The Adventures of Roderick Random
Leave of her Brother to dance with her at a Ball—obtain his Consent and
hers—enjoy a private Conversation with her—am perplexed with
Reflections—have the Honour of appearing her Partner at a Ball—we are
complimented by a certain Nobleman—he discovers some Symptoms of a
Passion for Narcissa—I am stung with Jealousy—Narcissa, alarmed,
retires—I observe Melinda in the company—the Squire is captivated by
her Beauty
I was met next morning at the usual place by Miss Williams, who gave me
joy of the progress I had made in the affection of her mistress, and
blessed me with an account of that dear creature’s conversation with
her, after she had retired the night before from our company. I could
scarce believe her information, when she recounted her expressions in
my favour, so much more warm and passionate were they than my most
sanguine hopes had presaged; and was particularly pleased to hear that
she approved of my behaviour to her brother after she withdrew.
Transported at the news of my happiness, I presented my ring to the
messenger as a testimony of my gratitude and satisfaction; but she was
above such mercenary considerations, and refused my compliment with
some resentment, saying, she was not a little mortified to see my
opinion of her so low and contemptible. I did myself a piece of justice
by explaining my behaviour on this head, and to convince her of my
esteem, promised to be ruled by her directions in the prosecution of
the whole affair, which I had so much at heart, that the repose of my
life depended upon the consequence.
As I fervently wished for another interview, where I might pour out the
effusion of my love without danger of being interrupted, and perhaps
reap some endearing return from the queen of my desires, I implored her
advice and assistance in promoting this event: but she gave me to
understand, that Narcissa would make no precipitate compliances of this
kind, and I would do well to cultivate her brother’s acquaintance, in
the course of which I should not want opportunities of removing that
reserve which my mistress thought herself obliged to maintain during
the infancy of our correspondence. In the meantime she promised to tell
her lady that I had endeavoured by presents and persuasions, to prevail
upon her (Miss Williams) to deliver a letter from me, which she had
refused to charge herself with, until she should know Narcissa’s
sentiments of the matter; and said, by these means she did not doubt of
being able to open a literary communication between us, which could not
fail of introducing more intimate connections.
I approved of her counsel, and, our appointment being renewed for the
next day, left her with an intent of falling upon some method of being
reconciled to the squire, who, I supposed, would be offended with the
trick we had put upon him. With this view I consulted Freeman, who,
from his knowledge of the foxhunter’s disposition, assured me there was
no other method of pacifying him, than that of sacrificing ourselves
for one night to an equal match with him in drinking. This expedient I
found myself necessitated to comply with for the interest of my
passion, and therefore determined to commit the debauch at my own
lodgings, that I might run no risk of being discovered by Narcissa, in
a state of brutal degeneracy. Mr. Freeman, who was to be of the party,
went, at my desire, to the squire, in order to engage him, while I took
care to furnish myself for his reception. My invitation was accepted,
my guests honoured me with their company in the evening, when Bruin
gave me to understand that he had drunk many tons of wine in his life,
but was never served such a trick as I had played upon him the night
before. I promised to atone for my trespass, and, having ordered to
every man his bottle, began the contest with a bumper to the health of
Narcissa. The toasts circulated with great devotion, the liquor began
to operate, our mirth grew noisy, and, as Freeman said, I had the
advantage of drinking small French claret, the savage was effectually
tamed before our senses were in the least affected, and carried home in
an apoplexy of drunkenness.
I was next morning, as usual, favoured with a visit from my kind and
punctual confidante, who, telling me she was permitted to receive my
letters for her mistress, I took up the pen immediately, and, following
the first dictates of my passion, wrote as follows:
“Dear Madam,
“Were it possible for the powers of utterance to reveal the soft
emotions of my soul, the fond anxiety, the glowing hopes, the
chilling flame, that rule my breast by turns, I should need no
other witness than this paper, to evince the purity and ardour of
that flame your charms have kindled in my heart, But alas!
expression wrongs my love! I am inspired with conceptions that no
language can convey! Your beauty fills me with wonder, your
understanding with ravishment, and your goodness with adoration! I
am transported with desire, distracted with doubts, and tortured
with impatience. Suffer me then, lovely arbitress of my fate, to
approach you in person, to breathe in soft murmurs my passion to
your ear, to offer the sacrifice of a heart overflowing with the
most genuine and disinterested love, to gaze with ecstacy on the
divine object of my wishes, to hear the music of her enchanting
tongue, and to rejoice in her smiles of approbation, which will
banish the most intolerable suspense from the bosom of
“Your enraptured, R— R—.”
Having finished this effusion, I committed it to the care of my
faithful friend, with an injunction to second my entreaty with all her
eloquence and influence, and in the meantime went to dress, with an
intention of visiting Mrs. Snapper and Miss, whom I had utterly
neglected, and indeed almost forgotten, since my dear Narcissa had
resumed the empire of my soul. The old gentlewoman received me very
kindly, and Miss affected a frankness and gaiety which, however, I
could easily perceive was forced and dissembled: among other things,
she pretended to joke me upon my passion for Narcissa, which she
averred was no secret, and asked if I intended to dance with her at the
next assembly. I was a good deal concerned to find myself become the
town talk on this subject, lest the squire, having notice of my
inclinations, should disapprove of them, and, by breaking off all
correspondence with me, deprive me of the opportunities I now enjoyed.
But I resolved to use the interest I had with him, while it lasted; and
that very night, meeting him occasionally, asked his permission to
solicit her company at the ball, which he very readily granted, to my
inexpressible satisfaction.
Having been kept awake the greatest part of the night by a thousand
delightful reveries that took possession of my fancy, I got up by
times, and, flying to the place of rendezvous, had in a little time the
pleasure of seeing Miss Williams approach with a smile on her
countenance, which I interpreted into a good omen. Neither was I
mistaken in my presage. She presented me with a letter from the idol of
my soul, which, after having kissed it devoutly, I opened with the
utmost eagerness, and was blessed with her approbation in these terms:
“Sir,
“To say I look upon you with indifference would be a piece of
dissimulation which I think no decorum requires, and no custom can
justify. As my heart never felt an impression that my tongue was
ashamed to declare, I will not scruple to own myself pleased with
your passion; confident of your integrity, and so well convinced of
my own discretion, that I should not hesitate in granting you the
interview you desire, were I not overawed by the prying curiosity
of a malicious world, the censure of which might be fatally
prejudicial to the reputation of
“Your Narcissa.”
No anchorite in the ecstacy of devotion ever adored a relic with more
fervour than that with which I kissed this inimitable proof of my
charmer’s candour, generosity, and affection! I read it over a hundred
times, was ravished with her confession in the beginning; but the
subscription of Your Narcissa yielded me such delight as I had never
felt before! My happiness was still increased by Miss Williams, who
blessed me with a repetition of her lady’s tender expressions in my
favour, when she received and read my letter. In short, I had all the
reason in the world to believe that this gentle creature’s bosom was
possessed by a passion for me, as warm, though perhaps not so impetuous
as mine for her.
I informed my friend of the squire’s consent to my dancing with
Narcissa at the ball and desired her to tell her mistress, that I would
do myself the honour of visiting her in the afternoon, in consequence
of his permission, when I hoped to find her as indulgent as her brother
had been complaisant in that particular. Miss Williams expressed a good
deal of joy at hearing I was so much in favour with the foxhunter, and
ventured to assure me, that my visit would be very agreeable to my
mistress, the rather because Bruin was engaged to dine abroad. This was
a circumstance which, I scarce need say, pleased me. I went immediately
to the Long Room, where I found him, and, affecting to know nothing of
his engagement, told him, I would do myself the pleasure to wait upon
him in the afternoon, and to present his sister with a ticket for the
ball. He shook me by the hand, according to custom, and, giving me to
understand that he was to dine abroad, desired me to go and drink tea
with Narcissa notwithstanding, and promised to prepare her for my visit
in the meantime.
Everything succeeding thus to my wish, I waited with incredible
impatience for the time, which no sooner arrived than I hastened to the
scene, which my fancy had preoccupied long before. I was introduced
accordingly to the dear enchantress, whom I found accompanied by Miss
Williams, who, on pretence of ordering tea, retired at my approach.
This favourable accident, which alarmed my whole soul, disordered her
also. I found myself actuated by an irresistible impulse; I advanced to
her with eagerness and awe; and, profiting by the confusion that
prevailed over her, clasped the fair angel in my arms, and imprinted a
glowing kiss upon her lips, more soft and fragrant than the dewy
rosebud just bursting from the stem! Her face was in an instant covered
with blushes, her eyes sparkled with resentment; I threw myself at her
feet, and implored her pardon. Her love became advocate in my cause;
her look softened into forgiveness; she raised me up, and chid me with
so much sweetness of displeasure that I could have been tempted to
repeat the offence, had not the coming in of the servant with the
tea-board prevented my presumption. While we were subject to be
interrupted or overheard, we conversed about the approaching ball, at
which she promised to grace me as a partner, but, when the equipage was
removed, and we were left alone, I resumed the more interesting theme,
and expressed myself with such transport and agitation, that my
mistress, fearing I should commit some extravagance, rang the bell for
her maid, whom she detained in the room, as a check upon my vivacity. I
was not sorry for this precaution, because I could unbosom myself
without reserve before Miss Williams, who was the confidante of us
both. I therefore gave a loose to the inspirations of my passion, which
operated so successfully upon the tender affections of Narcissa, that
she laid aside the constraint she had hitherto worn, and blessed me
with the most melting declaration of her mutual flame! It was
impossible for me to forbear taking the advantage of this endearing
condescension. She now gently yielded to my embraces; while I,