The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
groped about, to see if he could find him again, so he might make an
end of his service; but, finding him not and concluding that the
police had carried him off, he returned to his own house, woebegone,
whilst Alessandro, unknowing what else to do, made off home on like
wise, chagrined at such a misadventure and without having recognized
him who had borne him thither. On the morrow, Scannadio's tomb being
found open and his body not to be seen, for that Alessandro had rolled
it to the bottom of the vault, all Pistoia was busy with various
conjectures anent the matter, and the simpler sort concluded that he
had been carried off by the devils. Nevertheless, each of the two
lovers signified to the lady that which he had done and what had
befallen and excusing himself withal for not having full accomplished
her commandment, claimed her favour and her love; but she, making
believe to credit neither of this, rid herself of them with a curt
response to the effect that she would never consent to do aught for
them, since they had not done that which she had required of them."
THE SECOND STORY
[Day the Ninth]
AN ABBESS, ARISING IN HASTE AND IN THE DARK TO FIND ONE OF
HER NUNS, WHO HAD BEEN DENOUNCED TO HER, IN BED WITH HER
LOVER AND THINKING TO COVER HER HEAD WITH HER COIF, DONNETH
INSTEAD THEREOF THE BREECHES OF A PRIEST WHO IS ABED WITH
HER; THE WHICH THE ACCUSED NUN OBSERVING AND MAKING HER
AWARE THEREOF, SHE IS ACQUITTED AND HATH LEISURE TO BE WITH
HER LOVER
Filomena was now silent and the lady's address in ridding herself of
those whom she chose not to love having been commended of all, whilst,
on the other hand, the presumptuous hardihood of the two gallants was
held of them to be not love, but madness, the queen said gaily to
Elisa, "Elisa, follow on." Accordingly, she promptly began,
"Adroitly, indeed, dearest ladies, did Madam Francesca contrive to rid
herself of her annoy, as hath been told; but a young nun, fortune
aiding her, delivered herself with an apt speech from an imminent
peril. As you know, there be many very dull folk, who set up for
teachers and censors of others, but whom, as you may apprehend from my
story, fortune bytimes deservedly putteth to shame, as befell the
abbess, under whose governance was the nun of whom I have to tell.
You must know, then, that there was once in Lombardy a convent, very
famous for sanctity and religion, wherein, amongst the other nuns who
were there, was a young lady of noble birth and gifted with marvellous
beauty, who was called Isabetta and who, coming one day to the grate
to speak with a kinsman of hers, fell in love with a handsome young
man who accompanied him. The latter, seeing her very fair and divining
her wishes with his eyes, became on like wise enamoured of her, and
this love they suffered a great while without fruit, to the no small
unease of each. At last, each being solicited by a like desire, the
young man hit upon a means of coming at his nun in all secrecy, and
she consenting thereto, he visited her, not once, but many times, to
the great contentment of both. But, this continuing, it chanced one
night that he was, without the knowledge of himself or his mistress,
seen of one of the ladies of the convent to take leave of Isabetta and
go his ways. The nun communicated her discovery to divers others and
they were minded at first to denounce Isabetta to the abbess, who was
called Madam Usimbalda and who, in the opinion of the nuns and of
whosoever knew her, was a good and pious lady; but, on consideration,
they bethought themselves to seek to have the abbess take her with the
young man, so there might be no room for denial. Accordingly, they
held their peace and kept watch by turns in secret to surprise her.
Now it chanced that Isabetta, suspecting nothing of this nor being on
her guard, caused her lover come thither one night, which was
forthright known to those who were on the watch for this and who,
whenas it seemed to them time, a good part of the night being spent,
divided themselves into two parties, whereof one abode on guard at the
door of her cell, whilst the other ran to the abbess's chamber and
knocking at the door, till she answered, said to her, 'Up, madam;
arise quickly, for we have discovered that Isabetta hath a young man
in her cell.' Now the abbess was that night in company with a priest,
whom she ofttimes let come to her in a chest; but, hearing the nuns'
outcry and fearing lest, of their overhaste and eagerness, they should
push open the door, she hurriedly arose and dressed herself as best
she might in the dark. Thinking to take certain plaited veils, which
nuns wear on their heads and call a psalter, she caught up by chance
the priest's breeches, and such was her haste that, without remarking
what she did, she threw them over her head, in lieu of the psalter,
and going forth, hurriedly locked the door after her, saying, 'Where
is this accursed one of God?' Then, in company with the others, who
were so ardent and so intent upon having Isabetta taken in default
that they noted not that which the abbess had on her head, she came
to the cell-door and breaking it open, with the aid of the others,
entered and found the two lovers abed in each other's arms, who, all
confounded at such a surprise, abode fast, unknowing what to do.
The young lady was incontinent seized by the other nuns and haled off,
by command of the abbess, to the chapter-house, whilst her gallant
dressed himself and abode await to see what should be the issue of the
adventure, resolved, if any hurt were offered to his mistress, to do a
mischief to as many nuns as he could come at and carry her off. The
abbess, sitting in chapter, proceeded, in the presence of all the
nuns, who had no eyes but for the culprit, to give the latter the
foulest rating that ever woman had, as having by her lewd and filthy
practices (an the thing should come to be known without the walls)
sullied the sanctity, the honour and the fair fame of the convent; and
to this she added very grievous menaces. The young lady, shamefast and
fearful, as feeling herself guilty, knew not what to answer and
keeping silence, possessed the other nuns with compassion for her.
However, after a while, the abbess multiplying words, she chanced to
raise her eyes and espied that which the former had on her head and
the hose-points that hung down therefrom on either side; whereupon,
guessing how the matter stood, she was all reassured and said, 'Madam,
God aid you, tie up your coif and after say what you will to me.'
The abbess, taking not her meaning, answered, 'What coif, vile woman
that thou art? Hast thou the face to bandy pleasantries at such a
time? Thinkest thou this that thou hast done is a jesting matter?'
'Prithee, madam,' answered Isabetta, 'tie up your coif and after say
what you will to me.' Thereupon many of the nuns raised their eyes to
the abbess's head and she also, putting her hand thereto, perceived,
as did the others, why Isabetta spoke thus; wherefore the abbess,
becoming aware of her own default and perceiving that it was seen of
all, past hope of recoverance, changed her note and proceeding to
speak after a fashion altogether different from her beginning, came to
the conclusion that it is impossible to withstand the pricks of the
flesh, wherefore she said that each should, whenas she might, privily
give herself a good time, even as it had been done until that day.
Accordingly, setting the young lady free, she went back to sleep with
her priest and Isabetta returned to her lover, whom many a time
thereafter she let come thither, in despite of those who envied her,
whilst those of the others who were loverless pushed their fortunes in
secret, as best they knew."
THE THIRD STORY
[Day the Ninth]
MASTER SIMONE, AT THE INSTANCE OF BRUNO AND BUFFALMACCO AND
NELLO, MAKETH CALANDRINO BELIEVE THAT HE IS WITH CHILD;
WHEREFORE HE GIVETH THEM CAPONS AND MONEY FOR MEDICINES AND
RECOVERETH WITHOUT BRINGING FORTH
After Elisa had finished her story and all the ladies had returned
thanks to God, who had with a happy issue delivered the young nun from
the claws of her envious companions, the queen bade Filostrato follow
on, and he, without awaiting further commandment, began, "Fairest
ladies, the unmannerly lout of a Marchegan judge, of whom I told you
yesterday, took out of my mouth a story of Calandrino and his
companions, which I was about to relate; and for that, albeit it hath
been much discoursed of him and them, aught that is told of him cannot
do otherwise than add to our merriment, I will e'en tell you that
which I had then in mind.
It hath already been clearly enough shown who Calandrino was and who
were the others of whom I am to speak in this story, wherefore,
without further preface, I shall tell you that an aunt of his chanced
to die and left him two hundred crowns in small coin; whereupon he
fell a-talking of wishing to buy an estate and entered into treaty
with all the brokers in Florence, as if he had ten thousand gold
florins to expend; but the matter still fell through, when they came
to the price of the estate in question. Bruno and Buffalmacco, knowing
all this, had told him once and again that he were better spend the
money in making merry together with them than go buy land, as if he
had had to make pellets;[426] but, far from this, they had never even
availed to bring him to give them once to eat. One day, as they were
complaining of this, there came up a comrade of theirs, a painter by
name Nello, and they all three took counsel together how they might
find a means of greasing their gullets at Calandrino's expense;
wherefore, without more delay, having agreed among themselves of that
which was to do, they watched next morning for his coming forth of his
house, nor had he gone far when Nello accosted him, saying, 'Good-day,
Calandrino.' Calandrino answered God give him good day and good year,
and Nello, halting awhile, fell to looking him in the face; whereupon
Calandrino asked him, 'At what lookest thou?' Quoth the painter, 'Hath
aught ailed thee this night? Meseemeth thou are not thyself this
morning.' Calandrino incontinent began to quake and said, 'Alack, how
so? What deemest thou aileth me?' 'Egad,' answered Nello, 'as for that
I can't say; but thou seemest to me all changed; belike it is
nothing.' So saying, he let him pass, and Calandrino fared on, all
misdoubtful, albeit he felt no whit ailing; but Buffalmacco, who was
not far off, seeing him quit of Nello, made for him and saluting him,
enquired if aught ailed him. Quoth Calandrino, 'I know not; nay, Nello
told me but now that I seemed to him all changed. Can it be that aught
aileth me?' 'Ay,' rejoined Buffalmacco, 'there must e'en be something
or other amiss with thee, for thou appearest half dead.'
[Footnote 426: _i.e._ balls for a pellet bow, usually made out of
clay. Bruno and Buffalmacco were punning upon the double meaning, land
and earth (or clay), of the word _terra_.]
By this time it seemed to Calandrino that he had the fevers, when, lo,
up came Bruno and the first thing he said was, 'Calandrino, what
manner of face is this?' Calandrino, hearing them all in the same
tale, held it for certain that he was in an ill way and asked them,
all aghast, 'what shall I do?' Quoth Bruno, 'Methinketh thou wert best
return home and get thee to bed and cover thyself well and send thy
water to Master Simone the doctor, who is, as thou knowest, as our
very creature and will tell thee incontinent what thou must do. We
will go with thee and if it behoveth to do aught, we will do it.'
Accordingly, Nello having joined himself to them, they returned home
with Calandrino, who betook himself, all dejected, into the bedchamber