The Book of the Courtier
this was all the pay left him for the capons. Ponzio played numberless
tricks of this sort.
“There have also been many other men who were amusing in like manner,
such as Gonnella, Meliolo in his day,[322] and at the present time our
friends Fra Mariano[60] and Fra Serafino[61] here, and many whom you all
know. And doubtless this method is well enough for men who have no other
business, but I think the Courtier’s practical jokes ought to be
somewhat farther removed from scurrility. Care must be taken also not to
let practical joking degenerate into knavery, as we see in the case of
many rogues, who go through the world with sundry wiles to get money,
now pretending one thing and now another. Moreover the Courtier’s tricks
must not be too rude; and above all let him pay respect and reverence to
women in this as in all other things, and especially where their honour
may be touched.”
90.—Then my lord Gaspar said:
“Indeed, messer Bernardo, you are too partial towards women. And why
would you have men pay more respect to women than women to men? Should
not our honour be as dear to us, forsooth, as theirs to them? Do you
think that women ought to taunt men with words and nonsense without the
least restraint in anything, and that men should quietly endure it and
thank them into the bargain?”
Then messer Bernardo replied:
“I do not say that in their pleasantries and practical jokes women ought
not to use towards men the same respect which we have before described;
but I do say they may taunt men with unchastity more freely than men may
taunt them. And this is because we have made unto ourselves a law,
whereby free living is in us neither vice nor fault nor disgrace, while
in women it is such utter infamy and shame that she of whom evil is once
spoken is disgraced forever, whether the imputation[323] cast upon her
be false or true. Wherefore, since speaking of women’s honour brings
such risk of doing them grievous harm, I say we ought to attack them in
some other way, and to abstain from this; because to strike too hard
with our pleasantries and practical jokes, is to exceed the bounds that
we have before said are befitting a gentleman.”
91.—As messer Bernardo paused a little here, my lord Ottaviano Fregoso
said, laughing:
“My lord Gaspar might answer you that this law you refer to, which we
have made unto ourselves, is perhaps not so unreasonable as it seems to
you. For since women were very imperfect creatures and of little or no
worth in comparison with men, and since of themselves they were not
capable of performing any worthy act,—it was necessary by fear of shame
and infamy to lay upon them a restraint that might impart some quality
of goodness to them almost against their will. And chastity seemed more
needful for them than any other quality, in order to have certainty as
to our offspring; hence it was necessary to use every possible skill,
art and way to make women chaste, and almost to permit them to be of
little worth in all things else and to do constantly the reverse of what
they ought. Therefore, since they are allowed to commit all other faults
without blame, if we taunt them with those defects which (as we have
said) are all permitted to them and therefore not incongruous in them,
and of which they take no heed,—we shall never arouse laughter; for you
said awhile ago that laughter is aroused by certain things that are
incongruous.”
92.—Then my lady Duchess said:
“You speak thus of women, my lord Ottaviano, and then you complain that
they love you not.”
“I do not complain of this,” replied my lord Ottaviano, “but rather
thank them in that they do not, by loving me, force me to love them. Nor
am I speaking my own mind, but saying that my lord Gaspar might use
these arguments.”
Messer Bernardo said:
“Verily it would be a great gain to women if they could conciliate two
such great enemies of theirs as you and my lord Gaspar are.”
“I am not their enemy,” replied my lord Gaspar, “but you are indeed an
enemy of men; for if you would not have women taunted as to their
honour, you ought also to impose on them a law that they shall not taunt
men for that which is as shameful to us as unchastity is to women. And
why was not Alonso Carillo’s retort to my lady Boadilla (about hoping to
escape with his life by being asked to become her husband) as seemly in
him, as it was for her to say that all who knew him thought the king was
about to have him hanged? And why was it not as allowable for Riciardo
Minutoli to deceive Filippello’s wife and get her to go to that resort,
as for Beatrice to make her husband Egano[324] get out of bed and be
cudgelled by Anichino, after she had long been with the latter? And for
that other woman to tie a string to her toe and make her husband believe
that she was someone else?—since you say that these women’s pranks in
Giovanni Boccaccio are so clever and fine.”
93.—Then messer Bernardo said, laughing:
“My Lords, as my task was simply to discuss pleasantries, I do not mean
to go outside my subject. And I think I have already told why it does
not seem to me befitting to attack women in their honour either by word
or deed, and have imposed on them as well a rule that they shall not
touch men in a tender spot.
“As for the pranks and sallies cited by you, my lord Gaspar, I grant
that although what Alonso said to my lady Boadilla may touch a little on
her chastity, it still does not displease me, because it is very remote,
and is so veiled that it may be taken innocently, and the speaker might
disguise his meaning and declare he had not meant it. He said another
that was to my thinking very unseemly. And it was this: as the
queen[325] was passing my lady Boadilla’s house,[280] Alonso saw the
door all blackened with pictures of those indecencies that are painted
about inns in such variety; and turning to the Countess of
Castagneta,[326] he said: ‘There, my Lady, are the heads of the game
that my lady Boadilla slays in hunting every day.’ You see that while
the metaphor is clever and aptly borrowed from hunters (who take pride
in having many heads of beasts fastened on their doors), yet it is
scurrilous and disgraceful. Besides which, it was not an answer to
anything; for it is far less rude to say a thing by way of retort,
because then it seems to have been provoked and needs must be impromptu.
“Returning, however, to the subject of tricks played by women, I do not
say they do well to deceive their husbands, but I say that some of those
deceptions (which Giovanni Boccaccio recounts of women) are fine and
very clever, and especially those which you yourself told. But in my
opinion the trick played by Riciardo Minutoli goes too far, and is much
more heartless than the one played by Beatrice; because Riciardo
Minutoli did much greater wrong to Filippello’s wife than Beatrice did
to her husband Egano, for by his deception Riciardo forced the woman’s
will and made her do with herself something that she did not wish to do,
while Beatrice deceived her husband in order that she might do with
herself something that pleased her.”
94.—Then my lord Gaspar said:
“Beatrice can be excused on no other plea than that of love, which ought
to be allowed in the case of men as well as in that of women.”
Then messer Bernardo replied:
“No doubt the passion of love affords great excuse for every fault. But
for my part I think that a gentleman of worth, who is in love, ought to
be sincere and truthful in this as in all things else; and if it be true
that to betray even an enemy is such a vile act and abominable crime,
consider how much more heinous the offence ought to be deemed when it is
committed against one whom we love.
“Moreover, I think that every gentle lover endures so many toils, so
many vigils, braves so many perils, sheds so many tears, employs so many
means and ways to please the lady of his love,—not chiefly in order to
possess her person, but to capture the fortress of her mind, and to
shatter those hardest diamonds, to melt that coldest ice, that often are
in the tender breast of woman. This, I think, is the true and sound
pleasure and the purposed goal of every noble heart. For myself, were I
in love, I certainly should prefer to be assured that she whom I served
returned my love from her heart and had given me her mind,—without ever
having any other satisfaction from her,—than to enjoy her to the full
against her will; for in such case I should deem myself the master of a
lifeless body. Hence they who pursue their desires by means of such
trickery, which might perhaps be called treachery rather than trickery,
do injury to others; nor have they yet that bliss which is to be desired
in love, if they possess the body without the will.
“The same I say of certain others who use enchantments in their love,
charms and sometimes force, sometimes sleeping potions and such like
things. Be assured, too, that gifts much lessen the pleasures of love;
for a man may suspect that he is not loved and that his lady makes a
show of loving him in order to profit by it. Hence you see that great
ladies’ love is prized because it could hardly spring from other source
than real and true affection, nor is it credible that a great lady
should ever pretend to love one of her inferiors unless she loves him
truly.”
95.—Then my lord Gaspar replied:
“I do not deny that the purpose, toils and dangers of lovers ought to
have their aim directed chiefly towards the conquest of the mind rather
than of the body of their beloved. But I say that these deceits, which
you call treachery in men and trickery in women, are excellent means of
attaining this aim, for whoever possesses a woman’s person is master of
her mind as well. And if you remember rightly, Filippello’s wife, after
much lament over the deceit practised on her by Riciardo, discovered how
much more delicious than her husband’s were the kisses of her lover, and
her coldness to Riciardo changed to sweet affection, so that from that
day forth she loved him most tenderly. Thus it came about that what his
frequent fond visits, his gifts and countless other tokens shown
unceasingly, could not affect, a taste of his embraces soon
accomplished. You now see that this same trickery, or treachery as you
would call it, was a good way to capture the fortress of her mind.”
Then messer Bernardo said:
“You advance a very false premise, for if women always surrendered their
mind to the man who possessed their person, no wife would be found who
did not love her husband more than every other person in the world; the
contrary of which we find to be the case. But Giovanni Boccaccio was
very unjustly hostile to women, as you are also.”[327]
96.—My lord Gaspar replied:
“I am not at all hostile to them; but there are very few men of worth
who as a rule make any account of women whatever, although for their own
purposes they sometimes pretend the contrary.”
Then messer Bernardo replied:
“You wrong not women only, but also all men who hold them in respect.
However, as I said, I do not wish for the present to go outside my
original subject of practical joking, and enter upon so difficult an
enterprise as would be the defence of women against you, who are a most
redoubtable warrior. So I will make an end of this talk of mine, which
has perhaps been far longer than was necessary, and certainly less
amusing than you expected. And since I see the ladies sit so quiet,
enduring your insults thus patiently as they do, I shall henceforth
regard a part of what my lord Ottaviano said as true, namely, that they
care not what other evil is said of them, provided they be not taunted
with lack of chastity.”
Then at a signal from my lady Duchess, many of the ladies rose to their