The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
disagreeable folk be so distasteful to thee as thou sayest, never
mirror thyself in the glass, so thou wouldst live merry.' But she,
emptier than a reed, albeit herseemed she was a match for Solomon in
wit, apprehended Fresco's true speech no better than a block; nay, she
said that she chose to mirror herself in the glass like other women;
and so she abode in her folly and therein abideth yet."
[Footnote 308: An abbreviation of Francesca.]
THE NINTH STORY
[Day the Sixth]
GUIDO CAVALCANTI WITH A PITHY SPEECH COURTEOUSLY FLOUTETH
CERTAIN FLORENTINE GENTLEMEN WHO HAD TAKEN HIM BY SURPRISE
The queen, seeing Emilia delivered of her story and that it rested
with none other than herself to tell, saving him who was privileged to
speak last, began thus, "Although, sprightly ladies, you have this day
taken out of my mouth at the least two stories, whereof I had purposed
to relate one, I have yet one left to tell, the end whereof compriseth
a saying of such a fashion that none, peradventure, of such
pertinence, hath yet been cited to us.
You must know, then, that there were in our city, of times past, many
goodly and commendable usances, whereof none is left there nowadays,
thanks to the avarice that hath waxed therein with wealth and hath
banished them all. Among these there was a custom to the effect that
the gentlemen of the various quarters of Florence assembled together
in divers places about the town and formed themselves into companies
of a certain number, having a care to admit thereinto such only as
might aptly bear the expense, whereof to-day the one and to-morrow the
other, and so all in turn, hold open house, each his day, for the
whole company. At these banquets they often entertained both stranger
gentlemen, whenas there came any thither, and those of the city; and
on like wise, once at the least in the year, they clad themselves
alike and rode in procession through the city on the most notable days
and whiles they held passes of arms, especially on the chief holidays
or whenas some glad news of victory or the like came to the city.
Amongst these companies was one of Messer Betto Brunelleschi,
whereinto the latter and his companions had studied amain to draw
Guido, son of Messer Cavalcante de' Cavalcanti, and not without cause;
for that, besides being one of the best logicians in the world and an
excellent natural philosopher (of which things, indeed, they recked
little), he was very sprightly and well-bred and a mighty well-spoken
man and knew better than any other to do everything that he would and
that pertained unto a gentleman, more by token that he was very rich
and knew wonder-well how to entertain whomsoever he deemed deserving
of honour. But Messer Betto had never been able to win and to have
him, and he and his companions believed that this betided for that
Guido, being whiles engaged in abstract speculations, became much
distraught from mankind; and for that he inclined somewhat to the
opinion of the Epicureans, it was reported among the common folk that
these his speculations consisted only in seeking if it might be
discovered that God was not.
It chanced one day that Guido set out from Orto San Michele and came
by way of the Corso degli Ademari, the which was oftentimes his road,
to San Giovanni, round about which there were at that present divers
great marble tombs (which are nowadays at Santa Reparata) and many
others. As he was between the columns of porphyry there and the tombs
in question and the door of the church, which was shut, Messer Betto
and his company, coming a-horseback along the Piazza di Santa
Reparata, espied him among the tombs and said, 'Let us go plague him.'
Accordingly, spurring their horses, they charged all down upon him in
sport and coming upon him ere he was aware of them, said to him,
'Guido, thou refusest to be of our company; but, harkye, whenas thou
shalt have found that God is not, what wilt thou have accomplished?'
Guido, seeing himself hemmed in by them, answered promptly,
'Gentlemen, you may say what you will to me in your own house'; then,
laying his hand on one of the great tombs aforesaid and being very
nimble of body, he took a spring and alighting on the other side, made
off, having thus rid himself of them.
The gentlemen abode looking one upon another and fell a-saying that he
was a crack-brain and that this that he had answered them amounted to
nought seeing that there where they were they had no more to do than
all the other citizens, nor Guido himself less than any of themselves.
But Messer Betto turned to them and said, 'It is you who are the
crackbrains, if you have not apprehended him. He hath courteously and
in a few words given us the sharpest rebuke in the world; for that, an
you consider aright, these tombs are the houses of the dead, seeing
they are laid and abide therein, and these, saith he, are our house,
meaning thus to show us that we and other foolish and unlettered men
are, compared with him and other men of learning, worse than dead
folk; wherefore, being here, we are in our own house.' Thereupon each
understood what Guido had meant to say and was abashed nor ever
plagued him more, but held Messer Betto thenceforward a gentleman of a
subtle wit and an understanding."
THE TENTH STORY
[Day the Sixth]
FRA CIPOLLA PROMISETH CERTAIN COUNTRY FOLK TO SHOW THEM ONE
OF THE ANGEL GABRIEL'S FEATHERS AND FINDING COALS IN PLACE
THEREOF, AVOUCHETH THESE LATTER TO BE OF THOSE WHICH ROASTED
ST. LAWRENCE
Each of the company being now quit of his[309] story, Dioneo perceived
that it rested with him to tell; whereupon, without awaiting more
formal commandment, he began on this wise, silence having first been
imposed on those who commended Guido's pregnant retort: "Charming
ladies, albeit I am privileged to speak of that which most liketh me,
I purpose not to-day to depart from the matter whereof you have all
very aptly spoken; but, ensuing in your footsteps, I mean to show you
how cunningly a friar of the order of St. Anthony, by name Fra
Cipolla, contrived with a sudden shift to extricate himself from a
snare[310] which had been set for him by two young men; nor should it
irk you if, for the complete telling of the story, I enlarge somewhat
in speaking, an you consider the sun, which is yet amiddleward in the
sky.
[Footnote 309: "Or her."]
[Footnote 310: Lit. to avoid or elude a scorn (_fuggire uno scorno_).]
Certaldo, as you may have heard, is a burgh of Val d' Elsa situate in
our country, which, small though it be, was once inhabited by
gentlemen and men of substance; and thither, for that he found good
pasture there, one of the friars of the order of St. Anthony was long
used to resort once a year, to get in the alms bestowed by simpletons
upon him and his brethren. His name was Fra Cipolla and he was gladly
seen there, no less belike, for his name's sake[311] than for other
reasons, seeing that these parts produce onions that are famous
throughout all Tuscany. This Fra Cipolla was little of person,
red-haired and merry of countenance, the jolliest rascal in the world,
and to boot, for all he was no scholar, he was so fine a talker and so
ready of wit that those who knew him not would not only have esteemed
him a great rhetorician, but had avouched him to be Tully himself or
may be Quintilian; and he was gossip or friend or well-wisher[312] to
well nigh every one in the country.
[Footnote 311: _Cipolla_ means onion.]
[Footnote 312: The term "well-wisher" (_benivogliente_), when
understood in relation to a woman, is generally equivalent (at least
with the older Italian writers) to "lover." See ante, passim.]
One August among others he betook himself thither according to his
wont, and on a Sunday morning, all the goodmen and goodwives of the
villages around being come to hear mass at the parish church, he came
forward, whenas it seemed to him time, and said, 'Gentlemen and
ladies, it is, as you know, your usance to send every year to the poor
of our lord Baron St. Anthony of your corn and of your oats, this
little and that much, according to his means and his devoutness, to
the intent that the blessed St. Anthony may keep watch over your
beeves and asses and swine and sheep; and besides this, you use to
pay, especially such of you as are inscribed into our company, that
small due which is payable once a year. To collect these I have been
sent by my superior, to wit, my lord abbot; wherefore, with the
blessing of God, you shall, after none, whenas you hear the bells
ring, come hither without the church, where I will make preachment to
you after the wonted fashion and you shall kiss the cross; moreover,
for that I know you all to be great devotees of our lord St. Anthony,
I will, as an especial favour show you a very holy and goodly relic,
which I myself brought aforetime from the holy lands beyond seas; and
that is one of the Angel Gabriel's feathers, which remained in the
Virgin Mary's chamber, whenas he came to announce to her in Nazareth.'
This said, he broke off and went on with his mass.
Now, when he said this, there were in the church, among many others,
two roguish young fellows, hight one Giovanni del Bragioniera and the
other Biagio Pizzini, who, after laughing with one another awhile over
Fra Cipolla's relic, took counsel together, for all they were great
friends and cronies of his, to play him some trick in the matter of
the feather in question. Accordingly, having learned that he was to
dine that morning with a friend of his in the burgh, they went down
into the street as soon as they knew him to be at table, and betook
themselves to the inn where he had alighted, purposing that Biagio
should hold his servant in parley, whilst Giovanni should search his
baggage for the feather aforesaid, whatever it might be, and carry it
off, to see what he should say to the people of the matter.
Fra Cipolla had a servant, whom some called Guccio[313] Balena,[314]
others Guccio Imbratta[315] and yet others Guccia Porco[316] and who
was such a scurvy knave that Lipo Topo[317] never wrought his like,
inasmuch as his master used oftentimes to jest of him with his cronies
and say, 'My servant hath in him nine defaults, such that, were one of
them in Solomon or Aristotle or Seneca, it would suffice to mar all
their worth, all their wit and all their sanctity. Consider, then,
what a man he must be, who hath all nine of them and in whom there is
neither worth nor wit nor sanctity.' Being questioned whiles what were
these nine defaults and having put them into doggerel rhyme, he would
answer, 'I will tell you. He's a liar, a sloven, a slugabed;
disobedient, neglectful, ill bred; o'erweening, foul-spoken, a
dunderhead; beside which he hath divers other peccadilloes, whereof it
booteth not to speak. But what is most laughable of all his fashions
is that, wherever he goeth, he is still for taking a wife and hiring a
house; for, having a big black greasy beard, him-seemeth he is so
exceeding handsome and agreeable that he conceiteth himself all the
women who see him fall in love with him, and if you let him alone, he
would run after them all till he lost his girdle.[318] Sooth to say,
he is of great assistance to me, for that none can ever seek to speak
with me so secretly but he must needs hear his share; and if it chance
that I be questioned of aught, he is so fearful lest I should not know
how to answer, that he straightway answereth for me both Ay and No, as
he judgeth sortable.'
[Footnote 313: Diminutive of contempt of Arrigo, contracted from
Arriguccio, _i.e._ mean little Arrigo.]
[Footnote 314: _i.e._ Whale.]
[Footnote 315: _i.e._ Dirt.]
[Footnote 316: _i.e._ Hog.]
[Footnote 317: A painter of Boccaccio's time, of whom little or