The Adventures of Roderick Random
secretary; and he again will speak to one of the lords in my behalf; so
that you see I do not want friends to assist me on occasion. As for the
fellow Crampley, tho’f I know him not, I am sure he is neither seaman
nor officer, by what you have told me, or else he could never be so
much mistaken in his reckoning, as to run the ship on shore on the
coast of Sussex before he believed himself in soundings; neither, when
that accident happened, would he have left the ship until she had been
stove to pieces, especially when the tide was making; wherefore, by
this time, I do suppose, he has been tried by a court-martial, and
executed for his cowardice and misconduct.”
I could not help smiling at the description of my uncle’s ladder, by
which he proposed to climb to the attention of the board of admiralty;
and, though I knew the world too well to confide in such dependence
myself, I would not discourage him with doubts, but asked if he had no
friend in London, who would advance a small sum of money to enable him
to appear as he ought, and make a small present to the under secretary,
who might possibly dispatch his business the sooner on that account. He
scratched his head, and after some recollection, replied, “Why, yes, I
believe Daniel Whipcord, the ship-chandler in Wapping, would not refuse
me such a small matter. I know I can have what credit I want for
lodging, liquor, and clothes; but as to money, I won’t be positive. Had
honest Block been living, I should not have been at loss.” I was
heartily sorry to find a worthy man so destitute of friends, when he
had such need of them, and looked upon my own situation as less
miserable than his, because I was better acquainted with the
selfishness and roguery of mankind, consequently less liable to
disappointment and imposition.
CHAPTER XLII
He takes his passage in a cutter for Deal—we are accosted by a Priest,
who proves to be a Scotchman—his profession on friendship—he is
affronted by the Lieutenant, who afterwards appeases him by
submission—my uncle embarks—I am introduced by a Priest to a Capuchin,
in whose company I set out for Paris—the character of my fellow
traveller—an adventure on the road—I am shocked at his behaviour
When our repast was ended, we walked down to the harbour, where we
found a cutter that was to sail for Deal in the evening, and Mr.
Bowling agreed for his passage. In the meantime, we sauntered about the
town to satisfy our curiosity, our conversation turning on the subject
of my designs, which were not as yet fixed: neither can it be supposed
that my mind was at ease, when I found myself reduced almost to extreme
poverty, in the midst of foreigners, among whom I had not one
acquaintance to advise or befriend me. My uncle was sensible of my
forlorn condition, and pressed me to accompany him to England, where he
did not doubt of finding some sort of provision for me; but besides the
other reasons I had for avoiding that kingdom, I looked upon it, at
this time, as the worst country in the universe for a poor honest man
to live in; and therefore determined to remain in France, at all
events.
I was confirmed in this resolution by a reverend priest, who, passing
by at this time, and overhearing us speak English, accosted us in the
same language, telling us he was our countryman, and wishing it might
be in his power to do us any service. We thanked this grave person for
his courteous offer, and invited him to drink a glass with us, which he
did not think proper to refuse, and we went altogether into a tavern of
his recommending. After having drunk to our healths in a bumper of good
Burgundy, he began to inquire into our situation, particularly the
place of our nativity, which we no sooner named than he started up,
and, wringing our hands with great fervour, shed a flood of tears,
crying, “I come from the same part of the country! perhaps you are my
own relations.” I was on my guard against his caresses, which I
suspected very much, when I remembered the adventure of the
money-dropper; but, without any appearance of diffidence, observed,
that, as he was born in that part of the country, he must certainly
know our families, which (howsoever mean our present appearance might
be) were none of the most obscure or inconsiderable. Then I discovered
our names, to which I found he was no stranger; he had known my
grandfather personally; and, notwithstanding an absence of fifty years
from Scotland, recounted so many particulars of the families in the
neighbourhood, that my scruples were entirely removed, and I thought
myself happy in his acquaintance. In the course of our conversation, I
disclosed my condition without reserve, and displayed my talents to
such advantage, that the old father looked upon me with admiration, and
assured me, that, if I stayed in France, and listened to reason, I
could not fail of making my fortune, to which he would contribute all
in his power.
My uncle began to be jealous of the Priest’s insinuation, and very
abruptly declared, that if ever I should renounce my religion, he would
break off all connection and correspondence with me; for it was his
opinion, that no honest man would swerve from his principles in which
he was bred, whether Turkish, Protestant, or Roman. The father,
affronted at this declaration, with great vehemence began a long
discourse, setting forth the danger of obstinacy, and shutting one’s
eyes against the light. He said, that ignorance would be no plea
towards justification, when we had opportunities of being better
informed; and, that, if the minds of people had not been open to
conviction, the Christian religion could not have been propagated in
the world, and we should now be in a state of Pagan darkness and
barbarity: he endeavoured to prove, by some texts of Scripture and many
quotations from the Fathers, that the Pope was the successor of St.
Peter, and vicar of Jesus Christ; that the church of Rome was the true,
holy, catholic church; and that the Protestant faith was an impious
heresy and damnable schism, by which many millions of souls would
suffer everlasting perdition. When he had finished his sermon, which I
thought he pronounced with more zeal than discretion, he addressed
himself to my uncle, desired to know his objections to what had been
said. The lieutenant, whose attention had been wholly engrossed by his
own affairs, took the pipe out of his mouth, and replied, “As for me,
friend, d’ye see, I have no objection to what you say; it may be either
truth or false, for what I know; I meddle with nobody’s affairs but my
own; the gunner to his linstock, and the steersman to the helm, as the
saying is. I trust to no creed but the compass, and do unto every man
as I would be done by; so that I defy the Pope, the Devil, and the
Pretender; and hope to be saved as well as another.” This association
of persons gave great offence to the friar, who protested, in a mighty
passion, that if Mr. Bowling had not been his countryman, he would have
caused him to be imprisoned for his insolence; I ventured to disapprove
of my uncle’s rashness, and appeased the old gentleman, by assuring him
there was no offence intended by my kinsman, who, by this time sensible
of his error, shook the injured party by the hand, and asked pardon for
the freedom he had taken. Matters being amicably compromised, he
invited us to come and see him in the afternoon at the convent to which
he belonged, and took his leave for the present; when my uncle
recommended it strongly to me to persevere in the religion of my
forefathers, whatever advantages might propose to myself by a change,
which could not fail of disgracing myself, and dishonouring my family.
I assured him no consideration would induce me to forfeit his
friendship and good opinion on that score; at which assurance he
discovered great satisfaction, and put me in mind of dinner, which we
immediately bespoke, and when it was ready, ate together.
I imagined my acquaintance with the Scottish priest if properly
managed, might turn out to my advantage, and therefore resolved to
cultivate it as much as I could. With this view we visited him at his
convent, according to his invitation, where he treated us with wine and
sweetmeats, and showed us everything that was remarkable in the
monastery. Having been thus entertained, we took our leave, though not
before I had promised to see him next day, and the time fixed for my
uncle’s embarking being come, I accompanied him to the harbour, and saw
him on board. We parted not without tears, after we had embraced and
wished one another all manner of prosperity: and he entreated me to
write to him often, directing to Lieutenant Bowling, at the sign of the
Union Flag, near the Hermitage, London.
I returned to the house in which we had met, where I passed the night
in a very solitary manner, reflecting on the severity of my fate, and
endeavouring to project some likely scheme of life for the future; but
my invention failed me; I saw nothing but insurmountable difficulties
in my way, and was ready to despair at the miserable prospect! That I
might not, however, neglect any probable reason, I got up in the
morning, and went directly to the father, whose advice and assistance I
implored. He received me very kindly, and gave me to understand, that
there was one way of life in which a person of my talents could not
fail of making a great figure. I guessed his meaning, and told him,
once for all, I was fully determined against any alteration in point of
religion; therefore if his proposal regarded the church, he might save
himself the trouble of explaining it. He shook his head and sighed,
saying, “Ah! son, son, what a glorious prospect is here spoiled by your
stubborn prejudice! Suffer yourself to be persuaded by reason, and
consult your temporal welfare, as well as the concerns of your eternal
soul. I can, by my interest procure your admission as a noviciate to
this convent, where I will superintend and direct you with a truly
paternal affection.” Then he launched out into the praises of a
monastic life, which no noise disturbs, no cares molest, and no danger
invades—where the heart is weaned from carnal attachments, the grosser
appetite subdued and chastised, and the soul wafted to divine regions
of philosophy and truth, on the wing of studious contemplation. But his
eloquence was lost upon me, whom two considerations enabled to
withstand his temptation; namely, my promise to my uncle, and my
aversion to an ecclesiastical life; for as to the difference of
religion, I looked upon it as a thing of too small moment to come in
competition with a man’s fortune. Finding me immovable on this head, he
told me, he was more sorry than offended at my noncompliance, and still
ready to employ his good offices in my behalf. “The same erroneous
maxims,” said he, “that obstruct your promotion in the church, will
infallibly prevent your advancement in the army; but, if you can brook
the condition of a servant, I am acquainted with some people of rank at
Versailles, to whom I can give you letters of recommendation, that you
may be entertained by some one of them in quality of maitre d’hotel;
and I do not doubt that your qualifications will soon entitle you to a
better provision.” I embraced his offer with great eagerness, and he
appointed me to come back in the afternoon, when he would not only give
me letters, but likewise introduce me to a capuchin of his
acquaintance, who intended to set out for Paris next morning in whose
company I might travel, without being at the expense of one livre
during the whole journey. This piece of good news gave me infinite
pleasure; I acknowledged my obligation to the benevolent father in the
most grateful expressions; and he performed his promise to a tittle, in