The Arabian Nights Entertainments
to hand me the fee for my services. While she was telling me her story
they seem to have carried the sick man to the top of the staircase and
then left him there. I jumped up in a hurry without waiting for a
lantern, and in the darkness I fell against something, which tumbled
headlong down the stairs and never stopped till it reached the bottom.
When I examined the body I found it was quite dead, and the corpse was
that of a hunchback Mussulman. Terrified at what we had done, my wife
and I took the body on the roof and let it down the chimney of our
neighbour the purveyor, whom you were just about to hang. The
purveyor, finding him in his room, naturally thought he was a thief,
and struck him such a blow that the man fell down and lay motionless on
the floor. Stooping to examine him, and finding him stone dead, the
purveyor supposed that the man had died from the blow he had received;
but of course this was a mistake, as you will see from my account, and
I only am the murderer; and although I am innocent of any wish to
commit a crime, I must suffer for it all the same, or else have the
blood of two Musselmans on my conscience. Therefore send away this
man, I pray you, and let me take his place, as it is I who am guilty."
On hearing the declaration of the Jewish doctor, the chief of police
commanded that he should be led to the gallows, and the Sultan's
purveyor go free. The cord was placed round the Jew's neck, and his
feet had already ceased to touch the ground when the voice of the
tailor was heard beseeching the executioner to pause one moment and to
listen to what he had to say.
"Oh, my lord," he cried, turning to the chief of police, "how nearly
have you caused the death of three innocent people! But if you will
only have the patience to listen to my tale, you shall know who is the
real culprit. If some one has to suffer, it must be me! Yesterday, at
dusk, I was working in my shop with a light heart when the little
hunchback, who was more than half drunk, came and sat in the doorway.
He sang me several songs, and then I invited him to finish the evening
at my house. He accepted my invitation, and we went away together. At
supper I helped him to a slice of fish, but in eating it a bone stuck
in his throat, and in spite of all we could do he died in a few
minutes. We felt deeply sorry for his death, but fearing lest we
should be held responsible, we carried the corpse to the house of the
Jewish doctor. I knocked, and desired the servant to beg her master to
come down as fast as possible and see a sick man whom we had brought
for him to cure; and in order to hasten his movements I placed a piece
of money in her hand as the doctor's fee. Directly she had disappeared
I dragged the body to the top of the stairs, and then hurried away with
my wife back to our house. In descending the stairs the doctor
accidentally knocked over the corpse, and finding him dead believed
that he himself was the murderer. But now you know the truth set him
free, and let me die in his stead."
The chief of police and the crowd of spectators were lost in
astonishment at the strange events to which the death of the hunchback
had given rise.
"Loosen the Jewish doctor," said he to the hangman, "and string up the
tailor instead, since he has made confession of his crime. Really, one
cannot deny that this is a very singular story, and it deserves to be
written in letters of gold."
The executioner speedily untied the knots which confined the doctor,
and was passing the cord round the neck of the tailor, when the Sultan
of Kashgar, who had missed his jester, happened to make inquiry of his
officers as to what had become of him.
"Sire," replied they, "the hunchback having drunk more than was good
for him, escaped from the palace and was seen wandering about the town,
where this morning he was found dead. A man was arrested for having
caused his death, and held in custody till a gallows was erected. At
the moment that he was about to suffer punishment, first one man
arrived, and then another, each accusing themselves of the murder, and
this went on for a long time, and at the present instant the chief of
police is engaged in questioning a man who declares that he alone is
the true assassin."
The Sultan of Kashgar no sooner heard these words than he ordered an
usher to go to the chief of police and to bring all the persons
concerned in the hunchback's death, together with the corpse, that he
wished to see once again. The usher hastened on his errand, but was
only just in time, for the tailor was positively swinging in the air,
when his voice fell upon the silence of the crowd, commanding the
hangman to cut down the body. The hangman, recognising the usher as
one of the king's servants, cut down the tailor, and the usher, seeing
the man was safe, sought the chief of police and gave him the Sultan's
message. Accordingly, the chief of police at once set out for the
palace, taking with him the tailor, the doctor, the purveyor, and the
merchant, who bore the dead hunchback on their shoulders.
When the procession reached the palace the chief of police prostrated
himself at the feet of the Sultan, and related all that he knew of the
matter. The Sultan was so much struck by the circumstances that he
ordered his private historian to write down an exact account of what
had passed, so that in the years to come the miraculous escape of the
four men who had thought themselves murderers might never be forgotten.
The Sultan asked everybody concerned in the hunchback's affair to tell
him their stories. Among others was a prating barber, whose tale of
one of his brothers follows.
The Story of the Barber's Fifth Brother
As long as our father lived Alnaschar was very idle. Instead of
working for his bread he was not ashamed to ask for it every evening,
and to support himself next day on what he had received the night
before. When our father died, worn out by age, he only left seven
hundred silver drachmas to be divided amongst us, which made one
hundred for each son. Alnaschar, who had never possessed so much money
in his life, was quite puzzled to know what to do with it. After
reflecting upon the matter for some time he decided to lay it out on
glasses, bottles, and things of that sort, which he would buy from a
wholesale merchant. Having bought his stock he next proceeded to look
out for a small shop in a good position, where he sat down at the open
door, his wares being piled up in an uncovered basket in front of him,
waiting for a customer among the passers-by.
In this attitude he remained seated, his eyes fixed on the basket, but
his thoughts far away. Unknown to himself he began to talk out loud,
and a tailor, whose shop was next door to his, heard quite plainly what
he was saying.
"This basket," said Alnaschar to himself, "has cost me a hundred
drachmas--all that I possess in the world. Now in selling the
contents piece by piece I shall turn two hundred, and these hundreds I
shall again lay out in glass, which will produce four hundred. By this
means I shall in course of time make four thousand drachmas, which will
easily double themselves. When I have got ten thousand I will give up
the glass trade and become a jeweller, and devote all my time to
trading in pearls, diamonds, and other precious stones. At last,
having all the wealth that heart can desire, I will buy a beautiful
country house, with horses and slaves, and then I will lead a merry
life and entertain my friends. At my feasts I will send for musicians
and dancers from the neighbouring town to amuse my guests. In spite of
my riches I shall not, however, give up trade till I have amassed a
capital of a hundred thousand drachmas, when, having become a man of
much consideration, I shall request the hand of the grand-vizir's
daughter, taking care to inform the worthy father that I have heard
favourable reports of her beauty and wit, and that I will pay down on
our wedding day 3 thousand gold pieces. Should the vizir refuse my
proposal, which after all is hardly to be expected, I will seize him by
the beard and drag him to my house."
When I shall have married his daughter I will give her ten of the best
eunuchs that can be found for her service. Then I shall put on my most
gorgeous robes, and mounted on a horse with a saddle of fine gold, and
its trappings blazing with diamonds, followed by a train of slaves, I
shall present myself at the house of the grand-vizir, the people
casting down their eyes and bowing low as I pass along. At the foot of
the grand-vizir's staircase I shall dismount, and while my servants
stand in a row to right and left I shall ascend the stairs, at the head
of which the grand-vizir will be waiting to receive me. He will then
embrace me as his son-in-law, and giving me his seat will place himself
below me. This being done (as I have every reason to expect), two of
my servants will enter, each bearing a purse containing a thousand
pieces of gold. One of these I shall present to him saying, "Here are
the thousand gold pieces that I offered for your daughter's hand, and
here," I shall continue, holding out the second purse, "are another
thousand to show you that I am a man who is better than his word."
After hearing of such generosity the world will talk of nothing else.
I shall return home with the same pomp as I set out, and my wife will
send an officer to compliment me on my visit to her father, and I shall
confer on the officer the honour of a rich dress and a handsome gift.
Should she send one to me I shall refuse it and dismiss the bearer. I
shall never allow my wife to leave her rooms on any pretext whatever
without my permission, and my visits to her will be marked by all the
ceremony calculated to inspire respect. No establishment will be
better ordered than mine, and I shall take care always to be dressed in
a manner suitable to my position. In the evening, when we retire to
our apartments, I shall sit in the place of honour, where I shall
assume a grand demeanour and speak little, gazing straight before me,
and when my wife, lovely as the full moon, stands humbly in front of my
chair I shall pretend not to see her. Then her women will say to me,
"Respected lord and master, your wife and slave is before you waiting
to be noticed. She is mortified that you never deign to look her way;
she is tired of standing so long. Beg her, we pray you, to be seated."
Of course I shall give no signs of even hearing this speech, which will
vex them mightily. They will throw themselves at my feet with
lamentations, and at length I will raise my head and throw a careless
glance at her, then I shall go back to my former attitude. The women
will think that I am displeased at my wife's dress and will lead her
away to put on a finer one, and I on my side shall replace the one I am
wearing with another yet more splendid. They will then return to the
charge, but this time it will take much longer before they persuade me
even to look at my wife. It is as well to begin on my wedding-day as I
mean to go on for the rest of our lives.
The next day she will complain to her mother of the way she has been
treated, which will fill my heart with joy. Her mother will come to
seek me, and, kissing my hands with respect, will say, "My lord" (for
she could not dare to risk my anger by using the familiar title of
"son-in-law"), "My lord, do not, I implore you, refuse to look upon my
daughter or to approach her. She only lives to please you, and loves
you with all her soul." But I shall pay no more heed to my
mother-in-law's words than I did to those of the women. Again she will
beseech me to listen to her entreaties, throwing herself this time at