The Book of the Courtier
to him, as we should to ourselves; for there are so many dark corners
and recesses in our minds that it is impossible for human wit to
penetrate the deceptions they conceal. Hence I think it were well to
love and serve one more than another according to merit and worth; yet
never to be so sure of friendship’s sweet enticement, that we at last
have cause to rue our trust.”
30.—Then messer Federico said:
“Verily the loss would be far greater than the gain, if human
intercourse were to be deprived of that highest pitch of friendship
which in my opinion gives us all the good our life has in it; and
therefore I will in no wise admit that what you say is reasonable, nay
rather I venture to assert, and for the clearest reasons, that without
this perfect friendship men would be far unhappier than all other
creatures. And if some profanely stain this sacred name of friendship,
we ought not on that account to uproot it from our hearts, and for the
guilt of the wicked deprive the good of such felicity. And for my part I
think there are here among us more than one pair of friends, whose love
is steadfast and without deceit and lasting unto death with like
desires, no less than if they were those ancients whom you mentioned
awhile ago; and it happens thus when a man chooses a friend, not only
from heaven-born impulse, but like himself in character. And in all this
I am speaking of the good and virtuous, for the friendship of the wicked
is not friendship.
“I am well pleased that so close a tie as this should not join or bind
more than two, for otherwise perhaps it would be dangerous; because, as
you know, it is harder to attune three musical instruments together,
than two. Therefore, I would that our Courtier might have one special
and hearty friend, if possible, of the kind we have described; then that
he might love, honour and respect all others according to their worth
and merits, and always contrive to consort more with such as are in high
esteem and noble and of known virtue, than with the ignoble and those of
little worth; in such wise that he may be loved and honoured by them
also. And he will accomplish this if he be courteous, kind, generous,
affable and mild with others, zealous and active to serve and guard his
friends’ welfare and honour both absent and present, enduring such of
their natural defects as are endurable, without breaking with them for
slight cause, and correcting in himself those that are kindly pointed
out; never thrusting himself before others to reach the first and most
honoured places; nor acting like some, who seem to despise the world and
insist with a kind of tiresome preciseness on laying down the law for
everyone, and who, besides being unseasonably contentious in every
little thing, censure that which they do not do themselves, and are
always seeking occasion for complaint against their friends,—which is a
very odious thing.”
31.—Messer Federico pausing here, my lord Gaspar Pallavicino said:
“I should like to have you speak a little more in detail than you do
about this matter of converse with our friends; for in truth you keep
much to generalities, and show us things in passing, as it were.”
“How ‘in passing’?” replied messer Federico. “Perhaps you would have me
tell the very words that you must use? Do you not think we have talked
enough about this?”
“Enough I think,” replied my lord Gaspar. “Yet I should like to hear a
few more details about the manner of intercourse with men and women; for
the thing seems to me of great importance, seeing that most of our time
at courts is given to it; and if it were always the same, it would soon
become tedious.”
“I think,” replied messer Federico, “we have given the Courtier
knowledge of so many things, that he can easily vary his conversation
and adapt himself to the quality of the persons with whom he has to do,
presupposing he has good sense and governs himself by it, and sometimes
turns to grave matters and sometimes to festivals and games, according
to the occasion.”
“And what games?” said my lord Gaspar.
Then messer Federico replied, laughing:
“Let us ask advice of Fra Serafino, who invents new ones every day.”
“Jesting apart,” answered my lord Gaspar, “do you think it would be a
vice in the Courtier to play at cards and dice?”
“Not I,” said messer Federico, “unless he did so too constantly and
neglected more important matters for them, or indeed unless he played
for nothing else but to win money, and cheated the company, and showed
such grief and vexation at losing as to argue himself a miser.”
“And what,” replied my lord Gaspar, “do you say of the game of chess?”
“It is certainly a pleasant and ingenious amusement,” said messer
Federico. “But I think there is one defect in it. And that is, there is
too much to know, so that whoever would excel in the game of chess must
spend much time on it, methinks, and give it as much study as if he
would learn some noble science or do anything else of importance you
please; and yet in the end with all his pains he has learned nothing but
a game. Therefore I think a very unusual thing is true of it, namely
that mediocrity is more praiseworthy than excellence.”
My lord Gaspar replied:
“Many Spaniards excel in this and divers other games, yet without giving
them much study or neglecting other things.”
“Believe me,” replied messer Federico, “they do give much study thereto,
although covertly. But those other games you speak of, besides chess,
are perhaps like many I have seen played (although of little moment),
which serve only to make the vulgar marvel; wherefore methinks they
deserve no other praise or reward than that which Alexander the Great
gave the fellow who at a good distance impaled chick-peas on the point
of a needle.[173]
32.—“But since it appears that fortune exerts immense power over men’s
opinions as over many other things, we sometimes see that a gentleman,
however well conditioned he may be and endowed with many graces, is
unacceptable to a prince, and goes against the grain as we say;[174] and
this without any apparent reason, so that as soon as he comes into the
prince’s presence and before he is known by the others, although he be
keen and ready with retorts, and display himself to advantage in
gestures, manners, words, and all else that is becoming,—the prince will
show small esteem for him, nay will soon put some affront upon him. And
thus it will come about that the others will follow the prince’s lead,
and everyone will regard the man as of little worth, nor will there be
any to prize or esteem him, or laugh at his amusing talk or hold him in
any respect; nay, all will begin to deride and persecute him. Nor will
it be enough for the poor man to make good retorts or take things as if
said in jest, for the very pages will set upon him, so that even if he
were the sturdiest man in the world, he must perforce remain foiled and
ridiculed.
“And on the other hand, if the prince shows favour to a very dolt, who
knows neither how to speak nor how to act,—his manners and ways (however
silly and uncouth they be) will often be praised by everyone with
exclamations and astonishment, and the whole court will seem to admire
and respect him, and everyone will appear to laugh at his jests and at
certain rustic and stupid jokes that ought to excite rather disgust than
laughter: to such degree are men firm and fixed in the opinions that are
engendered by the favour and disfavour of lords.
“Therefore I would have our Courtier set off his worth as best he can,
with cleverness and skill, and whenever he has to go where he is strange
and unknown, let him take care that good opinion of him precedes him,
and see to it that men there shall know of his being highly rated in
other places, among other lords, ladies and gentlemen; for that fame
which seems to spring from many judgments, begets a kind of firm belief
in a man’s worth, which, in minds thus disposed and prepared, is then
easily maintained and increased by his conduct: moreover he escapes that
annoyance which I feel when asked who I am and what my name is.”
33.—“I do not see how this can help,” replied messer Bernardo Bibbiena;
“for it has several times happened to me, and I think to many others,
that having been led by the word of persons of judgment to imagine
something to be of great excellence before I saw it,—on seeing it I
found it paltry and was much disappointed of what I expected. And the
reason was simply that I had put too much trust in report and formed in
my mind so high an expectation, that although the real thing was great
and excellent, yet when afterwards measured by the fact, it seemed very
paltry by comparison with what I had imagined. And I fear it may be so
with our Courtier too. Therefore I do not see the advantage of raising
such expectations and sending our fame before us; for the mind often
imagines things that it is impossible to fulfil, and thus we lose more
than we gain.”
Here messer Federico said:
“The things that you and many others find inferior to their reputation,
are for the most part of such sort that the eye can judge of them at a
glance,—as if you had never been at Naples or Rome, and from hearing
them so much talked of, you were to imagine something far beyond what
they afterwards proved to be when seen; but such is not the case with
men’s character, because that which is outwardly seen is the least part.
Thus, on first hearing a gentleman speak, if you should not find in him
that worth which you had previously imagined, you would not at once
reverse your good opinion of him, as you would in those matters whereof
the eye is instant judge, but you would wait from day to day to discover
some other hidden virtue, still holding fast to the good impression you
had received from so many lips; and later, if he were thus richly
endowed (as I assume our Courtier to be), your confidence in his
reputation would be hourly confirmed, because his acts would justify it,
and you would be always imagining something more than you saw.
34.—“And surely it cannot be denied that these first impressions have
very great weight, and that we ought to be very careful regarding them.
And to the end that you may see how important they are, I tell you that
in my time I knew a gentleman, who, while he was of very gentle aspect
and modest manners and also valiant in arms, yet did not so greatly
excel in any of these things but that he had many equals and even
superiors. However, fate so willed that a lady chanced to fall most
ardently in love with him, and her love increasing daily with the signs
that the young man gave of loving her in return, and there being no way
for them to speak together, she was moved by excess of passion to reveal
her desires to another lady through whom she hoped to secure some
assistance. This lady was in no wise inferior to the first in rank or
beauty; whence it came to pass, that on hearing the young man (whom she
had never seen) spoken of so tenderly, and perceiving that he was
extravagantly loved by her friend (whom she knew to be very discreet and
of excellent judgment), she straightway imagined him to be the
handsomest and wisest and most discreet and in short the most lovable
man in the world. And thus, without having seen him, she became so
passionately enamoured of him, that she began making every effort to
secure him, not for her friend but for herself, and inducing him to
return her love: which she succeeded in doing with little effort, for in
truth she was a lady rather to be wooed than to woo others.
“Now hear the end of my tale. Not long afterwards it happened that a
letter, which this second lady had written to her lover, fell into the
hands of still another lady, also very noble and of good character and