The Adventures of Roderick Random
wretch who abused his goodness. To this inuendo I made no reply but by
a kick on the breech, which overturned him in an instant. He started up
with wonderful agility, and, drawing his sword, attacked me with great
fury. Several people interposed, but, when he informed them of its
being an affair of honour, they retired, and left us to decide the
battle by ourselves. I sustained his onset with little damage, having
only received a small scratch on my right shoulder, and, seeing his
breath and vigour almost exhausted, assaulted him in my turn, closed
with him, and wrested his sword out of his hand in the struggle. Having
thus acquired the victory, I desired him to beg his life; to which
demand he made no answer, but shrugged up his shoulders to his ears,
expanded his hands, elevated the skin on his forehead and eyebrows, and
depressed the corners of his mouth in such a manner, that I could
scarce refrain from laughing aloud at his grotesque appearance. That I
might, however, mortify his vanity, which triumphed without bounds over
my misfortune, I thrust his sword up to the hilt in something (it was
not a tansy), that lay smoking on the plain, and joined the rest of the
soldiers with an air of tranquillity and indifference.
There was nothing more of moment attempted by either of the armies
during the remaining part of the campaign, which being ended, the
English marched back to the Netherlands; part of our army was detached
to French Flanders, and our regiment ordered into winter quarters in
Champagne. It was the fate of the grenadier company, to which I now
belonged, to lie at Rheims, where I found myself in the utmost want of
everything, my pay, which amounted to five sols a day, far from
supplying me with necessaries, being scarce sufficient to procure a
wretched subsistence to keep soul and body together; so that I was, by
hunger and hard duty, brought down to the meagre condition of my
fellow-soldiers, and my linen reduced from three tolerable shirts to
two pair of sleeves and necks, the bodies having been long ago
converted into spatterdaches; and after all, I was better provided than
any private man in the regiment. In this urgency of my affairs, I wrote
to my uncle in England, though my hopes from that quarter were not at
all sanguine, for the reasons I have already explained; and in the
meantime had recourse to my old remedy patience, consoling myself with
the flattering suggestions of a lively imagination, that never
abandoned me in my distress.
One day, while I stood sentinel at the gate of a general officer, a
certain nobleman came to the door, followed by a gentleman in mourning,
to whom, at parting, I heard him say, “You may depend upon my good
offices.” This assurance was answered by a low bow of the person in
black, who, turning to go away, discovered to me the individual
countenance of my old friend and adherent Strap. I was so much
astonished at the sight, that I lost the power of utterance, and,
before I could recollect myself, he was gone without taking any notice
of me. Indeed, had he stayed, I scarcely should have ventured to accost
him; because, though I was perfectly well acquainted with the features
of his face, I could not be positively certain as to the rest of his
person, which was very much altered for the better since he left me at
London, neither could I conceive by which means he was enabled to
appear in the sphere of a gentleman, to which, while I knew him, he had
not even the ambition to aspire. But I was too much concerned in the
affair to neglect further information, and therefore took the first
opportunity of asking the porter if he knew the gentleman to whom the
marquis spoke. The Swiss told me his name was Monsieur d’Estrapes, that
he had been valet-de-chambre to an English gentleman lately deceased,
and that he was very much regarded by the marquis for his fidelity to
his master, between whom and that nobleman a very intimate friendship
had subsisted. Nothing could be more agreeable to me than this piece of
intelligence, which banished all doubt of its being my friend, who had
found means to frenchify his name as well as his behaviour since we
parted. As soon, therefore, as I was relieved, I went to his lodging,
according to a direction given me by the Swiss, and had the good
fortune to find him at home. That I might surprise him the more, I
concealed my name and business, and only desired the servant of the
house to tell Monsieur d’Estrapes that I begged the honour of
half-an-hour’s conversation with him. He was confounded and dismayed at
this message, when he understood it was sent by a soldier; though he
was conscious to himself of no crime, all that he had heard of the
Bastille appeared to his imagination with aggravated horror, but it was
not before I had waited a considerable time that he had resolution
enough to bid the servant show me up-stairs.
When I entered his chamber, he returned my bow with great civility, and
endeavoured, with forced complaisance, to disguise his fear, which
appeared in the paleness of his face, the wildness of his looks, and
the shaking of his limbs. I was diverted at his consternation, which
redoubled, when I told him in French, I had business for his private
ear and demanded a particular audience. The valet being withdrawn, I
asked in the same language if his name was d’Estrapes, to which he
answered with a faltering tongue, “The same, at your service.” “Are you
a Frenchman?” Said I. “I have not the honour of being a Frenchman
born,” replied he, “but I have an infinite veneration for the country.”
I then desired he would do me the honour to look at me, which he no
sooner did than, struck with my appearance, he started back, and cried
in English, “O Jesus!—sure it can’t! No ’tis impossible!” I smiled at
his interjections, saying, “I suppose you are too much of a gentleman
to own your friend in adversity.” When he heard me pronounce these
words in our own language, he leaped upon me in a transport of joy,
hung about my neck, kissed me from ear to ear, and blubbered like a
great schoolboy who had been whipped. Then, observing my dress, he set
up his throat, crying, “O Lord! O Lord! that ever I should live to see
my dearest friend reduced to the condition of a foot soldier in the
French service! Why did you consent to my leaving you?—but I know the
reason—you thought you had got more creditable friends, and grew
ashamed of my acquaintance. Ah! Lord help us! though I was a little
short-sighted, I was not altogether blind: and though I did not
complain, I was not the less sensible of your unkindness, which was
indeed the only thing that induced me to ramble abroad, the Lord knows
whither; but I must own it has been a lucky ramble for me, and so I
forgive you, and may God forgive you! O Lord! Lord! is it come to
this?” I was nettled at the charge, which, though just, I could not
help thinking unseasonable, and told him with some tartness that,
whether his suspicions were well or ill grounded, he might have chosen
a more convenient opportunity of introducing them; and that the
question now was whether or no he found himself disposed to lend me any
assistance. “Disposed!” replied he with great emotion; “I thought you
had known me so well as to assure yourself without asking, that I, and
all that belongs to me, are at your command. In the meantime you shall
dine with me, and I will tell you something that, perhaps, will not be
displeasing unto you.” Then, wringing my hand, he said, “It makes my
heart bleed to see you in that garb!” I thanked him for his invitation,
which, I observed, could not be unwelcome to a person who had not eaten
a comfortable meal these seven months; but I had another request to
make, which I begged he would grant before dinner, and that was the
loan of a shirt; for although my back had been many weeks a stranger to
any comfort of that kind, my skin was not yet familiarised to the want
of it. He stared in my face, with a woful countenance, at this
declaration, which he could scarce believe, until I explained it by
unbuttoning my coat and disclosing my naked body—a circumstance which
shocked the tender-hearted Strap, who, with tears in his eyes, ran to a
chest of drawers, and taking out some linen, presented to me a very
fine ruffled Holland shirt and cambric neckcloth, assuring me he had
three dozen of the same kind at my service.
I was ravished at this piece of good news and, having accommodated
myself in a moment, hugged my benefactor for his generous offer,
saying, I was overjoyed to find him undebauched by prosperity, which
seldom fails to corrupt the heart. He bespoke for dinner some soup and
bouilli, a couple of pullets roasted, and a dish of asparagus, and in
the interim entertained me with biscuit and Burgundy, after which
repast he entreated me to gratify his longing desire of knowing every
circumstance of my fortune since his departure from London. This
request I complied with, beginning at the adventure of Gawky, and
relating every particular event in which I had been concerned from that
day to the present hour. During the recital, my friend was strongly
affected, according to the various situations described. He stared with
surprise, glowed with indignation, gaped with curiosity, smiled with
pleasure, trembled with fear, and wept with sorrow, as the vicissitudes
of my life inspired these different passions; and, when my story was
ended, signified his amazement on the whole, by lifting up his eyes and
hands and protesting that, though I was a young man, had suffered more
than all the blessed martyrs.
After dinner, I desired in my turn to know the particulars of his
peregrination, and he satisfied me in a few words, by giving me to
understand that he had lived a year at Paris with his master, who, in
that time having acquired the language, as well as the fashionable
exercises to perfection, made a tour of France and Holland, during
which excursion he was so unfortunate as to meet with three of his own
countrymen on their travels, in whose company he committed such
excesses, that his constitution failed, and he fell into a consumption;
that by the advice of physicians, he went to Montpelier for the benefit
of good air, and recovered so well in six weeks, that he returned to
Rheims seemingly in good health, where he had not continued above a
month, when he was seized with a looseness that carried him off in ten
days, to the unspeakable sorrow of all who knew him and especially of
Strap, who had been very happy in his service, and given such
satisfaction, that his master, on his death-bed recommended him to
several persons of distinction for his diligence, sobriety, and
affection, and left him by will his wearing apparel, gold watch, sword,
rings, ready money, and all the moveables he had in France, to the
value of three hundred pounds “which I now,” said he, “in the sight of
God and man, surrender to your absolute disposal: here are my keys;
take them, I beseech you, and God give you joy of the possession.” My
brain was almost turned by this sudden change of fortune, which I could
scarce believe real: however, I positively refused this extravagant
proffer of my friend, and put him in mind of my being a soldier; at
which hint he started, crying, “Odso! that’s true! we must procure your
discharge. I have some interest with a nobleman who is able to do me
that favour.”
We consulted about this affair, and it was determined that Monsieur
d’Estrapes should wait upon the Marquis in the morning, and tell him he
had by accident found his brother, whom he had not seen for many years
before, a private soldier in the regiment of Picardy, and implore that
nobleman’s interest for his discharge. In the meantime, we enjoyed
ourselves over a bottle of good Burgundy, and spent the evening in