The Adventures of Roderick Random
me to be accommodated with clothes, arms, and accoutrements. Then I
sold my livery suit, purchased linen, and, as I was at great pains to
learn the exercise, in a very short time became a complete soldier.
It was not long before we received orders to join several more
regiments, and march with all expedition into Germany, in order to
reinforce Mareschal Duc de Noailles, who was then encamped with his
army on the side of the river Mayne, to watch the motions of the
English, Hanoverians, Austrians, and Hessians, under the command of the
Earl of Stair. We began our march accordingly, and then I became
acquainted with that part of a soldier’s life to which I had been
hitherto a stranger. It is impossible to describe the hunger and thirst
I sustained, and the fatigue I underwent in a march of so many hundred
miles; during which, I was so much chafed with the heat and motion of
my limbs, that in a very short time the inside of my thighs and legs
were deprived of skin, and I proceeded in the utmost torture. This
misfortune I owed to the plumpness of my constitution, which I cursed,
and envied the withered condition of my comrades, whose bodies could
not spare juice enough to supply a common issue, and were indeed proof
against all manner of friction. The continual pain I felt made me
fretful, and my peevishness was increased by the mortification of my
pride in seeing those miserable wretches, whom a hard gale of wind
would have scattered through the air like chaff, bear those toils with
alacrity under which I was ready to sink.
One day, while we enjoyed a halt, and the soldiers with their wives had
gone out to dance, according to custom, my comrade stayed at home with
me on pretence of friendship, and insulted me with his pity and
consolation! He told me that, though I was young and tender at present,
I should soon be seasoned to the service; and he did not doubt but I
should have the honour to contribute in some measure to the glory of
the king. “Have courage, therefore, my child,” said he, “and pray to
the good God, that you may be as happy as I am, who have had the honour
of serving Louis the Great, and of receiving many wounds, in helping to
establish his glory.” When I looked upon the contemptible object that
pronounced these words, I was amazed at the infatuation that possessed
him; and could not help expressing my astonishment at the absurdity of
a rational who thinks himself highly honoured, in being permitted to
encounter abject poverty, oppression, famine, disease, mutilation, and
evident death merely to gratify the vicious ambition of a prince, by
whom his sufferings were disregarded, and his name utterly unknown. I
observed that, if his situation were the consequence of compulsion, I
would praise his patience and fortitude in bearing his lot: if he had
taken up arms in defence of his injured country, he was to be applauded
for his patriotism: or if he had fled to this way of life as a refuge
from a greater evil, he was justifiable in his own conscience (though I
could have no notion of misery more extreme than he suffered); but to
put his condition on the footing of conducing to the glory of his
prince, was no more than professing himself a desperate slave, who
voluntarily underwent the utmost wretchedness and peril, and committed
the most flagrant crimes, to soothe the barbarous pride of a
fellow-creature, his superior in nothing but the power he derived from
the submission of such wretches as him. The soldier was very much
affronted at the liberty I took with his king, which, he said, nothing
but my ignorance could excuse: he affirmed that the characters of
princes were sacred, and ought not to be profaned by the censure of
their subjects, who were bound by their allegiance to obey their
commands, of what nature soever, without scruple or repining; and
advised me to correct the rebellious principles I had imbibed among the
English, who, for their insolence to their kings, were notorious all
over the world, even to a proverb.
In vindication of my countrymen, I repeated all the arguments commonly
used to prove that every man has a natural right to liberty; that
allegiance and protection are reciprocal; that, when the mutual tie is
broken by the tyranny of the king, he is accountable to the people for
his breach of contract, and subject to the penalties of the law; and
that those insurrections of the English, which are branded with the
name of rebellion by the slaves of arbitrary power, were no other than
glorious efforts to rescue that independence which was their
birthright, from the ravenous claws of usurping ambition. The
Frenchman, provoked at the little deference I paid to the kingly name,
lost all patience, and reproached me in such a manner that my temper
forsook me, I clenched my fist, with an intention to give him a hearty
box on the ear. Perceiving my design, he started back and demanded a
parley; upon which I checked my indignation, and he gave me to
understand that a Frenchman never forgave a blow; therefore, if I were
not weary of my life, I would do well to spare him that mortification,
and do him the honour of measuring his sword with mine, like a
gentleman. I took his advice and followed him to a field hard by, where
indeed I was ashamed at the pitiful figure of my antagonist, who was a
poor little shivering creature, decrepit with age, and blind of one
eye. But I soon found the folly of judging from appearances; being at
the second pass wounded in the sword hand, and immediately disarmed
with such a jerk, that I thought the joint was dislocated. I was no
less confounded than enraged at this event, especially as my adversary
did not bear his success with all the moderation that might have been
expected; for he insisted upon my asking pardon for affronting his king
and him. This proposal I would by no means comply with, but told him,
it was a mean condescension, which no gentleman in his circumstances
ought to propose, nor any in my situation ought to perform; and that,
if he persisted in his ungenerous demand, I would in my turn claim
satisfaction with my musket, when we should be more upon a par than
with the sword, of which he seemed so much master.
CHAPTER XLIV
In order to be revenged, I learn the Science of Defence—we join
Mareschal Duc de Noailles, are engaged with the Allies of Dettingen,
and put to flight—the behaviour of the French soldiers on that
occasion—I industriously seek another combat with the old Gascon, and
vanquish him in my turn—our regiment is put into Winter Quarters at
Rheims, where I find my friend Strap—our Recognition—he supplies me
with Money, and procures my Discharge—we take a trip to Paris; from
whence, by the way of Flanders, we set out for London; where we safely
arrive
He was disconcerted at this declaration, to which he made no reply, but
repaired to the dancers, among whom he recounted his victory with many
exaggerations and gasconades; while I, taking up my sword, went to my
quarters, and examined my wound, which I found was of no consequence.
The same day an Irish drummer, having heard of my misfortune, visited
me, and after having condoled me on the chance of war, gave me to
understand, that he was master of the sword, and would in a very short
time instruct me so thoroughly in that noble science, that I should be
able to chastise the old Gascon for his insolent boasting at my
expense. This friendly office he proffered on pretence of the regard he
had for his countrymen; but I afterwards learned the true motive was no
other than a jealousy he entertained of a correspondence between the
Frenchman and his wife, which he did not think proper to resent in
person. Be this as it will, I accepted his offer and practised his
lessons with such application, that I soon believed myself a match for
my conqueror. In the meantime we continued our march, and arrived at
the Camp of Mareschal Noailles the night before the battle at
Dettingen: notwithstanding the fatigue we had undergone, our regiment
was one of those that were ordered next day to cross the river, under
the command of the Duc de Grammont, to take possession of a narrow
defile, through which the allies must of necessity have passed at a
great disadvantage, or remain where they were, and perish for want of
provision, if they would not condescend to surrender at discretion. How
they suffered themselves to be pent up in this manner it is not my
province to relate; I shall only observe that, when we had taken
possession of our ground, I heard an old officer in conversation with
another express a surprise at the conduct of Lord Stair, who had the
reputation of a good general. But it seems, at this time, that nobleman
was overruled, and only acted in an inferior character; so that no part
of the blame could be imputed to him, who declared his disapprobation
of the step, in consequence of which the whole army was in the utmost
danger; but Providence or destiny acted miracles in their behalf, by
disposing the Duc de Grammont to quit his advantageous post, pass the
defile, and attack the English, who were drawn up in order of battle on
the plain, and who handled us so roughly that, after having lost a
great number of men, we turned our backs without ceremony, and fled
with such precipitation that many hundreds perished in the river
through pure fear and confusion: for the enemy were so generous that
they did not pursue us one inch of ground; and, if our consternation
would have permitted, we might have retreated with great order and
deliberation. But, notwithstanding the royal clemency of the king of
Great Britain, who headed the allies in person, and, no doubt, put a
stop to the carnage, our loss amounted to five thousand men, among whom
were many officers of distinction. Our miscarriage opened a passage for
the foe to Haynau, whither they immediately marched, leaving their sick
and wounded to the care of the French, who next day took possession of
the field of battle, buried the dead, and treated the living with
humanity.
This circumstance was a great consolation to us, who thence took
occasion to claim the victory; and the genius of the French nation
never appeared more conspicuous than now, in the rhodomontades they
uttered on the subject of their generosity and courage. Every man (by
his own account) performed feats that eclipsed all the heroes of
antiquity. One compared himself to a lion retiring at leisure from his
cowardly pursuers, who keep at a wary distance, and gall him with their
darts. Another likened himself to a bear that retreats with his face to
the enemy, who dare not assail him; and the third assumed the character
of a desperate stag, that turns upon the hounds and keeps them at bay.
There was not a private soldier engaged who had not by the prowess of
his single arm demolished a whole platoon, or put a squadron of horse
to flight; and, among others, the meagre Gascon extolled his exploits
above those of Hercules or Charlemagne. As I still retained my
resentment for the disgrace I suffered in my last rencontre with him,
and, now that I thought myself qualified, longed for an opportunity to
retrieve my honour, I magnified the valour of the English with all the
hyperboles I could imagine, and described the pusillanimity of the
French in the same style, comparing them to hares flying before
greyhounds, or mice pursued by cats; and passed an ironical compliment
on the speed he exerted in his flight, which, considering his age and
infirmities I said was surprising. He was stung to the quick by this
sarcasm, and, with an air of threatening disdain, bade me know myself
better, and remember the correction I had already received from him for
my insolence; for he might not always be in the humour of sparing a