The Adventures of Roderick Random
I appeared in the character which she always thought my due, with such
advantage of transformation that, unless my image had been engraven on
her heart, it would have been impossible to know me for the person who
had worn her aunt’s livery; that by the language of my eyes, she was
assured of the continuance of my passion for her, and consequently of
my being unengaged to any other; and that, though she did not doubt I
would speedily fall upon some method of being introduced, she was so
impatient to hear of me, that she (Miss Williams) had been sent abroad
this very morning, on purpose to learn the name and character I at
present bore. My bosom had been hitherto a stranger to such a flood of
joy as now rushed upon it; my faculties were overborne by the tide; it
was some time before I could open my mouth, and much longer ere I could
utter a coherent sentence. At length, I fervently requested her to lead
me immediately to the object of my adoration; but she resisted my
importunity, and explained the danger of such premature conduct. “How
favourable soever,” said she, “my lady’s inclination towards you may
be, you may depend upon it, she will not commit the smallest trespass
on decorum, either in disclosing her own, or in receiving a declaration
of your passion: and, although the great veneration I have for you has
prompted me to reveal what she communicated to me in confidence, I know
so well the severity of her sentiments with respect to the punctilios
of her sex that, if she should learn the least surmise of it, she would
not only dismiss me as a wretch unworthy of her benevolence, but also
for ever shun the efforts of your love.” I assented to the justness of
her remonstrance, and desired she would assist me with her advice and
direction: upon which it was concerted between us, that for the present
I should be contented with her telling Narcissa that, in the course of
her inquiries, she could only learn my name: and that, if, in a day or
two, I could fall upon no other method of being introduced to her
mistress, she would deliver a letter from me, on pretence of consulting
her happiness: and say that I met her in the streets, and bribed her to
this piece of service. Matters being thus adjusted, I kept my old
acquaintance to breakfast, and learned from her conversation, that my
rival Sir Timothy had drunk himself into an apoplexy, of which he died
five months ago; that the savage was still unmarried and that his aunt
had been seized with a whim which he little expected, and chosen the
schoolmaster of the parish for her lord and husband: but matrimony not
agreeing with her constitution she had been hectic and dropsical a good
while, and was now at Bath, in order to drink the waters for the
recovery of her health; that her niece had accompanied her thither at
her request, and attended her with the same affection as before,
notwithstanding the mistake she had committed: and that the nephew, who
had been exasperated at the loss of her fortune, did not give his
attendance out of good will, but purely to have an eye on his sister,
lest she should likewise throw herself away without his consent or
approbation. Having enjoyed ourselves in this manner, and made an
assignation to meet next day at a certain place, Miss Williams took her
leave; and Strap’s looks being very inquisitive about the nature of the
communication subsisting between us, I made him acquainted with the
whole affair, to his great astonishment and satisfaction.
CHAPTER LVI
I become acquainted with Narcissa’s brother, who invites me to his
House, where I am introduced to that adorable Creature—after dinner,
the Squire retires to take his nap—Freeman, guessing the Situation of
my Thought, withdraws likewise, on pretence of Business—I declare my
passion for Narcissa—am well-received—charmed with her Conversation—the
Squire detains us to Supper—I elude his design by a Stratagem, and get
home sober
In the afternoon, I drank tea at the house of Mr. Freeman, to whom I
had been recommended by Banter; where I had not sat five minutes, till
the foxhunter came in, and by his familiar behaviour appeared to be
intimate with my friend. I was, at first, under some concern, lest he
should recollect my features; but when I found myself introduced to him
as a gentleman from London, without being discovered, I blessed the
opportunity that brought me into his company; hoping that, in the
course of my acquaintance, he would invite me to his house; nor were my
hopes frustrated, for, as we spent the evening together, he grew
extremely fond of my conversation, asked a great many childish
questions about France and foreign parts; and seemed so highly
entertained with my answers, that in his cups he shook me often by the
hand, pronounced me an honest fellow, and in fine desired our company
at dinner next day, at his civil house. My imagination was so much
employed in anticipating the happiness I was to enjoy next day, that I
slept very little that night; but, rising early in the morning, went to
the place appointed, where I met my she-friend, and imparted to her my
success with the squire. She was very much pleased at the occasion,
“which,” she said, “could not fail of being agreeable to Narcissa, who,
in spite of her passion for me, had mentioned some scruples relating to
my true situation and character, which the delicacy of her sentiments
suggested, and which she believed I would find it necessary to remove,
though she did not know how.” I was a good deal startled at this
insinuation, because I foresaw the difficulty I should find in barely
doing myself justice: for, although it never was my intention to impose
myself upon any woman, much less on Narcissa, I laid claim to the
character of a gentleman by birth, education, and behaviour; and yet
(so unlucky had the circumstances of my life fallen out) I should find
it a very hard matter to make good my pretensions even to these,
especially to the last, which was the most essential. Miss Williams was
as sensible as I of this my disadvantage, but comforted me with
observing that, when once a woman has bestowed her affections on a man,
she cannot help judging of him in all respects with a partiality easily
influenced in his favour: she remarked that, although some situations
of my life had been low, yet none of them had been infamous; that my
indigence had been the crime not of me, but of fortune; and that the
miseries I had undergone, by improving the faculties both of mind and
body, qualified me the more for any dignified station; and would of
consequence recommend me to the good graces of any sensible woman: she
therefore advised me to be always open and unreserved to the inquiries
of my mistress, without unnecessarily betraying the meanest occurrences
of my fate; and trust to the strength of her love and reflection for
the rest.
The sentiments of this sensible young woman on this, as well as on
almost every other subject, perfectly agreed with mine. I thanked her
for the care she took of my interests, and, promising to behave myself
according to her directions we parted, after she had assured me that I
depend upon her best offices with her mistress, and that she would from
time to time communicate to me such intelligence as she could procure,
relating to my flame. Having dressed myself to the best advantage, I
waited for the time of dinner with the most fearful impatience; and, as
the hour drew near, my heart beat with such increased velocity, and my
spirits contracted such disorder, that I began to suspect my
resolution, and even to wish myself disengaged. At last Mr. Freeman
called at my lodgings in his way, and I accompanied him to the house
where all my happiness was deposited. We were very kindly received by
the squire, who sat smoking his pipe in a parlour, and asked if we
chose to drink any thing before dinner: though I never had more
occasion for a cordial, I was ashamed to accept his offer, which was
also refused, by my friend. We sat down, however, entered into
conversation, which lasted half-an hour, so that I had time to
recollect myself; and (so capricious were my thoughts) even to hope
that Narcissa would not appear—when, all of a sudden, a servant coming
in, gave us notice that dinner was upon the table, and my perturbation
returned with such violence that I could scarcely conceal it from the
company, as I ascended the staircase. When I entered the dining-room,
the first object that saluted my ravished eyes was the divine Narcissa,
blushing like Aurora, adorned with all the graces that meekness,
innocence, and beauty can diffuse! I was seized with a giddiness, my
knees tottered and I scarce had strength enough to perform the ceremony
of salutation, when her brother, slapping me on the shoulder, cried,
“Measure Randan, that there is my sister.” I approached her with
eagerness and fear; but in the moment of our embrace, my soul was
agonized with rapture! It was a lucky circumstance for us both, that my
entertainer was not endued with an uncommon stock of penetration; for
our mutual confusion was so manifest that Mr. Freeman perceived it, and
as we went home together, congratulated me on my good fortune. But so
far was Bruin from entertaining the least suspicion, that he encouraged
me to begin a conversation with my mistress in a language unknown to
him, by telling her, that he had a gentleman who could jabber with her
in French and other foreign lingoes as fast as she pleased; then,
turning to me, said, “Odds bobs! I wish you would hold discourse with
her in your French or Italian, and tell me if she understands it as
well as she would be thought to do. There’s her aunt and she will
chatter together whole days in it, and I can’t have a mouthful of
English for love or money.” I consulted the look of my amiable mistress
and found her averse to his proposal, which indeed she declined with a
sweetness of denial peculiar to herself, as a piece of disrespect to
that part of the company which did not understand the language in
question. As I had the happiness of sitting opposite to her, I feasted
my eyes much more than my palate which she tempted in vain with the
most delicious bits carved by her fair hand, and recommended by her
persuasive tongue; but all my other appetites were swallowed up in
immensity of my love, which I fed by gazing incessantly on the
delightful object. Dinner was scarcely ended, when the squire became
very drowsy, and after several dreadful yawns, got up, stretched
himself, took two or three turns across the room, begged we would allow
him to take a short nap, and, having laid a strong injunction on his
sister to detain us till his return, went to his repose without further
ceremony. He had not been gone many minutes, when Freeman, guessing the
situation of my heart, and thinking he could not do me a greater favour
than to leave me alone with Narcissa, pretended to recollect himself
all of a sudden, and, starting up, begged the lady pardon for
half-an-hour, for he had unluckily remembered an engagement of some
consequence, that he must perform at that instant: so saying, he took
his leave, promising to come back time enough for tea, leaving my
mistress and me in great confusion.
Now that I enjoyed an opportunity of disclosing the paintings of my
soul, I had not the power to use it. I studied many pathetic
declarations, but, when I attempted to give them utterance, my tongue
denied its office and she sat silent with a downcast look full of
anxious alarm, her bosom heaving with expectation of some great event.
At length I endeavoured to put an end to this solemn pause, and began
with, “It is very surprising, madam, madam”—here the sound dying away,
I made a full stop; while Narcissa, starting, blushed, and, with a