The Adventures of Roderick Random
encircling all that I held dear within my arms, tasted in advance the
joys of that paradise I hoped in a little time wholly to possess! We
spent the afternoon in all the ecstacy of hope that the most fervent
love exchanged by mutual vows could inspire; and Miss Williams was so
much affected with our chaste caresses, which recalled the sad
remembrance of what she was, that her eyes were filled with tears.
The evening being pretty far advanced, I forced myself from the dear
object of my flame, who indulged me in a tender embrace at parting,
and, repairing to my lodgings, communicated to my friend Strap every
circumstance of my happiness, which filled him with so much pleasure,
that it ran over at his eyes; and he prayed heartily, that no envious
devil might, as formerly, dash the cup of blessing from my lip. When I
reflected on what had happened, and especially on the unreserved
protestations of Narcissa’s love, I could not help being amazed at her
omitting to inquire into the particular circumstances of life and
fortune of one whom she had favoured with her affection, and I began to
be a little anxious about the situation of her finances; well knowing
that I should do an irreparable injury to the person my soul held most
dear, if I should espouse her without being able to support her in the
rank which was certainly her due. I had heard, indeed, while I served
her aunt, that her father had left her a considerable sum; and that
everybody believed she would inherit the greatest part of her
kinswoman’s dowry, but I did not know how far she might be restricted
by the old gentleman’s will in the enjoyment of what he left her: and I
was too well informed of the virtuoso’s late conduct, to think my
mistress could have any expectation from that quarter. I confided,
however, in the good sense and policy of my charmer, who, I was sure,
would not consent to unite her fate with mine, before she had fully
considered and provided for the consequence.
The ball night being arrived, I dressed myself in a suit I had reserved
for some grand occasion; and, having drunk tea with Narcissa and her
brother, conducted my angel to the scene, where she, in a moment,
eclipsed all her female competitors for beauty, and attracted the
admiration of the whole assembly. My heart dilated with pride on this
occasion, and my triumph rejected all bounds, when, after we had danced
together, a certain nobleman, remarkable for his figure, and influence
in the beau monde, came up, and in the hearing of all present, honoured
us with a very particular compliment upon our accomplishments and
appearance; but this transport was soon checked, when I perceived his
lordship attach himself with great assiduity to my mistress, and say
some warm things, which, I thought, savoured too much of passion. It
was then I began to feel the pangs of jealousy; I dreaded the power and
address of my rival; I sickened at his discourse; when she opened her
lips to answer, my heart died within me; when she smiled, I felt the
pains of the damned! I was enraged at his presumption: I cursed her
complaisance: at length he quitted her, and went to the other side of
the room. Narcissa, suspecting nothing of the rage that inflamed me,
put some questions to me as soon as he was gone, to which I made no
reply, but assumed a grim look, which too well denoted the agitation of
my breast, and surprised her not a little. She no sooner observed my
emotion than she changed colour, and asked what ailed me? but before I
could make answer, her brother, pulling me by the sleeve, bade me take
notice of a lady who sat fronting us, whom I immediately, to my vast
astonishment, distinguished to be Melinda, accompanied by her mother,
and an elderly gentleman, whom I did not know. “Wounds! Mr. Randan,”
cried the squire, “is she not a delicate piece of stuff? ’Sdeath! I
have a good mind—if I thought she was a single person.”
Notwithstanding the perplexity I was in, I had reflection enough to
foresee that my passion might suffer greatly by the presence of this
lady, who, in all probability, would revenge herself upon me, for
having formerly disgraced her, by spreading reports to my prejudice. I
was therefore alarmed at these symptoms of the Squire’s admiration; and
for some time did not know what reply to make, when he asked my opinion
of her beauty; at length I came to a determination, and told him that
her name was Melinda, that she had a fortune of ten thousand pounds,
and was said to be under promise of marriage to a certain lord, who
deferred his nuptials a few months, until he should be of age. I
thought this piece of intelligence, which I had myself invented, would
have hindered him effectually from entertaining any further thoughts of
her; but I was egregiously mistaken. The foxhunter had too much
self-sufficiency to despair of success against any competitor on earth.
He therefore made light of her engagement, saying, with a smile of
self-approbation, “Mayhap she will change her mind; what signifies his
being a lord? I think myself as good a man as e’er a lord in
Christendom, and I’ll see if a commoner worth three thousand a year
won’t serve her turn.” This determination startled me not a little; I
knew he would soon discover the contrary of what I advanced; and as I
believed he would find her ear open to his addresses, did not doubt of
meeting with every obstacle in my amour that her malice could invent,
and her influence execute. This reflection increased my chagrin—my
vexation was evident. Narcissa insisted on going home immediately: and,
as I led her to the door, her noble admirer, with a look full of
languishment, directed to her a profound bow, which stung me to the
soul. Before she went into the chair, she asked, with an appearance of
concern, what was the matter with me? and I could pronounce no more
than “By heaven, I am distracted!”
CHAPTER LVIII
Tortured with Jealousy, I go Home, and abuse Strap—receive a Message
from Narcissa, in Consequence of which I hasten to her Apartment, where
her endearing Assurances banish all my Doubts and Apprehensions—in my
Retreat discover Somebody in the Dark, whom, suspecting to be a Spy, I
resolve to kill, but, to my great Surprise, am convinced of his being
no other than Strap—Melinda slanders me—I become acquainted with Lord
Quiverwit, who endeavours to sound me with regard to Narcissa—the
Squire is introduced to his Lordship, and grows cold towards me—I learn
from my Confidante, that this Nobleman professes honourable Love to my
Mistress, who continues faithful to me, notwithstanding the scandalous
Reports she had heard to my Prejudice—I am mortified with an Assurance
that her whole Fortune depends upon the Pleasure of her Brother—Mr.
Freeman condoles me on the Decline of my Character, which I vindicate
so much to his satisfaction, that he undertakes to combat Fame on my
behalf
Having uttered this exclamation, at which she sighed, I went home in
the condition of a frantic Bedlamite: and, finding the fire in my
apartment almost extinguished, vented my fury upon poor Strap, whose
ear I pinched with such violence, that he roared hideously with pain;
and, when I quitted my hold, looked so foolishly aghast, that no
unconcerned spectator could have seen him without being seized with an
immoderate fit of laughter. It is true, I was soon sensible of the
injury I had done, and asked pardon for the outrage I had committed;
upon which my faithful valet, shaking his head, said, “I forgive you,
and may God forgive you!” But he could not help shedding some tears at
my unkindness. I felt unspeakable remorse for what I had done, cursed
my own ingratitude, and considered his tears as a reproach that my
soul, in its present disturbance, could not bear. It set all my
passions into a ferment: I swore horrible oaths without meaning or
application. I foamed at the mouth, kicked the chairs about the room,
and played abundance of mad pranks that frightened my friend almost out
of his senses. At length my transport subsided, I became melancholy,
and wept insensibly.
During this state of dejection, I was surprised with the appearance of
Miss Williams, whom Strap, blubbering all the while, had conducted into
the chamber without giving me previous notice of her approach. She was
extremely affected with my condition, which she had learned from him,
begged me to moderate my passion, suspend my conjectures, and follow
her to Narcissa, who desired to see me forthwith. That dear name
operated upon me like a charm! I started up, and, without opening my
lips, was conducted into her apartment through the garden, which we
entered by a private door. I found the adorable creature in tears; I
was melted at the sight—we continued silent for some time—my heart was
too full to speak—her snowy bosom heaved with fond resentment; at last
she sobbing cried, “What have I done to disoblige you?” My heart was
pierced with the tender question. I drew near with the utmost reverence
of affection. I fell upon my knees before her, and, kissing her hand,
exclaimed, “Oh! thou art all goodness and perfection! I am undone by
want of merit; I am unworthy to possess thy charms, which heaven hath
destined for the arms of some more favourite being.” She guessed the
cause of my disquiet, upbraided me gently for my suspicion, and gave me
such flattering assurances of her eternal fidelity, that all my doubts
and fears forsook me, and peace and satisfaction reigned within my
breast.
At midnight I left the fair nymph to her repose, and, being let out by
Miss Williams at the garden gate by which I entered, began to explore
my way homeward in the dark, when I heard at my back a noise like that
of a baboon when he mews and chatters. I turned instantly, and,
perceiving something black, concluded I was discovered by some spy,
employed to watch for that purpose; aroused at this conjecture, by
which the reputation of the virtuous Narcissa appeared in jeopardy, I
drew my sword, and would have sacrificed him to her fame, had not the
voice of Strap restrained my arm, it was with great difficulty he could
pronounce, “D—d—d-do! mum—um—um—murder me if you please.” Such an
effect had the cold upon his jaws, that his teeth rattled like a pair
of castanets. Pleased to be thus undeceived, I laughed at his
consternation, and asked what brought him thither? Upon which he gave
me to understand, that his concern for me had induced him to follow me
to that place, where the same reason had detained him till now, and he
frankly owned, that, in spite of the esteem he had for Miss Williams he
began to be very uneasy about me, considering the disposition in which
I went abroad; and, if I had stayed much longer, would certainly have
alarmed the neighbourhood in my behalf. The knowledge of this his
intention confounded me. I represented to him the mischievous
consequences that would have attended such a rash action, and,
cautioning him severely against any such design for the future,
concluded my admonition with an assurance, that, in case he should ever
act so madly, I would, without hesitation, put him to death. “Have a
little patience!” cried he, in a lamentable tone; “your displeasure
will do the business, without your committing murder.” I was touched
with this reproach; and, as soon as we got home, made it my business to
appease him, by explaining the cause of that transport during which I
had used him so unworthily.
Next day when I went into the Long Room, I observed several whispers
circulate all of a sudden, and did not doubt that Melinda had been busy
with my character; but I consoled myself with the love of Narcissa,
upon which I rested with the most perfect confidence; and going up to
the rowly-powly table, won a few pieces from my suspected rival, who,