The Book of the Courtier
15.—“But there are many other ways of entertaining ladies that are
proper to old men.”
“What are they?” said my lord Morello. “Telling stories?”
“That is one,” replied messer Federico. “But as you know, every age
brings its own thoughts with it, and has some peculiar virtue and some
peculiar vice. Thus, while old men are ordinarily more prudent than
young men, more continent and wiser, so too they are more garrulous,
miserly, querulous and timid; they are always scolding about the house,
harsh to their children, and wish everyone to follow their way. And on
the contrary young men are spirited, generous, frank, but prone to
quarrel, voluble, loving and hating in an instant, eager in all their
pleasures, unfriendly to him who counsels well.
“But of all ages, that of manhood is the most temperate, because it has
left the faults of youth behind and has not yet reached those of old
age. Being placed then at the two extremes, young and old must needs
learn from reason how to correct the faults that nature implants in
them. Thus, old men ought to guard against much self-praise and the
other evil habits that we have said are peculiar to them, and to use
that prudence and knowledge which they have gained from long experience,
and to be like oracles consulted of all men; and in telling what they
know, they ought to have the grace to speak to the point and temper the
gravity of their years with a certain mild and sportive humour. In this
way they will be good Courtiers, enjoy their intercourse with men and
with ladies, and be always welcome,—without singing or dancing; and when
need arises they will display their worth in affairs of importance.
16.—“Let young men use this same care and judgment, not indeed in
copying old men’s ways,—for that which befits the one would not at all
befit the other, and we are wont to say that over wisdom is a bad sign
in the young,—but in correcting their own natural faults. Hence I
greatly like to see a youth, and especially when handling weapons, who
has a touch of the grave and taciturn; who is master of himself, without
those restless manners which are often seen at that age; because such
youths seem to have a certain something in them above the rest. Moreover
this quietness of manner has in it a kind of impressive boldness,
because it seems the result not of anger but of judgment, and governed
more by reason than by passion. This is nearly always found in all men
of high courage, and we see it also among those brute animals that have
more nobility and strength than their fellows,—as in the lion and the
eagle.
“Nor is this strange; for an impetuous and sudden movement,—which
without words or other signs of wrath abruptly bursts with all its force
at once from the quiet that is its contrary, as it were like the
discharge of a cannon,—is far more violent and furious than that which
increases by degrees and grows hotter little by little. Therefore they
who talk much and move about and cannot stand still, when they have an
enterprise on foot, seem thus to exhaust their powers; and as our friend
messer Pietro Monte well says, they act like boys who sing from fear
when they walk at night, as if to keep up their courage by their
singing.
“Again, just as calm and thoughtful youthfulness is very praiseworthy in
a young man, because the levity which is the fault peculiar to his age
seems to be tempered and corrected,—so in an old man a green and lively
old age is to be highly esteemed, because his stoutness of heart seems
to be so great as to warm and strengthen his feeble and chill years, and
to keep him in that middle state which is the best part of our life.
17.—“But in brief not even all these qualities in our Courtier will
suffice to win universal favour of lords, cavaliers and ladies, unless
he has also a gentle and amiable manner in daily talk. And I verily
believe it to be difficult to give any rule for this, because of the
infinite variety of things that arise in conversation, and because among
all the men on earth no two are found who have minds quite alike. So
whoever has to prepare himself for conversation with many, must needs be
guided by his own judgment, and distinguishing the differences between
one man and another, must daily change his style and method according to
the character of the person with whom he has to converse. Nor could I
for my part give other rules in this matter than those already given,
which our friend my lord Morello has learned at the confessional from
his youth up.”
Here my lady Emilia laughed, and said:
“You shirk labour too much, messer Federico. But you shall not succeed,
for you must talk on until it is time to go to bed.”
“And what, my Lady, if I have nothing to say?” replied messer Federico.
“There you shall show your wit,” said my lady Emilia. “And if what I
once heard be true, that there was a man so clever and eloquent that he
did not lack material to write a book in praise of a fly, others in
praise of the fourth day ague, and another in praise of baldness,—will
you also not have the courage to find something to say about
Courtiership for one evening?”[160]
“We have already said enough about it to make two books,” replied messer
Federico. “But since my excuse is of no avail, I will talk until you
think I have fulfilled, if not my duty, at least the limit of my powers.
18.—“I think that the conversation which the Courtier ought most to try
in every way to make acceptable, is that which he holds with his prince;
and although this word ‘conversation’ implies a certain equality that
seems impossible between a lord and his inferior, yet we will call it so
for the present. Therefore, besides daily showing everyone that he
possesses the worth we have already described, I would have the Courtier
strive, with all the thoughts and forces of his mind, to love and almost
to adore the prince whom he serves, above every other thing, and mould
his wishes, habits and all his ways to his prince’s liking.”
Without waiting for more, Pietro da Napoli here said:
“We already have enough Courtiers of this kind, for methinks you have in
a few words described for us a noble flatterer.”
“You are much in errour,” replied messer Federico; “for flatterers love
neither their prince nor their friends, which I tell you I wish chiefly
in our Courtier.
“Moreover it is possible without flattery to obey and further the wishes
of him we serve, for I am speaking of those wishes that are reasonable
and right, or of those that in themselves are neither good nor evil,
such as would be a liking for play or a devotion to one kind of exercise
above another. And I would have the Courtier bend himself to this even
if he be by nature alien to it, so that on seeing him his lord shall
always feel that he will have something agreeable to say; which will
come about if he has the good judgment to perceive what his prince
likes, and the wit and prudence to bend himself thereto, and a
deliberate purpose to like that which perhaps he by nature dislikes. And
adopting these precautions, he will never be out of humour or melancholy
before his prince, nor so taciturn as many are who seem to bear a grudge
against their patrons, which is a truly odious thing. He will not be
given to evil speaking, especially against his own lords; which often
happens, for in courts there seems to rage a fury[161] of such sort that
those who have been most favoured by their lord and have been raised to
eminence from the lowest state, are always complaining and speaking ill
of him; which is unseemly not only in such as these, but even in those
who chance to have been ill used.
“Our Courtier will show no foolish presumption; he will not be a bearer
of evil tidings; he will not be thoughtless in sometimes saying things
that offend instead of pleasing as he intends. He will not be obstinate
and disputatious, as some are who seem to delight in nothing but to be
troublesome and disagreeable like flies, and who make a point of
spitefully contradicting everyone without discrimination. He will not be
an idle or untruthful tattler, nor a boaster nor pointless flatterer,
but modest and reserved, always and especially in public showing that
reverence and respect which befit the servant towards the master; and he
will not behave like many, who on meeting any great prince, with whom if
only they have spoken but once, press forward with a certain smiling and
friendly look, as if they wished to caress an equal or show favour to an
inferior.
“He will very rarely or almost never ask anything of his lord for
himself, lest his lord, being reluctant to deny it to him directly, may
sometimes grant it with an ill grace, which is much worse. Even in
asking for others he will choose his time discreetly and ask proper and
reasonable things; and he will so frame his request, by omitting what he
knows may displease and by skilfully doing away with difficulties, that
his lord shall always grant it, or shall not think him offended by
refusal even if it be denied; for when lords have denied a favour to an
importunate suitor, they often reflect that he who asked it with such
eagerness, must have desired it greatly, and so having failed to obtain
it, must feel ill will towards him who denied it; and believing this,
they begin to hate the man and can never more look upon him with favour.
19.—“He will not seek to intrude unasked into his master’s chamber or
private retreats, even though he be of great consequence; for when great
lords are in private, they often like a little liberty to say and do
what they please, and do not wish to be seen or heard by any who may
criticise them; and it is very proper. Hence I think those men do ill
who blame great lords for consorting privately with persons who are of
little worth save in matters of personal service, for I do not see why
lords should not have the same freedom to relax their minds that we fain
would have to relax ours. But if a Courtier accustomed to deal with
important matters, chances to find himself in private with his lord, he
must put on another face, postpone grave concerns to another place and
time, and give the conversation a cast that shall amuse and please his
lord, so as not to disturb that repose of mind of which I speak.
“In this however, as in everything else, let him above all take care not
to weary his lord, and let him wait for favours to be offered him rather
than angle for them so openly as many do, who are so greedy that it
seems as if they must die if they do not get what they seek; and if they
happen to meet any disfavour or to see others favoured, they suffer such
anguish that they can in no wise hide their envy. Thus they make
everyone laugh at them, and often are the cause that leads their master
to bestow favour on the first comer simply to spite them. Then again, if
they find themselves in at all more than common favour, they become so
intoxicated by it that they stand palsied[162] with joy, and seem not to
know what to do with their hands and feet, and they can hardly keep from
calling on the company to come and see and congratulate them as upon
something to which they are quite unused.
“Of such sort I would not have our Courtier. I am quite willing that he
should like favours, but not that he should value them so highly as to
seem unable to do without them. And when he receives them, let him not
seem unused or strange to them, or marvel that they are offered him; nor
let him refuse them, as some do who refrain from accepting them out of
mere ignorance, and thus seem to the bystanders to be conscious of not
deserving them.
“Yet a man ought always to be a little more backward than his rank
warrants; to accept not too readily the favours and honours that are
offered him; and to refuse them modestly, showing that he values them