The Adventures of Ferdinand Count Fathom — Complete
woman is exempted. In short, this consummate politician taught his
agent to poison the young lady’s mind with insidious conversation,
tending to inspire her with the love of guilty pleasure, to debauch her
sentiments, and confound her ideas of dignity and virtue. After all,
the task is not difficult to lead the unpractised heart astray, by dint
of those opportunities her seducer possessed. The seeds of insinuation
seasonably sown upon the warm luxuriant soil of youth, could hardly
fail of shooting up into such intemperate desires as he wanted to
produce, especially when cultured and cherished in her unguarded hours,
by that stimulating discourse which familiarity admits, and the looser
passions, ingrafted in every breast, are apt to relish and excuse.
Fathom had previously reconnoitred the ground, and discovered some
marks of inflammability in Mademoiselle’s constitution; her beauty was
not such as to engage her in those gaieties of amusement which could
flatter her vanity and dissipate her ideas; and she was of an age when
the little loves and young desires take possession of the fancy; he
therefore concluded, that she had the more leisure to indulge these
enticing images of pleasure that youth never fails to create,
particularly in those who, like her, were addicted to solitude and
study.
Teresa, full fraught with the wily injunctions of her confederate, took
the field, and opened the campaign with such remarkable sourness in her
aspect when Ferdinand appeared, that her young lady could not help
taking notice of her affected chagrin, and asked the reason of such
apparent alteration in her way of thinking. Prepared for this question,
the other replied, in a manner calculated for giving Mademoiselle to
understand, that, whatever impressions Ferdinand might have formerly
made on her heart, they were now altogether effaced by the pride and
insolence with which he had received her advances; and that her breast
now glowed with all the revenge of a slighted lover.
To evince the sincerity of this declaration, she bitterly inveighed
against him, and even affected to depreciate those talents, in which
she knew his chief merit to consist; hoping, by these means, to
interest Mademoiselle’s candour in his defence. So far the train
succeeded. That young lady’s love for truth was offended at the
calumnies that were vented against Ferdinand in his absence. She chid
her woman for the rancour of her remarks, and undertook to refute the
articles of his dispraise. Teresa supported her own assertions with
great obstinacy, and a dispute ensued, in which her mistress was heated
into some extravagant commendations of our adventurer.
His supposed enemy did not fail to make a report of her success, and to
magnify every advantage they had gained; believing, in good earnest,
that her lady’s warmth was the effect of a real passion for the
fortunate Mr. Fathom. But he himself viewed the adventure in a
different light, and rightly imputed the violence of Mademoiselle’s
behaviour to the contradiction she had sustained from her maid, or to
the fire of her natural generosity glowing in behalf of innocence
traduced. Nevertheless, he was perfectly well pleased with the nature
of the contest; because, in the course of such debates, he foresaw that
he should become habitually her hero, and that, in time, she would
actually believe those exaggerations of his merit, which she herself
had feigned, for the honour of her own arguments.
This presage, founded upon that principle of self-respect, without
which no individual exists, may certainly be justified by manifold
occurrences in life. We ourselves have known a very pregnant example,
which we shall relate, for the emolument of the reader. A certain needy
author having found means to present a manuscript to one of those sons
of fortune who are dignified with the appellation of patrons, instead
of reaping that applause and advantage with which he had regaled his
fancy, had the mortification to find his performance treated with
infinite irreverence and contempt, and, in high dudgeon and
disappointment, appealed to the judgment of another critic, who, he
knew, had no veneration for the first.
This common consolation, to which all baffled authors have recourse,
was productive of very happy consequences to our bard; for, though the
opinions of both judges concerning the piece were altogether the same,
the latter, either out of compassion to the appellant, or desire of
rendering his rival ridiculous in the eye of taste, undertook to repair
the misfortune, and in this manner executed the plan. In a meeting of
literati, to which both these wits belonged, he who had espoused the
poet’s cause, having previously desired another member to bring his
composition on the carpet, no sooner heard it mentioned, than he began
to censure it with flagrant marks of scorn, and, with an ironical air,
looking at its first condemner, observed, that he must be furiously
infected with the rage of patronising, who could take such a deplorable
performance into his protection. The sarcasm took effect.
The person against whom it was levelled, taking umbrage at his
presumption, assumed an aspect of disdain, and replied with great
animosity, that nothing was more easily supported than the character of
a Zoilus, because no production was altogether free from blemishes; and
any man might pronounce against any piece by the lump, without
interesting his own discernment; but to perceive the beauties of a
work, it was requisite to have learning, judgment, and taste; and
therefore he did not wonder that the gentleman had overlooked a great
many in the composition which he so contemptuously decried. A rejoinder
succeeded this reply, and produced a long train of altercation, in
which the gentleman, who had formerly treated the book with such
disrespect, now professed himself its passionate admirer, and held
forth in praise of it with great warmth and elocution.
Not contented with having exhibited this instance of regard, he next
morning sent a message to the owner, importing, that he had but
superficially glanced over the manuscript, and desiring the favour of
perusing it a second time. Being indulged in this request, he
recommended it in terms of rapture to all his friends and dependants,
and, by dint of unwearied solicitation, procured a very ample
subscription for the author.
But, to resume the thread of our story. Teresa’s practices were not
confined to simple defamation. Her reproaches were contrived so as to
imply some intelligence in favour of the person she reviled. In
exemplifying his pertness and arrogance, she repeated his witty
repartee; on pretence of blaming his ferocity, she recounted proofs of
his spirit and prowess; and, in explaining the source of his vanity,
gave her mistress to understand, that a certain young lady of fashion
was said to be enamoured of his person. Nor did this well-instructed
understrapper omit those other parts of her cue which the principal
judged necessary for the furtherance of his scheme. Her conversation
became less guarded, and took a freer turn than usual; she seized all
opportunities of introducing little amorous stories, the greatest part
of which were invented for the purposes of warming her passions, and
lowering the price of chastity in her esteem; for she represented all
the young lady’s contemporaries in point of age and situation, as so
many sensualists, who, without scruple, indulged themselves in the
stolen pleasures of youth.
Meanwhile, Ferdinand seconded these endeavours with his whole industry
and address. He redoubled, if possible, his deference and respect,
whetting his assiduity to the keenest edge of attention; and, in short,
regulated his dress, conversation, and deportment, according to the
fancy, turn, and prevailing humour of his young mistress. He, moreover,
attempted to profit by her curiosity, which he knew to be truly
feminine; and having culled from the library of his patron certain
dangerous books, calculated to debauch the minds of young people, left
them occasionally upon the table in his apartment, after having
directed Teresa to pick them up, as if by accident, in his absence, and
carry them off for the entertainment of Mademoiselle; nay, this crafty
projector found means to furnish his associate with some mischievous
preparations, which were mingled in her chocolate, tea, or coffee, as
provocations to warm her constitution; yet all these machinations,
ingenious as they were, failed, not only in fulfilling their aim, but
even in shaking the foundations of her virtue or pride, which stood
their assaults unmoved, like a strong tower built upon a rock,
impregnable to all the tempestuous blasts of heaven.
Not but that the conspirators were more than once mistaken in the
effects of their artifices, and disposed to applaud themselves on the
progress they had made. When at any time she expressed a desire to
examine those performances which were laid before her as snares to
entrap her chastity, they attributed that, which was no other than
curiosity, to a looseness of sentiment; and when she discovered no
aversion to hear those anecdotes concerning the frailty of her
neighbours, they imputed to abatement of chastity that satisfaction
which was the result of self-congratulation on her own superior virtue.
So far did the treacherous accomplice of Fathom presume upon these
misconstructions, that she at length divested her tongue of all
restraint, and behaved in such a manner, that the young lady,
confounded and incensed at her indecency and impudence, rebuked her
with great severity, and commanded her to reform her discourse, on pain
of being dismissed with disgrace from her service.
CHAPTER NINE
THE CONFEDERATES CHANGE THEIR BATTERY, AND ACHIEVE A REMARKABLE
ADVENTURE.
Thunderstruck at this disappointment, the confederates held a council,
in order to deliberate upon the next measures that should be taken; and
Ferdinand, for the present, despairing of accomplishing his grand aim,
resolved to profit in another manner, by the conveniency of his
situation. He represented to his helpmate, that it would be prudent for
them to make hay while the sun shone, as their connexion might be
sooner or later discovered, and an end put to all those opportunities
which they now so happily enjoyed. All principles of morality had been
already excluded from their former plan; consequently he found it an
easy task to interest Teresa in any other scheme tending to their
mutual advantage, howsoever wicked and perfidious it might be. He
therefore persuaded her to be his auxiliary in defrauding Mademoiselle
at play, and gave her suitable directions for that purpose; and even
tutored her how to abuse the trust reposed in her, by embezzling the
young lady’s effects, without incurring the suspicion of dishonesty.
On the supposition that every servant in the house was not able to
resist such temptation, the purse of her mistress, to which the maid
had always access, was dropped in a passage which the domestics had
occasion to frequent; and Fathom posted himself in a convenient place,
in order to observe the effect of his stratagem. Here he was not
disappointed in his conjecture. The first person who chanced to pass
that way, was one of the chambermaids, with whom Teresa had lived for
some time in a state of inveterate enmity, because the wench had failed
in that homage and respect which was paid to her by the rest of the
servants.
Ferdinand had, in his heart, espoused the quarrel of his associate, and
longed for an occasion to deliver her from the malicious observance of
such an antagonist. When he, therefore, saw her approach, his heart
throbbed with joyful expectations; but, when she snatched up the purse,