The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
of that house, as he could give no satisfactory account of himself, and
was possessed of things of such value as no honest man could expose to
the accidents of the road.
Fathom, having thus found an interpreter, who signified to him, in the
French tongue, the doubts of the justice, told his lordship, that he
was a gentleman of a noble house in Germany, who, for certain reasons,
had come abroad incognito, with a view to see the world; and that,
although the letters they had seized would prove the truth of that
assertion, he should be loth to expose his private concerns to the
knowledge of strangers, if he could possibly be released without that
mortification. The young nobleman explained his desire to the court;
but, his own curiosity being interested, observed, at the same time,
that the justice could not be said to have discharged the duties of his
station, until he should have examined every circumstance relating to
the prisoner. Upon which remonstrance, he was requested by the bench to
peruse the papers, and accordingly communicated the substance of one
letter to this effect:—
“MY DEAR SON,
Though I am far from approving the rash step you have taken in
withdrawing yourself from your father’s house, in order to avoid an
engagement which would have been equally honourable and advantageous to
your family, I cannot so far suppress my affection, as to bear the
thought of your undergoing those hardships which, for your
disobedience, you deserve to suffer. I have therefore, without the
knowledge of your father, sent the bearer to attend you in your
peregrinations; his fidelity you know hath been tried in a long course
of service, and I have entrusted to his care, for your use, a purse of
two hundred ducats, and a box of jewels to the value of twice that sum,
which, though not sufficient to support an equipage suitable to your
birth, will, at least for some time, preserve you from the
importunities of want. When you are dutiful enough to explain your
designs and situation, you may expect further indulgence from your
tender and disconsolate mother,—
THE COUNTESS OF FATHOM.”
This letter, which, as well as the others, our hero had forged for the
purpose, effectually answered his intent, in throwing dust in the eyes
and understanding of the spectators, who now regarded the prisoner with
looks of respectful remorse, as a man of quality who had been falsely
accused. His lordship, to make a parade of his own politeness and
importance, assured the bench, he was no stranger to the family of the
Fathoms, and, with a compliment, gave Ferdinand to understand he had
formerly seen him at Versailles. There being no longer room for
suspicion, the justice ordered our adventurer to be set at liberty, and
even invited him to be seated, with an apology for the rude manner in
which he had been treated, owing to the misinformation of the accuser,
who was threatened with the stocks, for his malice and presumption.
But this was not the only triumph our hero obtained over the wine
merchant. Maurice was no sooner unfettered, than, advancing into the
middle of the room, “My lord,” said he, addressing himself in French to
his master’s deliverer, “since you have been so generous as to protect
a noble stranger from the danger of such a false accusation, I hope you
will still lay an additional obligation upon the Count, by retorting
the vengeance of the law upon his perfidious accuser, whom I know to be
a trader in those articles of merchandise which are prohibited by the
ordinances of this nation. I have seen him lately at Boulogne, and am
perfectly well acquainted with some persons who have supplied him with
French lace and embroidery; and, as a proof of what I allege, I desire
you will order him and this barber, who is his understrapper, to be
examined on the spot.”
This charge, which was immediately explained to the bench, yielded
extraordinary satisfaction to the spectators, one of whom, being an
officer of the customs, forthwith began to exercise his function upon
the unlucky perruquier, who, being stripped of his upper garments, and
even of his shirt, appeared like the mummy of an Egyptian king, most
curiously rolled up in bandages of rich figured gold shalloon, that
covered the skirts of four embroidered waistcoats. The merchant, seeing
his expectation so unhappily reversed, made an effort to retire with a
most rueful aspect, but was prevented by the officer, who demanded the
interposition of the civil power, that he might undergo the same
examination to which the other had been subjected. He was accordingly
rifled without loss of time, and the inquiry proved well worth the care
of him who made it; for a considerable booty of the same sort of
merchandise was found in his boots, breeches, hat, and between the
buckram and lining of his surtout. Yet, not contented with this prize,
the experienced spoiler proceeded to search his baggage, and,
perceiving a false bottom in his portmanteau, detected beneath it a
valuable accession to the plunder he had already obtained.
CHAPTER THIRTY
THE SINGULAR MANNER OF FATHOM’S ATTACK AND TRIUMPH OVER THE VIRTUE OF
THE FAIR ELENOR.
Proper cognisance being thus taken of these contraband effects, and the
informer furnished with a certificate, by which he was entitled to a
share of the seizure, the coachman summoned his passengers to the
carriage; the purse and jewels were restored to Count Fathom, who
thanked the justice, and his lordship in particular, for the candour
and hospitality with which he had been treated, and resumed his place
in the vehicle, amidst the congratulations of all his
fellow-travellers, except the two forlorn smugglers, who, instead of
re-embarking in the coach, thought proper to remain at the inn, with
view to mitigate, if possible, the severity of their misfortune.
Among those who felicitated Fathom upon the issue of this adventure,
the young maiden seemed to express the most sensible pleasure at that
event. The artful language of his eyes had raised in her breast certain
fluttering emotions, before she knew the value of her conquest; but now
that his rank and condition were discovered, these transports were
increased by the ideas of vanity and ambition, which are mingled with
the first seeds of every female constitution. The belief of having
captivated the heart of a man who could raise her to the rank and
dignity of a countess, produced such agreeable sensations in her fancy,
that her eyes shone with unusual lustre, and a continual smile played
in dimples on her rosy cheeks; so that her attractions, though not
powerful enough to engage the affection, were yet sufficient to inflame
the desire of our adventurer, who very honestly marked her chastity for
prey to his voluptuous passion. Had she been well seasoned with
knowledge and experience, and completely armed with caution against the
artifice and villany of man, her virtue might not have been able to
withstand the engines of such an assailant, considering the dangerous
opportunities to which she was necessarily exposed. How easy then must
his victory have been over an innocent, unsuspecting country damsel,
flushed with the warmth of youth, and an utter stranger to the ways of
life!
While Obadiah, therefore, and his plump companion, were engaged in
conversation, on the strange incidents which had passed, Fathom acted a
very expressive pantomime with this fair buxom nymph, who comprehended
his meaning with surprising facility, and was at so little pains to
conceal the pleasure she took in this kind of intercourse, that several
warm squeezes were interchanged between her and her lover, before they
arrived at Rochester, where they proposed to dine. It was during this
period, he learned from the answers she made to the inquisitive quaker,
that her sole dependence was upon a relation, to whom she had a letter,
and that she was a perfect stranger in the great city; circumstances on
which he soon formed the project of her ruin.
Upon their arrival at the Black Bull, he for the first time found
himself alone with his Amanda, whose name was Elenor, their
fellow-travellers being elsewhere employed about their own concerns;
and, unwilling to lose the precious opportunity, he began to act the
part of a very importunate lover, which he conceived to be a proper
sequel to the prelude which had been performed in the coach. The
freedoms which she, out of pure simplicity and good-humour, permitted
him to take with her hand, and even her rosy lips, encouraged him to
practise other familiarities upon her fair bosom, which scandalised her
virtue so much, that, in spite of the passion she had begun to indulge
in his behalf, she rejected his advances with all the marks of anger
and disdain; and he found it necessary to appease the storm he had
raised, by the most respectful and submissive demeanour; resolving to
change his operations, and carry on his attacks, so as to make her
yield at discretion, without alarming her religion or pride.
Accordingly, when the bill was called after dinner, he took particular
notice of her behaviour, and, perceiving her pull out a large leathern
purse that contained her money, reconnoitred the pocket in which it was
deposited, and, while they sat close to each other in the carriage,
conveyed it with admirable dexterity into an hole in the cushion.
Whether the corpulent couple, who sat opposite to these lovers, had
entered into an amorous engagement at the inn, or were severally
induced by other motives, is uncertain; but sure it is, both left the
coach on that part of the road which lies nearest to Gravesend, and
bade adieu to the other pair, on pretence of having urgent business at
that place.
Ferdinand, not a little pleased at their departure, renewed his most
pathetic expressions of love, and sung several French songs on that
tender subject, which seemed to thrill to the soul of his beauteous
Helen. While the driver halted at Dartford to water his horses, she was
smit with the appearance of some cheesecakes, which were presented by
the landlady of the house, and having bargained for two or three, put
her hand in her pocket, in order to pay for her purchase; but what was
her astonishment, when, after having rummaged her equipage, she
understood her whole fortune was lost! This mishap was, by a loud
shriek, announced to our hero, who affected infinite amazement and
concern; and no sooner learned the cause of her affliction, than he
presented her with his own purse, from which he, in emphatic dumb show,
begged she would indemnify herself for the damage she had sustained.
Although this kind proffer was some alleviation of her misfortunes, she
did not fail to pour forth a most piteous lamentation, importing that
she had not only lost all her money, amounting to five pounds, but also
her letter of recommendation, upon which she had altogether relied for
present employment.
The vehicle was minutely searched from top to bottom, by herself and
our adventurer, assisted by Maurice and the coachman, who, finding
their inquiry ineffectual, did not scruple to declare his suspicion of
the two fat turtles who had deserted the coach in such an abrupt
manner. In a word, he rendered this conjecture so plausible, by
wresting the circumstances of their behaviour and retreat, that poor
Elenor implicitly believed they were the thieves by whom she had
suffered; and was prevailed upon to accept the proffered assistance of
the generous Count, who, seeing her very much disordered by this
mischance, insisted upon her drinking a large glass of canary, to quiet
the perturbation of her spirits. This is a season, which of all others
is most propitious to the attempts of an artful lover; and justifies
the metaphorical maxim of fishing in troubled waters. There is an