The Countess of Pembroke's Arcadia
nothing unsaid which my wit could make me know, or my most entire
friendship to you requires of me. I do not beseech you, even for the
love betwixt us, if this other love hath left any in you towards me,
and for the remembrance of your old careful father (if you can
remember him that forgot yourself) lastly, for Pyrocles’ own sake, who
is now upon the point of falling or rising, to purge yourself of this
vile infection: otherwise give me leave to leave off this name of
friendship as an idle title of a thing which cannot be where virtue is
not established.”
The length of these speeches before had not so much cloyed Pyrocles,
though he were very impatient of long deliberations, as this last
farewell of him he loved as his own life did wound his soul. For
thinking himself afflicted, he was the apter to conceive unkindness
deeply, insomuch that shaking his head, and delivering some show of
tears, he thus uttered his grief: “Alas!” said he, “Prince Musidorus,
how cruelly you deal with me; if you seek the victory, take it; and,
if ye list, the triumph. Have you all the reason of the world, and
with me remain all the imperfections; yet such as I can no more lay
from me, than the crow can be persuaded by the swan to cast off all
his black feathers. But truly you deal with me like a physician who,
seeing his patient in a pestilent fever, should chide him instead of
ministering help, and bid him be sick no more; or rather like such a
friend, that visiting his friend condemned to perpetual prison, and
laden with grievous fetters, should will him to shake off his fetters,
or he would leave him. I am sick, and sick to the death; I am
prisoner, neither is there any redress but by her to whom I am a
slave. Now, if you list, leave him that loves you in the highest
degree: but remember ever to carry this with you, that you abandon
your friend in his greatest extremity.”
And herewith the deep wound of his love being rubbed afresh with this
new unkindness, began, as it were, to bleed again in such sort that he
was unable to bear it any longer, but gushing out abundance of tears,
and crossing his arms over his woeful heart, he sunk down to the
ground, which sudden trance went so to the heart of Musidorus, that
falling down by him, and kissing the weeping eyes of his friend, he
besought him not to make account of his speech, which if it had been
over-vehement, yet was it to be borne withal, because it came out of a
love much more vehement, that he had not thought fancy could have
received so deep a wound; but now finding in him the force of it, he
would {64} no further contrary it but employ all his service to
medicine it in such sort as the nature of it required. But even this
kindness made Pyrocles the more to melt in the former unkindness,
which his manlike tears well shewed, with a silent look upon
Musidorus, as who should say: “And is it possible that Musidorus
should threaten to leave me?” and this struck Musidorus’s mind and
senses so dumb, too, that for grief being not able to say anything,
they rested with their eyes placed one upon the other, in such sort as
might well paint out the true passion of unkindness to be never
aright, but betwixt them that most dearly love.
And thus remained they a time, till at length Musidorus embracing him,
said “And will you thus shake off your friend?” “It is you that shake
me off,” said Pyrocles, “being for my unperfectness unworthy of your
friendship.” “But this,” said Musidorus, “shows you more unperfect to
be cruel to him that submits himself unto you. But since you are
unperfect,” said he, smiling, “it is reason you be governed by us wise
and perfect men. And that authority will I begin to take upon me, with
three absolute commandments: the first, that you increase not your
evil with further griefs: the second, that you love her with all the
powers of your mind: and the last commandment shall be, you command me
to do what service I can towards the attaining of your desires.”
Pyrocles’s heart was not so oppressed with the two mighty passions of
love and unkindness but that it yielded to some mirth at this
commandment of Musidorus that he should love, so that something
clearing his face from his former shows of grief: “Well,” said he,
“dear cousin! I see by the well choosing of your commandments that you
are far fitter to be a prince than a counsellor, and therefore I am
resolved to employ all my endeavour to obey you, with this condition,
that the commandments ye command me to lay upon you shall only be,
that you continue to love me, and look upon my imperfections with more
affection than judgment.” “Love you,” said he, “alas! how can my heart
be separated from the true embracing of it without it burst by being
too full of it?” “But,” said he, “let us leave off these flowers of
new begun friendship: and now I pray you again tell me, but tell it me
fully, omitting no circumstance, the story of your affections, both
beginning and proceeding, assuring yourself, that there is nothing so
great which I will fear to do for you, nor nothing so small which I
will disdain to do for you. Let me, therefore, receive a clear
understanding, which many times we miss, while those things we account
small, as a speech or a look, are omitted, like as a whole sentence
may fail of his congruity by wanting one particle. Therefore between
friends all must be laid open, nothing being superfluous nor tedious.”
“You shall be obeyed,” said Pyrocles, “and here are {65} we in as fit
a place for it as may be; for this arbour nobody offers to come into
but myself, I using it as my melancholy retiring place, and therefore
that respect is borne unto it: yet if by chance any should come, say
that you are a servant sent from the queen of the Amazons to seek me,
and then let me alone for the rest.” So sat they down, and Pyrocles
thus said:
“Cousin!” said he, “then began the fatal overthrow of all my liberty
when, walking among the pictures in Kalander’s house, you yourself
delivered unto me what you had understood of Philoclea, who much
resembling (though I must say much surpassing) the lady Zelmane, whom
so well I loved: there were mine eyes, infected, and at your mouth did
I drink the poison. Yet alas! so sweet was it unto me, that I could
not be contented, till Kalander had made it more and more strong with
his declaration. Which the more I questioned, the more pity I
conceived of her unworthy fortune; and when with pity once my heart
was made tender, according to the aptness of the humour, it received
quickly a cruel impression of that wonderful passion, which to be
defined is impossible, because no words reach to the strange nature of
it: they only know it, which inwardly feel it; it is called love. Yet
did I not (poor wretch!) at first know my disease, thinking it only
such a wonted kind of desire to see rare sights, and my pity to be no
other but the fruits of a gentle nature. But even this arguing with
myself came of further thoughts, and the more I argued the more my
thoughts increased. Desirous I was to see the place where she
remained, as though the architecture of the lodges would have been
much for my learning, but more desirous to see herself, to be judge,
forsooth, of the painter’s cunning. For thus at the first did I
flatter myself, as though my wound had been no deeper: but when within
short time I came to the degree of uncertain wishes, and that those
wishes grew to unquiet longings, when I could fix my thoughts upon
nothing but that within little varying they should end with Philoclea;
when each thing I saw seemed to figure out some part of my passions;
when even Parthenia’s fair face became a lecture to me of Philoclea’s
imagined beauty; when I heard no word spoken, but that methought it
carried the sound of Philoclea’s name; then indeed, then I did yield
to the burden, finding myself prisoner, before I had leisure to arm
myself: and that I might well, like the spaniel, gnaw upon the chain
that ties him; but I should sooner mar my teeth, than procure liberty:
yet I take to witness the eternal spring of virtue, that I had never
read, heard, nor seen anything: I had never any taste of philosophy,
nor inward feeling in myself, which for a while I did not call to my
succour. But, alas! what resistance was there, when ere long my very
reason was, you will say, corrupted, I must {66} confess, conquered,
and that methought even reason did assure me that all eyes did
degenerate from their creation which did not honour such beauty?
nothing in truth could hold any plea with it but the reverend
friendship I bear unto you. For as it went against my heart to break
anyway from you, so did I fear, more than any assault, to break it to
you: finding, as it is indeed, that to a heart fully resolute, counsel
is tedious, but reprehension is loathsome: and that there is nothing
more terrible to a guilty heart, than the eye of a respected friend.
This made me determine with myself, thinking it a less fault in
friendship to do a thing without your knowledge, than against your
will, to take this secret course, which conceit was most builded up in
me the last day of my parting and speaking with you, when upon your
speech with me, and my but naming love, when else perchance I would
have gone further, I saw your voice and countenance so change, as it
assured me my revealing it should but purchase your grief with my
cumber, and therefore (dear Musidorus!) even ran away from my
well-known chiding: for having written a letter, which I know not
whether you found or no, and taking my chief jewels with me, while you
were in the midst of your sport, I got a time, as I think, unmarked by
any, to steal away I cared not whither, so I might escape you, and so
came I to Ithonia, in the province of Messenia, where, lying secret, I
put this in practice, which before I had devised. For remembering by
Philanax’s letter and Kalander’s speech, how obstinately Basilius was
determined not to marry his daughters, and therefore fearing lest any
public dealing should rather increase her captivity than further my
love; love (the refiner of invention) had put in my head thus to
disguise myself, that under that mask I might, if it were possible,
get access, and what access could bring forth commit to fortune and
industry, determining to bear the countenance of an Amazon. Therefore
in the closest manner I could, naming myself Zelmane, for that dear
lady’s sake, to whose memory I am so much bound, I caused this apparel
to be made, and bringing it near the lodges, which are hard at hand,
by night thus dressed myself, resting till occasion might make me to
be found by them whom I sought; which the next morning happened as
well as mine own plot could have laid it. For after I had run over the
whole pedigree of my thoughts, I gave myself to sing a little, which,
as you know, I ever delighted in, so now especially, whether it be the
nature of this clime to stir up poetical fancies, or rather as I
think, of love, whose scope being pleasure, will not so much as utter
his griefs, but in some form of pleasure.
“But I had sung very little, when (as I think, displeased with my bad
music) comes master Dametas with a hedging bill in his {67} hand,
chafing and swearing by the pantoffle of Pallas, and such other oaths
as his rustical bravery could imagine; and when he saw me, I assure
you, my beauty was no more beholding to him than my harmony; for
leaning his hands upon his bill, and his chin upon his hands, with the
voice of one that playeth Hercules in a play, but never had his fancy
in his head, the first word he spake unto me, was, ‘Am not I Dametas?
why am not I Dametas?’ He needed not to name himself, for Kalander’s
description had let such a note upon him as made him very notable unto