The Art of Public Speaking
_claimed_ the interest of all, and the humorous use of military terms
throughout:
Mr. Chairman and Gentlemen: "The Babies." Now, that's something
like. We haven't all had the good fortune to be ladies; we have
not all been generals, or poets, or statesmen; but when the
toast works down to the babies, we stand on common ground--for
we've all been babies. It is a shame that for a thousand years
the world's banquets have utterly ignored the baby, as if he
didn't amount to anything! If you, gentlemen, will stop and
think a minute--if you will go back fifty or a hundred years, to
your early married life, and recontemplate your first baby--you
will remember that he amounted to a good deal--and even
something over.
"As a vessel is known by the sound, whether it be cracked or not," said
Demosthenes, "so men are proved by their speeches whether they be wise
or foolish." Surely the occasional address furnishes a severe test of a
speaker's wisdom. To be trivial on a serious occasion, to be funereal at
a banquet, to be long-winded ever--these are the marks of non-sense.
Some imprudent souls seem to select the most friendly of after-dinner
occasions for the explosion of a bomb-shell of dispute. Around the
dinner table it is the custom of even political enemies to bury their
hatchets anywhere rather than in some convenient skull. It is the height
of bad taste to raise questions that in hours consecrated to good-will
can only irritate.
Occasional speeches offer good chances for humor, particularly the funny
story, for humor with a genuine point is not trivial. But do not spin a
whole skein of humorous yarns with no more connection than the inane and
threadbare "And that reminds me." An anecdote without bearing may be
funny but one less funny that fits theme and occasion is far preferable.
There is no way, short of sheer power of speech, that so surely leads to
the heart of an audience as rich, appropriate humor. The scattered
diners in a great banqueting hall, the after-dinner lethargy, the
anxiety over approaching last-train time, the over-full list of
over-full speakers--all throw out a challenge to the speaker to do his
best to win an interested hearing. And when success does come it is
usually due to a happy mixture of seriousness and humor, for humor alone
rarely scores so heavily as the two combined, while the utterly grave
speech _never_ does on such occasions.
If there is one place more than another where second-hand opinions and
platitudes are unwelcome it is in the after-dinner speech. Whether you
are toast-master or the last speaker to try to hold the waning crowd at
midnight, be as original as you can. How is it possible to summarize the
qualities that go to make up the good after-dinner speech, when we
remember the inimitable serious-drollery of Mark Twain, the sweet
southern eloquence of Henry W. Grady, the funereal gravity of the
humorous Charles Battell Loomis, the charm of Henry Van Dyke, the
geniality of F. Hopkinson Smith, and the all-round delightfulness of
Chauncey M. Depew? America is literally rich in such gladsome speakers,
who punctuate real sense with nonsense, and so make both effective.
Commemorative occasions, unveilings, commencements, dedications,
eulogies, and all the train of special public gatherings, offer rare
opportunities for the display of tact and good sense in handling
occasion, theme, and audience. When to be dignified and when colloquial,
when to soar and when to ramble arm in arm with your hearers, when to
flame and when to soothe, when to instruct and when to amuse--in a word,
the whole matter of APPROPRIATENESS must constantly be in mind lest you
write your speech on water.
Finally, remember the beatitude: Blessed is the man that maketh short
speeches, for he shall be invited to speak again.
SELECTIONS FOR STUDY
_LAST DAYS OF THE CONFEDERACY_
(Extract)
The Rapidan suggests another scene to which allusion has often
been made since the war, but which, as illustrative also of the
spirit of both armies, I may be permitted to recall in this
connection. In the mellow twilight of an April day the two
armies were holding their dress parades on the opposite hills
bordering the river. At the close of the parade a magnificent
brass band of the Union army played with great spirit the
patriotic airs, "Hail Columbia," and "Yankee Doodle." Whereupon
the Federal troops responded with a patriotic shout. The same
band then played the soul-stirring strains of "Dixie," to which
a mighty response came from ten thousand Southern troops. A few
moments later, when the stars had come out as witnesses and when
all nature was in harmony, there came from the same band the old
melody, "Home, Sweet Home." As its familiar and pathetic notes
rolled over the water and thrilled through the spirits of the
soldiers, the hills reverberated with a thundering response from
the united voices of both armies. What was there in this old,
old music, to so touch the chords of sympathy, so thrill the
spirits and cause the frames of brave men to tremble with
emotion? It was the thought of home. To thousands, doubtless, it
was the thought of that Eternal Home to which the next battle
might be the gateway. To thousands of others it was the thought
of their dear earthly homes, where loved ones at that twilight
hour were bowing round the family altar, and asking God's care
over the absent soldier boy.
--GENERAL J.B. GORDON, C.S.A.
_WELCOME TO KOSSUTH_
(Extract)
Let me ask you to imagine that the contest, in which the United
States asserted their independence of Great Britain, had been
unsuccessful; that our armies, through treason or a league of
tyrants against us, had been broken and scattered; that the
great men who led them, and who swayed our councils--our
Washington, our Franklin, and the venerable president of the
American Congress--had been driven forth as exiles. If there had
existed at that day, in any part of the civilized world, a
powerful Republic, with institutions resting on the same
foundations of liberty which our own countrymen sought to
establish, would there have been in that Republic any
hospitality too cordial, any sympathy too deep, any zeal for
their glorious but unfortunate cause, too fervent or too active
to be shown toward these illustrious fugitives? Gentlemen, the
case I have supposed is before you. The Washingtons, the
Franklins, the Hancocks of Hungary, driven out by a far worse
tyranny than was ever endured here, are wanderers in foreign
lands. Some of them have sought a refuge in our country--one
sits with this company our guest to-night--and we must measure
the duty we owe them by the same standard which we would have
had history apply, if our ancestors had met with a fate like
theirs.
--WILLIAM CULLEN BRYANT.
_THE INFLUENCE OF UNIVERSITIES_
(Extract)
When the excitement of party warfare presses dangerously near
our national safeguards, I would have the intelligent
conservatism of our universities and colleges warn the
contestants in impressive tones against the perils of a breach
impossible to repair.
When popular discontent and passion are stimulated by the arts
of designing partisans to a pitch perilously near to class
hatred or sectional anger, I would have our universities and
colleges sound the alarm in the name of American brotherhood and
fraternal dependence.
When the attempt is made to delude the people into the belief
that their suffrages can change the operation of national laws,
I would have our universities and colleges proclaim that those
laws are inexorable and far removed from political control.
When selfish interest seeks undue private benefits through
governmental aid, and public places are claimed as rewards of
party service, I would have our universities and colleges
persuade the people to a relinquishment of the demand for party
spoils and exhort them to a disinterested and patriotic love of
their government, whose unperverted operation secures to every
citizen his just share of the safety and prosperity it holds in
store for all.
I would have the influence of these institutions on the side of
religion and morality. I would have those they send out among
the people not ashamed to acknowledge God, and to proclaim His
interposition in the affairs of men, enjoining such obedience to
His laws as makes manifest the path of national perpetuity and
prosperity
--GROVER CLEVELAND, delivered at the Princeton
Sesqui-Centennial, 1896.
_EULOGY OF GARFIELD_
(Extract)
Great in life, he was surpassingly great in death. For no cause,
in the very frenzy of wantonness and wickedness, by the red hand
of murder, he was thrust from the full tide of this world's
interest, from its hopes, its aspirations, its victories, into
the visible presence of death--and he did not quail. Not alone
for the one short moment in which, stunned and dazed, he could
give up life, hardly aware of its relinquishment, but through
days of deadly languor, through weeks of agony, that was not
less agony because silently borne, with clear sight and calm
courage, he looked into his open grave. What blight and ruin met
his anguished eyes, whose lips may tell--what brilliant, broken
plans, what baffled, high ambitions, what sundering of strong,
warm, manhood's friendships, what bitter rending of sweet
household ties! Behind him a proud, expectant nation, a great
host of sustaining friends, a cherished and happy mother,
wearing the full rich honors of her early toil and tears; the
wife of his youth, whose whole life lay in his; the little boys
not yet emerged from childhood's day of frolic; the fair young
daughter; the sturdy sons just springing into closest
companionship, claiming every day and every day rewarding a
father's love and care; and in his heart the eager, rejoicing
power to meet all demand. Before him, desolation and great
darkness! And his soul was not shaken. His countrymen were
thrilled with instant, profound and universal sympathy.
Masterful in his mortal weakness, he became the centre of a
nation's love, enshrined in the prayers of a world. But all the
love and all the sympathy could not share with him his
suffering. He trod the wine press alone. With unfaltering front
he faced death. With unfailing tenderness he took leave of life.
Above the demoniac hiss of the assassin's bullet he heard the
voice of God. With simple resignation he bowed to the Divine
decree.
--JAMES G. BLAINE, delivered at the memorial service held
by the U.S. Senate and House of Representatives.
_EULOGY OF LEE_
(Extract)
At the bottom of all true heroism is unselfishness. Its crowning
expression is sacrifice. The world is suspicious of vaunted
heroes. But when the true hero has come, and we know that here
he is in verity, ah! how the hearts of men leap forth to greet
him! how worshipfully we welcome God's noblest work--the strong,
honest, fearless, upright man. In Robert Lee was such a hero
vouchsafed to us and to mankind, and whether we behold him
declining command of the federal army to fight the battles and
share the miseries of his own people; proclaiming on the heights
in front of Gettysburg that the fault of the disaster was his