The Adventures of Roderick Random
with “Anan!” Upon which this Cambro Briton, with great earnestness and
humanity, ordered the tar to run to his messmate, and keep him alive
till he should come with the medicine, “and then,” said he, “you shall
peradventure pehold what you shall see.”
The poor fellow, with great simplicity, ran to the place where the sick
man lay, but in less than a minute returned with a woful countenance,
and told us his comrade had struck. Morgan, hearing this, exclaimed,
“Mercy upon my salvation! why did you not stop him till I came?” “Stop
him!” said the other; “I hailed him several times, but he was too far
on his way, and the enemy had got possession of his close quarters; so
that he did not mind me.” “Well, well,” said he, “we all owe heaven a
teath. Go your ways, you ragamuffin, and take an example and a warning,
look you, and repent of your misteets.” So saying, he pushed the seaman
out of the berth.
While we entertained us with reflections suitable to this event, we
heard the boatswain pipe to dinner; and immediately the boy belonging
to our mess ran to the locker, from whence he carried off a large
wooden platter, and, in a few minutes, returned with it full of boiled
peas, crying “Scaldings” all the way as he came. The cloth, consisting
of a piece of an old sail, was instantly laid, covered with three
plates, which by the colour I could with difficulty discern to be
metal, and as many spoons of the same composition, two of which were
curtailed in the handles, and the other abridged in the lip. Mr. Morgan
himself enriched this mess with a lump of salt butter scooped from an
old gallipot, and a handful of onions shorn, with some pounded pepper.
I was not very much tempted with the appearance of this dish, of which,
nevertheless, my messmates ate heartily, advising me to follow their
example, as it was banyan day and we could have no meat till next noon.
But I had already laid in sufficient for the occasion, and therefore
desired to be excused: expressing a curiosity to know the meaning of
banyan day. They told me, that, on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays,
the ship’s company had no allowance of meat, and that these meagre days
were called banyan days, the reason of which they did not know; but I
have since learned they take their denomination from a sect of devotees
in some parts of the East Indies, who never taste flesh.
After dinner Thompson led me round the ship, showed me the different
parts, described their uses, and, as far as he could, made me
acquainted with the particulars of the discipline and economy practised
on board. He then demanded of the boatswain a hammock for me, which was
slung in a very neat manner by my friend Jack Rattlin; and, as I had no
bed-clothes, procured credit for me with the purser, for a mattress and
two blankets. At seven o’clock in the evening Morgan visited the sick,
and, having ordered what was proper for each, I assisted Thompson in
making up his prescriptions: but when I followed him with the medicines
into the sick berth, or hospital, and observed the situation of the
patients, I was much less surprised that people should die on board,
than that a sick person should recover. Here I saw about fifty
miserable distempered wretches, suspended in rows, so huddled one upon
another, that not more than fourteen inches space was allotted for each
with his bed and bedding; and deprived of the light of the day, as well
as of fresh air; breathing nothing but a noisome atmosphere of the
morbid steams exhaling from their own excrements and diseased bodies,
devoured with vermin hatched in the filth that surrounded them, and
destitute of every convenience necessary for people in that helpless
condition.
CHAPTER XXVI
A disagreeable accident happens to me in the discharge of my
office—Morgan’s nose is offended—a dialogue between him and the Ship’s
steward—upon examination, I find more causes of complaint than one—my
hair is cut off—Morgan’s cookery—the manner of sleeping on board—I am
waked in the night by a dreadful noise
I could not comprehend how it was possible for the attendants to come
near those who hung on the inside towards the sides of the ship, in
order to assist them, as they seemed barricadoed by those who lay on
the outside, and entirely out of the reach of all visitation; much less
could I conceive how my friend Thompson would be able to administer
clysters, that were ordered for some, in that situation; when I saw him
thrust his wig in his pocket, and strip himself to his waistcoat in a
moment, then creep on all fours under the hammocks of the sick, and,
forcing up his bare pate between two, keep them asunder with one
shoulder, until he had done his duty. Eager to learn the service, I
desired he would give me leave to perform the next operation of that
kind; and he consenting, I undressed myself after his example, and
crawling along, the ship happened to roll: this motion alarming me, I
laid hold of the first thing that came within my grasp with such
violence, that I overturned it, and soon found, by the smell that
issued upon me, that I had unlocked a box of the most delicious
perfume. It was well for me that my nose was none of the most delicate,
else I know not how I might have been affected by this vapour, which
diffused itself all over the ship, to the utter discomposure of
everybody who tarried on the same dock! neither was the consequence of
this disgrace confined to my sense of smelling only; for I felt my
misfortune more ways than one. That I might not, however, appear
altogether disconcerted in this my first essay, I got up, and, pushing
my head with great force between two hammocks, towards the middle,
where the greatest resistance was, I made an opening indeed, but, not
understanding the knack of dexterously turning my shoulder to maintain
my advantage, had the mortification to find myself stuck up, as it
were, in a pillory, and the weight of three or four people bearing on
each side of my neck, so that I was in danger of strangulation. While I
remained in this defenceless posture, one of the sick men, rendered
peevish by his distemper, was so enraged at the smell I had occasioned
and the rude shock he had received from me in my elevation, that, with
many bitter reproaches, he seized me by the nose, which he tweaked so
unmercifully, that I roared with anguish. Thompson, perceiving my
condition, ordered one of the waiters to my assistance, who, with much
difficulty, disengaged me from this situation, and hindered me from
taking vengeance on the sick man, whose indisposition would not have
screened him from the effects of my indignation.
After having made an end of our ministry for that time, we descended to
the cockpit, my friend comforting me for what had happened with a
homely proverb, which I do not choose to repeat. When we had descended
half-way down the ladder, Mr. Morgan, before he saw us, having
intelligence by his nose of the approach of something extraordinary,
cried, “Cot have mercy upon my senses! I pelieve the enemy has poarded
us in a stinkpot!” Then, directing his discourse to the steward, from
whence he imagined the odour proceeded, he reprimanded him severely for
the freedoms he took among gentlemen of birth, and threatened to smoke
him like a padger with sulphur, if ever he should presume to offend his
neighbours with such smells for the future. The steward, conscious of
his own innocence, replied with some warmth, “I know of no smells but
those of your own making.” This repartee introduced a smart dialogue,
in which the Welshman undertook to prove, that, though the stench he
complained of did not flow from the steward’s own body, he was
nevertheless the author of it, by serving out damaged provisions to the
ship’s company; and, in particular, putrified cheese, from the use of
which only, he affirmed, such unsavoury steams could arise. Then he
launched out into the praise of good cheese, of which he gave the
analysis; explained the different kinds of that commodity, with the
methods practised to make and preserve it, concluded in observing,
that, in yielding good cheese, the county of Glamorgan might vie with
Cheshire itself, and was much superior to it in the produce of goats
and putter.
I gathered from this conversation, that, if I entered in my present
pickle, I should be no welcome guest, and therefore desired Mr.
Thompson to go before, and represent my calamity; at which the first
mate, expressing some concern, went upon deck immediately, taking his
way through the cable-tier and the main hatchway, to avoid encountering
me; desiring me to clean myself as soon as possible: for he intended to
regale himself with a dish of salmagundy and a pipe. Accordingly, I set
about this disagreeable business, and soon found I had more causes of
complaint than I at first imagined; for I perceived some guests had
honoured me with their company, whose visit I did not think seasonable:
neither did they seem inclined to leave me in a hurry, for they were in
possession of my chief quarters, where they fed without reserve at the
expense of my blood. But, considering it would be easier to extirpate
the ferocious colony in the infancy of their settlement, than after
they should be multiplied and naturalised to the soil, I took the
advice of my friend, who, to prevent such misfortunes, went always
close shaved, and made the boy of our mess cut off my hair, which had
been growing since I left the service of Lavement; and the second mate
lent me an old bobwig to supply the loss of that covering. This affair
being ended, and everything adjusted in the best manner my
circumstances would permit, the descendant of Caractacus returned, and,
ordering the boy to bring a piece of salt beef from the brine, cut off
a slice, and mixed it with an equal quantity of onions, which seasoning
with a moderate proportion of pepper and salt, he brought it to a
consistence with oil and vinegar; then, tasting the dish, assured us it
was the best salmagundy that ever he made, and recommended it to our
palate with such heartiness that I could not help doing honour to his
preparation. But I had no sooner swallowed a mouthful, than I thought
my entrails were scorched, and endeavoured with a deluge of small-beer
to allay the heat it occasioned. Supper being over, Mr. Morgan having
smoked a couple of pipes, and supplied the moisture he had expended
with as many cans of flip, of which we all partook, a certain yawning
began to admonish me that it was high time to repair by sleep the
injury I had suffered from want of rest the preceding night; which
being perceived by my companions, whose time of repose was now arrived,
they proposed we should turn in, or in other words, go to bed. Our
hammocks, which hung parallel to one another, on the outside of the
berth, were immediately unlashed, and I beheld my messmates spring with
great agility into their respective nests, where they seemed to lie
concealed, very much at their ease. But it was some time before I could
prevail upon myself to trust my carcase at such a distance from the
ground, in a narrow bag, out of which, I imagined, I should be apt, on
the least motion in my sleep, to tumble down at the hazard of breaking
my bones. I suffered myself, however, to be persuaded, and taking a
leap to get in, threw myself quite over, with such violence, that had I
not luckily got hold of Thompson’s hammock, I should have pitched upon
my head on the other side, and in all likelihood fractured my skull.
After some fruitless efforts, I succeeded at last; but the apprehension
of the jeopardy in which I believed myself withstood all the attacks of
sleep till towards the morning watch, when, in spite of my fears, I was
overpowered with slumber, though I did not long enjoy this comfortable