The Confessions of St. Augustine
be spoken of than as being borne. But wherefore was it not meet that
the knowledge of Him should be conveyed otherwise, than as being borne
above?
Hence let him that is able, follow with his understanding Thy Apostle,
where he thus speaks, Because Thy love is shed abroad in our hearts by
the Holy Ghost which is given unto us: and where concerning spiritual
gifts, he teacheth and showeth unto us a more excellent way of charity;
and where he bows his knee unto Thee for us, that we may know the
supereminent knowledge of the love of Christ. And therefore from the
beginning, was He borne supereminent above the waters. To whom shall I
speak this? how speak of the weight of evil desires, downwards to the
steep abyss; and how charity raises up again by Thy Spirit which was
borne above the waters? to whom shall I speak it? how speak it? For it
is not in space that we are merged and emerge. What can be more, and yet
what less like? They be affections, they be loves; the uncleanness
of our spirit flowing away downwards with the love of cares, and the
holiness of Thine raising us upward by love of unanxious repose; that
we may lift our hearts unto Thee, where Thy Spirit is borne above the
waters; and come to that supereminent repose, when our soul shall have
passed through the waters which yield no support.
Angels fell away, man's soul fell away, and thereby pointed the abyss in
that dark depth, ready for the whole spiritual creation, hadst not Thou
said from the beginning, Let there be light, and there had been light,
and every obedient intelligence of Thy heavenly City had cleaved to
Thee, and rested in Thy Spirit, Which is borne unchangeably over every
thing changeable. Otherwise, had even the heaven of heavens been in
itself a darksome deep; but now it is light in the Lord. For even in
that miserable restlessness of the spirits, who fell away and discovered
their own darkness, when bared of the clothing of Thy light, dost Thou
sufficiently reveal how noble Thou madest the reasonable creature; to
which nothing will suffice to yield a happy rest, less than Thee; and so
not even herself. For Thou, O our God, shalt lighten our darkness: from
Thee riseth our garment of light; and then shall our darkness be as
the noon day. Give Thyself unto me, O my God, restore Thyself unto me:
behold I love, and if it be too little, I would love more strongly. I
cannot measure so as to know, how much love there yet lacketh to me, ere
my life may run into Thy embracements, nor turn away, until it be hidden
in the hidden place of Thy Presence. This only I know, that woe is
me except in Thee: not only without but within myself also; and all
abundance, which is not my God, is emptiness to me.
But was not either the Father, or the Son, borne above the waters? if
this means, in space, like a body, then neither was the Holy Spirit;
but if the unchangeable supereminence of Divinity above all things
changeable, then were both Father, and Son, and Holy Ghost borne upon
the waters. Why then is this said of Thy Spirit only, why is it said
only of Him? As if He had been in place, Who is not in place, of Whom
only it is written, that He is Thy gift? In Thy Gift we rest; there we
enjoy Thee. Our rest is our place. Love lifts us up thither, and Thy
good Spirit lifts up our lowliness from the gates of death. In Thy good
pleasure is our peace. The body by its own weight strives towards its
own place. Weight makes not downward only, but to his own place. Fire
tends upward, a stone downward. They are urged by their own weight,
they seek their own places. Oil poured below water, is raised above the
water; water poured upon oil, sinks below the oil. They are urged by
their own weights to seek their own places. When out of their order,
they are restless; restored to order, they are at rest. My weight, is my
love; thereby am I borne, whithersoever I am borne. We are inflamed, by
Thy Gift we are kindled; and are carried upwards; we glow inwardly, and
go forwards. We ascend Thy ways that be in our heart, and sing a song of
degrees; we glow inwardly with Thy fire, with Thy good fire, and we go;
because we go upwards to the peace of Jerusalem: for gladdened was I in
those who said unto me, We will go up to the house of the Lord. There
hath Thy good pleasure placed us, that we may desire nothing else, but
to abide there for ever.
Blessed creature, which being itself other than Thou, has known no
other condition, than that, so soon as it was made, it was, without
any interval, by Thy Gift, Which is borne above every thing changeable,
borne aloft by that calling whereby Thou saidst, Let there be light, and
there was light. Whereas in us this took place at different times, in
that we were darkness, and are made light: but of that is only said,
what it would have been, had it not been enlightened. And, this is so
spoken, as if it had been unsettled and darksome before; that so the
cause whereby it was made otherwise, might appear, namely, that being
turned to the Light unfailing it became light. Whoso can, let him
understand this; let him ask of Thee. Why should he trouble me, as if I
could enlighten any man that cometh into this world?
Which of us comprehendeth the Almighty Trinity? and yet which speaks not
of It, if indeed it be It? Rare is the soul, which while it speaks of
It, knows what it speaks of. And they contend and strive, yet, without
peace, no man sees that vision. I would that men would consider these
three, that are in themselves. These three be indeed far other than the
Trinity: I do but tell, where they may practise themselves, and there
prove and feel how far they be. Now the three I spake of are, To Be,
to Know, and to Will. For I Am, and Know, and Will: I Am Knowing and
Willing: and I Know myself to Be, and to Will: and I Will to Be, and to
Know. In these three then, let him discern that can, how inseparable
a life there is, yea one life, mind, and one essence, yea lastly how
inseparable a distinction there is, and yet a distinction. Surely a man
hath it before him; let him look into himself, and see, and tell me. But
when he discovers and can say any thing of these, let him not therefore
think that he has found that which is above these Unchangeable, which
Is unchangeably, and Knows unchangeably, and Wills unchangeably; and
whether because of these three, there is in God also a Trinity, or
whether all three be in Each, so that the three belong to Each; or
whether both ways at once, wondrously, simply and yet manifoldly, Itself
a bound unto Itself within Itself, yet unbounded; whereby It is, and is
Known unto Itself and sufficeth to itself, unchangeably the Self-same,
by the abundant greatness of its Unity,--who can readily conceive this?
who could any ways express it? who would, any way, pronounce thereon
rashly?
Proceed in thy confession, say to the Lord thy God, O my faith, Holy,
Holy, Holy, O Lord my God, in Thy Name have we been baptised, Father,
Son, and Holy Ghost; in Thy Name do we baptise, Father, Son, and Holy
Ghost, because among us also, in His Christ did God make heaven and
earth, namely, the spiritual and carnal people of His Church. Yea and
our earth, before it received the form of doctrine, was invisible and
without form; and we were covered with the darkness of ignorance. For
Thou chastenedst man for iniquity, and Thy judgments were like the great
deep unto him. But because Thy Spirit was borne above the waters, Thy
mercy forsook not our misery, and Thou saidst, Let there be light,
Repent ye, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Repent ye, let there be
light. And because our soul was troubled within us, we remembered Thee,
O Lord, from the land of Jordan, and that mountain equal unto Thyself,
but little for our sakes: and our darkness displeased us, we turned unto
Thee and there was light. And, behold, we were sometimes darkness, but
now light in the Lord.
But as yet by faith and not by sight, for by hope we are saved; but hope
that is seen, is not hope. As yet doth deep call unto deep, but now in
the voice of Thy water-spouts. As yet doth he that saith, I could not
speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even he as yet,
doth not think himself to have apprehended, and forgetteth those things
which are behind, and reacheth forth to those which are before, and
groaneth being burthened, and his soul thirsteth after the Living
God, as the hart after the water-brooks, and saith, When shall I come?
desiring to be clothed upon with his house which is from heaven, and
calleth upon this lower deep, saying, Be not conformed to this world,
but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind. And, be not children
in understanding, but in malice, be ye children, that in understanding
ye may be perfect; and O foolish Galatians, who hath bewitched you? But
now no longer in his own voice; but in Thine who sentest Thy Spirit from
above; through Him who ascended up on high, and set open the flood-gates
of His gifts, that the force of His streams might make glad the city of
God. Him doth this friend of the Bridegroom sigh after, having now the
first-fruits of the Spirit laid up with Him, yet still groaning within
himself, waiting for the adoption, to wit, the redemption of his body;
to Him he sighs, a member of the Bride; for Him he is jealous, as being
a friend of the Bridegroom; for Him he is jealous, not for himself;
because in the voice of Thy water-spouts, not in his own voice, doth he
call to that other depth, over whom being jealous he feareth, lest as
the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtilty, so their minds should be
corrupted from the purity that is in our Bridegroom Thy only Son. O
what a light of beauty will that be, when we shall see Him as He is,
and those tears be passed away, which have been my meat day and night,
whilst they daily say unto me, Where is now Thy God?
Behold, I too say, O my God, Where art Thou? see, where Thou art! in
Thee I breathe a little, when I pour out my soul by myself in the voice
of joy and praise, the sound of him that keeps holy-day. And yet again
it is sad, because it relapseth, and becomes a deep, or rather perceives
itself still to be a deep. Unto it speaks my faith which Thou hast
kindled to enlighten my feet in the night, Why art thou sad, O my soul,
and why dost thou trouble me? Hope in the Lord; His word is a lanthorn
unto thy feet: hope and endure, until the night, the mother of the
wicked, until the wrath of the Lord, be overpast, whereof we also were
once children, who were sometimes darkness, relics whereof we bear
about us in our body, dead because of sin; until the day break, and the
shadows fly away. Hope thou in the Lord; in the morning I shall stand in
Thy presence, and contemplate Thee: I shall for ever confess unto Thee.
In the morning I shall stand in Thy presence, and shall see the health
of my countenance, my God, who also shall quicken our mortal bodies, by
the Spirit that dwelleth in us, because He hath in mercy been borne
over our inner darksome and floating deep: from Whom we have in this
pilgrimage received an earnest, that we should now be light: whilst we
are saved by hope, and are the children of light, and the children of
the day, not the children of the night, nor of the darkness, which yet
sometimes we were. Betwixt whom and us, in this uncertainty of human
knowledge, Thou only dividest; Thou, who provest our hearts, and callest
the light, day, and the darkness, night. For who discerneth us, but
Thou? And what have we, that we have not received of Thee? out of the
same lump vessels are made unto honour, whereof others also are made
unto dishonour.
Or who, except Thou, our God, made for us that firmament of authority
over us in Thy Divine Scripture? as it is said, For heaven shall be