The Canterbury Tales, and Other Poems
And all so soon as that he was y-gone,
The one of them spake thus unto the other;
“Thou knowest well that thou art my sworn brother,
*Thy profit* will I tell thee right anon. *what is for thine
Thou knowest well that our fellow is gone, advantage*
And here is gold, and that full great plenty,
That shall departed* he among us three. *divided
But natheless, if I could shape* it so *contrive
That it departed were among us two,
Had I not done a friende’s turn to thee?”
Th’ other answer’d, “I n’ot* how that may be; *know not
He knows well that the gold is with us tway.
What shall we do? what shall we to him say?”
“Shall it be counsel?”* said the firste shrew;** *secret **wretch
“And I shall tell to thee in wordes few
What we shall do, and bring it well about.”
“I grante,” quoth the other, “out of doubt,
That by my truth I will thee not bewray.”* *betray
“Now,” quoth the first, “thou know’st well we be tway,
And two of us shall stronger be than one.
Look; when that he is set,* thou right anon *sat down
Arise, as though thou wouldest with him play;
And I shall rive* him through the sides tway, *stab
While that thou strugglest with him as in game;
And with thy dagger look thou do the same.
And then shall all this gold departed* be, *divided
My deare friend, betwixte thee and me:
Then may we both our lustes* all fulfil, *pleasures
And play at dice right at our owen will.”
And thus accorded* be these shrewes** tway *agreed **wretches
To slay the third, as ye have heard me say.
The youngest, which that wente to the town,
Full oft in heart he rolled up and down
The beauty of these florins new and bright.
“O Lord!” quoth he, “if so were that I might
Have all this treasure to myself alone,
There is no man that lives under the throne
Of God, that shoulde have so merry as I.”
And at the last the fiend our enemy
Put in his thought, that he should poison buy,
With which he mighte slay his fellows twy.* *two
For why, the fiend found him *in such living,* *leading such a
That he had leave to sorrow him to bring. (bad) life*
For this was utterly his full intent
To slay them both, and never to repent.
And forth he went, no longer would he tarry,
Into the town to an apothecary,
And prayed him that he him woulde sell
Some poison, that he might *his rattes quell,* *kill his rats*
And eke there was a polecat in his haw,* *farm-yard, hedge <27>
That, as he said, his eapons had y-slaw:* *slain
And fain he would him wreak,* if that he might, *revenge
Of vermin that destroyed him by night.
Th’apothecary answer’d, “Thou shalt have
A thing, as wisly* God my soule save, *surely
In all this world there is no creature
That eat or drank hath of this confecture,
Not but the mountance* of a corn of wheat, *amount
That he shall not his life *anon forlete;* *immediately lay down*
Yea, sterve* he shall, and that in lesse while *die
Than thou wilt go *apace* nought but a mile: *quickly*
This poison is so strong and violent.”
This cursed man hath in his hand y-hent* *taken
This poison in a box, and swift he ran
Into the nexte street, unto a man,
And borrow’d of him large bottles three;
And in the two the poison poured he;
The third he kepte clean for his own drink,
For all the night he shope him* for to swink** *purposed **labour
In carrying off the gold out of that place.
And when this riotour, with sorry grace,
Had fill’d with wine his greate bottles three,
To his fellows again repaired he.
What needeth it thereof to sermon* more? *talk, discourse
For, right as they had cast* his death before, *plotted
Right so they have him slain, and that anon.
And when that this was done, thus spake the one;
“Now let us sit and drink, and make us merry,
And afterward we will his body bury.”
And with that word it happen’d him *par cas* *by chance
To take the bottle where the poison was,
And drank, and gave his fellow drink also,
For which anon they sterved* both the two. *died
But certes I suppose that Avicen
Wrote never in no canon, nor no fen, <28>
More wondrous signes of empoisoning,
Than had these wretches two ere their ending.
Thus ended be these homicides two,
And eke the false empoisoner also.
O cursed sin, full of all cursedness!
O trait’rous homicide! O wickedness!
O glutt’ny, luxury, and hazardry!
Thou blasphemer of Christ with villany,* *outrage, impiety
And oathes great, of usage and of pride!
Alas! mankinde, how may it betide,
That to thy Creator, which that thee wrought,
And with his precious hearte-blood thee bought,
Thou art so false and so unkind,* alas! *unnatural
Now, good men, God forgive you your trespass,
And ware* you from the sin of avarice. *keep
Mine holy pardon may you all warice,* *heal
So that ye offer *nobles or sterlings,* *gold or silver coins*
Or elles silver brooches, spoons, or rings.
Bowe your head under this holy bull.
Come up, ye wives, and offer of your will;
Your names I enter in my roll anon;
Into the bliss of heaven shall ye gon;
I you assoil* by mine high powere, *absolve <29>
You that will offer, as clean and eke as clear
As ye were born. Lo, Sires, thus I preach;
And Jesus Christ, that is our soules’ leech,* *healer
So grante you his pardon to receive;
For that is best, I will not deceive.
But, Sirs, one word forgot I in my tale;
I have relics and pardon in my mail,
As fair as any man in Engleland,
Which were me given by the Pope’s hand.
If any of you will of devotion
Offer, and have mine absolution,
Come forth anon, and kneele here adown
And meekely receive my pardoun.
Or elles take pardon, as ye wend,* *go
All new and fresh at every towne’s end,
So that ye offer, always new and new,
Nobles or pence which that be good and true.
’Tis an honour to evereach* that is here, *each one
That ye have a suffisant* pardonere *suitable
T’assoile* you in country as ye ride, *absolve
For aventures which that may betide.
Paraventure there may fall one or two
Down of his horse, and break his neck in two.
Look, what a surety is it to you all,
That I am in your fellowship y-fall,
That may assoil* you bothe *more and lass,* *absolve
When that the soul shall from the body pass. *great and small*
I rede* that our Hoste shall begin, *advise
For he is most enveloped in sin.
Come forth, Sir Host, and offer first anon,
And thou shalt kiss; the relics every one,
Yea, for a groat; unbuckle anon thy purse.
“Nay, nay,” quoth he, “then have I Christe’s curse!
Let be,” quoth he, “it shall not be, *so the’ch.* *so may I thrive*
Thou wouldest make me kiss thine olde breech,
And swear it were a relic of a saint,
Though it were with thy *fundament depaint’.* *stained by your bottom*
But, by the cross which that Saint Helen fand,* *found <30>
I would I had thy coilons* in mine hand, *testicles
Instead of relics, or of sanctuary.
Let cut them off, I will thee help them carry;
They shall be shrined in a hogge’s turd.”
The Pardoner answered not one word;
So wroth he was, no worde would he say.
“Now,” quoth our Host, “I will no longer play
With thee, nor with none other angry man.”
But right anon the worthy Knight began
(When that he saw that all the people lough*), *laughed
“No more of this, for it is right enough.
Sir Pardoner, be merry and glad of cheer;
And ye, Sir Host, that be to me so dear,
I pray you that ye kiss the Pardoner;
And, Pardoner, I pray thee draw thee ner,* *nearer
And as we didde, let us laugh and play.”
Anon they kiss’d, and rode forth their way.
Notes to the Pardoner’s Tale
1. The outline of this Tale is to be found in the “Cento Novelle
Antiche,” but the original is now lost. As in the case of the Wife
of Bath’s Tale, there is a long prologue, but in this case it has
been treated as part of the Tale.
2. Hautein: loud, lofty; from French, “hautain.”
3. Radix malorum est cupiditas: “the love of money is the root
of all evil” (1 Tim.vi. 10)
4.All had she taken priestes two or three: even if she had
committed adultery with two or three priests.
5. Blackburied: The meaning of this is not very clear, but it is
probably a periphrastic and picturesque way of indicating
damnation.
6. Grisly: dreadful; fitted to “agrise” or horrify the listener.
7. Mr Wright says: “The common oaths in the Middle Ages
were by the different parts of God’s body; and the popular
preachers represented that profane swearers tore Christ’s body
by their imprecations.” The idea was doubtless borrowed from
the passage in Hebrews (vi. 6), where apostates are said to
“crucify to themselves the Son of God afresh, and put Him to
an open shame.”
8. Tombesteres: female dancers or tumblers; from Anglo-
Saxon, “tumban,” to dance.
9. “Be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess.” Eph. v.18.
10. The reference is probably to the diligent inquiries Herod
made at the time of Christ’s birth. See Matt. ii. 4-8
11. A drunkard. “Perhaps,” says Tyrwhitt, “Chaucer refers to
Epist. LXXXIII., ‘Extende in plures dies illum ebrii habitum;
nunquid de furore dubitabis? nunc quoque non est minor sed
brevior.’” (“Prolong the drunkard’s condition to several days;
will you doubt his madness? Even as it is, the madness is no
less; merely shorter.”)
12. Defended: forbidden; French, “defendu.” St Jerome, in his
book against Jovinian, says that so long as Adam fasted, he was
in Paradise; he ate, and he was thrust out.
13. “Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats; but God shall
destroy both it and them.” 1 Cor. vi. 13.
14. “For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now
tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of
Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and
whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.” Phil.
iii. 18, 19.
15. Cod: bag; Anglo-Saxon, “codde;” hence peas-cod, pin-cod
(pin-cushion), &c.
16. Compare with the lines which follow, the picture of the
drunken messenger in the Man of Law’s Tale.
17. Lepe: A town near Cadiz, whence a stronger wine than the
Gascon vintages afforded was imported to England. French
wine was often adulterated with the cheaper and stronger
Spanish.
18. Another reading is “Fleet Street.”
19. Attila was suffocated in the night by a haemorrhage,
brought on by a debauch, when he was preparing a new
invasion of Italy, in 453.
20. “It is not for kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink
wine, nor for princes strong drink; lest they drink, and forget
the law, and pervert the judgment of any of the afflicted.” Prov.
xxxi. 4, 5.
21. Most manuscripts, evidently in error, have “Stilbon” and
“Calidone” for Chilon and Lacedaemon. Chilon was one of the
seven sages of Greece, and flourished about B.C. 590.
According to Diogenes Laertius, he died, under the pressure of
age and joy, in the arms of his son, who had just been crowned
victor at the Olympic games.
22. “Swear not at all;” Christ’s words in Matt. v. 34.
23. “And thou shalt swear, the lord liveth in truth, in judgement,