The Adventures of Roderick Random
situation, being aroused with a noise so loud and shrill, that I
thought the drums of my ears were burst by it; this was followed by a
dreadful summons pronounced by a hoarse voice, which I could not
understand. While I was debating with myself, whether or not I should
wake my companion and inquire into the occasion of this disturbance, I
was informed by one of the quartermasters who passed by me with a
lantern in his hand, that the noise which alarmed me was occasioned by
the boatswain’s mates who called up the larboard watch, and that I must
lay my account with such an interruption every morning at the same
hour. Being now more assured of my safety, I undressed myself again to
rest, and slept till eight o’clock, when rising, and breakfasting with
my comrades on biscuit and brandy, the sick were visited and assisted
as before; after which visitation my good friend Thompson explained and
performed another piece of duty, to which I was a stranger. At a
certain hour in the morning, the boy of the mess went round all the
decks, ringing a small hand-bell, and, in rhymes composed for the
occasion, invited all those who had sores to repair before the mast,
where one of the doctor’s mates attended, with applications to dress
them.
CHAPTER XXVII
I acquire the friendship of the Surgeon, who procures a warrant for me,
and makes me a present of clothes—a battle between a Midshipman and
me—the Surgeon leaves the ship—the Captain comes on board with another
Surgeon—a dialogue between the Captain and Morgan—the sick are ordered
to be brought upon the Quarter-deck and examined—the consequences of
that order—a Madman accuses Morgan, and is set at liberty by command of
the Captain, whom he instantly attacks, and pummels without mercy
While I was busied with my friend in the practice, the doctor chanced
to pass by the place where we were, and stopping to observe me appeared
very well satisfied with my application; and afterwards sent for me to
his cabin, where, having examined me touching my skill in surgery, and
the particulars of my fortune, he interested himself so far in my
behalf, as to promise his assistance in procuring a warrant for me,
seeing I had already been found qualified at Surgeons’ Hall for the
station I filled on board; and in this good office he the more
cordially engaged when he understood I was nephew to lieutenant
Bowling, for whom he expressed a particular regard. In the meantime, I
could learn from his discourse that he did not intend to go to sea
again with Captain Oakum, having, as he thought, been indifferently
used by him during the last voyage.
While I lived tolerably easy, in expectation of preferment, I was not
altogether without mortifications, which I not only suffered from the
rude insults of the sailors and petty officers, among whom I was known
by the name of Loblolly Boy, but also from the disposition of Morgan,
who, though friendly in the main, was often very troublesome with his
pride, which expected a good deal of submission from me, and delighted
in recapitulating the favours I had received at his hands.
About six weeks after my arrival on board, the surgeon, bidding me to
follow him into his cabin, presented a warrant to me, by which I was
appointed surgeon’s third mate on board the Thunder. This he had
procured by his interest at the Navy Office; as also another for
himself, by virtue of which he was removed into a second-rate. I
acknowledged his kindness in the strongest terms my gratitude could
suggest, and professed my sorrow at the prospect of losing so valuable
a friend, to whom I hoped to have recommended myself still further, by
my respectful and diligent behaviour. But his generosity rested not
here; for before he left the ship he made me a present of a chest and
some clothes that enabled me to support the rank to which he had raised
me.
I found my spirit revive with my good fortune; and, now I was an
officer, resolved to maintain the dignity of my station, against all
opposition or affronts; nor was it long before I had occasion to exert
my resolution. My old enemy, the midshipman (whose name was Crampley),
entertaining an implacable animosity against me for the disgrace he had
suffered on my account, had since that time taken all opportunities of
reviling and ridiculing me, when I was not entitled to retort this bad
usage; and, even after I had been rated on the books, and mustered as
surgeon’s mate, did not think fit to restrain his insolence. In
particular, being one day present while I dressed a wound in a sailor’s
leg, he began to sing a song, which I thought highly injurious to the
honour of my country, and therefore signified my resentment, by
observing that the Scots always laid their account with finding enemies
among the ignorant, insignificant, and malicious. This unexpected piece
of assurance enraged him to such a degree, that he lent me a blow on
the face, which I verily thought had demolished my cheek-bone. I was
not slow in returning the obligation, and the affair began to be very
serious, when by accident Mr. Morgan, and one of the master’s mates,
coming that way, interposed, and, inquiring into the cause, endeavoured
to promote a reconciliation; but, finding us both exasperated to the
uttermost, and bent against accommodation, they advised us either to
leave our difference undecided, till we should have an opportunity of
terminating it on shore, like gentlemen, or else choose a proper place
on board, and bring it to an issue by boxing. The last expedient was
greedily embraced by us both; and, being forthwith conducted to the
ground proposed, we stripped in a moment, and began a furious contest,
in which I soon found myself inferior to my antagonist, not so much in
strength and agility, as in skill, which he had acquired in the school
of Hockley-in-the-Hole at Tottenham-court. Many cross buttocks did I
sustain, and pegs on the stomach without number, till at last my breath
being quite gone, as well as my vigour wasted, I grew desperate, and
collecting all my strength in one effort, threw in at once, head,
hands, and feet, with such violence, that I drove my antagonist three
paces backward into the main hatchway, down which he fell, and pitching
upon his head and right shoulder, remained without sense and motion.
Morgan, looking down, and seeing him lie in that condition, cried,
“Upon my conscience, as I am a Christian sinner, (look you,) I believe
his pattles are all ofer; but I take you all to witness that there was
no treachery in the case, and that he has suffered by the chance of
war.” So saying he descended to the deck below, to examine into the
situation of my adversary, and left me very little pleased with my
victory, as I found myself not only terribly bruised, but likewise in
danger of being called to account for the death of Crampley; but this
fear vanished when my fellow-mate having, by bleeding him in the
jugular, brought him to himself, and inquired into the state of his
body, called up to me to be under no concern, for the midshipman had
received no other damage than as pretty a luxation of the os humeri as
one would desire to see on a summer’s day. Upon this information I
crawled down to the cock-pit, and acquainted Thompson with the affair,
who, providing himself with bandages, etc, necessary for the occasion,
went up to assist Mr. Morgan in the reduction of the dislocation. When
this was successfully performed, they wished me joy of the event of the
combat; and the Welshman, after observing, that, in all likelihood, the
ancient Scots and Britons were the same people, bade me “praise Cot for
putting mettle in my pelly, and strength in my limbs to support it.” I
acquired such reputation by this rencontre, which lasted twenty
minutes, that everybody became more cautious in behaviour towards me;
though Crampley, with his arm in a sling, talked very high, and
threatened to seize the first opportunity of retrieving on shore the
honour he had lost by an accident, from which I could justly claim no
merit.
About this time, Captain Oakum, having received sailing orders, came on
board, and brought along with him a surgeon of his own country, who
soon made us sensible of the loss we suffered in the departure of
Doctor Atkins; for he was grossly ignorant, and intolerably assuming,
false, vindictive, and unforgiving; a merciless tyrant to his
inferiors, an abject sycophant to those above him. In the morning after
the captain came on board, our first mate, according to custom, went to
wait on him with a sick list, which, when this grim commander had
perused, he cried with a stern countenance, “Blood and cons! sixty-one
sick people on board of my ship! Harkee, you sir, I’ll have no sick in
my ship, by G—d.” The Welshman replied, “he should be very glad to find
no sick people on board: but, while it was otherwise, he did no more
than his duty in presenting him with a list.” “You and your list may be
d—n’d,” said the captain, throwing it at him; “I say, there shall be no
sick in this ship while I have the command of her.” Mr. Morgan, being
nettled at this treatment, told him his indignation ought to be
directed to Cot Almighty, who visited his people with distempers, and
not to him, who contributed all in his power towards their cure. The
bashaw, not being used to such behaviour in any of his officers, was
enraged to fury at this satirical insinuation, and, stamping with his
foot, called him insolent scoundrel, threatening to have him pinioned
to the deck, if he should presume to utter another syllable. But the
blood of Caractacus being thoroughly heated, disdained to be restricted
by such a command, and began to manifest itself in, “Captain Oakum, I
am a shentleman of birth and parentage (look you), and peradventure I
am moreover.” Here his harangue was broken off by the captain’s
steward, who, being Morgan’s countryman, hurried him out of the cabin
before he had time to exasperate his master to a greater degree, and
this would certainly have been the case; for the indignant Welshman
could hardly be hindered by his friend’s arguments and entreaties from
re-entering the presence-chamber, and defying Captain Oakum to his
teeth. He was, however appeased at length, and came down to the berth,
where, finding Thompson and me at work preparing medicines, he bade us
leave off our lapour to go to play, for the captain, by his sole word,
and power, and command, had driven sickness a pegging to the tevil, and
there was no more malady on board. So saying, he drank off a gill of
brandy, sighed grievously three times, poured fort an ejaculation of
“Cot pless my heart, liver, and lungs!” and then began to sing a Welsh
song with great earnestness of visage, voice, and gesture. I could not
conceive the meaning of this singular phenomenon, and saw by the looks
of Thompson, who at the same time shook his head, that he suspected
poor Cadwallader’s brains were unsettled. He, perceiving our amazement,
told us he would explain the mystery; but at the same time bade us take
notice, that he had lived poy, patchelor, married man, and widower,
almost forty years, and in all that time there was no man, nor mother’s
son in the whole world who durst use him so ill as Captain Oakum had
done. Then he acquainted us with the dialogue that passed between them,
as I have already related it: and had no sooner finished this narration
than he received a message from the surgeon, to bring the sick-list to
the quarter-deck, for the captain had ordered all the patients thither
to be reviewed.
This inhuman order shocked us extremely, as we knew it would be
impossible to carry some of them on the deck, without imminent danger
of their lives: but, as we likewise knew it would be to no purpose for
us to remonstrate against it, we repaired to the quarter-deck in a