferdinand, seizing the hint, availed himself of it without delay, and,
unbolting the door, pronounced in an audible voice, “Upon my honour,
Mademoiselle, you wrong my intention, if you imagine I came hither with
any disrespectful or dishonourable motive. I have business with your
father, which cannot be delayed till to-morrow, without manifest
prejudice to my friend and myself; therefore I took the liberty of
visiting him at these untimely hours, and it has been my misfortune to
mistake the door in the dark. I beg pardon for my involuntary
intrusion, and again assure you, that nothing was farther from my
thoughts than any design to violate that respect which I have always
entertained for you and your father’s family.”
To this remonstrance, which was distinctly heard by the German and his
wife, who by this time stood listening at the door, the young lady
replied, in a shrill accent of displeasure, “Sir, I am bound to believe
that all your actions are conducted by honour; but you must give me
leave to tell you, that your mistake is a little extraordinary, and
your visit, even to my father, at this time of the night, altogether
unseasonable, if not mysterious. As for the interruption I have
suffered in my repose, I impute it to my own forgetfulness, in leaving
my door unlocked, and blame myself so severely for the omission, that I
shall, to-morrow, put it out of my own power to be guilty of the like
for the future, by ordering the passage to be nailed up; meanwhile, if
you would persuade me of your well-meaning, you will instantly
withdraw, lest my reputation should suffer by your continuance in my
apartment.”
“Madam,” answered our hero, “I will not give you an opportunity to
repeat the command, which I shall forthwith obey, after having
entreated you once more to forgive the disturbance I have given.” So
saying, he gently opened the door, and, at sight of the German and his
wife, who, he well knew, waited for his exit, started back, and gave
tokens of confusion, which was partly real and partly affected. The
jeweller, fully satisfied with Fathom’s declaration to his daughter,
received him with a complaisant look, and, in order to alleviate his
concern, gave him to understand, that he already knew the reason of his
being in that apartment, and desired to be informed of what had
procured him the honour to see him at such a juncture.
“My dear friend,” said our adventurer, pretending to recollect himself
with difficulty, “I am utterly ashamed and confounded to be discovered
in this situation; but, as you have overheard what passed between
Mademoiselle and me, I know you will do justice to my intention, and
forgive my mistake. After begging pardon for having intruded upon your
family at these hours, I must now tell you that my cousin, Count
Melvil, was some time ago so much misrepresented to his mother by
certain malicious informers, who delight in sowing discord in private
families, that she actually believed her son an extravagant
spendthrift, who had not only consumed his remittances in the most
riotous scenes of disorder, but also indulged a pernicious appetite for
gaming, to such a degree, that he had lost all his clothes and jewels
at play. In consequence of such false information, she expostulated
with him in a severe letter, and desired he would transmit to her that
ring which is in your custody, it being a family stone, for which she
expressed an inestimable value. The young gentleman, in his answer to
her reproof, endeavoured to vindicate himself from the aspersions which
had been cast upon his character, and, with regard to the ring, told
her it was at present in the hands of a jeweller, in order to be new
set according to her own directions, and that, whenever it should be
altered, he would send it home to her by some safe conveyance. This
account the good lady took for an evasion, and upon that supposition
has again written to him, in such a provoking style, that, although the
letter arrived but half an hour ago, he is determined to despatch a
courier before morning with the mischievous ring, for which, in
compliance with the impetuosity of his temper, I have taken the freedom
to disturb you at this unseasonable hour.”
The German paid implicit faith to every circumstance of his story,
which indeed could not well be supposed to be invented extempore; the
ring was immediately restored, and our adventurer took his leave,
congratulating himself upon his signal deliverance from the snare in
which he had fallen.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
THE STEP-DAME’S SUSPICIONS BEING AWAKENED, SHE LAYS A SNARE FOR OUR
ADVENTURER, FROM WHICH HE IS DELIVERED BY THE INTERPOSITION OF HIS GOOD
GENIUS.
Though the husband swallowed the bait without further inquiry, the
penetration of the wife was not so easily deceived. That same dialogue
in Wilhelmina’s apartment, far from allaying, rather inflamed her
suspicion; because, in the like emergency, she herself had once
profited by the same, or nearly the same contrivance. Without
communicating her doubts to the father, she resolved to double her
attention to the daughter’s future conduct, and keep such a strict eye
over the behaviour of our gallant, that he should find it very
difficult, if not impossible, to elude her observation. For this
purpose she took into her pay an old maiden, of the right sour
disposition, who lived in a house opposite to her own, and directed her
to follow the young lady in all her outgoings, whenever she should
receive from the window a certain signal, which the mother-in-law
agreed to make for the occasion. It was not long before this scheme
succeeded to her wish. The door of communication betwixt Wilhelmina’s
apartment and the staircase being nailed up by the jeweller’s express
order, our adventurer was altogether deprived of those opportunities he
had hitherto enjoyed, and was not at all mortified to find himself so
restricted in a correspondence which began to be tiresome and
disagreeable. But the case was far otherwise with his Dulcinea, whose
passion, the more it was thwarted, raged with greater violence, like a
fire, that, from the attempts that are made to extinguish it, gathers
greater force, and flames with double fury.
Upon the second day of her misfortune, she had written a very tender
billet, lamenting her unhappiness in being deprived of those meetings
which constituted the chief joy of her life, and entreating him to
contrive some means of renewing the delicious commerce in an
unsuspected place. This intimation she proposed to convey privately
into the hand of her lover, during his next visit to the family; but
both were so narrowly eyed by the mother, that she found the execution
of her design impracticable; and next forenoon, on pretence of going to
church, repaired to the house of a companion, who, being also her
confidant, undertook to deliver the billet with her own hand.
The she-dragon employed by her mother, in obedience to the sign which
was displayed from the window immediately put on her veil, and followed
Wilhelmina at a distance, until she saw her fairly housed. She would
not even then return from her excursion, but hovered about in sight of
the door, with a view of making further observations. In less than five
minutes after the young lady disappeared, the scout perceived her
coming out, accompanied by her comrade, from whom she instantly parted,
and bent her way towards the church in good earnest, while the other
steered her course in another direction. The duenna, after a moment’s
suspense and consideration, divined the true cause of this short visit,
and resolved to watch the motions of the confidant, whom she traced to
the academy in which our hero lodged, and from which she saw her
return, after the supposed message was delivered.
Fraught with this intelligence, the rancorous understrapper hied her
home to the jeweller’s wife, and made a faithful recital of what she
had seen, communicating at the same time her own conjectures on that
subject. Her employer was equally astonished and incensed at this
information. She was seized with all that frenzy which takes possession
of a slighted woman, when she finds herself supplanted by a detested
rival; and, in the first transports of her indignation, devoted them as
sacrifices to her vengeance. Nor was her surprise so much the effect of
his dissimulation, as of his want of taste and discernment. She
inveighed against him, not as the most treacherous lover, but as the
most abject wretch, in courting the smiles of such an awkward dowdy,
while he enjoyed the favours of a woman who had numbered princes in the
train of her admirers. For the brilliancy of her attractions, such as
they at present shone, she appealed to the decision of her minister,
who consulted her own satisfaction and interest, by flattering the
other’s vanity and resentment; and so unaccountable did the depravity
of our hero’s judgment appear to this conceited dame, that she began to
believe there was some mistake in the person, and to hope that
Wilhelmina’s gallant was not in reality her professed admirer, Mr.
Fathom, but rather one of his fellow-lodgers, whose passion he favoured
with his mediation and assistance.
On this notion, which nothing but mere vanity could have inspired, in
opposition to so many more weighty presumptions, she took the
resolution of bringing the affair to a fuller explanation, before she
would concert any measures to the prejudice of our adventurer, and
forthwith despatched her spy back to his lodgings, to solicit, on the