The Art of Public Speaking
own; leading charges in the crisis of combat; walking under the
yoke of conquest without a murmur of complaint; or refusing
fortune to come here and train the youth of his country in the
paths of duty,--he is ever the same meek, grand, self-sacrificing
spirit. Here he exhibited qualities not less worthy and heroic
than those displayed on the broad and open theater of
conflict, when the eyes of nations watched his every action.
Here in the calm repose of civil and domestic duties, and in
the trying routine of incessant tasks, he lived a life as high
as when, day by day, he marshalled and led his thin and
wasting lines, and slept by night upon the field that was to
be drenched again in blood upon the morrow. And now he has
vanished from us forever. And is this all that is left of
him--this handful of dust beneath the marble stone? No! the
ages answer as they rise from the gulfs of time, where lie the
wrecks of kingdoms and estates, holding up in their hands as
their only trophies, the names of those who have wrought for
man in the love and fear of God, and in love--unfearing for
their fellow-men. No! the present answers, bending by his
tomb. No! the future answers as the breath of the morning fans
its radiant brow, and its soul drinks in sweet inspirations
from the lovely life of Lee. No! methinks the very heavens
echo, as melt into their depths the words of reverent love
that voice the hearts of men to the tingling stars.
Come we then to-day in loyal love to sanctify our memories, to
purify our hopes, to make strong all good intent by communion
with the spirit of him who, being dead yet speaketh. Come,
child, in thy spotless innocence; come, woman, in thy purity;
come, youth, in thy prime; come, manhood, in thy strength; come,
age, in thy ripe wisdom; come, citizen; come, soldier; let us
strew the roses and lilies of June around his tomb, for he, like
them, exhaled in his life Nature's beneficence, and the grave
has consecrated that life and given it to us all; let us crown
his tomb with the oak, the emblem of his strength, and with the
laurel the emblem of his glory, and let these guns, whose voices
he knew of old, awake the echoes of the mountains, that nature
herself may join in his solemn requiem. Come, for here he rests,
and
On this green bank, by this fair stream,
We set to-day a votive stone,
That memory may his deeds redeem?
When, like our sires, our sons are gone.
--JOHN WARWICK DANIEL, on the unveiling of Lee's statue at
Washington and Lee University, Lexington, Virginia, 1883.
QUESTIONS AND EXERCISES
1. Why should humor find a place in after-dinner speaking?
2. Briefly give your impressions of any notable after-dinner address
that you have heard.
3. Briefly outline an imaginary occasion of any sort and give three
subjects appropriate for addresses.
4. Deliver one such address, not to exceed ten minutes in length.
5. What proportion of emotional ideas do you find in the extracts given
in this chapter?
6. Humor was used in some of the foregoing addresses--in which others
would it have been inappropriate?
7. Prepare and deliver an after-dinner speech suited to one of the
following occasions, and be sure to use humor:
A lodge banquet.
A political party dinner.
A church men's club dinner.
A civic association banquet.
A banquet in honor of a celebrity.
A woman's club annual dinner.
A business men's association dinner.
A manufacturers' club dinner.
An alumni banquet.
An old home week barbecue.
FOOTNOTES:
[Footnote 35: See also page 205.]
CHAPTER XXXI
MAKING CONVERSATION EFFECTIVE
In conversation avoid the extremes of forwardness and reserve.
--CATO.
Conversation is the laboratory and workshop of the student.
--EMERSON, _Essays: Circles_.
The father of W.E. Gladstone considered conversation to be both an art
and an accomplishment. Around the dinner table in his home some topic of
local or national interest, or some debated question, was constantly
being discussed. In this way a friendly rivalry for supremacy in
conversation arose among the family, and an incident observed in the
street, an idea gleaned from a book, a deduction from personal
experience, was carefully stored as material for the family exchange.
Thus his early years of practise in elegant conversation prepared the
younger Gladstone for his career as a leader and speaker.
There is a sense in which the ability to converse effectively is
efficient public speaking, for our conversation is often heard by many,
and occasionally decisions of great moment hinge upon the tone and
quality of what we say in private.
Indeed, conversation in the aggregate probably wields more power than
press and platform combined. Socrates taught his great truths, not from
public rostrums, but in personal converse. Men made pilgrimages to
Goethe's library and Coleridge's home to be charmed and instructed by
their speech, and the culture of many nations was immeasurably
influenced by the thoughts that streamed out from those rich
well-springs.
Most of the world-moving speeches are made in the course of
conversation. Conferences of diplomats, business-getting arguments,
decisions by boards of directors, considerations of corporate policy,
all of which influence the political, mercantile and economic maps of
the world, are usually the results of careful though informal
conversation, and the man whose opinions weigh in such crises is he who
has first carefully pondered the words of both antagonist and
protagonist.
However important it may be to attain self-control in light social
converse, or about the family table, it is undeniably vital to have
oneself perfectly in hand while taking part in a momentous conference.
Then the hints that we have given on poise, alertness, precision of
word, clearness of statement, and force of utterance, with respect to
public speech, are equally applicable to conversation.
The form of nervous egotism--for it is both--that suddenly ends in
flusters just when the vital words need to be uttered, is the sign of
coming defeat, for a conversation is often a contest. If you feel this
tendency embarrassing you, be sure to listen to Holmes's advice:
And when you stick on conversational burs,
Don't strew your pathway with those dreadful _urs_.
Here bring your will into action, for your trouble is a wandering
attention. You must _force_ your mind to persist along the chosen line
of conversation and resolutely refuse to be diverted by _any_ subject or
happening that may unexpectedly pop up to distract you. To fail here is
to lose effectiveness utterly.
Concentration is the keynote of conversational charm and efficiency. The
haphazard habit of expression that uses bird-shot when a bullet is
needed insures missing the game, for diplomacy of all sorts rests upon
the precise application of precise words, particularly--if one may
paraphrase Tallyrand--in those crises when language is no longer used to
conceal thought.
We may frequently gain new light on old subjects by looking at
word-derivations. Conversation signifies in the original a turn-about
exchange of ideas, yet most people seem to regard it as a monologue.
Bronson Alcott used to say that many could argue, but few converse.
The first thing to remember in conversation, then, is that
listening--respectful, sympathetic, alert listening--is not only due to
our fellow converser but due to ourselves. Many a reply loses its point
because the speaker is so much interested in what he is about to say
that it is really no reply at all but merely an irritating and
humiliating irrelevancy.
Self-expression is exhilarating. This explains the eternal impulse to
decorate totem poles and paint pictures, write poetry and expound
philosophy. One of the chief delights of conversation is the opportunity
it affords for self-expression. A good conversationalist who monopolizes
all the conversation, will be voted a bore because he denies others the
enjoyment of self-expression, while a mediocre talker who listens
interestedly may be considered a good conversationalist because he
permits his companions to please themselves through self-expression.
They are praised who please: they please who listen well.
The first step in remedying habits of confusion in manner, awkward
bearing, vagueness in thought, and lack of precision in utterance, is to
recognize your faults. If you are serenely unconscious of them, no
one--least of all yourself--can help you. But once diagnose your own
weaknesses, and you can overcome them by doing four things:
1. _WILL_ to overcome them, and keep on willing.
2. Hold yourself in hand by assuring yourself that you know precisely
what you ought to say. If you cannot do that, be quiet until you are
clear on this vital point.
3. Having thus assured yourself, cast out the fear of those who listen
to you--they are only human and will respect your words if you really
have something to say and say it briefly, simply, and clearly.
4. Have the courage to study the English language until you are master
of at least its simpler forms.
_Conversational Hints_
Choose some subject that will prove of general interest to the whole
group. Do not explain the mechanism of a gas engine at an afternoon tea
or the culture of hollyhocks at a stag party.
It is not considered good taste for a man to bare his arm in public and
show scars or deformities. It is equally bad form for him to flaunt his
own woes, or the deformity of some one else's character. The public
demands plays and stories that end happily. All the world is seeking
happiness. They cannot long be interested in your ills and troubles.
George Cohan made himself a millionaire before he was thirty by writing
cheerful plays. One of his rules is generally applicable to
conversation: "Always leave them laughing when you say good bye."
Dynamite the "I" out of your conversation. Not one man in nine hundred
and seven can talk about himself without being a bore. The man who can
perform that feat can achieve marvels without talking about himself, so
the eternal "I" is not permissible even in his talk.
If you habitually build your conversation around your own interests it
may prove very tiresome to your listener. He may be thinking of bird
dogs or dry fly fishing while you are discussing the fourth dimension,
or the merits of a cucumber lotion. The charming conversationalist is
prepared to talk in terms of his listener's interest. If his listener
spends his spare time investigating Guernsey cattle or agitating social
reforms, the discriminating conversationalist shapes his remarks
accordingly. Richard Washburn Child says he knows a man of mediocre
ability who can charm men much abler than himself when he discusses
electric lighting. This same man probably would bore, and be bored, if
he were forced to converse about music or Madagascar.
Avoid platitudes and hackneyed phrases. If you meet a friend from Keokuk
on State Street or on Pike's Peak, it is not necessary to observe: "How
small this world is after all!" This observation was doubtless made
prior to the formation of Pike's Peak. "This old world is getting better
every day." "Fanner's wives do not have to work as hard as formerly."
"It is not so much the high cost of living as the cost of high living."
Such observations as these excite about the same degree of admiration as
is drawn out by the appearance of a 1903-model touring car. If you have
nothing fresh or interesting you can always remain silent. How would you
like to read a newspaper that flashed out in bold headlines "Nice