The Decameron of Giovanni Boccaccio
what I hear? Meseemeth there is a knocking at our door.'
The lady, who had heard it much better than he, made a show of awaking
and said, 'Eh? How sayst thou?' 'I say,' answered Gianni, 'that
meseemeth there is a knocking at our door.' 'Knocking!' cried she.
'Alack, Gianni mine, knowst thou not what it is? It is a phantom, that
hath these last few nights given me the greatest fright that ever was,
insomuch that, whenas I hear it, I put my head under the clothes and
dare not bring it out again until it is broad day.' Quoth Gianni, 'Go
to, wife; have no fear, if it be so; for I said the _Te Lucis_ and the
_Intemerata_ and such and such other pious orisons, before we lay
down, and crossed the bed from side to side, in the name of the
Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost, so that we have no need to fear,
for that, what power soever it have, it cannot avail to harm us.'
The lady, fearing lest Federigo should perchance suspect otherwhat and
be angered with her, determined at all hazards to arise and let him
know that Gianni was there; wherefore quoth she to her husband, 'That
is all very well; thou sayst thy words, thou; but, for my part, I
shall never hold myself safe nor secure, except we exorcise it, since
thou art here.' 'And how is it to be exorcised?' asked he; and she, 'I
know full well how to exorcise it; for, the other day, when I went to
the Pardon at Fiesole, a certain anchoress (the very holiest of
creatures, Gianni mine, God only can say how holy she is,) seeing me
thus fearful, taught me a pious and effectual orison and told me that
she had made trial of it several times, ere she became a recluse, and
that it had always availed her. God knoweth I should never have dared
go alone to make proof of it; but, now that thou art here, I would
have us go exorcise the phantom.'
Gianni answered that he would well and accordingly they both arose and
went softly to the door, without which Federigo, who now began to
misdoubt him of somewhat, was yet in waiting. When they came thither,
the lady said to Gianni, 'Do thou spit, whenas I shall bid thee.' And
he answered, 'Good.' Then she began the conjuration and said,
'Phantom, phantom that goest by night, with tail upright[341] thou
cam'st to us; now get thee gone with tail upright. Begone into the
garden to the foot of the great peach tree; there shalt thou find an
anointed twice-anointed one[342] and an hundred turds of my sitting
hen;[343] set thy mouth to the flagon and get thee gone again and do
thou no hurt to my Gianni nor to me.' Then to her husband, 'Spit,
Gianni,' quoth she, and he spat. Federigo, who heard all this from
without and was now quit of jealousy, had, for all his vexation, so
great a mind to laugh that he was like to burst, and when Gianni spat,
he said under his breath '[Would it were] thy teeth!'
[Footnote 341: _i.e._ pene arrecto.]
[Footnote 342: _i.e._ a fattened capon well larded.]
[Footnote 343: _i.e._ eggs.]
The lady, having thrice conjured the phantom on this wise, returned to
bed with her husband, whilst Federigo, who had not supped, looking to
sup with her, and had right well apprehended the words of the
conjuration, betook himself to the garden and finding the capons and
wine and eggs at the foot of the great peach-tree, carried them off to
his house and there supped at his ease; and after, when he next
foregathered with the lady, he had a hearty laugh with her anent the
conjuration aforesaid. Some say indeed that the lady had actually
turned the ass's skull towards Fiesole, but that a husbandman, passing
through the vineyard, had given it a blow with a stick and caused it
spin round and it had become turned towards Florence, wherefore
Federigo, thinking himself summoned, had come thither, and that the
lady had made the conjuration on this wise: 'Phantom, phantom, get
thee gone in God's name; for it was not I turned the ass's head; but
another it was, God put him to shame! and I am here with my Gianni in
bed'; whereupon he went away and abode without supper or lodging. But
a neighbour of mine, a very ancient lady, telleth me that, according
to that which she heard, when a child, both the one and the other were
true; but that the latter happened, not to Gianni Lotteringhi, but to
one Gianni di Nello, who abode at Porta San Piero and was no less
exquisite a ninny than the other. Wherefore, dear my ladies, it
abideth at your election to take whether of the two orisons most
pleaseth you, except you will have both. They have great virtue in
such cases, as you have had proof in the story you have heard; get
them, therefore, by heart and they may yet avail you."
THE SECOND STORY
[Day the Seventh]
PERONELLA HIDETH A LOVER OF HERS IN A VAT, UPON HER
HUSBAND'S UNLOOKED FOR RETURN, AND HEARING FROM THE LATTER
THAT HE HATH SOLD THE VAT, AVOUCHETH HERSELF TO HAVE SOLD IT
TO ONE WHO IS PRESENTLY THEREWITHIN, TO SEE IF IT BE SOUND;
WHEREUPON THE GALLANT, JUMPING OUT OF THE VAT, CAUSETH THE
HUSBAND SCRAPE IT OUT FOR HIM AND AFTER CARRY IT HOME TO HIS
HOUSE
Emilia's story was received with loud laughter and the conjuration
commended of all as goodly and excellent; and this come to an end, the
king bade Filostrato follow on, who accordingly began, "Dearest
ladies, so many are the tricks that men, and particularly husbands,
play you, that, if some woman chance whiles to put a cheat upon her
husband, you should not only be blithe that this hath happened and
take pleasure in coming to know it or hearing it told of any, but
should yourselves go telling it everywhere, so men may understand
that, if they are knowing, women, on their part, are no less so! the
which cannot be other than useful unto you, for that, when one knoweth
that another is on the alert, he setteth himself not overlightly to
cozen him. Who, then, can doubt but that which we shall say to-day
concerning this matter, coming to be known of men, may be exceeding
effectual in restraining them from cozening you ladies, whenas they
find that you likewise know how to cozen, an you will? I purpose,
therefore, to tell you the trick which, on the spur of the moment, a
young woman, albeit she was of mean condition, played her husband for
her own preservation.
In Naples no great while agone there was a poor man who took to wife a
fair and lovesome damsel called Peronella, and albeit he with his
craft, which was that of a mason, and she by spinning, earned but a
slender pittance, they ordered their life as best they might. It
chanced one day that a young gallant of the neighbourhood saw this
Peronella and she pleasing him mightily, he fell in love with her and
importuned her one way and another till he became familiar with her
and they took order with each other on this wise, so they might be
together; to wit, seeing that her husband arose every morning betimes
to go to work or to find work, they agreed that the young man should
be whereas he might see him go out, and that, as soon as he was
gone,--the street where she abode, which was called Avorio, being very
solitary,--he should come to her house. On this wise they did many
times; but one morning, the good man having gone out and Giannello
Strignario (for so was the lover named) having entered the house and
being with Peronella, it chanced that, after awhile, the husband
returned home, whereas it was his wont to be abroad all day, and
finding the door locked within, knocked and after fell a-saying in
himself, 'O my God, praised be Thou ever! For, though Thou hast made
me poor, at least Thou hast comforted me with a good and honest damsel
to wife. See how she locked the door within as soon as I was gone out,
so none might enter to do her any annoy.'
Peronella, knowing her husband by his way of knocking, said to her
lover, 'Alack, Giannello mine, I am a dead woman! For here is my
husband, whom God confound, come back and I know not what this
meaneth, for never yet came he back hither at this hour; belike he saw
thee whenas thou enteredst here. But, for the love of God, however the
case may be, get thee into yonder vat, whilst I go open to him, and we
shall see what is the meaning of his returning home so early this
morning.' Accordingly, Giannello betook himself in all haste into the
vat, whilst Peronella, going to the door, opened to her husband and
said to him, with an angry air, 'What is to do now, that thou
returnest home so soon this morning? Meseemeth thou hast a mind to do
nought to-day, that I see thee come back, tools in hand; and if thou
do thus, on what are we to live? Whence shall we get bread? Thinkest
thou I will suffer thee pawn my gown and my other poor clothes? I, who
do nothing but spin day and night, till the flesh is come apart from
my nails, so I may at the least have so much oil as will keep our lamp
burning! Husband, husband, there is not a neighbour's wife of ours but
marvelleth thereat and maketh mock of me for the pains I give myself
and all that I endure; and thou, thou returnest home to me, with thy
hands a-dangle, whenas thou shouldst be at work.'
So saying, she fell a-weeping and went on to say, 'Alack, woe is me,
unhappy woman that I am! In what an ill hour was I born, at what an
ill moment did I come hither! I who might have had a young man of such
worth and would none of him, so I might come to this fellow here, who
taketh no thought to her whom he hath brought home! Other women give
themselves a good time with their lovers, for there is none [I know]
but hath two and some three, and they enjoy themselves and show their
husbands the moon for the sun. But I, wretch that I am! because I am
good and occupy myself not with such toys, I suffer ill and ill hap. I
know not why I do not take me a lover, as do other women. Understand
well, husband mine, that had I a mind to do ill, I could soon enough
find the wherewithal, for there be store of brisk young fellows who
love me and wish me well and have sent to me, proffering money galore
or dresses and jewels, at my choice; but my heart would never suffer
me to do it, for that I was no mother's daughter of that ilk; and here
thou comest home to me, whenas thou shouldst be at work.'
'Good lack, wife,' answered the husband, 'fret not thyself, for God's
sake; thou shouldst be assured that I know what manner of woman thou
art, and indeed this morning I have in part had proof thereof. It is
true that I went out to go to work; but it seemeth thou knowest not,
as I myself knew not, that this is the Feast-day of San Galeone and
there is no work doing; that is why I am come back at this hour; but
none the less I have provided and found a means how we shall have
bread for more than a month, for I have sold yonder man thou seest
here with me the vat which, as thou knowest, hath this long while
cumbered the house; and he is to give me five lily-florins[344] for
it.' Quoth Peronella, 'So much the more cause have I to complain;
thou, who art a man and goest about and should be versed in the things
of the world, thou hast sold a vat for five florins, whilst I, a poor
silly woman who hath scarce ever been without the door, seeing the
hindrance it gave us in the house, have sold it for seven to an honest
man, who entered it but now, as thou camest back, to see if it were
sound!' When the husband heard this, he was more than satisfied and
said to him who had come for the vat, 'Good man, begone in peace; for
thou hearest that my wife hath sold the vat for seven florins, whereas
thou wast to give me but five for it.' 'Good,' replied the other and
went his way; whereupon quoth Peronella to her husband, 'Since thou
art here, come up and settle with him thyself.' Giannello, who abode
with his ears pricked up to hear if it behoved him fear or be on his
guard against aught, hearing his mistress's words, straightway