The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
judge, that a physician and a third a notary, tricked out with robes
long and large and scarlets and minivers and store of other fine
paraphernalia, and make a mighty brave show, to which how far the
effects conform we may still see all day long. Among the rest a
certain Master Simone da Villa, richer in inherited goods than in
learning, returned hither, no great while since, a doctor of medicine,
according to his own account, clad all in scarlet[397] and with a
great miniver hood, and took a house in the street which we call
nowadays the Via del Cocomero. This said Master Simone, being thus
newly returned, as hath been said, had, amongst other his notable
customs, a trick of asking whosoever was with him who was no matter
what man he saw pass in the street, and as if of the doings and
fashions of men he should compound the medicines he gave his
patients, he took note of all and laid them all up in his memory.
Amongst others on whom it occurred to him more particularly to cast
his eyes were two painters of whom it hath already twice to-day been
discoursed, namely, Bruno and Buffalmacco, who were neighbours of his
and still went in company. Himseeming they recked less of the world
and lived more merrily than other folk, as was indeed the case, he
questioned divers persons of their condition and hearing from all that
they were poor men and painters, he took it into his head that it
might not be they lived so blithely of their poverty, but concluded,
for that he had heard they were shrewd fellows, that they must needs
derive very great profits from some source unknown to the general;
wherefore he was taken with a desire to clap up an acquaintance, an he
might, with them both, or at least with one of them, and succeeded in
making friends with Bruno. The latter, perceiving, after he had been
with him a few times, that the physician was a very jackass, began to
give himself the finest time in the world with him and to be hugely
diverted with his extraordinary humours, whilst Master Simone in like
manner took a marvellous delight in his company.
[Footnote 397: The colour of the doctors' robes of that time.]
After a while, having sundry times bidden him to dinner and thinking
himself entitled in consequence to discourse familiarly with him, he
discovered to him the wonderment that he felt at him and Buffalmacco,
how, being poor men, they lived so merrily, and besought him to
apprise him how they did. Bruno, hearing this talk from the physician
and himseeing the question was one of his wonted witless
impertinences, fell a-laughing in his sleeve, and bethinking himself
to answer him according as his folly deserved, said, 'Doctor, there
are not many whom I would tell how we do; but you I shall not scruple
to tell, for that you are a friend and I know you will not repeat it
to any. It is true we live, my friend and I, as merrily and as well as
it appeareth to you, nay, more so, albeit neither of our craft nor of
revenues we derive from any possessions might we have enough to pay
for the very water we consume. Yet I would not, for all that, have you
think that we go steal; nay, we go a-roving, and thence, without hurt
unto any, we get us all to which we have a mind or for which we have
occasion; hence the merry life you see us lead.'
The physician, hearing this and believing it, without knowing what it
was, marvelled exceedingly and forthright conceiving an ardent desire
to know what manner of thing this going a-roving might be, besought
him very urgently to tell him, affirming that he would assuredly never
discover it to any. 'Alack, doctor,' cried Bruno, 'what is this you
ask me? This you would know is too great a secret and a thing to undo
me and drive me from the world, nay, to bring me into the mouth of the
Lucifer of San Gallo,[398] should any come to know it. But so great is
the love I bear your right worshipful pumpkinheadship of Legnaja[399]
and the confidence I have in you that I can deny you nothing you
would have; wherefore I will tell it you, on condition that you swear
to me by the cross at Montesone, never, as you have promised, to tell
it to any one.
[Footnote 398: The commentators note here that on the church door of
San Gallo was depicted an especially frightful Lucifer, with many
mouths.]
[Footnote 399: Legnaja is said to be famous for big pumpkins.]
The physician declared that he would never repeat what he should tell
him, and Bruno said, 'You must know, then, honey doctor mine, that not
long since there was in this city a great master in necromancy, who
was called Michael Scott, for that he was of Scotland, and who
received the greatest hospitality from many gentlemen, of whom few are
nowadays alive; wherefore, being minded to depart hence, he left them,
at their instant prayers, two of his ablest disciples, whom he
enjoined still to hold themselves in readiness to satisfy every wish
of the gentlemen who had so worshipfully entertained him. These two,
then, freely served the aforesaid gentlemen in certain amours of
theirs and other small matters, and afterward, the city and the usages
of the folk pleasing them, they determined to abide there always.
Accordingly, they contracted great and strait friendship with certain
of the townfolk, regarding not who they were, whether gentle or
simple, rich or poor, but solely if they were men comfortable to their
own usances; and to pleasure these who were thus become their friends,
they founded a company of maybe five-and-twenty men, who should
foregather twice at the least in the month in some place appointed of
them, where being assembled, each should tell them his desire, which
they would forthright accomplish unto him for that night. Buffalmacco
and I, having an especial friendship and intimacy with these two, were
put of them on the roll of the aforesaid company and are still
thereof. And I may tell you that, what time it chanceth that we
assemble together, it is a marvellous thing to see the hangings about
the saloon where we eat and the tables spread on royal wise and the
multitude of noble and goodly servants, as well female as male, at the
pleasure of each one who is of the company, and the basons and ewers
and flagons and goblets and the vessels of gold and silver, wherein we
eat and drink, more by token of the many and various viands that are
set before us, each in its season, according to that which each one
desireth. I could never avail to set out to you what and how many are
the sweet sounds of innumerable instruments and the songs full of
melody that are heard there; nor might I tell you how much wax is
burned at these suppers nor what and how many are the confections that
are consumed there nor how costly are the wines that are drunken. But
I would not have you believe, good saltless pumpkinhead mine, that we
abide there in this habit and with these clothes that you see us wear
every day; nay, there is none of us of so little account but would
seem to you an emperor, so richly are we adorned with vestments of
price and fine things. But, over all the other pleasures that be there
is that of fair ladies, who, so one but will it, are incontinent
brought thither from the four quarters of the world. There might you
see the Sovereign Lady of the Rascal-Roughs, the Queen of the Basques,
the wife of the Soldan, the Empress of the Usbeg Tartars, the
Driggledraggletail of Norroway, the Moll-a-green of Flapdoodleland and
the Madkate of Woolgathergreen. But why need I enumerate them to you?
There be all the queens in the world, even, I may say, to the
Sirreverence of Prester John, who hath his horns amiddleward his arse;
see you now? There, after we have drunken and eaten confections and
walked a dance or two, each lady betaketh herself to her bedchamber
with him at whose instance she hath been brought thither. And you must
know that these bedchambers are a very paradise to behold, so goodly
they are; ay, and they are no less odoriferous than are the
spice-boxes of your shop, whenas you let bray cummin-seed, and therein
are beds that would seem to you goodlier than that of the Doge of
Venice, and in these they betake themselves to rest. Marry, what a
working of the treadles, what a hauling-to of the battens to make the
cloth close, these weaveresses keep up, I will e'en leave you to
imagine; but of those who fare best, to my seeming, are Buffalmacco
and myself, for that he most times letteth come thither the Queen of
France for himself, whilst I send for her of England, the which are
two of the fairest ladies in the world, and we have known so to do
that they have none other eye in their head than us.[400] Wherefore
you may judge for yourself if we can and should live and go more
merrily than other men, seeing we have the love of two such queens,
more by token that, whenas we would have a thousand or two thousand
florins of them, we get them not. This, then, we commonly style going
a-roving, for that, like as the rovers take every man's good, even so
do we, save that we are in this much different from them that they
never restore that which they take, whereas we return it again, whenas
we have used it. Now, worthy doctor mine, you have heard what it is we
call going a-roving; but how strictly this requireth to be kept secret
you can see for yourself, and therefore I say no more to you nor pray
you thereof.'
[Footnote 400: _i.e._ they think of and cherish us alone, holding us
as dear as their very eyes.]
The physician, whose science reached no farther belike than the curing
children of the scald-head, gave as much credit to Bruno's story as
had been due to the most manifest truth and was inflamed with as great
desire to be received into that company as might be kindled in any for
the most desirable thing in the world; wherefore he made answer to him
that assuredly it was no marvel if they went merry and hardly
constrained himself to defer requesting him to bring him to be there
until such time as, having done him further hospitality, he might with
more confidence proffer his request to him. Accordingly, reserving
this unto a more favourable season, he proceeded to keep straiter
usance with Bruno, having him morning and evening to eat with him and
showing him an inordinate affection; and indeed so great and so
constant was this their commerce that it seemed as if the physician
could not nor knew how to live without the painter. The latter,
finding himself in good case, so he might not appear ungrateful for
the hospitality shown him, had painted Master Simone a picture of Lent
in his saloon, besides an Agnus Dei at the entering in of his chamber
and a chamber-pot over the street-door, so those who had occasion for
his advice might know how to distinguish him from the others; and in
a little gallery he had, he had depictured him the battle of the rats
and the cats, which appeared to the physician a very fine thing.
Moreover, he said whiles to him, whenas he had not supper with him
overnight, 'I was at the society yesternight and being a trifle tired
of the Queen of England, I caused fetch me the Dolladoxy of the Grand
Cham of Tartary.' 'What meaneth Dolladoxy?' asked Master Simone. 'I do
not understand these names.' 'Marry, doctor mine,' replied Bruno, 'I
marvel not thereat, for I have right well heard that Porcograsso and
Vannacena[401] say nought thereof.' Quoth the physician. 'Thou meanest
Ipocrasso and Avicenna.' 'I' faith,' answered Bruno, 'I know not; I
understand your names as ill as you do mine; but Dolladoxy in the
Grand Cham's lingo meaneth as much as to say Empress in our tongue.
Egad, you would think her a plaguy fine woman! I dare well say she
would make you forget your drugs and your clysters and all your
plasters.'
[Footnote 401: _i.e._ Fat-hog and Get-thee-to-supper, burlesque