The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
SERVING-WENCH OF HERS, WHILST THE LADY'S BROTHERS CAUSE THE
BISHOP FIND HIM IN THIS CASE
Elisa being come to the end of her story, which she had related to the
no small pleasure of all the company, the queen turned to Emilia, and
signified to her her wish that she should follow after with her story,
whereupon she promptly began thus: "I have not forgotten, noble
ladies, that it hath already been shown, in sundry of the foregoing
stories, how much we women are exposed to the importunities of the
priests and friars and clergy of every kind; but, seeing that so much
cannot be said thereof but that yet more will remain to say, I
purpose, to boot, to tell you a story of a rector, who, maugre all the
world, would e'en have a gentlewoman wish him well,[377] whether she
would or not; whereupon she, like a very discreet woman as she was,
used him as he deserved.
[Footnote 377: _i.e._ love him, grant him her favours. See ante,
passim.]
As all of you know, Fiesole, whose hill we can see hence, was once a
very great and ancient city, nor, albeit it is nowadays all undone,
hath it ever ceased to be, as it is yet, the seat of a bishop. Near
the cathedral church there a widow lady of noble birth, by name Madam
Piccarda, had an estate, where, for that she was not overwell to do,
she abode the most part of the year in a house of hers that was not
very big, and with her, two brothers of hers, very courteous and
worthy youths. It chanced that, the lady frequenting the cathedral
church and being yet very young and fair and agreeable, the rector of
the church became so sore enamoured of her that he could think of
nothing else, and after awhile, making bold to discover his mind to
her, he prayed her accept of his love and love him as he loved her.
Now he was already old in years, but very young in wit, malapert and
arrogant and presumptuous in the extreme, with manners and fashions
full of conceit and ill grace, and withal so froward and
ill-conditioned that there was none who wished him well; and if any
had scant regard for him, it was the lady in question, who not only
wished him no whit of good, but hated him worse than the megrims;
wherefore, like a discreet woman as she was, she answered him, 'Sir,
that you love me should be mighty pleasing to me, who am bound to love
you and will gladly do so; but between your love and mine nothing
unseemly should ever befall. You are my spiritual father and a priest
and are presently well stricken in years, all which things should make
you both modest and chaste; whilst I, on the other hand, am no girl,
nor do these amorous toys beseem my present condition, for that I am a
widow and you well know what discretion is required in widows;
wherefore I pray you hold me excused, for that I shall never love you
after the fashion whereof you require me; nor do I wish to be thus
loved of you.'
The rector could get of her no other answer for that time, but, nowise
daunted or disheartened by the first rebuff, solicited her again and
again with the most overweening importunity, both by letter and
message, nay, even by word of mouth, whenas he saw her come into the
church. Wherefor, herseeming that this was too great and too grievous
an annoy, she cast about to rid herself of him after such a fashion as
he deserved, since she could no otherwise, but would do nought ere she
had taken counsel with her brothers. Accordingly, she acquainted them
with the rector's behaviour towards her and that which she purposed to
do, and having therein full license from them, went a few days after
to the church, as was her wont. As soon as the rector saw her, he came
up to her and with his usual assurance, accosted her familiarly. The
lady received him with a cheerful countenance and withdrawing apart
with him, after he had said many words to her in his wonted style, she
heaved a great sigh and said, 'Sir, I have heard that there is no
fortalice so strong but that, being every day assaulted, it cometh at
last to be taken, and this I can very well see to have happened to
myself; for that you have so closely beset me with soft words and with
one complaisance and another, that you have made me break my resolve,
and I am now disposed, since I please you thus, to consent to be
yours.' 'Gramercy, madam,' answered the rector, overjoyed, 'to tell
you the truth, I have often wondered how you could hold out so long,
considering that never did the like betide me with any woman; nay, I
have said whiles, "Were women of silver, they would not be worth a
farthing, for that not one of them would stand the hammer." But let
that pass for the present. When and where can we be together?' Whereto
quoth the lady, 'Sweet my lord, as for the when, it may be what time
soever most pleaseth us, for that I have no husband to whom it
behoveth me render an account of my nights; but for the where I know
not how to contrive.' 'How?' cried the priest. 'Why, in your house to
be sure.' 'Sir,' answered the lady, 'you know I have two young
brothers, who come and go about the house with their companions day
and night, and my house is not overbig; wherefore it may not be there,
except one chose to abide there mute-fashion, without saying a word or
making the least sound, and be in the dark, after the manner of the
blind. An you be content to do this, it might be, for they meddle not
with my bedchamber; but their own is so close to mine that one cannot
whisper the least word, without its being heard.' 'Madam,' answered
the rector, 'this shall not hinder us for a night or two, against I
bethink me where we may foregather more at ease.' Quoth she, 'Sir, let
that rest with you; but of one thing I pray you, that this abide
secret, so no word be ever known thereof.' 'Madam,' replied he, 'have
no fear for that; but, an it may be, make shift that we shall
foregather this evening.' 'With all my heart,' said the lady; and
appointing him how and when he should come, she took leave of him and
returned home.
Now she had a serving-wench, who was not overyoung, but had the
foulest and worst-favoured visnomy was ever seen; for she had a nose
flattened sore, a mouth all awry, thick lips and great ill-set teeth;
moreover, she inclined to squint, nor was ever without sore eyes, and
had a green and yellow complexion, which gave her the air of having
passed the summer not at Fiesole, but at Sinigaglia.[378] Besides all
this, she was hipshot and a thought crooked on the right side. Her
name was Ciuta, but, for that she had such a dog's visnomy of her own,
she was called of every one Ciutazza;[379] and for all she was
misshapen of her person, she was not without a spice of roguishness.
The lady called her and said to her, 'Harkye, Ciutazza, an thou wilt
do me a service this night. I will give thee a fine new shift.'
Ciutazza, hearing speak of the shift, answered, 'Madam, so you give me
a shift, I will cast myself into the fire, let alone otherwhat.'
'Well, then,' said her mistress, 'I would have thee lie to-night with
a man in my bed and load him with caresses, but take good care not to
say a word, lest thou be heard by my brothers, who, as thou knowest,
sleep in the next room; and after I will give thee the shift.' Quoth
Ciutazza, 'With all my heart. I will lie with half a dozen men, if
need be, let alone one.' Accordingly, at nightfall, my lord the rector
made his appearance, according to agreement, whilst the two young men,
by the lady's appointment, were in their bedchamber and took good care
to make themselves heard; wherefore he entered the lady's chamber in
silence and darkness and betook himself, as she had bidden him,
straight to the bed, whither on her part came Ciutazza, who had been
well lessoned by the lady of that which she had to do. My lord rector,
thinking he had his mistress beside him, caught Ciutazza in his arms
and fell to kissing her, without saying a word, and she him; whereupon
he proceeded to solace himself with her, taking, as he thought,
possession of the long-desired good.
[Footnote 378: _i.e._ in the malaria district.]
[Footnote 379: _i.e._ great ugly Ciuta.]
The lady, having done this, charged her brothers carry the rest of the
plot into execution, wherefore, stealing softly out of the chamber,
they made for the great square and fortune was more favorable to them
than they themselves asked in that which they had a mind to do,
inasmuch as, the heat being great, the bishop had enquired for the two
young gentlemen, so he might go a-pleasuring to their house and drink
with them. But, seeing them coming, he acquainted them with his wish
and returned with them to their house, where, entering a cool little
courtyard of theirs, in which were many flambeaux alight, he drank
with great pleasure of an excellent wine of theirs. When he had
drunken, the young men said to him, 'My lord, since you have done us
so much favour as to deign to visit this our poor house, whereto we
came to invite you, we would have you be pleased to view a small
matter with which we would fain show you.' The bishop answered that he
would well; whereupon one of the young men, taking a lighted flambeau
in his hand, made for the chamber where my lord rector lay with
Ciutazza, followed by the bishop and all the rest. The rector, to
arrive the quicklier at his journey's end, had hastened to take horse
and had already ridden more than three miles before they came thither;
wherefore, being somewhat weary, he had, notwithstanding the heat,
fallen asleep with Ciutazza in his arms. Accordingly, when the young
man entered the chamber, light in hand, and after him the bishop and
all the others, he was shown to the prelate in this plight; whereupon
he awoke and seeing the light and the folk about him, was sore abashed
and hid his head for fear under the bed-clothes. The bishop gave him a
sound rating and made him put out his head and see with whom he had
lain; whereupon the rector, understanding the trick that had been
played him of the lady, what with this and what with the disgrace
himseemed he had gotten, became of a sudden the woefullest man that
was aye. Then, having, by the bishop's commandment, reclad himself, he
was despatched to his house under good guard, to suffer sore penance
for the sin he had committed. The bishop presently enquiring how it
came to pass that he had gone thither to lie with Ciutazza, the young
men orderly related everything to him, which having heard, he greatly
commended both the lady and her brothers for that, without choosing to
imbrue their hands in the blood of a priest, they had entreated him as
he deserved. As for the rector, he caused him bewail his offence forty
days' space; but love and despite made him rue it for more than
nine-and-forty,[380] more by token that, for a great while after, he
could never go abroad but the children would point at him and say,
'See, there is he who lay with Ciutazza'; the which was so sore an
annoy to him that he was like to go mad therefor. On such wise did the
worthy lady rid herself of the importunity of the malapert rector and
Ciutazza gained the shift and a merry night."
[Footnote 380: _Quarantanove_, a proverbial expression for an
indefinite number.]
THE FIFTH STORY
[Day the Eighth]
THREE YOUNG MEN PULL THE BREECHES OFF A MARCHEGAN JUDGE IN
FLORENCE, WHAT WHILE HE IS ON THE BENCH, ADMINISTERING
JUSTICE
Emilia having made an end of her story and the widow lady having been
commended of all, the queen looked to Filostrato and said, "It is now
thy turn to tell." He answered promptly that he was ready and began,
"Delightsome ladies, the mention by Elisa a little before of a certain
young man, to wit, Maso del Saggio, hath caused me leave a story I
purposed to tell you, so I may relate to you one of him and certain