The Confessions of St. Augustine
behold, are far more certain: these things the beasts and birds discern
as well as we, and they are more certain than when we fancy them. And
again, we do with more certainty fancy them, than by them conjecture
other vaster and infinite bodies which have no being. Such empty husks
was I then fed on; and was not fed. But Thou, my soul's Love, in looking
for whom I fail, that I may become strong, art neither those bodies
which we see, though in heaven; nor those which we see not there; for
Thou hast created them, nor dost Thou account them among the chiefest of
Thy works. How far then art Thou from those fantasies of mine, fantasies
of bodies which altogether are not, than which the images of those
bodies, which are, are far more certain, and more certain still the
bodies themselves, which yet Thou art not; no, nor yet the soul, which
is the life of the bodies. So then, better and more certain is the life
of the bodies than the bodies. But Thou art the life of souls, the life
of lives, having life in Thyself; and changest not, life of my soul.
Where then wert Thou then to me, and how far from me? Far verily was I
straying from Thee, barred from the very husks of the swine, whom with
husks I fed. For how much better are the fables of poets and grammarians
than these snares? For verses, and poems, and "Medea flying," are more
profitable truly than these men's five elements, variously disguised,
answering to five dens of darkness, which have no being, yet slay the
believer. For verses and poems I can turn to true food, and "Medea
flying," though I did sing, I maintained not; though I heard it sung,
I believed not: but those things I did believe. Woe, woe, by what steps
was I brought down to the depths of hell! toiling and turmoiling through
want of Truth, since I sought after Thee, my God (to Thee I confess
it, who hadst mercy on me, not as yet confessing), not according to the
understanding of the mind, wherein Thou willedst that I should excel
the beasts, but according to the sense of the flesh. But Thou wert more
inward to me than my most inward part; and higher than my highest. I
lighted upon that bold woman, simple and knoweth nothing, shadowed out
in Solomon, sitting at the door, and saying, Eat ye bread of secrecies
willingly, and drink ye stolen waters which are sweet: she seduced me,
because she found my soul dwelling abroad in the eye of my flesh, and
ruminating on such food as through it I had devoured.
For other than this, that which really is I knew not; and was, as it
were through sharpness of wit, persuaded to assent to foolish deceivers,
when they asked me, "whence is evil?" "is God bounded by a bodily shape,
and has hairs and nails?" "are they to be esteemed righteous who had
many wives at once, and did kill men, and sacrifice living creatures?"
At which I, in my ignorance, was much troubled, and departing from the
truth, seemed to myself to be making towards it; because as yet I knew
not that evil was nothing but a privation of good, until at last a thing
ceases altogether to be; which how should I see, the sight of whose eyes
reached only to bodies, and of my mind to a phantasm? And I knew not God
to be a Spirit, not one who hath parts extended in length and breadth,
or whose being was bulk; for every bulk is less in a part than in the
whole: and if it be infinite, it must be less in such part as is defined
by a certain space, than in its infinitude; and so is not wholly every
where, as Spirit, as God. And what that should be in us, by which we
were like to God, and might be rightly said to be after the image of
God, I was altogether ignorant.
Nor knew I that true inward righteousness which judgeth not according
to custom, but out of the most rightful law of God Almighty, whereby
the ways of places and times were disposed according to those times and
places; itself meantime being the same always and every where, not one
thing in one place, and another in another; according to which Abraham,
and Isaac, and Jacob, and Moses, and David, were righteous, and all
those commended by the mouth of God; but were judged unrighteous by
silly men, judging out of man's judgment, and measuring by their own
petty habits, the moral habits of the whole human race. As if in an
armory, one ignorant what were adapted to each part should cover his
head with greaves, or seek to be shod with a helmet, and complain that
they fitted not: or as if on a day when business is publicly stopped in
the afternoon, one were angered at not being allowed to keep open shop,
because he had been in the forenoon; or when in one house he observeth
some servant take a thing in his hand, which the butler is not suffered
to meddle with; or something permitted out of doors, which is forbidden
in the dining-room; and should be angry, that in one house, and one
family, the same thing is not allotted every where, and to all. Even
such are they who are fretted to hear something to have been lawful
for righteous men formerly, which now is not; or that God, for certain
temporal respects, commanded them one thing, and these another, obeying
both the same righteousness: whereas they see, in one man, and one day,
and one house, different things to be fit for different members, and
a thing formerly lawful, after a certain time not so; in one corner
permitted or commanded, but in another rightly forbidden and punished.
Is justice therefore various or mutable? No, but the times, over which
it presides, flow not evenly, because they are times. But men whose days
are few upon the earth, for that by their senses they cannot harmonise
the causes of things in former ages and other nations, which they had
not experience of, with these which they have experience of, whereas in
one and the same body, day, or family, they easily see what is fitting
for each member, and season, part, and person; to the one they take
exceptions, to the other they submit.
These things I then knew not, nor observed; they struck my sight on all
sides, and I saw them not. I indited verses, in which I might not place
every foot every where, but differently in different metres; nor even in
any one metre the self-same foot in all places. Yet the art itself, by
which I indited, had not different principles for these different cases,
but comprised all in one. Still I saw not how that righteousness, which
good and holy men obeyed, did far more excellently and sublimely contain
in one all those things which God commanded, and in no part varied;
although in varying times it prescribed not every thing at once, but
apportioned and enjoined what was fit for each. And I in my blindness,
censured the holy Fathers, not only wherein they made use of things
present as God commanded and inspired them, but also wherein they were
foretelling things to come, as God was revealing in them.
Can it at any time or place be unjust to love God with all his heart,
with all his soul, and with all his mind; and his neighbour as himself?
Therefore are those foul offences which be against nature, to be every
where and at all times detested and punished; such as were those of the
men of Sodom: which should all nations commit, they should all stand
guilty of the same crime, by the law of God, which hath not so made men
that they should so abuse one another. For even that intercourse which
should be between God and us is violated, when that same nature, of
which He is Author, is polluted by perversity of lust. But those
actions which are offences against the customs of men, are to be avoided
according to the customs severally prevailing; so that a thing agreed
upon, and confirmed, by custom or law of any city or nation, may not be
violated at the lawless pleasure of any, whether native or foreigner.
For any part which harmoniseth not with its whole, is offensive. But
when God commands a thing to be done, against the customs or compact of
any people, though it were never by them done heretofore, it is to be
done; and if intermitted, it is to be restored; and if never ordained,
is now to be ordained. For lawful if it be for a king, in the state
which he reigns over, to command that which no one before him, nor he
himself heretofore, had commanded, and to obey him cannot be against the
common weal of the state (nay, it were against it if he were not obeyed,
for to obey princes is a general compact of human society); how much
more unhesitatingly ought we to obey God, in all which He commands, the
Ruler of all His creatures! For as among the powers in man's society,
the greater authority is obeyed in preference to the lesser, so must God
above all.
So in acts of violence, where there is a wish to hurt, whether by
reproach or injury; and these either for revenge, as one enemy against
another; or for some profit belonging to another, as the robber to
the traveller; or to avoid some evil, as towards one who is feared; or
through envy, as one less fortunate to one more so, or one well thriven
in any thing, to him whose being on a par with himself he fears, or
grieves at, or for the mere pleasure at another's pain, as spectators
of gladiators, or deriders and mockers of others. These be the heads
of iniquity which spring from the lust of the flesh, of the eye, or of
rule, either singly, or two combined, or all together; and so do men
live ill against the three, and seven, that psaltery of ten strings,
Thy Ten Commandments, O God, most high, and most sweet. But what foul
offences can there be against Thee, who canst not be defiled? or
what acts of violence against Thee, who canst not be harmed? But Thou
avengest what men commit against themselves, seeing also when they sin
against Thee, they do wickedly against their own souls, and iniquity
gives itself the lie, by corrupting and perverting their nature, which
Thou hast created and ordained, or by an immoderate use of things
allowed, or in burning in things unallowed, to that use which is against
nature; or are found guilty, raging with heart and tongue against Thee,
kicking against the pricks; or when, bursting the pale of human society,
they boldly joy in self-willed combinations or divisions, according as
they have any object to gain or subject of offence. And these things are
done when Thou art forsaken, O Fountain of Life, who art the only and
true Creator and Governor of the Universe, and by a self-willed pride,
any one false thing is selected therefrom and loved. So then by a
humble devoutness we return to Thee; and Thou cleansest us from our
evil habits, and art merciful to their sins who confess, and hearest the
groaning of the prisoner, and loosest us from the chains which we made
for ourselves, if we lift not up against Thee the horns of an unreal
liberty, suffering the loss of all, through covetousness of more, by
loving more our own private good than Thee, the Good of all.
Amidst these offences of foulness and violence, and so many iniquities,
are sins of men, who are on the whole making proficiency; which by those
that judge rightly, are, after the rule of perfection, discommended, yet
the persons commended, upon hope of future fruit, as in the green blade
of growing corn. And there are some, resembling offences of foulness or
violence, which yet are no sins; because they offend neither Thee, our
Lord God, nor human society; when, namely, things fitting for a given
period are obtained for the service of life, and we know not whether out
of a lust of having; or when things are, for the sake of correction, by
constituted authority punished, and we know not whether out of a lust of
hurting. Many an action then which in men's sight is disapproved, is
by Thy testimony approved; and many, by men praised, are (Thou being
witness) condemned: because the show of the action, and the mind of the