The Brothers Karamazov
employing me, for another reason, but he means to make use of papers
I’ve signed to go to law against me. And so I kept quiet, and you have
seen our retreat. But now let me ask you: did Ilusha hurt your finger
much? I didn’t like to go into it in our mansion before him.”
“Yes, very much, and he was in a great fury. He was avenging you on me
as a Karamazov, I see that now. But if only you had seen how he was
throwing stones at his school-fellows! It’s very dangerous. They might
kill him. They are children and stupid. A stone may be thrown and break
somebody’s head.”
“That’s just what has happened. He has been bruised by a stone to-day.
Not on the head but on the chest, just above the heart. He came home
crying and groaning and now he is ill.”
“And you know he attacks them first. He is bitter against them on your
account. They say he stabbed a boy called Krassotkin with a pen-knife
not long ago.”
“I’ve heard about that too, it’s dangerous. Krassotkin is an official
here, we may hear more about it.”
“I would advise you,” Alyosha went on warmly, “not to send him to
school at all for a time till he is calmer ... and his anger is
passed.”
“Anger!” the captain repeated, “that’s just what it is. He is a little
creature, but it’s a mighty anger. You don’t know all, sir. Let me tell
you more. Since that incident all the boys have been teasing him about
the ‘wisp of tow.’ Schoolboys are a merciless race, individually they
are angels, but together, especially in schools, they are often
merciless. Their teasing has stirred up a gallant spirit in Ilusha. An
ordinary boy, a weak son, would have submitted, have felt ashamed of
his father, sir, but he stood up for his father against them all. For
his father and for truth and justice. For what he suffered when he
kissed your brother’s hand and cried to him ‘Forgive father, forgive
him,’—that only God knows—and I, his father. For our children—not your
children, but ours—the children of the poor gentlemen looked down upon
by every one—know what justice means, sir, even at nine years old. How
should the rich know? They don’t explore such depths once in their
lives. But at that moment in the square when he kissed his hand, at
that moment my Ilusha had grasped all that justice means. That truth
entered into him and crushed him for ever, sir,” the captain said hotly
again with a sort of frenzy, and he struck his right fist against his
left palm as though he wanted to show how “the truth” crushed Ilusha.
“That very day, sir, he fell ill with fever and was delirious all
night. All that day he hardly said a word to me, but I noticed he kept
watching me from the corner, though he turned to the window and
pretended to be learning his lessons. But I could see his mind was not
on his lessons. Next day I got drunk to forget my troubles, sinful man
as I am, and I don’t remember much. Mamma began crying, too—I am very
fond of mamma—well, I spent my last penny drowning my troubles. Don’t
despise me for that, sir, in Russia men who drink are the best. The
best men amongst us are the greatest drunkards. I lay down and I don’t
remember about Ilusha, though all that day the boys had been jeering at
him at school. ‘Wisp of tow,’ they shouted, ‘your father was pulled out
of the tavern by his wisp of tow, you ran by and begged forgiveness.’”
“On the third day when he came back from school, I saw he looked pale
and wretched. ‘What is it?’ I asked. He wouldn’t answer. Well, there’s
no talking in our mansion without mamma and the girls taking part in
it. What’s more, the girls had heard about it the very first day.
Varvara had begun snarling. ‘You fools and buffoons, can you ever do
anything rational?’ ‘Quite so,’ I said, ‘can we ever do anything
rational?’ For the time I turned it off like that. So in the evening I
took the boy out for a walk, for you must know we go for a walk every
evening, always the same way, along which we are going now—from our
gate to that great stone which lies alone in the road under the hurdle,
which marks the beginning of the town pasture. A beautiful and lonely
spot, sir. Ilusha and I walked along hand in hand as usual. He has a
little hand, his fingers are thin and cold—he suffers with his chest,
you know. ‘Father,’ said he, ‘father!’ ‘Well?’ said I. I saw his eyes
flashing. ‘Father, how he treated you then!’ ‘It can’t be helped,
Ilusha,’ I said. ‘Don’t forgive him, father, don’t forgive him! At
school they say that he has paid you ten roubles for it.’ ‘No, Ilusha,’
said I, ‘I would not take money from him for anything.’ Then he began
trembling all over, took my hand in both his and kissed it again.
‘Father,’ he said, ‘father, challenge him to a duel, at school they say
you are a coward and won’t challenge him, and that you’ll accept ten
roubles from him.’ ‘I can’t challenge him to a duel, Ilusha,’ I
answered. And I told briefly what I’ve just told you. He listened.
‘Father,’ he said, ‘anyway don’t forgive it. When I grow up I’ll call
him out myself and kill him.’ His eyes shone and glowed. And of course
I am his father, and I had to put in a word: ‘It’s a sin to kill,’ I
said, ‘even in a duel.’ ‘Father,’ he said, ‘when I grow up, I’ll knock
him down, knock the sword out of his hand, I’ll fall on him, wave my
sword over him and say: “I could kill you, but I forgive you, so
there!”’ You see what the workings of his little mind have been during
these two days; he must have been planning that vengeance all day, and
raving about it at night.
“But he began to come home from school badly beaten, I found out about
it the day before yesterday, and you are right, I won’t send him to
that school any more. I heard that he was standing up against all the
class alone and defying them all, that his heart was full of
resentment, of bitterness—I was alarmed about him. We went for another
walk. ‘Father,’ he asked, ‘are the rich people stronger than any one
else on earth?’ ‘Yes, Ilusha,’ I said, ‘there are no people on earth
stronger than the rich.’ ‘Father,’ he said, ‘I will get rich, I will
become an officer and conquer everybody. The Tsar will reward me, I
will come back here and then no one will dare—’ Then he was silent and
his lips still kept trembling. ‘Father,’ he said, ‘what a horrid town
this is.’ ‘Yes, Ilusha,’ I said, ‘it isn’t a very nice town.’ ‘Father,
let us move into another town, a nice one,’ he said, ‘where people
don’t know about us.’ ‘We will move, we will, Ilusha,’ said I, ‘only I
must save up for it.’ I was glad to be able to turn his mind from
painful thoughts, and we began to dream of how we would move to another
town, how we would buy a horse and cart. ‘We will put mamma and your
sisters inside, we will cover them up and we’ll walk, you shall have a
lift now and then, and I’ll walk beside, for we must take care of our
horse, we can’t all ride. That’s how we’ll go.’ He was enchanted at
that, most of all at the thought of having a horse and driving him. For
of course a Russian boy is born among horses. We chattered a long
while. Thank God, I thought, I have diverted his mind and comforted
him.
“That was the day before yesterday, in the evening, but last night
everything was changed. He had gone to school in the morning, he came
back depressed, terribly depressed. In the evening I took him by the
hand and we went for a walk; he would not talk. There was a wind
blowing and no sun, and a feeling of autumn; twilight was coming on. We
walked along, both of us depressed. ‘Well, my boy,’ said I, ‘how about
our setting off on our travels?’ I thought I might bring him back to
our talk of the day before. He didn’t answer, but I felt his fingers
trembling in my hand. Ah, I thought, it’s a bad job; there’s something
fresh. We had reached the stone where we are now. I sat down on the
stone. And in the air there were lots of kites flapping and whirling.
There were as many as thirty in sight. Of course, it’s just the season
for the kites. ‘Look, Ilusha,’ said I, ‘it’s time we got out our last
year’s kite again. I’ll mend it, where have you put it away?’ My boy
made no answer. He looked away and turned sideways to me. And then a
gust of wind blew up the sand. He suddenly fell on me, threw both his
little arms round my neck and held me tight. You know, when children
are silent and proud, and try to keep back their tears when they are in
great trouble and suddenly break down, their tears fall in streams.
With those warm streams of tears, he suddenly wetted my face. He sobbed
and shook as though he were in convulsions, and squeezed up against me
as I sat on the stone. ‘Father,’ he kept crying, ‘dear father, how he
insulted you!’ And I sobbed too. We sat shaking in each other’s arms.
‘Ilusha,’ I said to him, ‘Ilusha darling.’ No one saw us then. God
alone saw us, I hope He will record it to my credit. You must thank
your brother, Alexey Fyodorovitch. No, sir, I won’t thrash my boy for
your satisfaction.”
He had gone back to his original tone of resentful buffoonery. Alyosha
felt though that he trusted him, and that if there had been some one
else in his, Alyosha’s place, the man would not have spoken so openly
and would not have told what he had just told. This encouraged Alyosha,
whose heart was trembling on the verge of tears.
“Ah, how I would like to make friends with your boy!” he cried. “If you
could arrange it—”
“Certainly, sir,” muttered the captain.
“But now listen to something quite different!” Alyosha went on. “I have
a message for you. That same brother of mine, Dmitri, has insulted his
betrothed, too, a noble-hearted girl of whom you have probably heard. I
have a right to tell you of her wrong; I ought to do so, in fact, for
hearing of the insult done to you and learning all about your
unfortunate position, she commissioned me at once—just now—to bring you
this help from her—but only from her alone, not from Dmitri, who has
abandoned her. Nor from me, his brother, nor from any one else, but
from her, only from her! She entreats you to accept her help.... You
have both been insulted by the same man. She thought of you only when
she had just received a similar insult from him—similar in its cruelty,
I mean. She comes like a sister to help a brother in misfortune.... She
told me to persuade you to take these two hundred roubles from her, as
from a sister, knowing that you are in such need. No one will know of
it, it can give rise to no unjust slander. There are the two hundred
roubles, and I swear you must take them unless—unless all men are to be
enemies on earth! But there are brothers even on earth.... You have a
generous heart ... you must see that, you must,” and Alyosha held out
two new rainbow-colored hundred-rouble notes.
They were both standing at the time by the great stone close to the
fence, and there was no one near. The notes seemed to produce a
tremendous impression on the captain. He started, but at first only
from astonishment. Such an outcome of their conversation was the last
thing he expected. Nothing could have been farther from his dreams than
help from any one—and such a sum!
He took the notes, and for a minute he was almost unable to answer,
quite a new expression came into his face.
“That for me? So much money—two hundred roubles! Good heavens! Why, I
haven’t seen so much money for the last four years! Mercy on us! And
she says she is a sister.... And is that the truth?”
“I swear that all I told you is the truth,” cried Alyosha.
The captain flushed red.
“Listen, my dear, listen. If I take it, I shan’t be behaving like a
scoundrel? In your eyes, Alexey Fyodorovitch, I shan’t be a scoundrel?
No, Alexey Fyodorovitch, listen, listen,” he hurried, touching Alyosha
with both his hands. “You are persuading me to take it, saying that
it’s a sister sends it, but inwardly, in your heart won’t you feel